I hate my life. It was a string of words that replayed endlessly every day. It very well could have been his motto, or catchphrase. The words repeating over and over again like a mantra. Or maybe more of a litany. And fuck Tsunade for forcing him to take Advanced Literature as a course! He slept through that mother fucking class every day! And still he managed to learn shit! It was like he was absorbing it through osmosis or something. And there it fucking was again! How the hell do I even know a word like 'osmosis'?!

He ground his teeth as several locks of silver fell in his face. Hidan viciously ran his hand through his hair, corralling the rampant strands back into place with a snarl. Jashin damn it all! Even my fucking hair is against me today! He was so far beyond pissed it wasn't even funny. First that lovely wake-up, a completely redundant cold shower, then the pouring down rain on the walk to school -without a coat or umbrella, mind- and arriving late to get detention, then the ruination -dammit! There it was again!- of the homework he did do thanks to Team Asshole, and another detention from his teacher for failing to turn in his work! And now his hair! The one thing on a day-to-day basis that he had total control over, and it was staging a fucking rebellion!

That did it. Hidan had skipped straight over pissed and gone right to the scary side of bitchy. Students around the albino started inching further away, wary of the pure, get-the-fuck-out-of-my-damn-way scary-as-hell aura he was emitting. The end-bell for the class rang and Hidan stalked through the student body, the crowd parting like the red sea for Moses. This was not a day to fuck with Hidan Yuu! Of course, there just had to be a few students that had a death wish, and Hidan was bound to run into them.

And run into one of them he did. Hard.

"Ow. Fucking dammit! Watch where the hell you're going, asshole!" he shouted as he landed hard on his ass. His backpack came off his shoulder and slid down the hall and his hair was in his face...again. He swiped his hand through the rogue locks, with no little contempt for the several silver strands he ripped out with the motion, so as to effectively glare up at the brick wall impersonating a human that had run into him.

Kakuzu Kokoro stared down at him emotionlessly, one eyebrow raised, "You ran into me, Snowflake."

Hidan glowered and stuck his hand out, "Shut the fuck up and help me up, bastard. It was your fault."

That stuck-up eyebrow managed to raise even further, "Look at that, you actually managed an entire sentence without single a curse word. Didn't hurt yourself, I hope."

It was the wrong thing to say. The albino leveled him with a glare that even Itachi Uchiha couldn't hope to match, and snarled, "Oh, my fucking Jashin. Does the sheer over-abundance of your arrogance come naturally, or do you actually have to fucking work at it?"

The older teen looked at him with clear surprise, "That was an awful lot of big words for someone failing their Literature class."

"I know!" Hidan exploded, "It's like it's invading my fucking brain! I sleep through that class every single day and it still gets in! It's like the teacher is raping my fucking ear! I just try to get some Jashin-damned sleep and here I end up learning shit! It's a pain in the ass!"

The masked teen rolled his eyes, "Get up, Snowflake. I don't have time to listen to your pissing and bitching. Some of us plan to make something of ourselves."

Hidan swept up from the floor in a surprising and fluid movement without using his hands and stood toe-to-toe with Kakuzu, amethyst eyes flashing fire. He raised his hand and poked the miser in the chest, "Listen here, fuck face. I'll elucidate thoroughly so as to better improve your comprehension of the situation as it stands. It. Was. Your. Fucking. Fault!" each solo word was punctuated by another poke to the chest.

The larger teen growled and swiped the other's hand away, grabbing him by his collar and lifting him off the floor, "Do. Not. Touch. Me." each of his words accompanied by a rough shake.

The Jashinist scowled down at him from his lofty new view, "Hit me. I fucking dare you. You could use a good ass-whooping, and none of your little side-kicks are here to help you this time."

Just as the miser was about to oblige the younger male, the crowd parted to reveal a man with gravity-defying gray hair and even more of his face hidden than Kakuzu, "Now, now. No fighting in the halls. Come on, everyone get to your classes."

