Though Severus had told Hermione not to come back, he acutely felt the lack of her presence over the following week. He found he had no appetite, his heart quickened at the sound of footsteps outside his cell, and every dream was of her. He often woke drenched with sweat, having dreamt of losing her – though she was not his to lose.
Every day he stood at his window trying to banish thoughts of her but instead all he could see was those beautiful, intelligent eyes staring back at him. He really had no idea why she would be visiting him. Sure, the Weasley boy was a child but at least he was a free man; and a young man. There was so much more that Ron could give her than he could.
Ronald had asked why Hermione was late returning from Hogwarts the day she visited Severus. She reluctantly told him and it had caused a huge argument. Ron didn't want her getting tied up with him. What would people think? What if someone saw? He wasn't comfortable with her visiting that git and that was the end of it. He had stalked angrily out of the room and left her to her thoughts.
She felt terrible that she made Ron upset. She had never intended to hurt him…but she was already feeling a sort of withdrawal. The next few days she tried to focus on her classes but inevitably found her thoughts drifting towards the tall, lanky, brooding man she had left at the prison. Her hands felt a sort of ache thinking about him, and she frequently woke in the middle of the night panting and aroused (and guilty) thinking of those large, rough hands caressing her skin.
After about a week, her resolve crumbled, and while out for a jog on a cold Saturday morning, she abruptly made the decision to apparate to the prison for another visit. Upon arriving, she felt tingles of anticipation and her heartbeat quickened. The walk to his cell seemed to last for ages until finally the guard opened the door and she stepped inside.
Severus turned in surprise when his door swung open. In walked Hermione – her face flushed, her hair pulled back into a braid with tendrils escaping here and there… and… his eyes trailed down to her legs which were covered in thin leggings that showed every muscle and line. He swallowed hard and forced himself to drag his gaze up to meet hers again.
He caught a small smile that flickered across her lips before she moved forward to sit on the chair beside his bed. He followed her and took his place on the bed. They sat for a moment, looking at each other. Hermione's gaze dropped first, shifting uncomfortably in her seat and fidgeting. Suddenly, Severus clearly saw what was going on.
"I take it Mr. Weasley does not approve of your jaunts to Azkaban to visit a murderer, then? You've resorted to sneaking off? I assure you, Miss Granger, I am not worth the trouble." As he spoke, he lifted his chin and made his voice as cold and indifferent as possible.
Hermione held his gaze and shook her head slightly. "Ronald is upset. He's lost his brother and his world doesn't make much sense just yet. He'll come around." Severus scoffed and suddenly became very interested in a stray thread on his mattress.
"It doesn't matter what Ronald wants, Severus. I want to visit you and last I checked I was a free woman." Hermione was surprised at how forceful her voice sounded – as did Severus, judging by his expression. She suspected she was telling herself just as much as she was telling him.
After a few moments of staring long and hard at each other (and what she thought resembled respect growing in his eyes), she offered up a crossword puzzle for them to finish together. Severus looked taken aback but agreed.
The next several weeks she visited him randomly: after class, on a lunch hour, when she was out for a run, while Ron was out of town… each time she could see just a flash of pain on his face that she had to sneak off to see him, but they easily fell into a routine.
She kept him updated with news about Hogwarts, brought The Daily Prophet for him to read, they would sit and talk about potions, or they would simply sit beside one another and complete crossword puzzles. Severus had never done them before, but found them to be quite intriguing. Some questions were annoyingly muggle oriented, but Hermione was always quick to offer up those answers.
As they sat this way, Severus would steal glances through his lanky hair at her long eyelashes, just brushing her cheeks. The way she bit her lip and her forehead creased when she was thinking almost made him smile. His favorite thing though, was her scent. The faint smell of a Vanilla perfume, and what he thought was Strawberry shampoo. It was intoxicating, and he often breathed in the remnants of her scent on his bed when he couldn't sleep. He felt himself falling in love with her more after every visit.
He had begun forgoing the use of his pillow to instead hold it close to him. He told himself it was more comfortable, but his heart knew he clutched it at night thinking of her. Those eyes, her scent, her voice…they all haunted him in the time between her visits. As they had to be random, he never knew when she was coming and often it was 2 weeks or more between those visits.
Hermione found such peace in her visits with Severus. It was a relief to have a reverie of sorts away from Ron's tears, complaints, and rambling conversations. She didn't have many friends besides Ron, Harry and Ginny – at least not that she kept up with well – and with them, everything inevitably wound up back to the battle. There were too many painful memories there for her, but she would grin and bear it, thankful when the night was finally over and they'd retreat to their homes to sleep.
