Sometimes, when Elena lies awake in Damon's arms, she thinks over what she has done, or more specifically, who she has killed. One in particular. With that one selfish act, she killed a fifth – easily more - of the vampire population on this Earth. And it's on cold nights like these, when the heat of Damon's body and his love isn't enough to drive out the shard of ice in her heart, she wonders what would have happened if she didn't kill him. If she had made that deal she was oh so tempted to. And in times, when she's sick of all the drama she lets herself be deluded into thinking that if the deal was made, he would happily accompany her around the world and anywhere that wasn't Mystic Falls. But he is nothing. He is dead.
(She sometimes thinks she died in that kitchen with him)