Author's Note: Sorry it's been a while again. I haven't been in the mood to work on any of my projects for the last few weeks. Sadly I found out that my cancer has returned and I have been doing nothing but moping. Only good news is that it's not as bad as it was before and will be easier to handle this time around. Also sitting in the room during chemo treatments is going to give me a lot of down time with my computer... so... yeah. Hopefully this will get done soon. Gotta find the silver lining in every cloud I guess. Trying to stay in good spirits here, if nothing else, for my kids.

Thank you all so much for all the love and support I have received for this story. It really makes my day to find a new review or a new follower. You guys are amazing and awesome!

Shoutouts: brankel1- I was tempted to let Jason and Tommy kick the lawyers butt, very tempted, but decided they would take the higher road and just protect Kat. Sometimes I really hate lawyers, they're merciless and hell bent on winning their case no matter what it may cost others. Glad to see you are still following my story!

Ghostwriter- I agree, I love how supportive and protective Jason is toward Kat. She needs someone like him. But yes, I foresee a small breakdown for Jason, occurring just under my ramblings here. It's not bad, but it's showing the cracks in his armor. There is only so much a person can take. I really need to stop being so mean to my favorite characters. LOL Poor poor rangers.

Jeremy Shane- Thanks for reviewing and sticking with my story. Here's more for you!

FunnelCakes- Thank you so much for adding me to your author alerts! As a writer it means a great deal to me that people are following me and enjoying what I write.

nyenastein- Welcome to the club here and thank you so much for adding this story your alerts. I hope that you continue to enjoy the ride!

Titanium Gold- Thank you for following my story. I'm really quite enjoying this story and watching it unfold and finding out how everyone is reacting to this story. I love finding a new email stating a new follower, so Thanks again! Enjoy!

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Chapter 43

Right, left, right, breath. Right, left, right, breath. Jason repeated the mantra to himself as he slammed his fists into the large punching bag. Right, left, right, breath. Right, left, right, breath. He repeated again. The steady rhythm of his fists and body calming his mind, blocking out his problems for the moment.

In the week since the trial, Kat had pulled further away from him. Not just him, but Lilly too. It was how Lilly reacted that hurt Jason the most. Lilly had been sitting in the empty studio room, crying, after school. Katherine had helped Lilly practice her audition piece for the solo in her Christmas ballet. Lilly had landed the part, and Kat had promised to help her learn the routine, but now Kat hardly left the bedroom. She spent all day in bed either sleeping or staring at the wall. She wouldn't Jason even touch her to offer her comfort. She even went as far as to move out of the room after Jason had gone to bed more than once.

After finding Lilly in the studio, Jason had tried to confront Kat. It hadn't gone well, leaving her in tears and him fuming. He'd packed up Lilly and took her over to Adam and Trini's to play with the twins and Lucy. Then he'd gone to Adam and Rocky's dojo, where he was currently, and began working out to burn off his anger and frustration.

` "You have to come out of this room sometime Kat." He'd nearly growled at her.

Punch.

"You don't understand Jason." Her voice was so broken and quiet.

Punch.

"I'm here Kat, just talk to me. Don't push me away!" He'd begged.

Punch.

"I'm already gone." She whispered so quietly he'd almost not heard her. His heart broke and he left her sitting on the bed staring blankly at the wall.

Punch.

"Jason?" a voice called from behind him. Jason nearly jumped, thinking that he'd been alone. He whirled around in a defensive position to find Adam standing a few feet behind him with a worried look.

"Adam, what are you doing here?"

"You left my house pretty upset and Rocky said you'd been here for the last two hours beating that bag up. Something you want to talk about?"

"Nothing you can help with." Jason shook his head before sliding to the ground against a wall.

"Lilly said that Kat hasn't come out of your room." Adam moved over next Jason.

"She hasn't eaten hardly anything, even if I bring her something. She just nibbles at what I set in front of her. She won't talk to me. She hardly even looks at me." Jason crossed his arms on his knees and put his chin on his forearms. "I have no idea what I can do for her. Even worse, I don't think there is anything I can do. I'm helpless and powerless. Kat's fighting so many demons right now, and I can't do anything."

