"What do you think they're talking about over there?" Black*Star asked, craning his head to look over his shoulder.
I was sitting across from him, so it was easy for me to see what he meant. All I had to do was look up from my plate and there they were, standing near the end of the aisle of tables. Kim, Jacqueline, Liz, Patty, Tsubaki, and Maka were all grouped together having a serious discussion. With the exception of Patty, everyone had a dark, troubled look on her face. I couldn't hear what they were saying.
Soul, who was sitting next to Black*Star, continued to face forward. He shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "Just let them be."
I knew it was none of my business, but I strained my ears anyway. I wanted to know what they were talking about, too. Maka looked concerned, so I wanted to find out why.
"I think they're talking about you, Chrona," Kid said next to me, not bothering to lift his head. He was too busy focusing on arranging his lunch as neatly and symmetrically as possible.
I raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what made him say that.
Similarly, Black*Star tore his eyes away from the girls to stare at Kid suspiciously. "What makes you think that?"
"See for yourself."
At that moment, the group was making its way toward our table. Their faces didn't seem so troubled anymore, but there was still an air of uneasiness about them.
I didn't know how to deal with a bunch of girls talking about me. I braced myself as they got closer. They were going to put me on the spot, I just knew it.
As they stopped in front of me, I silently hoped that I wasn't in trouble. The way they stood, all grouped together and looking at me, made me think they were a jury about to announce that I'd been found guilty of a crime.
My eyes widened when Liz cleared her throat. She was standing front and center, tall and in command. She opened her mouth… and turned to Maka.
"Alright. Go ahead and ask."
Maka stared back at her in astonishment. "I thought you would."
Liz raised her hand to hide her mouth. She lowered her voice, but I could still hear it. "I changed my mind."
And without further ado, she gave Maka's back a gentle push forward. Her eyes met mine for a moment before they quickly broke away.
All the while, my hands twisted in my lap. I felt like I really had done something wrong. Liz couldn't handle asking me a question and got Maka to take her place. It was as if I was the one making things difficult for her. For all of them.
I didn't know how I could make anyone nervous (usually it was the other way around) but I did understand why Maka was selected to take charge. The moment she stepped right in front of me, she bent down a little and placed her hands over mine. Almost immediately I felt them stop twisting around. They lay still beneath her fingers, warm and relaxed.
I looked up and saw nothing but green. For a second, it was as if she and I were the only ones there. Even though her smile seemed a bit forced, I felt like I could deal with whatever question she was about to ask me.
"Chrona." Maka's voice faltered, but I barely noticed. She paused, blinking down at our hands. Then she looked me in the eye again.
"Would you like to come to our slumber party?"
I heard a few of the girls draw in their breath.
A hush seemed to fall over the entire cafeteria. No one breathed.
Then Black*Star snorted. "Slumber party? But that's for g—"
Soul slammed one hand on top of Black*Star's head and the other under his chin, effectively clamping his jaw shut.
Maka glanced at them for a second, then focused on me again. Her hands fastened more snugly around mine.
"We were just thinking… Since you've never been to a sleepover before, you could come to ours. If you want."
Her eyes were bright and hopeful, her smile warm and inviting. Everyone watched us, waiting, but I found it difficult to concentrate on anyone except Maka. I stared back at her face, fighting the urge to blink. I felt so calm that I didn't even need to think about how to answer.
"Okay."
The reactions of the girls were mixed. Maka seemed relieved, Patty's smile grew wider than usual, and Tsubaki's eyes gleamed. Liz smiled too, but it was small and strained. Jacqueline also looked a bit nervous and Kim narrowed her eyes suspiciously, frowning.
Black*Star twisted out of Soul's grasp. He didn't say anything, but he looked at me strangely, as though he were trying to see right through me.
-xoxo-
I packed only the essentials: my pajamas, a few blankets, a pillow, a toothbrush. When I arrived at the mansion where Kid, Liz, and Patty lived, I noticed for the first time just what kind of party a slumber party was. It was the kind that only allowed people who'd been invited. I wondered aloud why Kid, Soul, and Black*Star weren't invited. Weren't they our friends, too?