Kakuzu threw Hidan to the ground, "This isn't over, Snowflake." he growled before turning and stomping away.

Hidan got up off the floor again, in the more conventional way, angrily swung his bag back up on his shoulder, and hollered after the taller boy, "You bet your fucking ass it isn't!"

Kakashi-sensei shook his head, "Now, Hidan..."

He closed his eyes and stalked past the teacher, "Yeah, yeah, I know: detention. Right?"

Kakashi gave him an eye-smile, "I don't think it would be very fair of me to give my students detention for being late when I'm hardly the pinnacle of punctuality myself."

Hidan snorted at the very thought of 'Kakashi' and 'punctual' being in the same sentence together. He glanced up at the scarecrow warily, "Fucking point. But I meant about the fight."

The older man shrugged loftily, "Odd, I didn't see a fight."

"Che, whatever." Hidan hesitated a moment before forging ahead, "I, uh, noticed you haven't yet corrected me on my damn cussing, either."

"You seem to have a rather extensive vocabulary, I don't see how it's my business what use you make of it."

The irreverent teen scoffed again, "You might see a hell of alot more if you didn't go around with one eye covered all the damn time, idiot."

"True. But then, I should think you rather like my visionary skills the way they are, Hidan-kun."

Hidan paused in his steps for a moment, causing the teacher to pull ahead, before hurrying to catch up, "It was a statement of fact, Kakashi-sensei, not a suggestion."

"I rather thought so. Come now, let's get to class."

Hidan stared in horror at his Human Relations' teacher. He raised his hand and didn't bother waiting for the teacher to call on him, "Tell me you're fucking kidding me!"

Asuma-sensei glared at him, "No cursing in school, Yuu. And no, I assure you I'm very serious. You will each be assigned a partner and an egg for the next two weeks."

Hidan slammed his head on his desk, reveling in the pain, and did it again two more times in an attempt to wake himself up from what was so obviously a very bad nightmare. There was just no way possible that the teachers hated him that much. Then again, this was Asuma-sensei, the man had hated his guts from the very first day. Yes, he decided, it was, in fact, possible for the teacher to screw him over that badly.

Hidan drew his attention back to the bearded man as he continued explaining, "I have a ballot box here with everyone's name in it. I will draw lots to see who gets paired up with who."

A female student in the back raised her hand, "Um, sensei?"

"Yes, Konan-san?"

"Er, what if you draw the name of two girls or two boys?"

The teacher shrugged, "I don't teach nor encourage discrimination in this class. Who you get is who you get, end of discussion." he reached his hand in the box, "First person of the first pair: Sasori Akasuna. Second person of the first pair: Hiruko Haruko."

Hidan winced and glanced over to the redhead that was shooting daggers at his partner. Just great, if Sasori doesn't kill him, Dei will for making 'moves' on his boyfriend. Hmm, which would be worse: being embalmed alive, or being blown into a million pieces?

"Fourth pair: Konan Tenshi, and Pein Daiki."

Hidan rolled his eyes. Yeah, they'll definitely need the practice, sucking each others' face off as much as they do. Won't be too much longer before they have the real thing.

"Seventh pair: Hidan Yuu, and Kakuzu Kokoro."

The albino's eyes became the size of dinner plates. NOOO! Fuck, why does the universe hate me? Why?! Just what I fucking need, an all-day every-day pass for him to kick my ass. I don't get enough of it everyday from eight to four and six to midnight; monday to friday, no: let's make it twenty-four-seven.

Hidan stared straight ahead and refused to glance over to see the death-glares his 'partner' was giving him. He failed to see the raised hand until the teacher spoke, "Yes, Kakuzu-san?"

"Sensei, while I admire the goal of this assignment, I don't think I can work with my assigned partner. Is there any way to switch or pick again?"

Yes! Please, for the love of Jashin, say we can fucking switch!

