DON'T LOOK.

Cal doesn't know what to think. She's afraid to open her eyes because she knows that the scene hasn't changed from when she closed them just a moment ago. Her teeth dig into her bottom lip when something touches her forehead. Cold, round, steel.

"Open up, C."

She keeps her eyes closed, but her mouth pulls back into a angry grimace and she can feel tears well in her eyes. Her heart is pounding so roughly against her chest that she's sure Syn can hear it.

"Open your eyes!"

His voice shakes her to the core, rattling her bones and making her teeth chatter. Cal opens her eyes slowly, everything in front of her unclear through the blur of her tears.

Betrayal is such a lonely and empty feeling, but it's not the act itself that leaves her shaking in her skin. It's the act of who is doing it.

Syn, clad in Dauntless black from head to tow, holding the steely, silver gun against her forehead.

Syn, her brother, gripping the gun in his hand and looking at her as if she were the scum of the earth.

"Stop it."

He grins at her, and it's a smile so familiar to her that she feels herself breaking. His smile was always so bright, the light she found in the dark. Her twin brother, her other half. The only one who could possibly break her with the act of betrayal. Her shoulders are weighed down with dread.

She loves her brother, she does - but she won't let him kill her.

She won't have her blood on his hands.

Cal lets out a cry and grabs the length of the gun and moves it to one side, while moving her head in the opposite direction. A shot fires and she dives towards her brother, wrapping her arms around his torso like a last embrace.

BETRAYAL.

Cal falls with an oomf, her chest and palms scraping the floor roughly. She hisses, rolling onto the side and letting out a soft groan of pain. It takes her a moment before she slowly lifts herself up from the floor, rubbing her scraped palms together.

It doesn't take her long after that to hear the soft pitter-patter of feet, and squeak and sniff of their noses and grinding teeth. She twirls, looking around her for a source of the noises. She can't see them, but they echo around her.

She doesn't wait for them to sneak up on her, and instead, takes off running against the pitch blackness that surrounds her. She cries out when she feels them claw and climb her pants. Cal slaps her calves, a few of them biting at her hands as she continues to run through the dark hallways. She runs faster, stumbling a few times when they begin to pile themselves in front of her.

She doesn't stop running even when they squeal and cry under her boot.

RATS.

Cal slaps her hands on the door as it comes into view, entering the room and slamming it shut. She pushes against the door with her palms, her forehead resting against the wood as she tries to catch her breath.

"Cal."

Her body goes cold, ice runs through her veins as fear spreads throughout her body in waves. Her name bubbles from his lips as he chokes and splutters, and Cal finds herself frozen. She's too afraid to turn around.

"Cal."

"No," she breaths, her hands balling into fists as they rest against the door, "No."

Something thumps behind her and Caldera has to force herself to peer over her shoulder.

"Come on, Kitten."

Cal closes her eyes again, the image of Eric a bleeding mess behind her makes her want to vomit. She takes in shaky breaths, breathing in through her nose and breathing out with her mouth. Her knuckles are white and when she opens her eyes again, the face behind her changes.

Cal holds in a whine as Ben stares up at her, his face bruised, and beaten. His pale blond hair is caked and coated with blood - the blond strands nearly hidden under the sea of crimson.

"Please."

Cal groans, and the next time she blinks she wants to scream.

"Do it, C."

Syn looks on the verge of death, his eyes are void of the light that usually brightens her day and his cheeks are sunken in and purple.

"You gotta do it."

His voice is softer, and he tilts his head to the side. She follows his line of vision, her knees starting to shake as her fingers circle around the gun. Her vision blurs from her tears, and she can barely make out who's kneeling in front of her until she hears the whisper of her most hated nickname.

"See you later, kitten."

B A N G

KILLING A FRIEND.

Cal sat for a long time in the training room after facing her fears for the second time. Four praised her for her work, but his eyes flickered with worry at her placid and stoic reaction after waking up. She had woken up from the simulation with a start, but had not said a word to Four afterward - only given him a few stiff nods and a forced smile.

Her brother was no where to be found after his testing with Four, and Ben had left her to her own devices and had gone with Tatum to go eat dinner.

Cal didn't want to do anything else except sit on the mat in the middle of the oversized room.

So she sat. Cross legged and staring at her trembling hands.

She didn't know how long she sat in silence for, but eventually he came walking in. She didn't hear him until he stepped beside her, his black boots resting right next to her thigh.

"It's late."

She nods in response, dragging her eyes away from his shoes and back to her hands. She holds them tightly against each other, a weak attempt to get them to stop shaking.

She snaps her attention away from herself when Eric crouches down, resting on his haunches to look at her. He looks at her with a mix between mild annoyance and confusion. He looks over her face, her shoulders, and then down to her hands. He's studying her.

He doesn't need to say it, she knows that he's aware of her trembling hands.

Cal turns to look away, her throat tightens and her eyes begin to tear up, "It's cruel."

Eric stays silent.

"It's cruel to have us all go up against our fears when we emerge from simulations like ghosts of ourselves," Cal's voice shakes but her anger is clear.

"You're Dauntless, there's no room for -"

"I know!" Cal interrupts Eric with a snap, her voice lashing out at him as she whips her head in his direction. Tears accumulate in her eyes but she doesn't let them fall, "I can do it. I can. I will be Dauntless, Syn will be Dauntless and Ben and -"

Cal stops, letting out a cry of frustration.

"Crying won't get you anywhere."

"Piss off, Eric," Cal growls, causing the Dauntless leader to smirk and Cal's anger to grow. She brings her hand and shoves him, causing him to slip from his haunches and onto his rear. Cal snorts at his ungraceful landing but doesn't have much time left for amusement when he roughly grabs onto her and yanks her down to the floor, pinning her hands above her head and sitting on her stomach to hold her down.

Cal lets out a soft gasp of surprise before she curses up at the young leader, attempting to twist out of his grasp.

"You piss me off."

"I could say the same," Cal huffs.

She tenses up when he leans in closely to her, his nose nearly touching hers and his own lips centimeters from her own. The heat from his body pulsated off of him in waves, a light, nervous, sweat accumulating on her forehead. She gulps, her eyes darting all around his face.

He seems amused at her flustered state, and Cal turns her head away from him. Eric leans in again, his lips ghosting the shell of her ear.

"You should really learn when to shut up."

AUTHORS NOTE

Tris' fears have a lot to do with lack of control, while Cal's fears have a lot to do with loneliness.

So, that's 5 fears so far. 5 down, 5 to go.

Also, still freaking out over Jai and Suicide Squad, tbh.

Thank you for reading!