"They are," Maka reassured me. "But this is just for us. It's just going to be us this time."
"That's right," Liz chimed in, using the toothiest, fakest smile I'd ever seen. "We've got the whole place to ourselves tonight."
And yet no one seemed very excited. I kept getting uneasy glances and whenever someone spoke to me directly, her voice often sounded a little squeaky. I was starting to think it might've been a bad idea for me to have come here.
After giving all of us a quick tour, Liz said we were free to make ourselves at home. We could go into any room we wanted and even make a mess if we felt like it, as long as we agreed to help fix everything up in the morning.
With the afternoon waning, the seven of us gathered in a large room that had all the furniture pushed back against the walls. The floor was soft and there was more than enough room for all of us to sit in a big circle. As soon as I settled down in my own spot, I felt a ripple inside my body.
I froze, which was a stupid thing to do. Instead of wasting that moment hesitating, I should've braced myself or warned the others or done something. This was my first sleepover and now Ragnarok was about to ruin it for me.
Suddenly my face met the floor, and I couldn't see. I tried lifting my head, but Ragnarok's balled up little fist wouldn't let me.
"Really, Chrona? Really?" he said as a couple of gasps rang out around me. "I didn't think you'd be into something as girly as this. So what are we gonna do first? Have a pillow fight? Gossip? Compare the size of our tits?"
"Maka… Chop!"
There was a loud whamming sound. I thought Ragnarok's fist would loosen, but it only pressed down on me more. Then I heard Maka's voice.
"Ladies?"
There was a scuffling of feet and the sound of Patty giggling insanely.
"Grab him!"
They all gathered around me. The weight on my head was taken away. Carefully, I peered up to see what was happening.
Kim and Patty were on either side of me, holding on to Ragnarok's arms. Patty was still giggling madly.
The others were armed with cosmetics. Eyeliners, lipsticks, powder puffs, and bottles of perfume lay clutched in their hands like weapons.
Ragnarok recovered from his book-induced injury and eyed the small objects warily.
"We were thinking of starting off with a makeover, actually," Liz said, pointing a blood-red lipstick at him like it was a pocketknife. "Since you're so eager, we'll start with you."
"You wouldn't."
"Try me."
Ragnarok stared at her with no apparent emotion on his face. She narrowed her eyes, holding the lipstick firm and steady.
Everyone waited. The room was still. Patty had stopped giggling, but the corners of her mouth twitched every now and then.
Suddenly, a loud ringing caused us all to turn our heads. It sounded like it was coming from the front door, and I quickly realized that it was the doorbell.
"Oh!" said Liz, getting to her feet. "That's probably the food."
The tension that once filled the room evaporated at the mention of food. Arms lowered. Scowls were replaced by eager smiles.
"I'll help you carry it in," Tsubaki offered, also rising.
Everyone calmed down knowing their dinner had arrived at the door. All the makeup was stashed away and Ragnarok was released. I pulled myself up from the floor.
We'd all agreed earlier on having Chinese takeout. We got back in a circle, unable to sit still until the aroma of noodles and fried rice filled our noses.
I handed Ragnarok his chopsticks, but he pushed them away, saying he didn't need them. I had a feeling he was lying—he probably didn't know how to use them. Or couldn't.
Soon Kim suggested we all break open our fortune cookies. I'd heard of these before, but never tried it. I wondered what my very first Chinese fortune cookie would say.
As plastic wrappers crinkled and cookies cracked open around me, I held my own in both hands, cupping it between my palms. What if it contained something bad?
I glanced at Maka sitting beside me. She broke her cookie in half and took out the paper curled inside it, keeping it clutched in her fist while she slid the cookie in her mouth.
The others were reading their fortunes with smiles on their faces. If everyone else had gotten good fortunes, then maybe I would, too.
With that thought in mind, I ripped the plastic away and broke the cookie. A chunk of white poked out and I plucked it.