Asuma shook his head, "I'm afraid not, you will just have to find a way to get along. This assignment counts for a quarter of your grade, so I suggest trying to work together." Hidan sighed as the bell rang, and was almost to the door when the teacher spoke again, "We'll finish the teams tomorrow, and then you can all pick up your eggs. I suggest you all get to know your partners this afternoon while you don't have an egg. Have a good day. Dismissed."

There wasn't a doubt in the albino's mind that the miser was going to follow him everywhere just to drive him insane. Okay, insaner. He was hardly the icon of superb mental health to begin with.

And sure enough, as soon as he closed his locker door after getting his books for the next period, he had to hold himself back from having a heart attack at seeing the partially masked face behind the locker door as he closed it. His heart skipped a beat and he jumped, "Holy Jashin! Make some fucking noise, will you? I hardly think you'll pass the damn assignment if you kill your partner."

Though the other's mouth wasn't visible, he got the distinct impression of a smirk, even if it wasn't present in his voice, "Don't be such a whiny bitch. I was told we were to follow one another, and that's what I'm doing."

"Would you jump off a fucking bridge if you were told to?" he snarled, ill-tempered at being surprised.

"Not unless there was money involved."

Hidan had to literally bite his lip to keep from snapping out 'You wouldn't fucking breathe if money wasn't involved!' He managed to hold it in, barely. He knew for a fact that he was already in for a beating for mouthing off this morning, he really didn't need to be adding to it at this point. Right now, Kakuzu was more or less entertained by his startlement, but as soon as he started dissing the miser's money, he knew he'd really be in for it.

Hidan let out a frustrated sound, "Just... give me ten minutes." he reached into his pocket and pulled out some money, "Here, I'll pay you ten dollars to leave me alone for ten minutes."

Kakuzu took the money and started counting, glancing at his partner, "I'm counting."

The albino breathed a sigh of relief and walked a few yards away, taking out his phone. What he failed to know was that Kakuzu had far better hearing than most others, and his conversation wasn't half as private as he thought. The pale teen held his phone to his ear, "Hey, Dei, good to hear your voice." Kakuzu was shocked, he had never seen Hidan's face in anything less than a frown, to his more common scowl. A smile completely transformed the pale teen's entire countenance.

"Yeah, sorry, I can't make it. No, it's nothing like that. You'll never guess what happened to me. No. You know that Jashin-damned stupid egg-care thing every student has to go through at one point or another? Yeah, and just try to guess my fucking partner. Half right, it's the miser, Kakuzu. Yeah, one and the same. I-I don't know. All I know is that I'm going to keep him away from the house, otherwise we're both fucked. Don't I know it? And the police are already likely to fish one body out of the river tomorrow, what with Sasori being paired up with Hiruko. I'm pretty sure he's plotting to visit Gaara with him and get the shukaku to kill his ass. I know, I actually had to pay him ten bucks just to get ten minutes to talk to you, and- Tsunade?!

"What the hell are you doing on Dei's phone? Oh, yeah, that'll go over shiningly on your permanent record: beating up a high school student for being an opportunistic, penny-pinching cheap ass. I can fight my own damn battles, thank you very much, as you should very well know. Neechan, calm the fuck down before I hang up on you, and you know that I fucking will. 'Then you'd have custody of me, I'd live with you, and not get bullied or hurt, and Dei, Tobi and I would all be in the same school district.' yeah, I know both sides of this whole conversation, Tsunade-nee. Unfortunately, we aren't actually related.

"You mean besides the sandwiches at your place, the banana split you made us, and my usual fare of teriyaki beef jerky? Not a damn thing. 'Not enough for a still developing teen, especially one in my position, and especially one in my position with the things I do.' I know both sides of that argument, too. Shall we go right into the next set about my coping mechanisms, or can we drop it already? I only have three minutes left. I'm not listening to your bitching anymore. You know what? Put Tobi on the damn phone.