Every night after visiting the prison, she felt a calmness that she relished. She always slept better and felt refreshed. However, the more time went by without a visit led to restlessness and dreams that left her guilty or terrified. She would lull herself back to sleep thinking about him. His deep voice providing crossword answers, his eyes gazing at her with respect and a sort of curiosity. When they sat on his bed, he was so close that she felt a sort of electric charge between them. They hadn't touched again, though the occasional brush of a hand sent shivers down her spine.
One night at the Three Broomsticks, she was out with Ron, Harry and Ginny (who had gotten engaged and were planning a June wedding). She found herself nursing her wine and staring off into the distance picturing Severus's dark eyes. She licked her lips at the thought of them on his, passionately exploring his mouth with her tongue.
"'Mione?" Hermione snapped out of her daydream, cheeks flushing and saw Ron kneeling in front of her. Her eyes widened and panic set in. She barely heard Ginny squeal with delight in the background.
"'Mione, you are my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without you and I never want find out. You've helped me through so much. I love you. I want you to be mine." He opened a small black box to reveal a thin gold band with a tiny round stone in the center.
Hermione stared in shock, her mind completely blank. Her eyes darted up from the ring to his questioning eyes and tried to force herself to talk.
"She says yes of course!" Ginny shouted and lunged forward to grab the ring and put it on Hermione's finger. Then she threw herself at Ron, squealing and giggling. Hermione's mind was reeling as Harry drew her into a tight embrace. He whispered softly into her ear, "You alright?" That snapped Hermione back to the present and forced a smile. She nodded weakly and was pulled into a tight squeeze by Ginny.
That night when they arrived home, Ronald clearly expected them to make love. He was a bit tipsy from his Firewhiskey, and she was barely able to tolerate his sloppy kisses. Thankfully after some clumsy kissing and foreplay in bed, he passed out. Hermione laid in the dark and cried. She wanted so badly to make this work with Ron. He was a great guy and it all worked out so nicely. But since she started her visits to the prison, she found herself less and less attracted to him.
The next morning was Sunday. A day they traditionally went to visit Ron's parents. However, this time Hermione faked being ill from too much wine. Ron offered repeatedly to stay home with her but she refused, telling him he needed to tell them their news. Reluctantly he nodded and left, saying he'd be home after lunch and would make her some tea.
She stayed glued to her spot at the dining table for quite some time after he left, fighting with herself. But in the end, she shot up and into their bedroom to get dressed and go for a visit.
It had been nearly three weeks since her last visit, Severus thought, and it was killing him. She was now constantly in his thoughts and though her actual scent was long gone from his mattress, a phantom scent hung in the air, driving him mad. He was standing with his eyes closed, feeling the cool, early spring breeze through his one small window when he heard the footsteps. His heart leapt but he forced himself not to get his hopes up. Miraculously, it was his door he heard swing open, and upon turning his head slightly, saw it was her who entered his cell as beautiful as ever.
She was wearing a long sleeved sundress that fell to her knees. He hungrily took in the sweet swell of her breasts just peeking out of the neckline. Her hair was framing her beautiful face and he found himself moving towards her before the cell door was even closed. He stopped himself just in time, wanting so badly to hold her and breathe in her scent. Her eyes met his and his heart skipped a beat. She had obviously been crying, and unshed tears still shone in her eyes.
"Hermione!" He choked out. "What is wrong?" She just shook her head. He put a hand on her lower back and led her to the chair beside his bed. The material was thin and he could easily feel her soft, warm skin through it.
Once she had sat down, and he had sat across from her, worriedly looking her over, she took a few deep breaths and looked up at him. With no words, he raised his eyebrows to her questioningly. A brief look of pain crossed her face. After a beat, she lowered her eyes to her left hand. His eyebrows creased as he followed her gaze to find a simple engagement ring perched on her slender finger.
Without realizing it, he had stood suddenly, and his mouth had dropped open a bit. His stomach had dropped and he felt as though he would be sick. He noticed her look of concern and quickly shut his mouth, forcing his features back to their normal, indifferent expression.
"So," He had to clear his throat before continuing. "Mr. Weasley has proposed then." Hermione recognized that as a question and nodded slowly, rising from her seat and gently laying her hand on his arm.
Severus abruptly sat, effectively pulling his arm out of her grasp. He placed a hand on his stomach. "Miss Granger, I think I may have to ask you to come back another time. I am not feeling very well." He glanced up at her and almost lost his composure. She looked as though he had just slapped her across the face. Silent tears ran down her cheeks and she held herself so tightly, her knuckles were white.
After a moment or two she nodded and dropped her eyes to the floor. She hastily wiped her cheeks and let out a shaky breath.
"Of course, Mister Snape. I'm sorry to have bothered you."
He stared dully at the chair she had just vacated as she walked towards the door. "Goodbye, Severus." Hermione whispered. Severus gasped and leapt to his feet, wanting to call after her but she was already gone.