The fortune unfurled before my eyes. I looked at it for a few seconds, then flipped it over, then back again. Surely this was some kind of mistake.
"What's wrong, Chrona?" Tsubaki asked, her voice gentle. She sat on my other side, holding her fortune close to her chest. "Did you get a bad fortune?"
I turned my head toward her, unsure of what to say. She looked down at the slip of paper in my hands and asked what was on it.
"Nothing," I answered.
She frowned, her shoulders sagging. "Oh… If you don't want to tell me, that's okay…"
I opened my mouth, but Ragnarok seized the paper from me and held it in front of his face. He scrutinized it for a few moments. "Oh," he said. "You weren't kidding."
By now the others had noticed and were intrigued too. "What's wrong?"
And Ragnarok showed them. He held it out for everyone to see. The slip of paper was blank on both sides. My first fortune was nothing but a plain white rectangle.
Kim spoke up. "So what does that mean? Chrona has no future?"
"No," Maka snapped, throwing her a stern look. "It means they made a mistake."
There was silence. The girls glanced down at their own fortunes, their faces darkening. Even Patty seemed a little upset for a moment. Then she brightened up and looked at me.
"Here, Chrona! You can have mine. It says, 'Your smile brings joy to everyone around you. Always remember to keep your chin up.'"
"I don't think that'll work, Patty." Liz twisted a strand of hair between her fingers. "You're the one who broke open the cookie, so the fortune is yours."
"But there's no harm in sharing, right? If I give it away, then at least some of it should rub off on Chrona, don't you think?"
Liz shrugged, giving her sister an amused smile.
Patty left her place in the circle to give me her fortune. She held it out for me, waiting for me to take it. I felt like I was cheating her somehow, but the energetic look on her face told me I couldn't refuse the gift.
The only thing I could think to say was, "Thank you." As soon as I did, Ragnarok bopped my head, so I corrected myself. "Thank you very much."
"You're welcome," she said. Then her grin faded. "Don't expect the cookie's magic to work all by itself, though, Chrona. You have to help it along." Her eyes turned steely as she looked at me seriously.
I stared back at her. Her eyebrows scrunched down together as her mouth formed a tight, straight line. She didn't move, as if she were stuck that way.
It was funny to see her like this. I smiled.
"Good, good, like that!" she cheered, clapping her hands. The others laughed.
Jacqueline, who had been pretty quiet since the sleepover started, spoke up suddenly. "Chrona, you can have mine too. Please take it."
"O-Okay."
As she moved to give it to me, she said, "Mine says, 'Loyalty is one of your greatest qualities. You will soon be rewarded for your efforts.'"
I accepted it from her, feeling my stomach tighten. Before it seemed I wouldn't have any fortune at all, and now I had two.
Jacqueline settled in her own spot again and looked at Kim, who stuck her lips out and pouted. But to my surprise, she leaned toward me and handed over her fortune, too.
"'Although you are destined to succeed in all the goals you've set for yourself,'" she recited, "'don't forget to stop now and then to enjoy the simpler things.'"
No sooner had she sat back down than Tsubaki cleared her throat and read hers, as if she'd been waiting for her turn. "'Kindness, patience, and honesty come naturally to you. Speak your mind and others are sure to listen.'"
Liz went next. "Mine's pretty simple, so I think you'll like it, Chrona. 'The more you give, the more you'll receive.'"
That made five. Five fortunes in all, one each from five of my friends.
Everyone looked at Maka.
Her brow was furrowed. She was examining her fortune intensely. She read it while holding it with both hands. When she noticed us staring at her, she flushed brightly. Then she looked at me, holding the little paper close to her.
I tried to tell her she didn't have to give me her fortune if she didn't want to, but I wasn't quick enough. She opened her mouth before I could, and her words came out strong and firm.
"Here, Chrona. I want you to have this. You deserve it more than I do."
