HAPPY NEW YEAR

… I'm a bit late.

Right, uh.. *coughs awkwardly* .. I think I promised to update.. soon… I did..didn't I? .. and I uhm… didn't. But guuuuuys, you must forgive me because I wanted to wait a bit because, well as I post this its Janary 8th 2012 in Iceland, which means this very story that you're reading right now has turned one year old.

KETOKRTOKEORK.

I've been writing thixs for a year?

Wow.

So right, eh.. it has a birthday and I just like.. oh my god. :D

Thank you guys for sticking until chapter 46, and please dot leave me even though I'm probably going to write another set of million chapters because I cant stoooooop and thanks for sticking with me even though my author notes are sometimes longer than the chapter it self...

Right, enough of the babbling.

Read on!

Chapter 46

James Potter, Emmline Vance and Mary Macdonald

James Potter

It's surprising how my life can be so filled with different events, while it still feels like its never changing and always almost the same.

It's probably because there's always drama around me and my friends, and it's not even just Marlene and Sirius' fault anymore (which is one of the things that has changed because few years ago it seemed to be just their drama that kept everything about our friendship in ruins, but now other stuff is happening, sadly.)

It's not like it isn't enough with Lily's - I wonder if she'd go out with me if I quit offering her lilies and give her roses instead? - parents dying like few months ago, leaving her an orphan and having to a) live on her own after school b) beg her sister to let her live in their old house with her c) … move in with me?

- Anyways, like that isn't enough, Emmeline has to be a wanna-be-Slytherin now?

She's not even staying in the Gryffindor dorm anymore. I haven't seen her in the Common Room since Marlene confronted her, so I'm guessing she just isn't even anywhere close to the Gryffindor tower.

And then there is Mary and the Mulciber attack.

And of course that leads to the newest Sirius-and-Marlene-drama that of course NEVER gets old. Ever.

Merlin, I hate it all.

I glance around the room - the Common Room - which seems to be the room we always "hang" in, in silence. Which is just great. Fantastic really. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Padfoot is sleeping in his arm chair - probably drooling too. He's been tired all week.

Moony is tired too, but for different reasons than Sirius (at least I hope so)

Wormtail is staring at nothing which is very Peter-like (and slightly creepy.)

Mary's reading a book, which is not very Mary like (and slightly creepy as well.)

Marlene - Lene, Marley, Mars.. whatever happened to those names? I'll have to join Sirius in the 'McKinnon' name-calling soon - is flipping through her Potions notes because she hasn't been brewing anything correctly for the past days.

And Lily - who is supposed to be helping Marlene - is playing with her Head Girl badge and nodding to everything Marlene says (even though it's wrong) and Alice is waving her own Potions notes at Marlene, correcting her as Lily just nods.

I'm really afraid for our sanity sometimes.

I cough.

Nothing happens.

I cough louder.

Alice looks up, smiling softly at me, before lowering a piece of paper she was waving at Marlene's face so she can get a better look at me. "Everything alright James?"

Now they all look up - bar Sirius who is sleeping and Peter that falls off his chair because of the sudden noise interrupting his creepy staring at a wall.

I cough again - this time awkwardly because I never decided on what to actually say. "Marlene," her name seems to jerk Sirius awake because he chooses that moment to jump up in the armchair and look around cluelessly before mumbling out in a sleep drunken voice;

"'Fwellasleep?"

"Yes, you fell asleep." Alice responds, smiling again her warm motherly smile at Sirius, who just grimaces in respond.

"James." Marlene snags the piece of paper in Alice's hand away from her and her eyes run over it.

"Practice tomorrow." I respond, trying to sound relaxed and casual as I lean back on the couch and run my hand through my hair.

She looks up, and away form the paper; at first her eyes narrow, then they soften out again and her eyebrows cock up, her eyes then flicker for just a second - but I catch it - towards Sirius and then finally she replies (in a strained, slightly pained voice) "Morning?"

"6 a.m sharp." I respond, my voice now normal and a grin spreading over my face.

