Renew: Syllabification: re·new Verb.1.3) To give fresh life or strength to. Example: she would face the future with renewed determination.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Packing after an interaction with Edward was probably not as successful as it could have been. Of course I took a shower to clean myself up from the pie but after that, I stared at my empty suitcase thinking about Edward's cryptic words to me. I spent the whole shower thinking about them and I was still unable to move on past it. I had half a mind to call his no good ass up and demand a translation.

"Keep this simple, Bella. Focus on the clothes. Where do you plan on going? What should you wear when you get there?"

That was my problem. I didn't know where I was going so I couldn't focus on what to pack. I slowly moved toward my closet hoping to find inspiration. Maybe an outfit would scream out at me and give me some direction.

I reached the closet doorway and sighed.

The doorbell rang and I practically did a side kick in the air to rush off to answer it, thankful for the distraction.

"Ugh." I huffed seeing my brother standing before me. "What do you want?"

Michael walked in without invitation still dressed as he was a few hours before.

"Well, I spent a pretty penny on a pie and then there was no one for me to appoint to compete."

"So, let me guess, you plan to tact that onto my outstanding debt as well."

Michael furrowed his brow and gave a small smirk.

"No, little sis. I was worried about you. I knew how much this contest meant to you so I figured something must have happened to cause your absence."

I folded my arms across my chest.

"I was upset," I shrugged and then turned to walk toward my kitchen. "Edward showed up and I wasn't expecting him to bring a date. It was hard for me."

"A date?" He questioned.

"Yeah, some legging redhead but he swears nothing is going on there but…"

"You're not so sure."

"Who knows? Anyway, I went and saw that head doctor and I had a session."

Michael paused his pacing and looked over to me.

"Do you feel better?" He asked cautiously.

"Better? He's not the miracle worker. I guess it takes time so…no I don't feel better but he told me I should get away for awhile. Get away from everyone and try and find some kind of clarity. Only problem is, I have no clue where to go. And I'm sure you'll charge me for whatever I decide to do…"

"No. I won't," Michael said calculated. "Your accounts…are yours to use how you see fit. But I warn you that if you should deplete them, you will have no choice but to sell the company to get any more funds and if you should deplete that, then you really will have nothing."

"But…what about before. What about that money you made me put back or else the Charitable Contributions department would get disbanded?"

Once again Michael gave his cheating smile. He began to wring his hands before he could find the words for an explanation.

"I may have fudged some of the details I gave you."

I walked over to him and tighten my hands into fists.

"What details?" I spit.

Michael thought about it for a minute. He bit his lip and finally looked me in the eye.

"The money you spent…wasn't exactly tied to the company. It came from your personal accounts. I wanted to see if you had returned to the old Bella so I told you that the consequences were a result of your spending. I knew that if you weren't the old Bella, you would do the right thing."

"You fired Angela and all those people because you wanted to see if I had a CONSCIENCE?" I screamed.

"I knew you were hurting but when you came back to this house so easily and then started with the spending…I was worried, Bella."

"Get the fuck out of my house," I spit.

"Bella."

"I mean it Michael! GET OUT!"

Michael sighed and he nodded curtly. He turned to walk back toward my front door and I had half a mind to throw something sharp and heavy at his head.

"The company plane is on standby if you should pick a destination," He said while he walked toward the door.

I sat down on the bar stool unable to fathom what I had just learned. How could my life be any more of a mess? How was it even possible?

The only bright thing that Michael's visit did was get my mind off Edward for the time it took for me to decide where my exile should be. I wanted to go somewhere far away. Somewhere that didn't remind me of my life the mess or of the stupid list I had been trying to complete. But where could that possibly be?

My cat rubbed up against my leg and it occurred to me that if I did go out of the country, I couldn't take Fluff n' Fold with me. It would require too much paperwork. I would need to leave her with someone for the time being. Problem was, I didn't want to go and burden anyone at the moment with my cat. Then that would lead to questions, questions that I didn't have the answers to.

I finally decided that to leave my cat in the hands of someone I trusted. Plus, I knew that Angela wouldn't press me on details for my unplanned vacay like Alice or Rosalie. I was planning on dropping the little house guest off on my way to the airport. Which brought me back to what to pack?

Europe was the obvious place but since Edward, there were a lot of countries that would remind me of him so it narrowed down the list considerably. I walked around my room trying to find an ounce of inspiration to hit me and flopped down in my chair feeling thoroughly defeated. My hand ran down my face as I stared off mindlessly.

