A/N: So I had to write this chapter about s e v e n times until I was happy with it and to be honest, I'm not happy with it yet, but its been a long time and I want to update so bad and I doubt I can write it much better with this block!

It was very hard, actually it was INSANE :P I've been doing sooo much, because I have tests, but I'll always have time to write in this story :P Even though my other stories seem to not get updated.. woops.

Anyways, I finally managed out a draft I thought was okay, so I hope you can keep in mind that I do have writers block, but I still tried to squeeze out a good chapter because you guys are amazingsauce!

Chapter 45

Marlene McKinnon, Emmeline Vance and Sirius Black

She's pale.

Pale and cold, but she's breathing - and her cheeks are rosy.

Her leg is standing out of her comforter (white and too clean comforter) it's a good sign, I keep telling myself, because if she would lay still, legs straight and arms straight; then something would be wrong.

Because Mary's never still, not while she sleeps; she moves, and mutters, and groans and sometimes even talks.

But even Mary Macdonald would have to be still in death. So every time she moves, I can breathe – be calm and feel relief, because she's alive.

She hadn't looked alive.

She had never looked more dead, lying on the floor, pale face, bruises over her legs, hands and face.

Blood coming from her nose, eyes open wide, but never blinking nor moving.

Nothing about her said that she was alive.

Mulciber hadn't moved either, still standing over her, his short wand still pointed at her body.

Her screams had been heard, it wasn't only Avery and I that had heard them, all the way into the empty room, where he'd just finished telling me everything there was to tell about Emmeline Vance's betrayal. Even though I was in shock after hearing everything he said, I was easily yanked from it when I heard her scream, it didn't take me long to realize who it was, maybe because I've known her for so long or because I've heard her screams before, whatever the reason was, I just knew.

Avery's ears perked up too, at first I looked at him, he pulled up his wand and I pulled up mine, pointing it straight at his chest, but his wand wasn't pointed at me, but at the doors which he quickly blasted open.

"Lets go!" he had ordered, and then we were both running out the doors.

She had screamed again but I could't make out from what direction the screaming came, to me it was coming from every direction.

My wand found Avery again, but he wasn't paying any attention to me

"This way." he ordered again, pointing a hand to my left, and once again I was following him, running until I saw her.

Everything after that was a blur, I could still hear screams, not Mary's screams, not mine but student screams, because we weren't the only ones that saw her.

Angry screams, surprised screams and sad screams, so many mixed emotions hung in the hallway, slowly suffocating me and making the large hallway, shrink, the walls closing around me.

He understood it, because just moments before I was going to scream at everyone to shut up, someone was pulling me back and I could tell only by the touch of his hand, who it was.

I wasn't sure where he was pulling me, it wasn't until I couldn't see anything, but his shirt that my eyes were wetting with tears, that I realized he was hugging me. Comforting me.

Things after that were foggier, Professors talked to me, tried to get me to go back to the Gryffindor tower, I refused. Classes the next day were dismissed and I spent hours sitting in a chair next to Mary's hospital bed, refusing to leave.

James, Sirius (He never spoke though, not about Mary and not about what had happened between us), Lily, Alice, Peter and Remus had visited, Vance thankfully hadn't.

But it hadn't been a very lively visit, we had all just sat in silence, until James finally gathered the courage to ask, what we had been doing.

And I had told them everything I knew.

Emmeline Vance had started to be friends with Slytherin in the middle of fifth year and ever since that had shared some important details with them.

She had told them the password to our house, letting the Slytherins pull a prank on Gryffindor.

But Avery didn't know the reason – or didn't want to share the reason – why Emmeline had decided to switch 'loyalties'. But I really couldn't care less, because all I wanted to do was to be-head that bitch, but of course I hadn't had the chance to do so.

But after I had told my ''friends'' (sometimes I wasn't sure if it was okay to call them that anymore because we weren't that close all the time) I could read on their faces they felt the same way, but I had no idea what this all meant or what we were going to do about it.

I can't even think straight anymore.

I just sit in a chair and stare at Mary like a psycho stalker for hours, waiting for her to open her eyes, because if she doesn't do that soon, they might want to take her to st. Mungo's and thats something I don't want to see happening.

- Hunting For Happiness -

Emmeline Vance

Mulciber attacked Mary.

The news travel around Hogwarts faster than the news of Lily Evan's parents passing away had travelled around.

Mulciber attacked Mary.

Even after fifty times of repeating them in my brain, the words still don't make sense.

Mary and I have maybe not been good friends for a long time – if ever – but still... I never thought someone ... especially someone thats... something close to be my friend? I don't even know, but I thought it was obvious that they weren't allowed to hurt my... friends.

So thats why I'm racing towards the dungeons, towards the Slyhterin house after quickly scribbling a short, angry and demanding owl to Desiree and Valerie to ask for them to come out to meet me.

And they do as I asked, when I reach the last step of the stairs, they immediately come to my vision.