"Hey, Tobi. Yeah, it was great. No one cooks like you, and yes, you're a good boy. That would be great, and help get Tsunade-nee off my fucking back. Tell her and Dei that I can't come over with the ball and chain my partner is, and I sure as fuck ain't taking him anywhere near my place. Tell me about it, I don't know if I can make it a whole week without you three. I have to figure out how the hell I'm going to get him to take the thing in the evenings. Yeess. Now, how many days a week can I avoid fights? That's right, and how many of those days when I actually go to school? 'Ohhh.' is right; not a single fucking one. Damn, I'm running out of time. Put the bitch- no, I don't really mean it, it's more like an endearment; a nickname- back on the phone.

"Hey, Tsunade-nee, take care of them for me. I'll try and see you around monday night if I can. Yeah, I know. Without our usual trip to 7Sins, I've got shit for money this month. What the fuck do you mean? Why would you waste money on me like that? Well, because- I mean- You- Fuck it! Oh, shut it, you bitch." Hidan's cheeks lit up in a spectacular blush, "Dammit, quit laughing! Y-yeah, I, you, you, too, I guess. Fuck you! I can too say the fucking words! I-I love you, too. There! Now shut up! Take care of our brothers and I'll try to take care of myself. I know it's futile to say this, but try not to worry about me. Yeah, put me on speaker, and I swear this is the absolute last time I'm saying the Jashin-damned words.

"Hey, twerps. Take care of our sister and don't let her worry herself into the ground over me. And... I love you all. I'll talk to you all later. Bye."

The albino hung up and stared down at his phone for a few seconds before putting it in his pocket and making the trek back to his partner. The miser glanced up from his money, "That was ten minutes and thirty seconds."

"Fuck you, I ain't giving your greedy ass a cent more, bastard."

Hidan couldn't take it anymore and let out a frustrated sound, "Just... give me ten minutes." he reached into his pocket and pulled out some money he'd kept for just this purpose, "Here, I'll pay you ten dollars to leave me alone for ten minutes."

Kakuzu took the money and started counting, glancing at his partner, "I'm counting."

The albino breathed a sigh of relief and walked a few yards away, taking out his phone. Glancing back at the miser once to ensure he wasn't looking his way or attempting to eavesdrop, not that he could at this distance, the pale teen held his phone to his ear, "Hidan, un!"

A smile lit his face, "Hey, Dei, good to hear your voice." And it really was. The horrors of the school day just fell away when he spoke to his friends.

"What happened, un? You aren't at the meeting spot."

"Yeah, sorry, I can't make it."

"Is it your father, un?"

"No, it's nothing like that. You'll never guess what happened to me."

"Did you get suspended, un?"

Hidan rolled his eyes, but acknowledged the veracity of the guess, "No."

"Good, un, I was worried for a minute."

"You know that Jashin-damned stupid egg-care thing every student has to go through at one point or another?"

"They're making you do that? Now? We're high schoolers, un."

"Yeah, and just try to guess my fucking partner."

"Not one of them, un?"

"Half right, it's the miser, Kakuzu."

"The one that stitched himself up because he didn't want to pay for the hospital?" his shock actually making him forget to add his signature 'un'.

"Yeah, one and the same."

Worry was evident in Deidara's voice, "What are you going to do about your father, un?"

"I-I don't know. All I know is that I'm going to keep him away from the house, otherwise we're both fucked."

"Literally, un."

"Don't I know it? And the police are already likely to fish one body out of the river tomorrow, what with Sasori being paired up with Hiruko. I'm pretty sure he's plotting to visit Gaara with him and get the shukaku to kill his ass."

"Freaky, un. Sasori-danna actually texted me about something just like that. Hey! Maybe you could pay him to just leave you alone if he likes money so much, un."

"I know, I actually had to pay him ten bucks just to get ten minutes to talk to you, and-"

A female voice snapped across the line, "He what?!"

"Tsunade?!"

"Who else, brat?"