Her hands were balled into fists and she was still holding the paper close to her. I made a bowl with my hands as I held them out to her. She placed the fortune inside, her hands forming a lid over mine. She leaned in close to my ear, hiding her face from the others.
"Look at it later," she whispered.
"Hey, what gives?" Ragnarok came between us, trying to grab the paper. "What's it say?"
A few of the others wanted to know too, but Maka told them it was none of their business. I covered the paper up and kept it safe from wandering eyes, even my own.
Maka was accused of being unfair, seeing as how everyone else read their fortunes out loud. Then they started teasing her, saying that it must have been a fortune about love.
She denied it, quite vehemently, while my face glowed like a nightlight. There was a lot of giggling then.
And within seconds, out of nowhere, the giggling erupted into gossip. They began talking excitedly about who they thought was "cute" or "hot" at the academy. They asked each other about crushes. Then everyone turned to Kim and asked how her relationship with Ox was going.
"Have you guys kissed yet?"
"Shut up! As if I'd tell you something like that!"
"That does it. I can't take this anymore," Ragnarok murmured as I clutched my arm tightly. I felt him retreat back into my body just as my forehead began to moisten with sweat. I felt like pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them—I wanted to hide my face in them.
They kept talking in that playful, teasing way and every sentence ended in a fit of giggles. I stared down at the floor, waiting for them to grow tired and find something new to talk about.
But it only got worse. Kim reminisced about a time when Ox did something nice for her soon after they got together.
"It was that time again, and I had the worst cramps ever—I couldn't even stand straight."
"Ugh, I hate those."
"Me too!"
"Mine are never that bad, actually."
"Really? Lucky you."
"Anyway… Since I couldn't move around that much, Ox ran errands for me. He did whatever I wanted until I felt better."
"How nice of him to help you at a time like that."
"I can't believe we have to go through it for so many years."
"Hey, do you guys use pads or tampons?"
By now my head was dipped so low it was almost level with my shoulders. It helped that I couldn't see anyone, but their voices made my ears burn. I tried to drown them out by pretending I was far away, doing something else.
Maka raised her voice. "Everyone, stop. Let's talk about something else."
They fell silent, and I knew they were all looking at me. I kept my eyes cast down, focusing on a tiny crumb on the floor.
The voices slowly returned, low and cautious, like they were inside a public library. I felt Maka place a hand on my shoulder. I wished she would take it away.
The air was hot and stuffy and it felt like I was trapped inside a small box. Like Ragnarok, I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up and left the room. No one tried to stop me, for which I was grateful.
I needed some fresh air so I went outside. Not to the front yard, but the back.
As expected, the backyard was trim and orderly and massive. The lawn was cut so precisely that I didn't think a single blade of grass was taller or shorter than the rest.
A bench stood on either side of the patio, facing the whole backyard and I took a seat at one. I looked at the sky and wondered how long it'd be before the stars came out. I leaned back on the bench and closed my eyes. It was nice and quiet out here and I soon forgot about giggles and talks of blood cycles.
It got darker. A light hanging up on the wall behind me turned on by itself, marking the start of evening.
The peace of the outdoors worked wonders for me, so I went back inside.
Their voices reached me as I neared the room. They seemed to be arguing. When I heard their words, I stopped.
"Maybe we should just ask directly."
I stood near the door, listening. Were they talking about me?
"No way. That'd be too rude."
"That has nothing to do with it, anyway," Maka insisted. "We just need to watch what we say from now on."
"But I came here to have fun, Maka, not to watch my mouth." This voice belonged to Kim, who sighed heavily. "I don't know about you, but I'm tired of having to be careful around Chrona all the time. Maybe we shouldn't have invited anyone else after all."
There was a pause then. Nobody spoke up to agree or disagree with Kim.
I stayed where I was, waiting, afraid that someone would start to say something the moment I chose to walk in. I wanted to take a peek inside, but I stopped myself. Instead I closed my eyes and counted. I counted for a whole minute, then opened my eyes and took a deep, silent breath.
