Surprise: Syllabification: Sur·prise Noun.1) A feeling of mild astonishment or shock caused by something unexpected. Example: Much to her surprise, she missed him.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

"You have no idea. Can you imagine the single most embarrassing moment of your life and then times it by ten and you may come close to the humiliation I felt yesterday. But! But, it was in that moment when I experienced an epiphany. Like a real life Oprah full circle moment. The pain I felt and embarrassment could only be useful in one circumstance."

I paused, allowing my audience a moment to catch up. I walked over toward the couch and laid down on it as I imagined that it was expected of me.

"My brother wants me to see a head doctor, and at first, I was offended and outraged by his demand, but now I understand some reasoning behind his logic. He knew that, with his other horrid demands, I would need someone to talk to, and so here I am. Shrink me, doc! Tell me how to get over the humiliation I felt at the Maserati dealership yesterday. Fix me."

Jasper sat in an armchair, wearing his black silk robe, still wiping the sleep out of his eyes.

"Oh and…by the way, I am totally digging the Hefner look on you."

"Bella…it's five in the morning." Jasper replied. "You…had to wrestle me out of my warm bed to tell me about your car experience?"

"Well…it's when my epiphany struck, and well…I told Angela I would help her get her department back, and when you don't have a paycheck, time is of the essence."

Jasper sighed, and once again, rubbed his eyes.

"I also need a letter in writing that states that I was here and that you were successful in head shrinkage." I added. "For my brother. I'm sure he'll require proof."

"Bella. As much as I would love to be the wonder doctor who was able to "shrink your head," I already told you that I wouldn't want to take on your case. It wouldn't be right. I know you too well. I can, however, point you in the direction of someone who can help…"

"But, I don't want to talk to some stranger." I whined.

"I'm too involved with your situation. I would have bias and it wouldn't be ethically right of me to do so. But I promise my colleague would be happy to hear all about your car issues. He is an excellent…"

"He? The stranger's a dude?" I exclaimed.

"I'm a dude and you have no problem talking with me."

"Yes, but you're not really a dude…you're more like a friend." I tried to explain.

"Thanks?" Jasper questioned. "I would hope after all this time and your ability to disturb me at this hour would constitute a friend."

"You know what I mean." I waved him off, "Anyway, what if your doctor dude wants to talk to me about more than my car issues? What if he pushes me to open up about…stuff?"

"Well…that is the general idea behind our profession."

I flopped back down toward the couch as my mind began to swirl. This is not why I came here. I wanted the quick fix and was sure Jasper would help me out, but obviously not.

"You know, you don't have to tell him anything you're not ready to until you are ready to tell him. Maybe start off small, like your car issue…"

"My car issues are not small. It was humiliating, and I'm sure I will never be able to show my face in Beverly Hills again. As we speak, my name is being spread around to neighboring communities and dealerships and they are all mocking me and laughing."

"Sorry." Jasper apologized. "I didn't mean that your car experience was unimportant, but in the grand schemes of your life, wouldn't you say that it's toward the bottom of the list if you were to write down all your problems?"

I shrugged half-heartedly and didn't look his way. I knew where he was going, but I wasn't about to open that can of worms.

"Bella. We all care deeply for you, but until you are ready to embrace the true reason for your pain, you'll never be able to feel better. You lost a father, and not just one, but two fathers, and sure, Charles wasn't the best, but he was still someone that you looked to and now your estrangement from him has to be taking its toll. Then you find out you had another father and he is gone as well. You lose your boyfriend, and I think losing the car is just one more thing you don't want to have to deal with. You keep spending money, not because you actually want all the things you buy, but because you are trying to fill the holes that your father, biological father, and now Edward have left you with. There is a healthier way to fill those holes, Bella, but you have to be willing and open to the idea."

Hearing Jasper bring up my father and…other father and Edward was horrible. I didn't come here to listen about them! Every single one of those men has left me and is responsible for this confusion that wouldn't leave my mind. I didn't want to think of them, and when I imagined what therapy would be like, I imagined that it would be like a jackhammer to my brain. Some doctor dude pounding into my head over and over again about the three and making me relive every nasty moment. I didn't want that.

I stood up from the couch and sighed without looking at Jasper.

"I'm sorry for waking you up."