"Em-" Desiree starts, her sugar sweet voice already getting on my nerves, so I have no problem with cutting her off.

"THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN!" I scream out before I can stop myself, my hand just inches away from the pocket that holds my wand.

"Mulciber did this on his own." Valerie responds, crossing his arms, her voice sharp. "And he's paying for it, been expelled and all."

My eyes narrow at her tone. "I know I agreed to help you play PRANKS on them but ATTACKING my FRIENDS is stepping-"

"Your friends?" Desiree cuts me off, laughing and shaking her head. "Em, they were never your friends or at least they haven't been for a long time, you know this." she takes a step towards me. "We are your friends."

I hesitate at her words, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. "But.. Mary...-"

"Mulciber crossed the line," Valerie says, her voice softer than earlier. "we know that and he's paying for it like I said," she says very slowly and calmly. "But don't call them your friends, they weren't there for you, not after Claire, were they? When you needed them the most?"

Her name makes me jerk back and the tears are free-falling down my cheeks now.

"They never even asked, never cared enough to find out what was going on, Emmeline. But we were there for you, we're still here for you. Who cares if Mulciber and Avery crossed some lines in the past-"

"-And Avery?" her words force me back to reality, as I push the image of Claire to the back of my mind "What did Avery do?"

Desiree shifts her eyes towards Valerie, giving her a look. "Maybe she doesn't know Val."

Valerie nods slowly at Desiree, its like they are acting as if I'm not there. "Just Mulciber then."

But I'm not that daft. "What did Avery do?" I demand, my arms crossing over my chest.

Valerie sighs, motioning towards Desiree with her arm. "You tell her. I can't believe they didn't tell you though, Em, thats just another sign of how they are not your friends."

My eyebrows raise and I switch my attention to the honey blonde girl, that stands awkwardly in front of me.

"Well," Desiree starts. "Avery and Mulciber had a little run in with Marlene McKinnon, last year, and they got a bit carried away, not that you can blame them, I mean you've seen how McKinnon dresses, she's just asking for it-"

I'm pretty sure my jaw drops, to the floor and her voice zones out from my head.

At first I'm not even sure if I understand what she's saying.

But after staring at her face for what seems to be minutes, it sinks in.

Somehow my first reaction is to pull up my wand, not even sure at who I'm aiming it, but before I can do anything it flies from my hand and crashes into the wall.

I look at both girls, but neither have their wands in hand.

"Emmeline Vance, what to do with you?" Avery's dark voice is what greets me instead, as he steps from the shadows, his dark brown wand slightly raised.

I'm not sure if he has hexed me or if I'm just too angry to move, but for whatever reason I can't seem to be able move, even though I want to run over to my wand and hex the man in front of me into oblivion.

"Emmeline." Desiree steps closer to me, blocking Avery from my view.

She grabs my hand, clutching my fingers to a point where she could easily be trying to break them off. "Don't act like this, its time to choose, Em, us or them." her big eyes look pleadingly into mine.

And this time I know its not magic that keeps me frozen and at loss for words, because this time I honestly have no will to move or talk, or to make up my mind.

- Hunting for Happiness -

Sirius Black

At first everything is silent - the Common Room is empty, except for us, which makes the silence even more unbearable.

The first hour passes by, in complete silence and shock, because we were shoved out of the Hospital Wing (everyone except McKinnon, of course, who refused to go) only minutes after McKinnon finished filling us in.

But after about an hour, James explodes – of course its him first, I've gotten used to not saying a word and Remus is the calm one and I guess the girls and Peter are still in shock.

The next hour is him ranting, screaming, yelling and breaking things.

He has most amazing new names for Emmeline Vance and its hard not to crack a smile at his most random ones.

But none of us do, we just sit, stare, wince and listen.

After an hour of only James talking, Lily joins in and surprisingly Alice is next, the three of them scream and yell together, a tear and a tear shed while books fly into the walls from their hands.

After another hour it becomes too much to watch, and I'm not even sure if they notice me standing up and sneaking away.

Remus and Peter have slowly started to participate in the screaming and yelling and crying.

None of us can believe this is happening, even I am shook-up.

I've not known Emmeline Vance well for the past years.

But like all the others I have my memories.

Back in third year, when I was drifting away from my family, I had somehow ended up alone in the Common Room, with only Emmeline standing over me.

"Sirius, are you okay?" Emmeline face had, had so much worry written all over it that it was hard to look at it.

She held the back of her hand against my forehead.

I shook her hand away, grunting as I shook my head. "Gettaway."

She sighed, wiping my sweat away from her hand on her skirt. "What happened?"

I grunted again, but my eyes stayed on her face.

"You can tell me," Emmeline promised, kneeling on the ground, so she could lean closer to me, her fingers slowly trailing over my arm.

I opened my mouth, first to tell her what was on my mind, but I wasn't used to doing that – I never relieved my weaknesses to anyone - so instead I had leaned forward and kissed her.