My vision came slowly into focus on a set of DVD's that I had sitting next to my television and like a meteor came flying down and hit me in the head, it finally occurred to me where I should go. I had been to Italy before for Milan's fashion week but never ventured off to any other city. My copy of Under the Tuscan Sun stared at me from the shelf. I stood up and grabbed the DVD and it fit like a puzzle piece. Just like Diane Lane, I too was lost and searching for something. I could be Diane Lane and go and live in Tuscany while my head shrank itself.

I ran over to my closet, invigorated with my new plan and began to throw things into my suitcase haphazardly. In Under the Tuscan Sun, people were free to dance in fountains and be praised for it. In Under the Tuscan Sun, you were free to make many mistakes and still rise above. This was a fool proof plan!

I called my car service and sent the plane people the destination. I arrived at Angela's around ten p.m. and caught her asleep.

"I'm really sorry about this. I know you had a long day but I need a huge favor."

Angela scratched her head while her eyes struggled to open fully.

"Are you okay? We were all worried."

"Uh…yeah. I'm fine…I guess as fine as I could ever be. I had forgotten about a doctor's appointment so I slipped out. But um…can you watch my cat? He's very low maintenance and I brought everything you could need. I have to leave the country for a little while so…"

"Leave the country?" She asked finally waking up.

"Doctor's orders," I stated. "Please don't ask too many questions. This is something I have to do."

She appraised me and sighed.

"Okay." She nodded her head, "Sure, bring him in."

I ran back to the car and asked the valet to help with the box of things that Fluff would need. I handed off my cat after giving him one last scrunch and kiss. I looked up to Angela's confused and worried eyes.

"I'll be fine. I think I'll be fine."

Angela wanted to say something but stopped herself.

"I'm sure you will but…email me?"

I nodded and turned to head back to the car. I watched as Los Angeles passed me by. I was scared. I was excited and I was alone. Something that I should have been used to but this was something entirely different. I was going to a foreign land by myself. Who knows what would be awaiting me.

My plane touched down and even though I was able to sleep fairly well, nothing could have prepared me for Italy. Two words. Language barrier. I carted my suitcases on a trolley but I hadn't really thought this far ahead. What was I supposed to do now? In the movie, Diane was on a bus tour but I didn't want to ride some smelly bus just to find an open villa. The best idea for now was to head to a hotel and make out a game plan.

I was in Florence and didn't have clue one for a hotel. Was there such a thing as a Four Seasons in Italy? After locating a taxi stand I wasn't of much use for the poor driver.

"Uh…nice hotel!" I cringed wondering if he understood me. I pulled out my wallet and waved some Euros and pantomimed sleeping. The cab driver gave me a look and then walked around me to grab my suitcase. He tossed it into the back of his cab and I took that as a sign that I could proceed.

I looked around as he drove toward the heart of Florence. I had no idea where this man would end up taking me. Hopefully somewhere safe. It was the first time that it occurred to me that perhaps my whole vision for this trip wasn't exactly the epitome of safety but without Edward in my ear constantly badgering me on such things, I was determined to do this on my own!

We arrived at a nice hotel. I was greeted by doormen opening my doors and bellboys rushing to collect my belongings. It was a really nice hotel. I walked in and crystal chandeliers hung from the high ceilings. Italian artwork adorned the walls and marble lay on the ground below me. Normally, this sort of place would be right up my ally but Michael's words of wisdom on financial responsibility rolled around in my head.

"But I warn you that if you should deplete them, you will have no choice but to sell the company to get any more funds and if you should deplete that, then you really will have nothing."

The room was over eight-hundred Euros a night.

I sat in my comfy new suite as that number rolled around in my head. I would definitely need to change venues soon! First order of business was to find a new location to live in while I was here. The first problem for me was I didn't really know how much I had in my accounts. Maybe if Michael would tell me what was there, then I would be able to determine how best to spend my money. With a quick call to Michael which turned out to be painful since he reiterated over and over that just because the number sounds large, doesn't mean it won't go fast. Of course being the head of the company, even in namesake did allow for some type of annual salary.

