In which Blaine is almost as tired as me. But he's also drunk so maybe he wins? Who knows.
The Designated Drunk
"Oh my god, Blaine, you are so drunk," says Kurt, chuckling at him and rubbing his back. Blaine leans into him, letting him support his weight.
"Mmmph."
"Come on. Let's get you to bed," Kurt says as he opens the door. "Home sweet home."
"Mmmph," says Blaine excitedly.
Kurt kicks the door shut and walks Blaine to the bedroom, letting him drop on the bed, sprawled like a starfish. He puts a hand on Blaine's back, right between his shoulder bones. "B. You can't fall asleep in your jeans."
"Mmmph," Blaine says into the pillow.
"Roll over," Kurt nudges him. "B, just roll over and let me help you out of your jeans."
"Mmmph?" he mutters as he rolls over.
"Get your mind out of the gutter," says Kurt and unbuttons his pants. "You're drunk and half-asleep, there's no sex happening." Quickly, he peels the tight material off Blaine's thick thighs. They look grateful.
"Goodnight," Kurt says with a kiss to Blaine's forehead. Blaine snores at him, his mouth wide open and smelling like alcohol. Kurt pats his hair and goes to lock the front door.