"What the hell are you doing on Dei's phone?" he was ignored in favor of a rant about the things Tsunade was going to do to Kakuzu. Hidan scoffed, "Oh, yeah, that'll go over shiningly on your permanent record: beating up a high school student for being an opportunistic, penny-pinching cheap ass. I can fight my own damn battles, thank you very much, as you should very well know."

"I'm going to go to his damn house and shatter every breakable object I see! I'm going to get Tobi to hack into his bank records and clean out his goddamned accounts!"

"Neechan, calm the fuck down before I hang up on you, and you know that I fucking will."

"I wish I really was your big sister! Then-"

" 'Then you'd have custody of me, I'd live with you, and not get bullied or hurt, and Dei, Tobi and I would all be in the same school district.' yeah, I know both sides of this whole conversation, Tsunade-nee. Unfortunately, we aren't actually related."

A sigh came over the line, "I know. And if wishes were fishes, we'd all be drowning in the slippery little bastards. So, what all have you eaten this week?"

"You mean besides the sandwiches at your place, the banana split you made us, and my usual fare of teriyaki beef jerky? Not a damn thing."

"Dammit, Hidan, you know that that's not-"

" 'Not enough for a still developing teen, especially one in my position, and especially one in my position with the things I do.' I know both sides of that argument, too. Shall we go right into the next set about my coping mechanisms, or can we drop it already?"

Another sigh, "We can skip it. But you really need to come over so I can check you over. I need to take out your stitches and-"

"I only have three minutes left. I'm not listening to your bitching anymore."

"Hidan! This isn't senseless bitching! Dammit, I'm worried about you!"

"You know what? Put Tobi on the damn phone."

"Hidan-sempai!"

"Hey, Tobi."

"Did Hidan-sempai like the lunch Tobi made?"

"Yeah, it was great. No one cooks like you, and yes, you're a good boy."

A happy squeal made him wince but smile, "Yay! Would Hidan-sempai like Tobi to make another one for Hidan-sempai?"

"That would be great, and help get Tsunade-nee off my fucking back. Tell her and Dei that I can't come over with the ball and chain my partner is, and I sure as fuck ain't taking him anywhere near my place."

"Tobi will tell them. Tobi will miss you, Hidan-sempai."

"Tell me about it, I don't know if I can make it a whole week without you three."

"How will Hidan-sempai take care of Hidan-sempai's eggy-chan? Will Kakuzu-san help?"

"I have to figure out how the hell I'm going to get him to take the thing in the evenings."

"But, but, isn't Hidan-sempai going to take care of eggy-chan, too? Eggy-chan needs you!"

"Yeess." he said, stretching out the answer. "Now, how many days a week can I avoid fights?" he asked like a teacher to a particularly slow child.

"Hidan-sempai can avoid fights three days a week, usually. Tobi remembers!"

"That's right, and how many of those days when I actually go to school?"

"None of- ohhh. Tobi sees."

" 'Ohhh.' is right; not a single fucking one. Damn, I'm running out of time. Put the bitch-" a gasp sounded and he quickly amended his statement, "no, I don't really mean it, it's more like an endearment; a nickname- back on the phone."

"Tobi will give the phone back to Tsunade-sama!"

Hidan breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the elder blonde's voice, "Hey, brat."

"Hey, Tsunade-nee, take care of them for me. I'll try and see you around monday night if I can."

"Wait, monday? What about sunday? Hidan, you can't possibly be set for the month."

"Yeah, I know. Without our usual trip to 7Sins, I've got shit for money this month."

"Listen, I thought something like this might happen someday: you not being able to go for whatever reason. I set up a bank account for you in your name with some money in it."

"What the fuck do you mean? Why would you waste money on me like that?"

"Because as annoying as you have the potential to be, you're my little brother and I love you. Why shouldn't I do everything in my power to take care of you?"

"Well, because- I mean- You- Fuck it!"

Tsunade's warm laughter came through the line, "Cat got your tongue, Hi-chan?"

"Oh, shut it, you bitch." Tsunade laughed harder. Hidan's cheeks lit up in a spectacular blush, "Dammit, quit laughing!"

