A/N: Coming to an end for this story in a chapter or two. This is too much fluffiness for me LOL
As much as she prepared for their return home to Yorktown, the transition still jars Nyota out of her New Vulcan respite.
After days of being in Spock's company nearly round the clock, when Nyota gets back to her posting at the station, his absence was met with discomfort.
Spock seems equally dazed and befuddled, going through each task with his typically proficiency but lacking the spirit behind the motions.
Nyota isn't certain but New Vulcan might have awoken something that both of them had been starving for during their mission tour but had been unable to put their fingers on, let alone achieve. As much as returning to the starfleet station and their crew felt like going back home, it left Nyota mulling over questions she didn't know she had.
Ever since she had been a young child, Nyota had wanted to travel the stars and after years of rigorous study and brutal training, Starfleet had made good on making that lifelong dream a reality.
For Spock, the fleet of the United Federation of planets had been the utilitarian escape that his pragmatic nature craved and his wounded soul needed. He had faithfully tailored himself to be a dutiful and a well respected member of Vulcan society but his people far too often had seen him solely through the lens of his human heritage.
In their respite on New Vulcan, the pair had been service driven and attentive to their tasks, working like the well oiled machines Starfleet had molded them into. And even in their meticulous workings the two of them had still found a nice slice of time to coddle each other.
It was more than favored though, Nyota knows that Spock would reply that the time spent there was very satisfactory. She had loved their time on New Vulcan but leaving the planet behind made her question staying in Starfleet for the first time since she joined. Terrifyingly so.
How ironic that doubt would come to visit her after chiding Spock about his own. As it was it felt like he was making peace with his place in the universe and at her side in Starfleet. Maybe with the strengthening of their bond, Nyota was getting a glimpse of what he had gone through and felt for all those years of uncertainty. They had definitely make a difference, logging around a number of specimens for study and research while forging new friendships and connections among the Vulcan people.
Every now and then worry hangs over her, that if she were to go back would there another ' T'riel' watching and waiting to court her. If she were honest with herself it was less of other males and more of her own.
She and Spock have been together for a little over five. For better or for worse they stayed together, even when he wasn't himself. The last few evenings they spent on his new homeworld, where he would come to bed long after she had fallen asleep and curl up against her with a slighty toothy kiss at her shoulder, was what she wanted for the rest of her life.
Before the sex resumed and they came upon the time of his odd, mating cycle, Nyota wanted them elevated to the next step of their relationship, a step they dare not think of while they were at the academy and a level that was far from their minds as they struggled with villain after villain in deep space.
But would she would be the one that Spock chose to spend the rest of his life with? Would honor and duty elsewhere keep him from wanting marriage outside of the context of pon farr? After bonding, would Spock even consider performing a customary human wedding?
Every so often Nyota thinks of these things and every so often she has her doubts. But it just so happens that she they came back Spock will not or maybe can not leave her alone. Nyota finds it just as well because she can't leave him be either.
Off duty, they come together almost magnetically and hide themselves away in one of their rooms, in a crushing need to be as close as possible.
People have started to talk now, gossiping about what might have actually happened between them on their mission away to New Vulcan but Nyota hardly cares enough to notice. She was useful and happy with Spock, researching and logging their discoveries. " Let them say what they will." she says the first night Spock brings it to her attention. " Let them think that they know something special while we actually live it out. I love you and that shouldn't be a secret."
There's another meaning within her words, one that Nyota thinks that Spock doesn't notice but is touching her as she says it and kissing her when she means it.
A week after their arrival, the two of them still work hard to maintain the closeness they cultivated there, do the same activities they can and actions permissive while aboard the station.
It isn't the same though.
Rules and regulations only recognize so much and without a formal Vulcan bonding or Terran marriage and paperwork to verify either, their behavior has gone back to being stilted and tempered while out in public. Privately, however, they conduct themselves very differently.
Whatever affection Nyota allows him Spock relishes with gusto. Their shoes are barely off and jackets hung on their hooks before he is tugging at her hand and leading her to the couch. There she sits, wiggling her bottom into the cushion to make herself comfortable before opening her arms to welcome him in.