This is what I call progress, I finally have a whole Quidditch team again!

"I'll be there." Marlene responds but she doesn't drop it. "But just to see if I still like it there."

"There's a game in two weeks-"

"I said; I'll be there." Marlene cuts me off, glaring before she turns her attention back towards Potions.

I frown, sparing Sirius a glance, who's rolling his eyes at me and grimacing himself.

I sigh, my hand running through my hair again. At least its a little bit of progress right?

Emmeline Vance

The Slytherin Common Room is cold.

The Slyherin Dorm Rooms are cold.

Okay, maybe not cold but it just doesn't feel.. right and I keep shivering.

I've been shivering for about a week.

It's amazing really, how there hasn't been a teacher to usher me out of the Slytherin house, maybe they don't know, maybe they don't care, maybe they know its for the best?

Desiree is prompted on her bed, that has green sheets on it and a silver pillow (… Typical, isn't it?), she has her head in her hands and an open book in front of her and sighs every now and then.

Valerie is talking to some other member of the Slytherin house (when I started living here I realized I didn't exactly know everyone like I thought, I only know the people of the "group" or whatever)

Valerie and Desiree managed to talk another girl in their dorm - Sadie, I think - into transforming a desk into a mattress for me, apparently she's fantastic at transformation and the mattress hasn't changed back into the desk yet which is good, but I can't exactly say its really soft either.

My mattress in the Gryffindor dorm is a lot softer and the room is never too cold and you don't shiver for no reason all the time.

A part of me wishes that I could just go back there back into the Gryffindor tower and sleep in my soft, warm bed.

But then again, a bigger part of me knows that if I step a foot inside there my head will be snapped off in matter of seconds.

I burry my head in the pillow, that has the same silver color as every other pillow here.

I can't believe they found out.

I can't believe Blaire told them.

I can't believe Mulciber attacked Mary.

I can't believe my friendship with the Gryffindor house is officially ruined.

Val and Des keep saying its for the best and that now I and the rest of their Slytherin friends can be closer, be best friends, but still they keep me locked up here, at least it seems that way, we only go out to go to classes, but we don't hang in the Common Room and we don't talk to Avery, Snape, Rosier or anyone else. I have no idea why. We just stay here. Always.

Every now and then Des will bring up Claire's name, when I start mumbling to myself reasons why this is bad and that maybe I should talk to Alice or Lily or someone from Gryffindor.

I think it drives them nuts.

Valerie will scream at me and call the Gryffindors "Bunch of nitwits that never cared about you Emmeline."

Which usually is harsh and snappy enough to make me stay (besides Claire's name always makes me tear up.)

I didn't wanna see their faces anyway, right now, my knees would give up on me if I glanced at Sirius and Marlene would snap my head off if I dared look at her and even Alice would back her up.

But they just don't understand.

Just like I hadn't understood what was going on when they (Marlene, Alice, Lily and a very pale Mary) had cornered me on my way to the Hospital (to see Mary, because I had heard they were allowing her out) but I hadn't manage to reach the Hospital before they reached me.

"Mary!" A smile spreads over my face, when I see that the dirty blonde haired girl is already out of the hospital, she looks a bit pale though still and Marlene has her hands around Mary's waist so she can lean on her if she needs to.

As soon as the word leave my lips, Marlene looks up and her eyes narrow.

She turns to Lily and mutters something out before she heaves Mary off her shoulder and over to Lily's.

"I can do this-" Mary mutters, but her hand reaches out for Lily's shoulder to study herself and Marlene rolls her eyes.

Alice's eyes lock with mine for a moment, and I smile a puzzled smile at her, but instead of the familiar soft motherly smile she most often responds with, her lips draw into a thin line and she looks away and at Marlene, her eyes are as hard as earlier and she nods.

Then the blonde and the short haired brunette walk towards me and I stare at them with raised eyebrows.

"So Mary's out-" I start, when they're close enough, but Marlene cuts me off quickly.

"Don't you dare talk about that like you care."