I turned to leave, but Jasper caught up with me and headed me off at the door.

"You can't just run away every time you hear something you don't like. If you do…" He held out his hand and placed it on my chest, "…this will never feel right again. You deserve so much more than to let that happen."

I gave him a soft small smile and shook my head slowly.

"That's just it, I'm not sure that I do."

I stepped around him and left him behind me. What was I doing this time of the morning? I wasn't an earlier riser. Getting up with the sun never sounded like a bright idea so it was clear that sheer exhaustion was what brought me here. I returned home and fed my cat before stalking upstairs toward my bed. I just needed a really good sleep. Maybe if I slept for a week or so, I would be able to make intelligent decisions. But I wasn't allowed my week of sleep. Hell, I wasn't even allowed my full eight hours before my cell phone started ringing and a loud obnoxious banging happened on my door.

The phone was simple enough to deal with when I turned it to silent, but the banging was nonstop it was getting louder every second. Even Fluff n' Fold went beyond the call of duty to meow in my face with her kitty breath. I hobbled down the stairs with a horribly unattractive yawn and pulled my front door open.

"What…the…fuck!" I said before I even saw who was at my door. Thankfully it was only Rosalie so a "what the fuck" seemed like a proper greeting.

"About damn time. I've been down here for nearly twenty minutes." She waltzed into my foyer, clearly miffed.

"Well…you know, Rosalie, when someone doesn't answer your calls or the door, it usually means to leave them the fuck alone."

"Good thing that I don't allow anything to get in my way when I decide that I want it." She stated superiorly.

"How are you not a capitalist?" I shook my head and walked off toward the kitchen. Having no sleep and having to deal with Rosalie screamed like the proper time to invest in some coffee.

"You know, it's nearly two in the afternoon. What are you still doing in bed? Don't you have classes?" She pestered.

"I had a very rough night and then I spent my early morning bothering Jasper, but a lot of good that did me. So, sue me that I'm in bed at two o'clock or call me a vampire if that will make you happy, but just tell me already why you are blessing me with your presence so I can get back to my bed."

Rosalie thought about it for a minute while she looked around the room.

"And…what about classes?"

"What about them? I'm sure they don't need me there to commence." I huffed, knowing where this argument was heading to.

"You dropped out of school?" Rosalie asked softly.

"Teen pregnancy will do that to you." I quipped.

"Bella." Rosalie admonished, "You can't…you have to go. This is what you wanted."

I rolled my eyes and began to fill my cup with the hot joe. "Maybe…at one time, but I'm allowed to change, you know. I have the great luxury of doing whatever the hell I want. School just wasn't for me."

Rosalie sat back on her bar stool and sighed.

"He would be so disappointed." She said, looking up at me with her crystal blue eyes.

Her statement made my blood boil. "I don't give a fuck what Edward would be and he obviously feels the same about me."

"Not Edward." She replied without blinking. "Your grandfather."

"He didn't care what I did with my life. He told me I could do whatever I wanted." I snapped.

"That's because he thought you would actually do something with your life. Bella, you have managed to screw up your life in every single way possible."

"Fuck you, Rosalie! It must be nice to have everything all figured out. To have found the one who you want to spend the rest of your life with and he the same with you. To have a job that's rewarding and be perfect in every single way."

"I'm not perfect and I don't get everything that I want, but that doesn't mean that I stop trying to make every single day better than my last. If something gives up on me, I don't give up on it. If I want something, I go after it."

"Sure you do." I rolled my eyes. "What the hell do you have to go after? Your life is perfect as is."

"You don't know the first thing about me, Bella Swan. You think you're the only person who has to suffer. You have no idea the amount of suffering I go through every single day. You know, I can't have kids. I can't have a baby. The one thing I wanted more than anything on this planet and I was the one cursed with infertility. Do you even have any idea how that makes me feel? To know that I can never give Emmett a child."

My face softened as I watched Rosalie's angry tears roll down her face.

"I…had no idea. You never said anything." I whispered.

"Maybe that's because I don't make everything about me." She replied.

I swallowed before reaching for another coffee mug and pouring some coffee into it, slowly sliding it toward her. I thought back to our fight that we had when we went to New Zealand and her screaming at me about how amazing babies were. Suddenly, her defensiveness made sense.