"I know this is rough man." Adam nodded.

"I'm loosing her Adam." Jason admitted softly.

"Can't her psychologist do something?"

"Not unless Kat helps herself by opening up to him." Jason shook his head. "No one knows what to do."

"Tanya is her best friend..."

"She's already tried to talk to her." Jason cut him off. "Her mother has tried to talk to her, Russ has tried to talk to her, Kimberly has tried to talk to her, Tommy has tried to talk to her."

"Damn." Adam muttered, his hope deflating instantly.

"Yeah, damn." Jason nodded.

"Any word on the trial?"

"Jury's still out. Russ promised to call as soon as they came back. I've been making sure to keep Kat away from it."

"I can imagine." Adam commented. Both men fell silent as they just sat against the wall staring across the room. Finally Adam spoke, breaking into the silence. "Tommy says you want to take her to Australia."

"I was thinking for Christmas. We can leave when Lilly gets out of school and be back right after the new year."

"I think she'll like that. Maybe a change in scenery will help."

"That's what I'm hoping."

"Do you want to spar?"

"Yeah." Jason laughed. "I have a lot of tension to work out."

"Let me go change, I'll be right back." Adam grinned. "Just keep in mind, I'm not Tommy."

"And I'm not Rocky." Jason returned his friend's grin. His first genuine smile in a week.

Two hours later, covered in sweat and nearly exhausted, Jason made his way home with Lilly and Chinese takeout for a late dinner. Jason set the food out on the counter to start dishing it up as Lilly set the table for three.

"Lilly, can you go tell Kat that dinner's ready? Tell her I got sweet and sour pork for her."

"Okay Daddy." Lilly nodded and rushed up the stairs. Jason set Kat's plate down in her place at the table and then proceeded to fix Lilly's plate. He heard Lilly's footsteps rushing back to him, but no footsteps behind her. He shook his head realizing that Kat probably had refused to come down once more.

"Did she say no again?" Jason asked his daughter as she entered the kitchen.

"She's not there Daddy." Lilly cried, panic evident in her young voice.

"What?" Jason whirled around to look at her.

"Kat's not there. I checked your bathroom too. She's gone." Lilly said, tears filling her big brown eyes. "Where'd she go?"

"Sit down and eat Lilly-pad. I'll go check the rest of the house. Her car is still in the driveway."

"Maybe she's in the studio." Lilly said hopefully as she slid into her chair.

"I'll go look." Jason nodded, trying to fight back the wave of panic settling into his chest. He made his way down to the basement and checked the studio, no luck. He checked the office that was downstairs as well. She wasn't there.

He moved back up the main floor, checking all the rooms there. Then moved up stairs. Kat wasn't anywhere in the house.

"Where is she Daddy?" Lilly asked as he walked back into the kitchen.

"I don't know Lilly." Jason shook his head. "I'm going to check the backyard. Keep eating."

"Find her Daddy." Lilly nodded.

"I will baby." Jason replied as he walked out the patio door. He walked around the yard, but no Kat. She wasn't anywhere at their house. 'I'm already gone.' Kat's earlier words echoed in his mind. No! No! She didn't leave me! She wouldn't, she couldn't... No! Jason shook his head vigorously before dashing back into the house, past his stunned daughter and up the stairs. He pulled open the first drawer he could reach, finding Kat's clothes still there. Her wallet even still sat on the nightstand. Where the hell is she?

He couldn't fight the panic anymore. His heart hammered against his chest as adrenaline coursed through his body. He quickly took his cell phone out of his pocket, pulling up Adam's number first.

"Hey Jase, what's up?" Adam greeted.

"Kat's gone!"

"What?"

"All her stuff is still here, her car is here, her wallet it here, but Kat's gone. She's no where to be found in my house. I don't know where she is."