"Okay, okay. But seriously, it was thanks to you that I had some of that money in the first place. You deserve to be taken care of, Hidan, like every child. I chose to be that person because I love you."

"Y-yeah, I, you, you, too, I guess."

The laughter again, "Shy, Hidan-chan? Can't you say the words?"

"Fuck you! I can too say the fucking words! I-I love you, too. There! Now shut up!"

A small chuckle followed his outburst, "Take care of yourself, otouto."

"Take care of our brothers and I'll try to take care of myself. I know it's futile to say this, but try not to worry about me."

"You're right: it is futile. Would you like me to put you on speaker-phone to say good bye?"

"Yeah, put me on speaker, and I swear this is the absolute last time I'm saying the Jashin-damned words."

"Uh-huh, sure it is." there was a moment of silence, "Okay, brat, you're on."

"Hidan, un!"

"Hidan-sempai!"

A soft smile overtook Hidan's face at their voices, "Hey, twerps. Take care of our sister and don't let her worry herself into the ground over me. And... I love you all. I'll talk to you all later. Bye."

"Bye, un!"

"Later, brat."

"Bye-bye, Hidan-sempai, bye-bye!"

Hidan hung up and stared down at the phone in his hand for a moment. Bye, you three. I'll miss you, take care of each other. I love you.

With a final sigh, he put the mobile in his pocket and turned to walk back towards his partner. The miser glanced up from his money, "That was ten minutes and thirty seconds."

Hidan scowled at the cheap ass, "Fuck you, I ain't giving your greedy ass a cent more, bastard."

He had already paid money for something he shouldn't have had to, now the prick had the audacity to say he should give him more. Money-grubbing bastard. Hidan stuffed his hands in his pockets, ignoring the pain in his wrists at the action, and fingered the keychain pendant in his right pocket to calm himself down.

Hidan made it through the door to the flat and was immediately assaulted by someone with an orange mask, "Hidan-sempai!"

Hidan patted the shorter teen's head, "Hey, Tobi."

Deidara looked up from whatever he was messing with by the microwave, "Hidan, un, what are you doing here?"

"I managed to give my 'partner' the slip, and, given the choice of getting the shit beat out of me and delaying said beating, chose to come here."

"Sweet, un. Would you like something to drink?"

"What have you got?"

"We have soda and canned tea, as usual, un. There's hot coco in the cupboard. Oh! And I'm making myself some butterbeer, un."

"No! Jashin, I still gag when I think about the last time you poured that shit down my throat. It's sweet enough to gag a fucking maggot. I'm not touching the stuff ever again. And make sure Tobi doesn't get any."

"Yeah, yeah, un."

Hidan felt that Deidara wasn't giving his (completely justifiable) concerns the attention they so aptly deserved, "I'm serious, Dei! If you so much as even think about offering to make any for Tobi, Jashin help me, I'll cut off all of your fucking hair in your sleep!"

"Okay, un! No need to get violent, un!"

Hidan crossed his arms with a deadpan look, "We aren't able to eat pancakes because Tobi got drunk off the syrup, trashed the house, and fell into a sugar-induced coma for three days. And you want to introduce butterbeer to that equation?"

The pyromaniac paused, "I wouldn't want to introduce a packet of artificial sweetener to that equation, un." he muttered to himself, "Er, good point, un. But-"

"No buts. Sweetened condensed milk, butterscotch syrup, butter, and cream soda: blech! Not only is it sweet enough to give you diabetes, but even at it's fucking fizziest, cream soda still tastes flat. And I can't even begin to describe how much we really don't need a sugar-hyped Tobi." he finished, gesturing to his waist, where the masked teen still clung.

Deidara sighed, "True, un. So, what do you want?"

Hidan closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, "Just some coffee. I have a report, thing, whatever, to get done."

"Right, un. Tobi, get out a glass for Hidan, un."

The smaller teen snapped upright with a salute, "Hai, Deidara-sempai! Tobi will get the glass!"