"Bella. Life isn't easy. It doesn't matter how much money you have or what job you have. Every person has problems. There isn't anyone exempt from pain or suffering. But, if you manage to make it through the pain and suffering, you will have a whole wide world full of opportunities. Emmett and I can't have children, and for a really long time, I felt like a failure, but I can still be a mom. We've been looking into surrogacy and adoption. It doesn't completely take the pain away, but I know that when we finally do have that baby, it will be worth everything I went through. I know that it seems impossible right now that you could ever be happy again, but when you finally do find that person again, or even if Edward and you get back together someday, all of this pain you had to go through will feel like a badge of honor."

I sighed and stared down into my cup while I allowed her words to sink in.

"I keep telling myself to get the fuck over it. That Edward and I were never meant to be so just move on, Bella, but I can't. It starts to hurt so much that I have to find something to distract myself. So I go and buy new dresses and cars and then get people fired. It's all a big distraction."

"But, you turned the car back in." Rosalie noted.

"Yeah and I got a huge restocking fee to add onto everything else. I don't know how we will ever make the money back."

"Oh, I think Angela will work her magic. You'd be surprise what that girl can do. Which is why I am here." She bit her lip and I pulled back, wondering where she was going.

"Angela told me the carnival idea and how you want to have a pie eating contest. She didn't really know why you wanted to have a pie eating contest, but she has been coming up with ways to make the most money out of the event. Of course, I know why, and it reminded me that I am your life list coach, so I am here to offer my services."

"And you just really want to see me make an ass out of myself, smeared in pie."

"Oh, Bella…I've already seen you make an ass out of yourself."

With Rosalie on board, and of course, Alice, we all met up at my house in the evenings to put together one epic sized carnival. Angela had been dealing with vendors to ensure we had the proper carnival food lined up. Alice was designing the invitations and compiling a list of our more affluent friends and clients, and when she went to Esme to load up her list with money making whales, Esme signed on as well.

Emmett and Jasper managed to get a bunch of their friends to move my stuff out of the small old house I once had, so my brother could put it up for sale. Thankfully, the property sold quickly and for much more money than we paid for it. I couldn't even begin to imagine if Michael would have made me pay the difference as well.

Things were going great. The Carnival was set to go off toward the end of February, and so far, there were no problems except for one. I had yet to fulfill my end of the bargain and seek counselling. It was still not something that I was looking forward to and I tried to hold it off for as long as possible. I figured that it could wait until we got closer to the Carnival. Michael said I had to see a therapist, he didn't say I had to be cured in order to get back my charitable contributions department.

But as the days passed and my mind was focused on the big charity carnival, I felt more and more healed from the Edward situation. Maybe what they said was true, time heals all wounds or whatever the fuck it is. I finally felt like my life was getting back on track, so maybe I didn't need to see a therapist after all.

"So, where are we with the games?" Angela asked.

"We have ten different games and all the materials for the games. I talked to a plushy distributer and managed to get them to donate a lot of stuffed toys and other prizes." Alice informed.

"Okay, well then, I guess we should be all ready to go on Saturday. I talked to a local bakery and they are going to donate all of the pies." Angela said.

"How, again. is this pie eating contest going to work?" Esme asked.

"It's actually very ingenious." Rosalie said.

"We are going to put all the pies on a table on the stage. We will have a bidding sheet under each pie. People will go up and put their name down and top the last bid, and whoever has the highest bid in the end will win the pie." Angela explained.

"So, people are going to bid to be in the pie eating contest?" Esme asked.

"No, they are going to bid to win the pie. They will then designate a person to take their place and be in the pie eating contest. The best part is, if you win a bid, you are automatically saved from having to participate in the contest, so people who have a lot of cash but don't want to be called out and smeared with a pie will donate more." Alice cheered.

"Also, if someone is chosen, but doesn't want to participate, they can buy their way out and save themselves, and remember, this is for charity so I doubt any of these Richie Riches will say no to that." Rosalie added.

"I'm just hoping that my brother will bid on a pie and then designate me to go in. I have to get on that stage and participate." I said.

"Don't worry, Bella. I'm sure someone will be kind enough to help you out there." Alice said.

