Thanks to Ally for the read-through, and to everyone who is still reading.
When Rick arrives back at the loft, he feels mentally and physically beat. He tosses his keys in the direction of the bowl on the breakfast bar, not caring when he misses completely and his keys slide halfway across the counter. He flops on the couch, his head falling against the armrest about the same time his forearm covers his eyes.
"Richard, are you drunk?"
He never thought he would prefer his mother's presence over his daughter's, but he doesn't know if he can handle telling Alexis his big bombshell tonight. Tonight, he just needs someone to listen.
"No, I'm not drunk."
"Then why are you throwing things? Alexis and I figured you were probably out tonight."
"Where is Alexis?" he asks, sitting up and scrubbing his hands over his eyes.
"In her room. She mentioned reading, but that was a while ago. Knowing that girl, she's already fast asleep."
Rick simply nods. Were it any other night, he would want to know all about their evening, but he just can't muster it right now.
"What's on your mind? You've been off ever since that guy was copycatting your books. Is that bothering you?"
He shakes his head, trying to find the words to explain the series of events that have brought him to this night.
"You remember Kate, my girlfriend from freshman year at Stanford?"
"Yes, nice girl who broke your heart when she disappeared off the face of the earth?"
His mother had only met Kate briefly, during what turned out to be their only Christmas break together. Martha was in a show at the time, so she wasn't around much, giving Rick more time to spend with Kate and her parents. But Martha did manage to have lunch with them the Friday before Christmas, and she'd gushed to him for days about how lovely Kate was and how different she was from his other girlfriends.
"That's the one. Turns out she's in the city. She's the homicide detective I worked with on the case."
"But I thought she was going to be a lawyer?"
"So did I. Turns out, her mom was killed the day after I went back to Stanford. She stayed here and dealt with that-her dad turned to the bottle."
The words have no life to them. They've run through his head numerous times in the days since Kate explained her situation to him, but he has yet to find a way of repeating them that sounds the way he wants them to.
"Oh, that poor girl!"
"You won't be saying that in a minute, not when I tell you that you have another granddaughter."
"What did you just say?"
"Turns out she hit the trifecta-her mom died, alcoholic father, and she found out she was pregnant-all in a month's time."
He watches her expression, wants to see her initial reaction as opposed to the one she'll throw on in the hopes of helping him deal with this information. Until now, he's been trying to deal with it on his own.
"Is that why she never contacted you-she had a child with another man?"
"No."
"Son, what exactly are you trying to tell me here? It's late, I'm tired, and I'm missing something."
"Kate had a daughter, about eight months later. She's my daughter, too. Her name's Jo-short for Johanna."
He watches Martha's reaction closely. She goes from shock to anger to understanding, but he can't tell whose situation she understands more, his or Kate's.
"That's where I was tonight-at Kate's meeting my daughter. Your granddaughter."
Martha's hand covers her mouth, and she tries in vain to hold in the tears. "You said her name's-"
"Johanna, but she goes by Jo. That was Kate's mom's name."
Martha's hand covers her mouth again, and she gives him a sideways glance. "And how are you taking this?"
"I don't know. I'm angry at Kate for not telling me about Jo. But Mom, she's…" He trails off, the appropriate words to describe Jo not coming to him. He's overwhelmed, even though he knows he's only just starting to know her.
"Who's Jo?"
The words coming from the staircase stun both of them, all four eyes turning to see Alexis standing on the landing.
"Pumpkin, I thought you were asleep."
"Uh huh, Dad. You're not going to change the subject and evade the question. Who's Jo?"
Sometimes his thirteen year old gave him fits. Alexis shouldn't-at least not at this age-recognize his evasion tactics so well. He waves her down into the living room, and Martha stands at the same time, telling him "I'll leave you two to it."
He really didn't want to do this tonight, not when he's already strung out over the events of the night. But he can't deny Alexis any longer, and he knows that keeping this information from her will only make matters worse the longer it goes on.
"Why do I get the feeling that Jo isn't your new golfing buddy?" she asks as she sits down next to him in her pajamas, her long red hair in a braid down the middle of her back.
"She is not a golfing buddy, no."
"It must be serious if Gram left us alone to talk." A beat of time passes before her awareness kicks in and her expression turns to one of shock with a little bit of disgust added in. "God, Dad. Did you get this girl pregnant?"
He stands up, electing to pace as opposed to meeting Alexis's disappointed gaze any longer. "The fact that you're not entirely off base in your accusation is exactly why I wasn't looking forward to this conversation."
"You did! Geez, Dad, this is embarrassing."