After several minutes during which Deidara and Tobi wrestled over the mug, got sugar all over the counter, and spilled coffee over Deidara's head, Hidan was seated at the table and focused on his report. Deidara left to take a quick shower, and Tobi watched Hidan work from over his shoulder.

"Who's that?"

"Some general; Martel-something. Doesn't much matter, my report's on the tactics, not the people."

"Ohhh."

It was an hour later that Tsunade got home and saw Deidara and Hidan doing homework with Tobi watching over their shoulders, "Hey, brats."

"Hey, Tsu-chan."

"Welcome home, Neechan, un."

"Hello, Tsunade-sama!"

Tsunade glanced over Hidan's work and nodded, "Nice work, Hidan-kun."

He snorted, "Yeah, not that it matters much."

"Doing well always matters."

"Not when you're guaranteed a spot in summer school."

"That isn't true, Hidan."

"The fuck it isn't. I miss at least two days of school a week. I'm the Jashin-damned posterboy for delinquent, and I'm fairly sure our year book is going to say 'Most likely to drop out' under my photo."

"Hidan-"

"Deal with it, Neechan. The teachers hate my fucking guts! There's not a single doubt in my tiny little mind that I'm off to summer school come year-out."

"Don't say such demeaning things about yourself, Hidan. You're exceptionally smart."

"Bitch, have you seen my grade-point average?!"

She reached into a random kitchen drawer and pulled out a stack of papers that she shook in his face. "Have you seen your test scores?"

"And I reiterate, the teachers fucking hate me. Doesn't matter if my scores are perfect: my attendance is shit."

Tsunade let out a frustrated sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose with her eyes shut. She took a calming breath and looked back at the still-scowling albino, "Whatever, I'm not getting into an argument with you over this. Just come to my room when you're done so I can take out your stitches. And don't even think of leaving without coming to me, or I'll give Tobi a box of pixie sticks and lock him in a closet with you."

Hidan shuddered at the mental image, "Damn, woman, no need to resort to threats; I fucking get it,"

There was relative quiet in the house after that for almost an entire hour, until...

"Fuck!"

Tsunade glanced out her bedroom door, Hidan didn't usually use that word on it's own unless something was very wrong, preferring to use it as a modifier to other terms, "What's wrong?"

Hidan was seated on the floor in front of the two-cushion coffee table, repeatedly hitting his head off the hard surface, papers strewn everywhere. He fisted both hands, one on top of the other, rested his chin on them and growled his frustration, "Dei, next time you see your boyfriend, give him a stiff kick in the ass for me."

Deidara peeked in from the kitchen at the disaster area the living room had been turned into, "Why, un?"

"I was so out of it the other day that I forgot to take my poem/Tsunade's report on my latest injuries out of my bag. Which means I had it the other morning, you follow?"

"Uh-huh, un."

"Then Sasori clipped me outside Art and my shit went everywhere, and now I don't have it. Don't. Fucking. Have it."

Deidara stared at him like a deer caught in headlights, "W-well, was there anything incriminating on it, un?"

The Jashinist scowled at him, "Not the point. I owe that creepy bastard an asswhooping! Clip me, fine, but fucking bodyslamming me and making me lose something that important?"

"Do you remember the poem, un?"

"Dei! You kick. His. Ass. Do you hear me?"

The blonde panicked, "UN! Okay, okay, un, I'll kick Sasori-danna's ass, un!"

Which was essentially Deidara's way of saying: 'Sir, yes, sir! Un.' Hidan looked around at the mess he'd made in his fruitless paper-finding-tantrum, already envisioning Tsunade's scolding ringing in his ears. Dammit, can this day get any worse?

"Hidan, it's getting late, come into my room."

The albino's head thumped on the coffee table. Had to ask, didn't I? He sighed and got up, heading for the elder blonde's bedroom/examination room/office. Tsunade already had the scissors and things set up as he began undressing. Could have been worse. Just keep thinking positive: it could have been worse. So much worse.