I stepped through the doorway, eyes on the floor and hand on my wrist. Maka stood up from the circle and reached out to touch my arm. She asked me where I went and I told her the truth. I nodded when she asked if I was feeling better. Her hand gave my arm a gentle squeeze, and I didn't mind it.
She and the others had dressed into their pajamas. I was the only one in regular clothes still. Maka must've been able to tell what I was thinking, because she let go of my arm and moved aside for me.
I hadn't noticed it before, but after I went away to change and came back, I realized that everyone was barefoot. They each had a bottle of nail polish and were painting their nails. Patty used rainbow-colored polish on her fingernails while her sister helped out by doing her toenails. The room smelled of polish, its oily scent wafting through the air.
"Chrona?" Maka asked. "Will you help me?"
I bit down on my tongue, lightly, to stop myself from answering right away. I wanted to help her, but I wondered what the others would think of me.
I looked at them. Everyone seemed busy, and that made it easy for me to make a choice.
I sat next to her and she handed me a bottle of pink nail polish, pushing her feet closer to me.
Having never done something like this before, I paused. I glanced at the others again and noticed that Kim had cotton balls in between her toes as she worked.
It didn't look too hard, I thought.
Kim used the skinny little brush just like a real paintbrush. One by one, she gave each of her toenails a couple of long, smooth strokes. She also leaned forward and blew on them every now and then.
The others were doing the same thing, only they didn't have cotton balls. Kim seemed to have a few extras, so I was in luck.
I clasped the bottle snugly in my palm. Maka smiled at me. It was that same smile she wore whenever I decided to try something I'd never tried before.
I didn't want to let her down by messing up. I wanted to do this right.
The bottle felt warm in my hand as I forced myself to half crawl, half drag myself to the other end of our circle to reach Kim. My head felt like it weighed a ton, but I managed to pick it up in order to look at her.
She looked back, annoyed at having been interrupted. "What?"
I cringed, remembering what I overheard her say earlier. My fingers shook as I touched the spare cotton balls lying on the floor. "C-Can I use these?"
She lowered her eyes, then raised them back at me. She peered over at Maka.
I felt my fingers tighten. They were kind of squishing the cotton balls, but I didn't care. I needed these. I was not leaving without them.
Kim studied my face and I stared back. Finally, she told me I could have them.
Gathering them up, I gave her a quick thanks and scuttled back to Maka. She'd started painting her fingernails with a separate bottle of pink nail polish. She'd also rolled the pants of her pajamas up toward her knees.
I sat in front of her and looked at her face. Her eyes were glued to her hand. She gently blew on her nails every so often. She gave them smooth, delicate strokes. Like Kim and the others, she concentrated on her task very carefully, as if she were painting a masterpiece. I had to be careful, too.
Taking the cotton balls one by one, I nudged them in between all of Maka's toes. She smiled as if she was going to laugh. I hoped I wasn't distracting her.
The fumes from the pink nail polish swatted me as I untwisted the cap. I tried to copy what everyone else was doing, but it was much harder than I expected. They made it look so easy! No matter how slowly I guided the brush, bits of paint would flake all around her toe. My hand could never hold the brush still enough. Some nails drowned in pink polish. They looked like clotted pink lumps, not smooth at all.
I messed up, and so I looked around to see if anyone had any nail polish remover I could borrow. They didn't. I was stuck with my mistakes.
Then I realized that I'd forgotten something important. I was so focused on painting her nails that I forgot to blow on them.
It might've already been too late for that, but I lowered my head anyway. I wasn't thinking. I let myself get close to her toes and stopped. A wave of heat flooded my face.
I pulled back, almost gasping aloud at what I'd almost done.
"Are you finished?"
Maka's voice snapped me out of it. She'd just finished painting all her fingernails. Now she was examining her feet, looking at the sloppy work I made of them.
I wanted to tell her I was sorry, but then I noticed the way she was smiling. It was as if she were impressed, as if she honestly liked what she saw.
Her fingernails were shiny and smooth while her toenails were bumpy and flaky. I didn't get why this didn't seem to bother her at all.