The number did make me feel a little better about my current living situation but the whole point for me coming on this vision quest was to find myself and I wasn't going to do that while staying in some swanky overpriced hotel. Even though I was tired, I knew I needed to stay awake as long as possible to overcome jet lag. I popped down the steps and the hotel had a private car waiting to take me wherever I wished to go. Only problem was, I didn't know where to go.

"Uh…someplace fun and…cultural."

"There is the San Lorenzo Market. A lot of people find that interesting, Miss."

"Sounds great!" I agreed.

I didn't know what to expect but I pictured some kind of supermarket but while driving toward our destination, I realized that this place probably didn't have supermarkets. I couldn't imagine with all the long-standing architecture that a Whole Foods would pop up in the middle.

The driver said he would be back for me in two hours. The market place that he dropped me off at was far better than anything I could have thought up. It was all open air with people selling everything from leather goods to nuts. It was a shopper's paradise but everything was fairly cheap so I didn't feel so guilty when I pulled out my money. After several purchases including a new leather bound journal, I sat down at a cafe and shared an Italian coffee with my fellow travelers. I was absolutely fascinated by the people in the market place. It was the first time in a long time that I felt my head beginning to clear.

There were no thoughts to be had on Edward and his cryptic message. No thoughts on the list that had plagued me. Not even a thought on my messed up life. Here, I was free to leave everything behind me. Not a single person knew who I was or what I had done.

I left the market place with my bags in hand and a scoop of the most fuck awesome gelato ever. I returned to the hotel and it became abundantly clear that this was not where I was supposed to be. I needed to make two phone calls.

"Concierge. How may we help you Miss Swan."

"Yes, I was wondering if you could put me in touch with someone who does real estate in Tuscany. I wish to meet with them tomorrow to find a…vacation home."

"Absolutely. I will put a call out to Anthony Angotti. He is the best in the area."

"Much appreciated."

One call down. The easy call to make. Call number two, I imagined wouldn't go as easy.

"Have you been accosted by any Italian men yet, little sis?" Michael's charming voice answered.

"No, "I huffed with the shake of my head. A few men looked my direction but I paid no attention to it. "Look, I have only been here a hand full of hours and maybe it's the jet lag speaking but, I think I am ready to move on with my life."

"Move on?" He questioned.

"I'm going to Under the Tuscan Sun myself and move to Italy. I'm going house hunting in the morning. I thought I should let you know that you are free to put my house back on market or use it for Swan Enterprises house parties…"

"WHOA! Wait a minute. Do you realize how crazy you sound? You've only been there like for five hours and you want to move?"

I sighed and played with the pad of paper by the phone.

"I know what I want now. I want a fresh start and I want something easy this time around. I don't want to be bogged down by my past any longer. I want a new beginning."

"Stay there as long as you like but moving there is irrational. At least speak to your psychiatrist before you definitively decide anything. I know how much you love to run away from your problems but that's the problem, Bella, you can't always run far enough, even if it is in Italy."

I chewed on my lip hating his words. I didn't want him to ruin this for me. I knew it would be hard to make him see reason.

"I've already set up an appointment for the morning. I just thought I would let you know. I know how much I have in my accounts and I will make sure that the house I buy isn't too pricey, so I'll figure something out. I know that you're probably standing there in dad's old office thinking about the latest crap your sister is getting into now but please…please would you let me go. Allow me to go and find my own resolutions to the mistakes I may make? You've always taken care of me in your own weird way but now, it's my turn to take care of me. I need this, Michael. I need a new beginning."

He sighed into the phone but didn't say anything back for a few seconds.

"Please just talk to your doctor. At the very least. I don't agree with what you're doing mostly because I don't think you have clue one of what you're getting yourself into and you're a young woman in a foreign place. Please take care of yourself and try not to do anything unsafe."

I waited for a few seconds.

"I love you too, Michael."

I hung up the phone and stared out the window of my suite. I knew that what I was doing was every bit as crazy as Diane Lane. She didn't exactly have support either but she made it work and that was what I was going to do, make it work, like my old trusty friend Tim Gunn would say.

Tomorrow, I would find my new home. Tomorrow, I would finally start to live my life the right way. The feeling that ran throughout my body was sheer excitement mixed with terror. It was the proper feeling any person ever felt when starting a new endeavor.

I flipped on the television and absently went through the channels.

This was a good thing!

This was a very good thing!

Geez, didn't this T.V. get any American channels?

AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Till next time. Thank you!

Disclaimer: Story is mine. Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.