I'm not quite sure what she means: probably that I haven't visited at all.

I swallow the lump that's building in my throat, knowing I cant tell them the truth that I was busy in the Slytherin house crying and being confused for the past four days.

Marlene scowls as I respond. "I do care." I reply slowly, rubbing my hands together. "I've been too busy to visit - and I know thats awful, I just-"

"I would've had you kicked out anyway." Marlene spits out, her voice so sharp and icy that it hits me like she has just reached out and slapped me across the face.

Sighing, I turn to Alice, she usually is fair when it comes to conversations like this and I've never known how to deal with an angry Marlene. "I'm sorry I didn't visit her, can we just forget about that, I wanna talk to Mary-" I take a step in Mary's direction, but a pair of hands touch my shoulder and push me backwards.

I immediately look at Marlene's, but her hands aren't the ones pushing me away.

"Alice?" I turn to the brunette and something in my stomach tightens. "What are you doing-"

"Mary is not friends with you anymore." Alice responds, in a low voice and her eyes flicker at Marlene instead of looking me in the eye.

But Marlene has no problem with staring right into my eyes as she speaks. "None of us are. If you want any friends to care about, go and talk to your Slytherin buddies."

My stomach tightens even more: They know.

"I-" I feel nauseous and its like the room is suddenly spinning, but Marlene and Alice are both still in front of me.

"Just stay away from us Vance." Marlene sneers, turning around.

"You don't understand-" I try, forcing up as many words as I can, even though I'm physically hurting all over and have a need to just lay down.

Marlene turns around again, so quickly that her blonde hair smacks into her face. "No. you don't understand" she sneers out viciously. "We know you have been telling people from Slytherin stuff about us, the password into Gryffindor and a lot more and the right thing would be to tell someone and get you expelled but instead we're just going to be sure that you stay the hell away from us before you do any more damage to more of us." her hand gestures to Mary, that is leaning against the wall, next to Lily.

"I-" I try again, knowing I need to say something, but I can't form a sentence.

I always thought that it wouldn't be hard to stop being friends with them all and just be friends with Valerie and Des and them all but it is, it's much worse than I could've imagined.

Marlene shakes her head at me, a disgusted look on her face. "Just stay away." she repeats, and then she grabs Alice's arm and both of them turn around together and walk away from me and towards Mary and Lily where they heave Mary on Marlene's shoulder again and walk away. And all I can do is just stare.

They don't understand…

… They don't know …

… they don't know what they did …

… Claire.

Mary Macdonald

Everything is foggy.

Not just the attack.

Everything.

Each day is foggy - it all passes by in a fog.

Everything seems to be dangerous too.

I can hardly go to the bathroom alone, because Marlene, Lily and Alice (and if around them; James and Remus too) will be there, lifting my arms onto their shoulders, making sure I take small steps. They even cut my food down like I cant do it myself, pour me water and carry my books and make sure I do my homework in bed and Alice helps me through everything.

It's like I'm their little sick child.

But I'm not.

I'm not sick.

And I'm not a child.

I just got attacked and a little hurt.

What we should be focusing on is the whole "Emmeline turns Slyther-line on us." thing.

It's great gossip, but I'm not sure if I can actually share it with Ver or anyone, because its kinda.. embarrassing and hurtful and.. very surprising. Kinda like a slap in the face, the hard You-stole-my-boyfriend-kind of a slap.

We all seem to be taking it differently.

Marlene is just angry, very very angry.

Alice seems to be hurt and disappointed.

I don't think Lily knows Emmeline well, but she seems very confused.

James is confused as well, and probably a bit hurt; they've been friends for a while. He fusses over it every now and then.

Remus just shakes his head, but I think he is personally more upset over the fact that Blaire Vandever knew about this apparently, and told Lene and not him (they used to date for a while and broke up because of trust issues and lying so thats pretty much a double slap in the face for Rem).

Peter seems a bit clueless and he's probably just confused, he just nods and agrees with us all when we discuss (yell at each other) it.