"Okay, calm down Jase. We'll find her. I'll call Rocky and send Trini over to get Lilly. We'll get a search party out. Without her car, she can't be too far away."

"Where could she have gone Adam? I just... Where is she?"

"I don't know Jase, just try not to loose your mind. I'll be right there."

"Thanks man."

"Kat's my friend too, no thanks needed." Adam replied. "See you soon."

"Okay." Jason sighed. He hung up the phone and went back downstairs. Lilly was standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him. "Lilly, I need you to go pack and overnight bag. You're going back to Adam and Trini's."

"Are you going to go look for Kat?"

"Yes." Jason nodded. "I'll bring her home."

Lilly remained silent, but gave her father a single nod before slowly going up the stairs to pack her bag. It didn't take long before Adam and Rocky showed up. Trini had stayed in the car with her three children, waiting for Lilly. Jason gave Lilly a kiss and hug, promising once more to bring Kat home.

"I called Tommy already." Adam said as the men began planning on where to go.

"I'm guessing he's on his way."

"Of course." Adam nodded. "Anna too."

"Tommy's got a key to my house. He can drop Anna off and join the search. I called Tom, he's already out there looking along with a few off duty cops. They'll call me if they find her."

"The more we get searching for her, the faster we'll find her." Rocky agreed.

"I'll head downtown." Adam said.

"I'll go toward the bluffs." Rocky commented.

"I'll head toward the park and school."

"Converge at the beach." Adam added.

"Exactly." Jason nodded. "Keep your cell phones on, call if you find anything."

"On it." Rocky held up his phone before putting it in his jacket pocket.

"I hope that she at least put a jacket on. It's pretty chilly out there." Adam sighed with a shake of his head.

"I know." Jason ran a hand through his hair. "I miss the old Kat. She's changed so much."

"You can't blame her though. She's been through a lot this year." Rocky argued.

"I know."

"Let's get going." Adam ordered as he opened the front door. The other two men followed out and got into their respective vehicles, heading off in the direction that they'd claimed earlier.

Jason made a very slow loop around the park, but spotted no sign of Katherine. He parked his truck and walked through the park, thinking she might have been closer to the center, but no luck. Sadly he trudged his way back to his truck just as his cell phone rang.

He pulled it out quickly, hope filling his chest. "Hello?" He answered without bothering to see who had called him.

"Hey Jase. I just dropped Anna off at your house. Where do you want me to look?" Tommy said.

"Start heading to the beach or anywhere you know that Kat might have gone to clear her head."

"She always liked the bluffs."

"Rocky's up there already."

"I know a spot, I'll check there then head to the beach." Tommy replied

"She was so upset Tommy. I shouldn't have left her alone. She..." Jason paused mid-sentence as an idea struck him. "I think I know where she is." He said quickly and ended the phone call before dashing the last few yards to his truck.

He roared the engine to life and took off at an almost illegal speed. Down the winding streets, past the stores, past the big church, to the cemetery. He pulled his truck up under a large willow tree and got out.

His heart sank to his toes when he realized there was no one there. He nearly fell to his knees in front of the small grave as tears stung his eyes. His head fell as he reached a hand out to trace Charlie's name.

"Where is she Charlie? Help me." He whispered before falling silent.

"I see you had the same idea." Tommy said behind him after a few moments. Jason looked up at his best friend.

"Yeah." Jason nodded. "But she's not here."

"You going to be okay?" Tommy asked quietly as he knelt on the ground next to Jason.

"I don't think so." Jason shook his head. "What if we can't find her?"

"We will." Tommy said with determination. "She didn't just disappear."

"But she did after Charlie died." Jason protested.

"She didn't do it this time." Tommy tried to reassure his friend. "We should keep looking."

"I know." Jason nodded. The two men stood up and started back toward their vehicles. Jason glanced back at Charlie's grave one last time before climbing into his truck and starting it once more. Tommy pulled around in front of him and started back out onto the road, but Jason didn't budge.