Spock goes to her readily, curling his large frame into her lap like some oversized cat, purring and pawing at her temple. Once settled, the Vulcan rummages through her mind and gives her the same pleasure to do so with his, just as one would leaf through a newspaper and catch up on the odds and ends of the day.
Tonight, is like any other until eight minutes in he finds something of interest. Spock takes a hold of the tangled knot of concerns and presses the ball to the forefront of her mind. At the swell of those familiar doubts, Nyota nervously avoids his dark gaze and peers down at her shoulder. He studies her patiently, knowing why she is so apprehensive and that she'll stop when she's ready. He knows this because he knows her. When the tension eases, he nudges her firmly and calls her name. " Nyota."
She remains still and quiet even as he pulls her down beneath him on the couch below. The position makes both of them take notice of the other's proximity, heatedly so but neither comment. For her part, Nyota takes pleasure in feeling small and delicate underneath his frame.
" Nyota." he prods again and this time Nyota swallows at the emotion he allows into his voice. Only for her and only when they were alone like this. It is an intimacy that they both enjoy but typically when they weren't fully clothed.
" Yes." she whispers quietly, staring at the living room with unfocused eyes.
" K'diwa, please look at me."
Nyota sucks in her bottom lip and nibbles at it as she peeks up at him within the cage of his arms. He huffs at her coy reframe and lowers his body against hers. She sighs at the weight as well as the heat as he shuffles over her to displace his mass more onto the couch than her stomach. " K'diwa, I will do that for you." he says softly answering her unspoken desire. " I promise."
" I want...I want you to, Spock." she sniffs. She catches her bottom lip again between her teeth as it trembles from the emotion she refuses to give expression. " But I'm, I uhh, on the inside, I worry still that I'm not enough for you and…"
" You love serving in Starfleet but you want to go back to New Vulcan." he cuts in with her own latent confession. Nyota chews at the inside of her mouth at his knowing glance and sighs with a shrug against the couch seating.
" I want that time back." she admits, picturing New Vulcan in her mind. " I want to be married and formally bonded, but I don't know if serving in Starfleet would hurt our relationship. I also wonder if we would do better on New Vulcan…? It was a wonderful time...I almost didn't want it to end but it created a bit of uncertainty. I don't know what's best for us or what's best for me."
Spock lowers himself further, bumping his forehead along hers until the noses brushed together. " A wise woman once told me, we do not have to do, know or decide everything all at once."
Nyota smiles with a quiet laugh and brought her hands up to run them over his shoulders. " Sounds like quite the lady."
Spock hums and tilts his head a bit nuzzle her face. " Indeed. I am in love with her."
Nyota makes a playfully hmph and scrunches up her mouth in surprise. " Oh, is that so?"
" It is so." Spock assures her. " I am going to marry her. We are going to live a long and prosperous life together." he says toying with her fingers at his shoulder. He brings her hand down to inspect each digit individually and lingers on her ring finger, gliding his index finger across it with what Nyota knows to be a coquettish sort of kiss. Even after all these years she still has to remind herself that touching his hands doesn't hold the same sort of meaning for Spock as it did for her or any other human.
" I am going to buy her a ring, illogical in its size for her to wear, procure a house of her choosing and take her to my bed every evening." he says, punctuating his first statement.
" Every evening?" she questions, lifting an eyebrow.
He nods sagely and circles two fingers over hers. The feel she gains from it still escapes her when it comes to description but one thing for certain is " I need to ensure that she is getting the proper amount of rest. She gets...agitated if not allowed at least 8 hours of sleep."
" I do not!" Nyota protests pushing against his shoulder. The corner of his mouth quirks into a lopsided smirk as he evades her hands and rises up to his knees. " I am just stating the facts of what I know about the wise woman that I love."
" Sure you are…" she says, elbowing her way up onto her rump. " So what are we going to do for dinner tonight?"
Spock shifts to the ground and pulls Nyota towards him by her hips. " Nyota."
She moves forward readily and opens her legs wider as he comes to kneel between them. For someone so lean, Spock takes up a lot of size as he crowds closer still with her thigh spreading into a split. Nyota takes a breath as he levels a steady gazes at her, coming nearly eye to eye as he contemplates something she can't glean from his touch. " What is it?"