After a few more topics on the carnival, the girls began to leave my house for the evening. Alice hung back and I could tell she needed to talk to me about something. Even though it had been almost a month since I saw Edward, I wanted so badly to ask her about him. But, I didn't.

"Jasper, wanted me to give you this." Alice handed me a card. "He wants you to know that he's sorry and hopes that you'll understand."

On the business card was written a name and phone number.

"Dr. Marvin Kent." I said aloud.

I sighed and slowly walked back to my couch before plopping.

"Are you going to call him?" She asked.

"I don't want to." I paused for a minute. "But I have to, right?"

Alice gave me a small smile.

"I could go with you and wait in the waiting room for you." She offered.

Don't ask about Edward!

Don't ask about Edward!

"No, it's okay. I…Jasper said I didn't have to talk about anything I didn't want to and that is exactly what I am going to do. I will talk only about silly topics and nothing important. I just have to show I'm going for Angela to get her department back."

Alice bit her lip to keep from saying something that I was sure would upset me. Instead, she turned toward the door and began to walk toward it.

"Okay…I guess I will see you on the big day. I can't wait to see how this carnival will turn out. I think we are going to raise a lot of money."

It was unusual for Alice to not speak her mind. Turning to the carnival for conversation was exceptionally unusual, because I knew she wanted to say more on the doctor dude topic.

"Uh…yeah…sure."

I didn't know how to respond and I hated that she was going to leave me there thinking about what she said for the rest of the night. I tried to focus on the carnival, but many nasty thoughts wanted to invade my mind. In fact, those thoughts stayed with me all the way to the day of the carnival. I had tucked the shrink's business card into a zipper on my purse and tried not to think of it, but I knew that it was there calling me.

When I arrived at the carnival, it was like I was transported into a completely different world. Angela had taken over one of the main parking lots at the Swan Enterprises campus and transformed it. When I arrived, there were already a lot of people walking around and partaking in the day's festivities. I greeted a few people as I passed to get toward the stage where I knew the planning committee would be.

The day turned out to be perfect. Not too cold, but not scorching either. I saw Angela on her walkie talkie giving out orders and Rosalie manning the pie eating contest auction.

"Hey, guys. My god, this turned out fabulous." I complimented Angela.

"And we did it on marginal costs. I've already projected that if we keep doing this well the rest of the day, we will have made back your expense plus thirty percent." She practically shrieked in excitement.

"Well, I'm glad. Sorry you had to work so hard to get your job back." I said.

"Don't be! This has been such a great experience and fundraiser; I want to turn it into an annual thing." Angela looked around my head, "Oh, I have to go! They are moving the cotton candy cart after I told them not to."

She left and I looked around to catch a familiar face. I caught one all right.

"Hey, sis."

"Michael." I stated flatly.

"Are you still mad at me? Look what you have done, Bella. This is an amazing achievement. You should be very proud."

"Angela did this."

"From what I heard, you haven't exactly been a slouch."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I moved out of my house and Angela is projecting big numbers to cover my debt and then some."

"And the therapist?"

"On it!" I pulled the business card from out of my purse pocket, "Have an appointment all lined up."

Of course, I was lying, but I wasn't about to deal with that argument if I had told him the truth.

"Great! Well, I guess I will be off to find the messiest pie to bid on. I hear I get to decide who has to eat it."

I sighed, "I take it that Angela told you."

"Of course, and I want to do everything I can to support you, little sis."

He walked off toward the pies and began appraising each one for their content. I stood there with my arms folded across my chest and wondered if the hot pink Calvin Klein I had decided to wear was a good choice to ruin for this occasion. My eyes scanned the crowd absently and I saw Alice standing near a food truck with Jasper. I could see them talking with great big smiles on their faces as I began to walk over toward them.

My heart stopped the same moment that my Kate Spade stiletto came to a halt. Alice and Jasper were talking to Edward.

Edward was here at my charity event.

Edward was here!

I looked at the entire situation and my heart picked back up and raced overtime.

Edward was here, and he wasn't alone.

AN: thank you for reading and reviewing! I am so happy for your continued support of this story. Thank you! Also I want to thank all of you who went and checked out my new story The Governess. I know it's a little different than this but I appreciate the loyalty.

Thank you soo much to Robstenvampgirl and your work on these stories!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.