He stops his pacing to see the look on her face, and he crosses the floor back to the couch immediately. He's horrible at this, doesn't know how to explain the situation to her in a way that doesn't make him sound like a dead-beat dad, even though it's not his fault.
"Just...listen. Before you start jumping to conclusions and passing judgments on dear old Dad, listen to what I have to say."
She straightens up and trains her eyes on his while she waits for him to find the right way to explain this whole thing.
"Jo isn't some girl I got pregnant. She's your sister. Your older sister."
Alexis's eyes go wide, and he knows immediately that if she wasn't awake before, she certainly is now.
"Please tell me you haven't been hiding her away somewhere, going off to visit her when you say you're going away on book signing trips."
"I almost wish that were the case," he says with a chuckle, but quickly realizing how bad that sounds. "I mean, that would be easier to explain. Unfortunately, I only found out about Jo a couple days ago. I met her for the first time tonight."
"And you're sure she's yours, Dad. Seriously, these people could just be looking for money."
"I'm more than sure, Honey."
"Can you be? Really? Because the fan sites say-"
"What have I told you about going on the fan sites?" he reminds her, getting into the heart of why he was dreading this conversation with her. His love life is the absolute last thing he wants to be discussing with his thirteen year old daughter. And he can only imagine what kind of rumors and flat out lies are circulating on those web sites. He really should pay more attention to what's being said on them, but he never really had a reason to until now.
"They have to get their information from somewhere."
"Maybe, but I'd rather you get your information from me, not some rag that is paid to boost my public image by Black Pawn."
"You really want me to come ask you who your flavor of the week is?" she asks, leaning back against the back of the couch.
"This is awkward," he responds, not sure how he's supposed to answer that. "There are some things I'd rather not discuss with my teenage daughter. Let's just leave it at that, okay?"
"And yet, we kind of have to. Turns out I have a sister, and you were going to tell me about how you could be so sure before we got side-tracked."
"Yeah," he agrees in an attempt to buy himself some time. "I had a run-in with an old girlfriend the other day. In fact, she was the lead detective on that case I was called in for last week."
"An old girlfriend? But if this girl is older than me, then that means-"
"Freshman year at Stanford. I'm sure I probably mentioned her at some point."
"Kate, right?"
Rick nods and lets Alexis process, sees the small amount of anger she held dissipate. He's told Alexis about Kate a couple times before, given her the PG version of their relationship and how heartbroken he was when she disappeared.
"She's Jo's mom. She was born about eight months after I saw Kate the last time."
He has a hard time trying to stay neutral about it, only giving Alexis facts he knows with certainty. Just like he wants to get to know Jo and be involved in her life, he hopes the same can happen with Jo and Alexis. And if that's going to happen, he has to do his best to keep the anger he feels toward Kate from transferring to Jo.
"So you're sure she's yours because?"
"I went over to Kate's tonight for dinner and met her. She looks a lot like Kate, but she has my eyes."
"Lots of people have blue eyes, Dad. That doesn't mean they're all your kids."
"That's not what I meant," he huffs as he finds it more difficult to not tell her the whole story. Hell, he doesn't even know the whole story. He knows most of it, but he suspects Kate is still holding out on him, that there's more she could tell him that would calm him down and reassure him. "The timing is right. And I trust her."
"You trust the woman who left you, disappeared without a trace, and conveniently forgot to tell you about the daughter you fathered? She sounds like such a trustworthy person."
"I need you to trust me on this. Jo is my daughter, your sister. She wants to meet you, actually."
Something shifts in Alexis's demeanor, and he sees that she's probably starting to see what this could mean for her, that this could be a good thing. Meredith has never been around much, and as much as he knows Alexis loves her Gram, there's definitely a generation gap there. And he definitely doesn't understand the mind of a teenage girl, especially what it means to raise one. He hopes, if nothing else, that Alexis and Jo can become sisters and friends, even in the face of the unconventional way their family is developing.
"Can we wait on that? At least a few days?" she asks, her voice low and apprehensive.
"Sure, Pumpkin. I didn't want to plan anything until I'd talked to you anyway. And I think it might take some doing to get everyone's schedules to agree."
Alexis nods her agreement, then slaps his knee a couple times before standing and stretching. "If that's all the life-changing news you have tonight, I think I'm going to bed." She makes it to the stairs before stopping and turning around to address him again. "You going to be OK, Dad?"
"Yeah," he shifting around on the couch so that his arm rests on the back of the seat. "Don't worry about me. I'll figure it out. 'Night, Pumpkin. I love you."
"Love you, too, Dad."
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