When Spock darts his gaze down her torso and back to her eyes, Nyota narrows her own with a jerk of her neck. " Spock, we've talked about this. Not yet. I-"
" You misunderstand." he says cutting off her irritated protest.
Rifling around in his pocket, Spock stills his hand and then draws it out with a necklace trailing from his fingers. Nyota's eyes go wide while her mouth gapes open. " What are you doing? Spock? Oh my God."
Spock poured of beaded string into his open hand and holds her gaze as he extends it towards her. " I was unfamiliar with most of the customs regarding marriage in your culture so I took what I knew from my mother's and sought to fulfil the rest with the help of your parents."
" You spoke with my parents?! What did you say? What did they say?!"
She can't breathe, can hardly hear him as he answers her and picks up the necklace up again between his hands. " Is it too much to ask, for you trust me again?"
Nyota rubs at at her eyes and fans her face with her hands while shaking her head vigorously. " Of course not! Oh my goodness are you serious?!"
The question seems to confuse him momentarily as he stares at her with his head tilted. " Vulcans do not jest."
Nyota's breath quickens as he places the necklace over her head and strings the sapphires around her neck. " It was past due for you to receive a necklace of your own. My mother's was sentimental because of what she means to me but I wish to look at this necklace and think of only you."
Nyota looks at the bright cerulean stones hanging loosely above her cleavage and takes a shuddering breath. It was happening, he chose her. He wanted her. Not for now, not for a while but for as long as life would give them.
As the image of the gems grows hazy in her vision, Nyota is unsure if it's the light off the facets or the water burning at her eyes that blurs her vision. " Oh my goodness."
" Blue I believe is the traditional color for engagement." he comments as he nervously watches her face. " Does it please you?"
" It's gorgeous." she whispers, running her thumbs over the polished stones. " I don't know what to say."
" Say that you will bond with me. Say that you will marry me, that you will feel secure in me again."
Nyota swallows loudly around the tightness forming in her throat as she nods and wraps her arms around him. " Yes." she nods into his shoulder. Spock holds her tighter then and runs his hands over her slender back.
From his skin, Nyota feels relief, joy and gratitude rolling off of him in waves. He was worried that she would ask for him to wait or be uncertain of giving her consent. The moment he felt her acceptance, the tension building inside of him evaporated and left him pleasantly at ease.
After minutes they recovered inside the tight knit of each other's arms, they finally untangle themselves and long enough to search for dinner.
As they scrounge around in his kitchen, Nyota can't stop herself from smiling. Heck she can't stop herself from singing and dancing around the floor while Spock watches her in amusement. She shimmies left and right with a spoon in hand, chanting a silly rhyme that she creates moments after they start rummaging in the cabinets.
" I'm getting marrriieedd, I'm getting bondeddd! My baby looooovess me, my man he wannnnntts me!"
She repeats the song until he catches her by the waist and tells her she's being illogical.
Nyota scoffs and teases the hands he has at her waist with a finger twist she knows he likes. When his breath catches, Nyota smirks knowing she's done it right. " I think I'm being extremely logically given the circumstances. I'm happy. We're happy."
" I saw your wish to go back." he admits, thumbing at her hipbone. " I am amenable whenever you desire to request our leave."
Nyota leans back against his chest and gazes up at his face. " Your mom's necklace? Wasn't it like an engagement gift?"
Spock moved his arms up to hold her tighter and sighs as he frames his answer. " It was an heirloom in truth but I gave it to you because you as remarkable, just as she was. As my ko-telsu, you deserved a necklace and symbol of engagement all of your own."
" Thank you." she chimes. She fidgets with her mouth and squirms in his arms. Her face hurts from smiling so hard but she doesn't stop herself. For years when she was around Spock, Nyota found herself either frowning or professionally impassive. Her romantic love and needs had taken a backseat to her duty and his welfare but she had never thought that in that time Spock had seen that she needed his commitment spelled out and affirmed.
In the circle of his arms, the muscle strain in her cheeks from her newborn happiness paled in comparison to the pain she harbored in years gone by. It no matter if it was late or right on time, it was just what they wanted.
A/N: So there will be at least two more chapters for this before they head back out to space on the Enterprise and I have a M rated one shot that goes along with this story that I'll post when it comes to that time. Thoughts? Feelings?