He turned off the truck again, just as Tommy pulled onto the road. Jason got back out of his truck and walked the opposite direction from Charlie's grave. Darkness seemed to wrap around him as he moved further away from the lights of his truck. His cell phone rang in his pocket, but he ignored it as he continued to walk through the dark graveyard his eyes fixed firmly ahead even though he couldn't see anything.

His eyes began to adjust to the dim light from the moon and he was able to make out the shapes of headstones and statues, all familiar to him. Finally he stood only a few feet from his ex-wife's grave. Sitting with her back against the smooth surface was a tall, lean blonde woman.

"Kat." He whispered as he rushed over to her. His hands gripped her shoulders as he knelt in front of her. "Kat." He said for forcefully. Slowly she opened her eyes to look at him.

"Jason?" she rasped out, her voice low and hoarse. Her skin was pale and cold.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded as he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"I... I don't know." She shook her head.

"Do you know where you are?"

"No." Kat shook her head again.

"God, Kat, you had me so scared." Jason nearly cried as he hugged her to him and successfully got her to her feet.

"The cemetery?" Kat whispered as she looked around at her surroundings.

"You seriously had no idea you were here?" Jason glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes as he guided her toward his truck.

"No." She replied.

"That's not a good sign Kat." Jason sighed. "You're blacking out now."

"I... I..." Kat stammered, unsure of what to say.

"Do you know how many people are out looking for you right now?"

"You had people looking for me?"

"Of course Kat. I had to find you." Jason hugged her closer to him. "I'm so sorry for this morning."

"No, it's me who should be sorry." Kat admitted. "I... I have been so locked into my own problems... I forgot about you guys."

"Kat, it's..."

"Don't tell me it's alright Jason." Kat cut him off as she stopped moving. Jason stopped as well and turned to look her in the eyes. "It's not. You and Lilly are victims in this too and I'm making it worse."

"No, no you're not."

"I am. I've broken promises to both you and Lilly. I keep shoving you away and all you want to do is help me. I know you're getting frustrated with me. I'm so sorry Jason." She finally let the tears fall again.

"We'll get through this Kat." Jason placed his hands on either side of her freezing cold face. "I love you, and I won't give up on you. No matter how frustrated I get, I will always come back."

"I don't deserve you." Kat gave him a sad smile.

"Yes you do Kat." Jason argued with a smile. "You deserve more than just me. You deserve the moon on a string and the world on a platter after everything that you've been through. I wish I could give it all to you."

"Thank you Jason." Kat said softly. Jason nodded slowly before pressing his lips to hers for the first time in over a week. Funny how that short amount of time had made him miss her so badly. How he had craved her taste on his lips.

"Let's get you home and warmed up. You're freezing." Jason said after he broke their kiss. Kat simply nodded and let him guide her to the waiting truck. As they started back toward his house, Jason called everyone one by one to call off the search.

Tommy was already at his house when Jason and Kat arrived home. He and Anna were sitting in the livingroom. Tommy stood up and rushed over to hug Kat.

"I was so worried about you." He said against her ear as he held her tightly.

"I didn't mean to scare everyone." Kat replied.

"Here, this should help warm you." Anna smiled as she handed Kat a cup of hot tea. "Tommy already fixed it the way you like your tea. I thought it was a little late for coffee."

"Thank you Anna." Kat returned the younger woman's smile as she took the mug. She followed behind Jason and sat on the couch with him. Jason wrapped an arm around her shoulder still clad in his jacket. It was then he noticed Kat's phone sitting on the coffee table blinking. He let go of Kat and reached for it to hand it to her.

"You must have a message." He offered it out to her.

"I do?" Kat questioned as she took the phone from him. She seemed to freeze midair as her eyes grew wide. "I remember now."

"Remember what?"

"Russ called me." Kat replied as she stared at the small object in her hand.

"Russ called?" Jason gulped, he knew what that meant. The jury had come back with their decision. Now he was even madder at himself for not being there with Kat. "What's the verdict?"

"Guilty on the obstruction. Not guilty on accessory." Kat lowered her hands into her lap as he thumb idly rubbed the face of her phone.

