-REMEMBER ME-
PART II

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Silly Old Doctor

I don't like leaving Clara.

I'm not clingy, not by any shot, she has every right to see those Temples, and what kind of person would I be if I were to deny her the sights? If I brought her to see the universe and then promptly didn't let her see it? It's not that I'm worried about her…oh, who am I kidding? I always worry about her. But I've got a bad feeling about this time. I don't like it.

I'm not…I'm not jealous. No. I don't get jealous. I'm the Doctor. I don't…do that sort of thing. I'd rather go and design a new kind of screwdriver.

But there's something about Clara that's, well…different.

I feel so comfortable with her, like I've known her my whole life. Like I will always know her my whole life. No saying goodbye, not with her, not ever. Not like Sarah Jane, or Leela, or Ian and Barbara. Not like Susan. Stupid, Silly Doctor. Because of course I'll lose her. Everyone always leaves, in the end.

Even Sarah Jane. Even Susan. If they leave, Clara will too.

It's foolish of me to get my hopes up. For me to even give in.

Don't fall in love.

Isn't that one of my many, many rules? Especially not with a companion. And yet I must remind myself, every time she enters my presence. Every time she smiles at me. Every time she's incredibly clever. Every time she hugs me. Every time she kisses me.

That kiss, contrary to whatever I might have told Clara, hadn't left my thoughts since it'd happened. I'd never thought about anyone this way. Though it's true, I knew at some point, it had to happen with someone. I do, after all, have a granddaughter. Granddaughters have Grandmothers, no? Timey-Wimey, yes, very Timey-Wimey.

And in some part of me, I can't help but hope…

She's perfect for me. Perfect in everyway. She stays put when I ask. She's so clever, and so pretty. And give me a mystery…the mystery of my own hearts and head. What was so special about her, so mysterious? Something was wrong, not quite right.

"Doctor? Doctor? Sorry, but you're about to make a very big mistake. Don't steal that one, steal this one. The navigation system's knackered, but you'll have much more fun."

I know. I've always remembered. I never forget a face. And Clara's face would be especially hard to forget. However different it looks. A Time Lord always knows. Perhaps, all this time, I've been running away from her. I do that a lot. It's quite possible that's why I've never…

It feels like…like something inevitable. Like a fixed point in time. Like something that has happened and will happen and must always happen. Not Clara, no, she's…well…she's like looking into a very bright light, and I couldn't tell up from down or past from future around her. No, it's not her, it's what she means.

The hammering of my hearts. The feeling of floating amoungst the stars whenever we touch, and when we kiss…I could take on the whole universe and win. I could see everything in her eyes.

I didn't even know her last name. I don't even know if she has a last name.

Clara. Such a simple name for a Time Lady. So odd. My mother had about twenty different names, each one extremely difficult to pronounce. My father had about thirty, and my own…well, I'd rather not go there. Tricky things, Time Lord names. They tell the past and the future, everything you are wrapped up in circles upon circles, looking like the interior of a clock. My own name was more complex than perhaps any name in the universe. Secret. It must always, always remain secret.

It guards the universe.

No one knows my name anymore. My own mother doesn't even know it. Only me.

But Clara.

So much complexity in such a simple name.

Such a big question, perhaps even a dangerous one…Clara Who?

Who was my companion? Why was I so drawn to her?

Why was I so afraid of her?

And when I watch her walk away, it scares me. Because she should be by my side. Always and forever. Until the day I die.

Stop it, Doctor.

Silly, sentimental old man.

It's impossible.

But she's the Impossible Girl.

"Are you coming, Doctor?" asks Tragalade, ripping me out of my thoughts. I tear my eyes away from Clara's back and look instead at Tragalade, a much less pleasant sight.

"Yes, of course. I want answers."

"And you'll get them, Doctor, all in good time."

"How do you know who I am?" I ask impatiently.

"Patience, Doctor."

"I'm a Time Lord, I don't have to be patient," I say grumpily.

Tragalade merely grins enigmatically.

"Come with me, and I will tell you what you need to know."

Run you clever boy, and remember me