Day 6: Day of Angst

As soulmates, they shared each other's pain. [The summer before junior year.]

Warnings: Mentions of Child abuse, Ableism, and self-harm.

For angst Day I could only think of Smarkle angst, not Rialaya angst.

Credit to AuburnRed (archive of our own, ) for the idea of Jennifer abusing Stuart and Farkle, go read her series 'The Minkaid'.

Credit to artsypikedhair (archeieve of our own) for the idea of Smackle having been abused of her Asperger's.

My thing is that even if Farkle doesn't have Asperger's, he could still be on the autism spectrum. Like me having been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, just before I started high school, explained so many things.

This takes place before 'lips like licorice' and after 'In New York You Can Be A New Man', but it could also stand alone.

Since they were soulmates, and they obviously liked each other, Farkle and Smackle knew that they would be together. Platonic soulmates were a bad thing for betas, well that's what the stereotype, especially now that you could meet people over the internet, because surely it would even easier to tell if someone said your soulmate words. They were the lucky ones, having been at least friends since middle school, which wasn't entirely normal for soulmates, but they were Smarkle. As betas, and intellectuals, they needed to stick together. It was fitting, really, that they would end up with each other when they both ended up with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Of course, Smackle has Asperger's, while they didn't entirely know what Farkle had.

If there ever was an abusive mothers club, they were it. Jennifer was just messed up, while her mother disguised her psychopathy as wanting her darling Isadora to be prim and proper. There was so many times she was yelled at, even hit when she didn't do anything wrong. It was better for her to be more interested in science then in boys, as science alone wouldn't get her pregnant or taint her for her soulmate. [Smackle understood if you didn't meet your soulmate in high school, but those were the values instilled in her by her mother.]

Even then, she knew that she had memories that were blocked for whatever reason. Farkle didn't expect her to be able to unblock (or want to unblock) them, but he helped her learn to be affectionate with people other than her father, whom she didn't see very often. She wasn't fully there yet, but she was getting a lot better.

As soulmates, the crave to bond was strong, though they wanted to wait until they were read. And the summer before junior year of high school, they were. Bonding was achieved by your soulmarks touch during the act of sexual intercourse. Farkle's soulmark for Smackle was on the left side of his ribcage, and hers was on the left side of her back, so bonding was very easy to do in certain positions. It was easy for them to wait until they were ready to bond because neither of them had ever had good experiences with sex.

Smackle's gestational parent (she couldn't be called a mother) had employed her various boyfriends when Smackle got too 'out of hand' with her sensory issues and tantrums from a young age. Though some of them had refused to do what her mother wanted, so she did it herself. It had gradually progressed from just hitting, spanking and yelling to being other things.

Farkle knew what Smackle had gone through all too well. Jennifer was just like Smackle's mother, just with more alcohol and drugs in her system. It had taken too long for Farkle to be taken away from Jennifer and placed in Stuart's custody because she had lied about Stuart being the aggressor, and it was her word against his while Farkle was unconscious after he attempted to kill himself when he was 13.

The content of Smackle's home life was ignored countless times (her father tried so hard to protect his little girl from the monster attacking her) based on Smackle's nationality, income level, and the fact that Mr. Smackle didn't like with his ex and daughter, coupled with the fact that Smackle usually wore long sleeves and already had trouble communicating because of her Asperger's.

It was only after the 'Minkus v Minkus' (because Stuart and Jennifer were divorced) and 'Minkus v Basset' (after Stuart and Jennifer were divorced, this time after her whole family except for her mother) cases were publicized, and after the Minkus' were on Ellen with the Matthews' uncle Eric and his old friend Jack (Eric had never married or anything, while Jack had also had an abusive wife), did they look more closely at Smackle's home life. She couldn't even live with her Father because of some document that her mother had falsified. Stuart was fostering her, because at least his son had found his soulmate. (Jennifer had never been Stuart's soulmate, he had words on his back and nobody to show for it.)