Tsunade apparently saw his apprehension, "Calm down, Hidan. I just want to look at your back. You were lucky you didn't need stitches 'there' again."

He ground his teeth and nodded, "Mm-hmm." It didn't matter what Tsunade was looking at, he was never again in his life going to be comfortable having someone behind him when he was anything less than fully dressed. Throwing his cloak on the bed, Hidan leaned against Tsunade's high desk and concentrated on his breathing.

He heard the quiet 'snick snick' and felt the tugging between his shoulder blades, "Deep breaths, we've got a ways to go. It almost went down to the muscle, not that that's saying much for someone with as little body-fat as you."

His reply came from a clenched jaw, "Neechan, I appreciate the pep-talk, really. But could you please shut the fuck up?"

Tsunade didn't take offence at his venom, silently continuing to remove the twenty-six stitches she'd put across his shoulders the week before. No more than ten minutes after he'd entered the room, she pulled the last thread and covered the area in neosporin cream. Hidan sighed in relief and looked over at the small pile of bloody threads on a napkin, attempting to peek over his shoulder at his back, "Am I bleeding again?"

Tsunade removed her gloves with a 'snap' and shook her head, "No, that's from when I put them in. Try not to have anymore encounters with broken glass, alright?"

"Right, like it was my intention to drop the fucking plate. But if you think I looked bad, you should have seen the chair that was broken oven my back, nothing but splinters left, seriously."

She tossed his cloak to him, "I know, I'm the one that had to pluck them out of you."

"Hidan, un!"

They both rushed into the living room, "What?!"

"Tobi saw your dad's car going by, un!"

Panic lit the fuchsia eyes, "No! He was supposed to be late tonight!"

Deidara shoved his backpack into his arms, "Here, un. Tobi and I cleaned up the living room for you."

The shorter teen was jumping up and down by the door, "Hurry, Hidan-sempai, hurry."

He ran out without a goodbye, racing to beat his father to the house. Heart beating madly, he moved through the woods in a blur, a route he'd taken so many times it'd left a path through the trees. His lungs were screaming for air by the time the woodland around him faded to the large open wild grass field behind the house's backyard. The sun had just set and he could see the chill in the air as his breath fogged out, the cold a welcome measure to his overheated system as he leaned down with his hands on his knees to gulp air.

Taking a large breath, Hidan pushed onward, his stomach dropping to his feet when he rounded the back fence and saw the car in the driveway. His head dropped and he trudged to the door, fist trembling as he raised it to knock, knowing the door was locked as soon as his father entered the building.

Did the door open with the ominous squeak of a hinge, or was that just him? A deep voice full of concern came from somewhere over his head, "Hidan, you had me worried. Where were you?"

"J-just... out."

A sigh, "Come in, we'll discuss this inside."

"Yes, sir."

If the squeak had been in his mind, the sound the door made as it closed behind him and the lock clicking into place really were ominous. Hidan's backpack fell to the floor as his arm was twisted up behind him, causing him to stand on his toes in an attempt to lessen the pain. That same voice, lacking every facade of decency or caring, breathed in his ear, "I came home and you weren't here."

"I h-had things to- ugn- do."

His arm was twisted harshly and he felt it pop out of it's socket, "What a coincidence, I have something to do, too." Hidan couldn't suppress the shiver that went through him as he was shoved to the ground, "Go to your room."

He instinctively put his hands out to break his fall, too late to rein in the impulse, and landed heavily on his bad arm. He couldn't have screamed if he'd tried, the pain took his breath away so sharply. He struggled to his feet and made to the bedroom, shaking in reaction with trepidation wrapping chilled tendrils around his spine, before the punishment had even begun. D-dammit. Why am I so weak around him? Why am I so fucking pathetic? Why... why me? Hidan felt the wetness trying to climb in his eyes and chased it away by focusing on the pain in his shoulder. I won't cry dammit! F-fuck, it's going to be a long night.