I'm… angry. And confused. And surprised. Everything really. And it's probably annoying them how I can't shut up about it, but seriously! She told some slimy Slytherins all our secrets? And has been friends with them behind our backs for what? Years? We need to talk about this!

Merlin. If I could only slap that bitch.

I look over at Marlene, she's lying on her bed, but she isn't doing anything but staring at the ceiling.

It's late. Really late. And the lights are out, but I can still see thats she's awake, her eyes are open and every now and then she sighs.

Alice is asleep. I think.

And Lily's in a heavy slumber in the bed next to mine.

The bed in the left corner is empty.

I sit up, running a hand through my hair (I really need to colour it again) I push myself off the bed and tip-toe over to Marlene.

"Lene," I whisper out, pulling the covers from her body and sitting on her bed, she immediately starts making room for me on her bed.

I grin, lying my head down on her pillow and pull the covers back over both our bodies.

She keeps staring upwards. "What time is it?"

"5 am." I respond, glancing at the clock on my nightstand.

After few minutes of silence I sigh. "Lene…"

"Mare." she responds, and a smile spreads over my face. It's like we're thirteen again, cuddling in one bed, under one comforter with only one pillow, spending half of the night giggling quietly and talking about boys and... just everything.

"I still don't remember everything that happened." I whisper out, turning my face towards hers, but I can't see her face, because she's staring right at the ceiling, all I can see is her golden hair on the pillow. "But," I add before she can say anything. "I do remember some stuff."

I can almost see her rolling her eyes, "What is that?" she asks, turning this time towards me.

"You talking to Avery."

A frown spreads over her face and she closes her eyes and breathes out a long breath. "And?" her eyes fly open again.

I shrug, but she can't see it because of the covers. "I was wondering.. it was he that told you right? Blaire told you first, and then he confirmed-"

"Yes." Marlene responds tiredly. "Shall we try to sleep now?"

"What did you do?" I blurt out, I was planning on trying to … ease the question into the conversation but I don't seem to be able to do just that.

Marlene's eyebrows raise. "What do you mean?"

I sigh, "Well, I know people like Avery, they don't do stuff for other people just because 'of the kindness in their hearts'" I give her a look and she grimaces. "He probably asked for something-"

"You were there." she responds.

"What?"

"You were there when I offered 'something' to him."

My eyebrows raise again, as I try to think back, but its far too foggy to reveal any details.

She sighs again, closing her eyes. "I knew the only way to get it out of him was to.. offer him whatever he wanted. So that's what I said. Whatever you want."

I freeze at the words; I can remember them now.

"But," I choke out, staring at my best friend, but she has her eyes closed and can't see the worried look on my face. ".. Lene, you do know what that means? What he would want from someone… from you."

Marlene turns her head to the other side, facing the wall. "Goodnight Mary."

I continue to stare at her (or well, the back of her head). "Goodnight Lene."

This can really not be good. At all.

A/N: WRTIERSBLOCK Y U still be here?

So while I was writing this I was also babysitting (at least while writing some of it anyway) and the kid asked me once if she could write the story and I was like ".. not sure about that" and then she asks why I'm writing it and I respond "Cus I'm the bestestestest!" and she throws a piece of orange at me .. D: Note to self: Egotisticalness = Bad.

Right so HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR FIC. I can't believe I wrote 45 chapters just in 12 months. Thats.. unbelievable. And that I have 448 reviews. Holyguacamole.

That is a lot.

I hope the chapter was okay! I was gonna add another scene to this, but it didn't fit in with the chapter, so I'm guessing it comes in the next chapter!

Here is what you can expect in the next chapter;

Some Marlene and Sirius-ness

Some Marlene and Avery-ness

Some Regulus-ness

Some old ghosts coming back(-ness)

... I dont even know what that last means. Or well I do. But you probably dont. Mejehehehe.

REVIEW TO MAKE ME STOP BLABBING FOR FOREVER! (Hunting for Happiness would love a review as a birthday presents.. just sayiin')