Neither of us had told a living creature, nor talked about it to each other, but there was no denying that after that night, something changed between the two of us, and perhaps when she suddenly stopped hanging around with us Gryffindors, it had hurt a little more than it should've.

I know I didn't love her, I didn't even feel for her, like I sometimes felt for Marlene McKinnon, but I could never deny that those few minutes that kiss had lasted, I felt that she cared and when I was thirteen and the only girl I had ever crushed on was drooling over older boys, it was not easy to find the care I wanted, especially with my family, so feeling that someone, that Emmeline Vance cared for me was just what I needed.

"What are you doing here?"

Her voice jerks me away from my thoughts, I hadn't even realized where I was going, until she spoke and I realized I had walked all the way over to the Hospital Wing, opened the doors and walked in.

"I-" My voice falters.

Marlene stands only few inches away from me, next to Mary's bed that is placed the closest to the door, one hand clasped around the covers of the bed, her sparkly big blue eyes staring at my face.

I swallow.

For some reason I feel guilty, for some reason I feel like I owe it to her to tell her about Emmeline, to tell her about our kiss, I feel guilty for thinking about it and for ending here in front of Marlene McKinnon of all people.

"You what?" she sighs, her fingers releasing the covers and arms crossing. But her voice is soft.

"Its too crowded there." I manage up, tearing my eyes from hers.

From the corner of my eye I manage to see her nod and I hear her sigh.

"You confuse me." she says after a minute of silence and I shift my eyes over to her again.

"Oh?" my arms mimic hers and cross over my chest, before I take a step towards her.

"We confuse me." she corrects herself, looking at the window. "You and I and how we treat each other sometimes."

My eyebrows raise, but I say nothing, just watch her speak.

"Most of the time, we're horrible to each other, pushing limits to make the other miserable, but then sometimes, we're nice." She continues. "Like yesterday, when you pulled me away from the mess, the chaos.. It confuses me, Sirius."

"What are you saying?" my voice falters again, it's only near her and at times like this when I can't seem to be normal and my voice can't seem to me strong like it normally is, I'm too weak around her.

She shrugs, turning her attention back to Mary. "I'm not sure."

I sigh, uncross my arms and take another steps towards her.

She turns around, so quickly I have to stop myself from taking a step away from her, but she's just so close.

"Will you ever love me?" her voice is silent, just above a whisper and I can almost hear her struggling with each word.

I swallow again. "I can't."

She sighs, shaking her head and is about to turn around again, when I grab her arm.

"I should." I let go of her, but she doesn't move. "It would be perfect."

"Your parents would approve." she mutters out, her eyes finding mine again.

I look away. "You're pureblood, they'd let me love you, marry you-"

"But, that's why you can't, you can't stand the thought of pleasing them." her voice is bitter and she shakes her head again. "I knew it. I always knew it. But I kept telling myself it wasn't true! That you weren't so ... so ... so unfair, so selfish!" her voice is not angry nor bitter anymore, but so much worse, so hurt.

I look away again, staring at the window behind her, instead of manning up and looking at her. "I'm sorry."

"You should be." she says, her voice recovering and building up strong again.

"Do you love me?" I'm not sure if I'm even allowed to ask, but I can't stop myself, my eyes move to hers again, unwillingly.

She looks up, opening her mouth and staring at me before she hesitates, she closes her mouth again.

I lean closer to her. "Marlene, do you love me?"

She gives away a big, loud breathe of air, but doesn't say a word.

She's so close to me that my nose is almost touching her face.

"Marlene, do you love me?" I'm not sure why I'm asking, but for some reason I need to hear her say it now, it's too late to back away.

"Get out of here." Her voice is suddenly so harsh and angry, that it comes as a shock to me.

She backs away and her hands push to my chest. "GET OUT OF HERE!"

I back away, still staring at her, and its not until I see a tear falling from her eye and down her cheek, that I'm jerked back to reality and I realize what I'm doing to her.

I'm sorry.

I don't say it, but I meant it.

Marlene turns away from me and sits back on Mary's bed.

I stare at her for a moment, before I turn around and walk towards the doors, not daring to look back at the blonde behind me.

A/N:

Dont shoot?

So writers block sucks, so I'm sorry if this is rough on the edges, making strong dialouges is really hard with stuch a stiff Writer's block.

Will you review to tell me what to think?

I think my main problem in this chapter was that, I had three really different POV's here, there's the scared, hurt, angry and worried Marlene, the confused, angry and broken Emmeline and then Sirius, that I can't seem to find the right words to describe, poor boy is just messed up right now. So all three of them together just mess up my head, but I wanted to make the chapter emotional, and I hope I managed to get some emotion out, even though its not very long and maybe stiff –

RIGHT, I should stop apologizing.

Grace me with a review?

Until next time!

Love as always

Rainbow Dust