What was interesting about Farkle and Smackle was that they didn't find out they were soulmates until after he had tried to kill himself, which was never heard of before. Despite that, Smackle had always had her soulmark for Farkle. Smackle had come to visit Farkle in the hospital. She brought flowers, sudoku, and fat pencils, normally for kids just learning how to write, but they would help playing sudoku hurt Farkle's wrists less until he healed.

"My life would be considerably empty without you, Farkle." She had said, placing her hand on one of his. The left side of Farkle's ribcage started to tingle. He leaned his head up closer to her, unsure of what exactly to say. Smackle leaned in, closing the gap as she kissed him. "I don't know what I would do without you, Smackle." Farkle whispered, not realizing until later that he had gained a new soulmark, alongside the one he already had for Riley, his platonic soulmate.

Just as she had stood by him, Farkle stayed by Smackle's side. He didn't survive (albit with scars going up the length of his forearms) for nothing. He was appalled when her learned that her mother's actions were derived from the fact that she had asperger's. Jennifer had always been a bad person, even before Farkle came along.

Trying to help Smackle was the only reason why Farkle had agreed to go on the Ellen show in the first place. Abusive women were more common than ever, and yet they were still being ignored. As if it fair to their husbands or wives, it definitely wasn't fair to their children.

~***GMW***~

Farkle had went to Smackle after he heard her having a nightmare. He held her close, rubbing her back while mumbling sweet things in her ear. "Farkle… Farkle… Farkle…" Smackle mumbled, shaking a little bit. Farkle held her tight, trying to let her sleeping body know that he was protecting it.

When she whimpered, Farkle knew that Smackle was waking up. "It's alright Isabear." He whispered, kissing her forehead before running his fingers through her hair. Smackle glanced at Farkle, still recovering from her nightmare. "I know what I want to change my first name to now." She told Farkle. With Topanga's help, they had successfully gotten Smackle emancipated. She only wanted to change her first name since her mother had picked it out. Smackle was her father's last name, and he had picked out her middle name. (Martha, yes, after Martha Washington.)

Farkle looked at Smackle. "What do you want to change your name to?" He asked her. Smackle smiled at Farkle. "Just Isabelle. That way I can still keep all my nicknames, and the name wasn't given to me by someone who hurt me." She explained. "Sounds perfect." Farkle agreed. "We'll tell Topanga tomorrow." Smackle nodded. "Ok." She agreed, snuggling into Farkle.

~***GMW***~

After they consummated their relationship (and bonded as soulmates), Smackle and Farkle had continued to have an intimate relationship. It was healing,for them to be together like that. Not only was it a big step in the relationship, but also in their healing process. They were very careful. Farkle always wore a condom, and Smackle took her birth control pills like she was supposed to.

But in the middle of July, halfway to junior year, Smackle fell ill. It didn't go away, and started to get other symptoms, so frightened, she went to Farkle. "Farkle dearest," Smackle swallowed the bile threatening to come up from her throat. "Yes dear?" Farkle asked her, concerned. "Could you get a pregnancy test?" Smackle blurted out."I taste purple." She said before she fainted.

When smackle came to, she was lying in a hospital bed. "I'm sorry Smack. I just got really scared, so I had my dad drive us to the hospital." Farkle held her hand. "It's alright dearest." Smackle whispered. "Have any doctors been in here yet?" She asked Farkle. Farkle chewed on his lip. "Yes, they have." He couldn't hold it in any longer. "You're pregnant, only four weeks along at most." Farkle was almost prepared for Smackle to faint again. "I understand. Is your father upset?" Smackle asked Farkle.

"He's not upset, just worried about you, Isabear. We both are." Farkle held Smackle in his arms. Their world has been turned upside down.

A month later the product of their love was ripped away from them. That's why their friends thought that it was just a pregnancy scare.

I believe that even without this, Smackle is sort of a private person, and as close as Farkle is to Riley and Maya, Farkle wouldn't betray Smackle's trust by telling them.

Plus with all the things, they've been through, they would need a little more time to grieve.