Maka plucked out all the cotton balls and wiggled her toes. She looked at me and asked, "Can I do yours, Chrona?"
My face grew hot again. I stared at her for a few moments, wondering if she was being serious. Her eyes glinted. Looking at them somehow put all the troubles out of my head. The burning heat on my face fell away as easily as water slipping through a person's fingers.
I nodded. It was hard to say no to Maka when she made things like this seem so… normal.
She found a couple of bottles of black nail polish. I rolled up the pants of my pajamas just a little past my ankles. As she handed me one of the bottles, I thought maybe I could do a better job on my own nails.
I was almost right. Painting my fingernails was much easier, but my hand still had trouble staying still. Flecks of black paint surrounded my fingertips. It was like relearning how to color inside the lines of a coloring book.
This time I remembered to blow on them.
And so did Maka. As she guided the brush along, she'd lean in every once in a while to gently blow her warm, dry breath over the wet paint. It tickled. Somehow she managed to tickle me without touching me.
I couldn't help but be distracted. Again and again I caught myself staring at what she was doing. It was no wonder she finished before I did.
When we were done, we looked at our own nails and at each other's. They were a strange but cute kind of mismatch. Maka slid her feet close to mine until they touched. Smooth, glossy black toes met flaky, lumpy pink ones. She held up her hands in front of her, and I mirrored her. Messy, bumpy black fingertips met sleek, perfect pink ones.
-xoxo-
I'd never slept in a room full of girls before. When everyone began taking out blankets and pillows and sleeping bags, I was tempted to leave and find another place to sleep.
But I stayed. I lay still and closed my eyes, but I couldn't get comfortable. I let my thoughts drift toward something boring, something that would lull me into nothingness.
Counting sheep. That's what some people did to help them fall asleep, right?
I pictured a group of sheep grazing in a field. There were one, two, three… six of them. Six white sheep moving lazily about, stopping every now and then to snack on the grass at their feet. Their short, painted feet.
I saw another sheep among them, only its wool was black. Six white sheep, and one black sheep.
That's seven in all, I thought. Seven's a lucky number.
Lucky…
I sat up suddenly, so suddenly it made my head spin. The room was dark and full of the sound of gentle breathing. I waited impatiently for my eyes to adjust before looking around.
It only took a few moments for me to find what I wanted. I held the fortune that Maka gave me and stood up. Now seemed like as good a time as any to read it. All I had to do was go out and find some light.
But as I turned toward the door, I noticed a pillow that didn't have a head resting on it. Maka wasn't here anymore.
Clutching the paper in my fist, I tiptoed out the door. I'd gone from one dark place to another. I stood there hesitating, wondering where she went.
The manor looked so different now. Everything was bathed in a blue hue, as if all of it was submerged underwater. It was quiet, too. I loosened my hand a little so as not to get the paper wet with any sweat.
I stepped forward. The first place I thought of checking was the kitchen. Maybe Maka was getting a late midnight snack or a glass of water.
A faint glow of light soon came into view, but not from the kitchen. As I got closer to it, I realized that the light wasn't coming from inside the house, but outside, in the backyard. And through the window, I could just make out Maka sitting on the same bench I'd sat in before.
I felt the corners of my mouth pull down. My body propelled itself forward, my arm stretching out for the door's handle—Instantly I was on the other side, and in my rush I nearly fell flat on my face.
Maka's head whirled around.
I straightened up. "Maka—" I started, but she put her finger to her lips, reminding me to keep my voice down.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
I stared at her incredulously. "That's what I want to know. What are you doing out here in the cold?"
"It's not cold."
I wanted to protest, but then I paused. I stood on the spot and waited for the air to make me shiver, but it didn't. It was warm, despite how late it was. The air was a big, cozy blanket surrounding me.
The night was quiet except for a few insects buzzing near the outdoor light hanging on the wall. Maka blinked at me.
My shoulders slackened and I suddenly felt incredibly foolish. "…Oh."