"That's good, it's what we were hoping for." Jason said slowly.

"Yeah." Kat replied even slower. "Russ said he'd let me know when they are going to sentence her." Silence filled the room, no one sure of what to say.

"Well, I think I'm heading to bed." Anna finally said as she moved herself to the edge of the chair. Already her belly was too swollen for her to stand up easily. Tommy stood up quickly and offered her a hand. "Thank you Tommy."

"Of course." He smiled at his wife.

"Night." Anna waved to Jason and Kat before going down the hall to the spare bedroom.

"Good night Anna." Kat gave her a small smile, the most emotion she'd shown in a week.

"I should get to bed too." Tommy shrugged.

"Thanks for coming to my rescue again." Kat sadly laughed. "You and Anna have to keep driving up and down the road for me."

"You're worth it." Tommy grinned at her. "But Anna and I have been talking about that. We keep coming back here all the time, so we're thinking about moving here this summer."

"That would be awesome bro." Jason grinned.

"Of course it all depends on there being job openings, at least for just me. If Anna has to stay home for a bit I don't mind."

"Have you guys finally decided on a name?" Jason laughed.

"No." Tommy shook his head.

"You've got what... nine weeks left?"

"Ten." Tommy corrected. "We've got time."

"Whatever." Jason laughed. "You'll be holding your new baby boy and not have a name picked out before you know it."

"He could always call him Bingo." Kat said quietly as her mind recalled a conversation from many years before, her eyes still glued to her phone. Both men looked over at her with eyebrows raised before they suddenly remembered Jason's remark about Charlie the night he'd died. Kat suddenly lifted her head and looked up at Tommy, a smile cracked on her lips. Tommy returned the smile.

"I'm sure that Anna would just love that." Tommy chuckled. "I want to see how that conversation goes. 'Hey Anna, what if we name our son after a farmer's dog?' Then it'll be 'Hey Tommy, how about if you sleep on the couch even though it's your house. Oh and no more fun times for you'. No thanks."

"I think it would be pretty funny. Can I watch that conversation?" Jason grinned.

"You would." Kat gently swatted his leg. "Leave Tommy alone."

"You're supposed to be defending me, Kat." Jason laughed as he hugged her to him once more.

"Who said that's the way it goes?" Kat raised an eyebrow. Jason could have kissed her senseless at that moment. It was like the Kat he'd fallen for had suddenly made a reappearance, he'd missed her.

"Well since you have this on your finger after all..." Jason shrugged his he lifted her left hand to show her her own ring.

"Bah, that means nothing." Kat grinned. "We're keeping the good doc up. His lovely wife is waiting all alone in bed right now."

"Yeah that's right. Shame on you." Tommy teased. "Behave you two."

"What's that mean?" Jason chuckled.

"Hopeless." Kat rolled her eyes. "Night Tommy."

"Night Kat." He moved over to the couch and gave her a tight hug.

"Thank you." she whispered.

"Anytime Angel Eyes." He replied before wandering off down the hall to join his pregnant wife.

"We should get to bed too." Jason stood and offered his hand to Kat. She took it and let him led her up the stairs, leaving her phone and mug on the coffee table.

They both quickly changed into pajamas and crawled under the covers. Jason made sure to give Kat the space she might need, knowing that if she wanted she'd curl against him. To his surprise, she did. She tucked her head into the crook of his neck, letting her slender fingers rest on his chest and lightly tease his tuft of chest hair. Her long legs stretched down over his own. He'd missed this connection, holding her and touching her. He'd been aching for her for over a week.

"Jason..." Kat said as he started to drift off.

"Hmm..." He hummed back.

"I'm sorry I've been gone. I promise I won't let myself go away again." She whispered.

"I'm glad Kat." Jason nodded as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Her words finally making sense in his head. She'd retreated into herself and had essentially hid to get herself through the stressful times. He just wished he knew what it was for sure that brought her out of it this time. "I've missed you."