Her laugh was as soft and light as a feather fluttering in the breeze. She moved to the end of the bench and patted the space beside her. "Sit with me."
I stepped forward, noting the warmth of the ground on my bare feet. She watched me as I sat beside her. Then she looked straight ahead, at the vastness of the backyard. All the bushes and statues were now nothing but black shapes in the darkness.
I glanced up at the sky, disappointed at its emptiness. I could only see one star. It was tiny and not very bright.
"I couldn't sleep," Maka admitted. She leaned back on the bench and raised her head toward the sky. Her eyes lingered on the single star.
We stared at it in a long silence.
I was about to lean back myself when Maka said, "I'm sorry."
I looked at her. She continued to stare at the sky. Her face was so still that I almost thought she hadn't said anything. But then she took a slow, deep breath and rested her eyes on mine.
"I'm sorry if you didn't have any fun tonight. Maybe this was a mistake."
Maka's voice was so strong and steady, yet it looked like she was about to cry.
I bit my lip. It was times like these that I almost wished I wasn't Maka's friend. It hurt to know that I made her worry so much, even to the point that she couldn't sleep.
I swallowed and tried to make my voice firm, so she'd know I wasn't saying this just to get her to stop worrying. "I'm glad I came here, really. It wasn't a mistake or a waste of time."
With my empty hand, I found one of her own. It was resting in her lap and as soon as I touched it, Maka's brightly painted fingers laced with mine. Our hands felt warmer than the night air around us.
I looked down at our fingernails. "It wasn't so bad… for my first sleepover. I liked it when we painted our nails… And I liked it when everyone gave me their fortunes…"
Maka's hand twitched. I raised my head and saw the color spread across her face. "Did you read mine yet?"
I shook my head. My fingers loosened and slipped out of her grasp. I held the fortune tightly in both hands in front of me, keeping my eyes on hers.
Maka nodded, giving me permission to read it.
I uncovered it and, under the yellow light, read the words printed on it at last.
The one you love will return your feelings.
My mouth dropped. I read it over again to make sure I was reading it right.
"Maka…" I could feel myself begin to tremble. "I can't take this."
I pushed the fortune closer to her, but she placed her hands around my wrists.
"It's okay. I want you to have it."
"But—This—It's too—"
I stopped and squeezed my eyes shut. I waited for the trembling to disappear. My face grew really hot because I was flustered, and I didn't like being flustered and tongue-tied around Maka.
She didn't seem to mind, though. Her thumbs gently rubbed my wrists as she waited for me to clear my thoughts.
It really helped. Her fingers were like a special remedy for fluster attacks. I focused on how they felt as they kneaded my wrists. Over and over they went, rubbing.
They slowed down and stopped when I opened my eyes. I was ready to say what I wanted to say.
"I can't take something like this away from you. If—If anyone deserves this kind of fortune, it's you."
"You're not taking it away from me. I'm giving it to you." Her hands slid away from my wrists and covered my fingers. She pressed on them, pushing the slip of paper back toward me.
I didn't try to give it back to her, but I still felt bad about accepting such an important gift.
But then I thought about it. Maybe Maka didn't need to have this fortune after all. If there was someone she loved, then surely she'd be able to win them over all by herself. She wouldn't need any good luck to help her. She was smart and pretty and nice, so why would anyone not return her feelings?
I sighed and gave her a little nod as thanks.
Maka gazed up at the sky again. The star seemed just a tiny bit brighter now.
We watched it together for a long time, not saying a word. Something warm and heavy settled on my shoulder and I felt Maka's hair brush against my neck.
I almost panicked because I thought she'd fallen asleep on me. Then I heard her voice.
"I really hope it comes true for you someday."
I didn't know what to say, so I kept quiet. The pit of my stomach suddenly felt hollow and empty.
I tilted my head so it could rest on top of hers.
The insects' buzzing and humming almost sounded like a lullaby, but I was wide awake. I sat with Maka out under the sky's only starlight until she was ready to go back inside.