Two days had passed since a devastated Harry Potter had floo called Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Remus was intent on keeping his promise to talk Snape into resuming his Occlumency lessons with Harry. So he was sitting in Professor Snape's office, waiting for him to return from one of his lessons.

When Severus came to his office he noticed the presence of the werewolf immediately. Outwardly he appeared calm but inwardly he was fuming. He had accepted or rather tolerated the wolf when he had been a teacher at school, not that he had a choice back then, but not even then would he have ever invited the wolf into his quarters.

"Good morning Severus," Remus greeted him and waited patiently for him to answer.

He never understood how Dumbledore could allow a werewolf near the students. Not now and not back in his own school days. With a sour expression on his face he remembered how he had found out about it, about him. And after all that Dumbledore took it for granted that he would keep quiet and provide the canine with Wofsbane potion, a very complicated potion that would allow Lupin to control himself during full moon. Lupin had never been good with potions but why he never learned how to produce that particular potion was beyond him.

Many bad memories came back to haunt him whenever the wolf was around. Pain, humiliation and most of all anger kept welling up inside of him. But he took a few deep breaths. Occluding. Lashing out at people out of shame and hurt had cost him his friendship with Lily. He still loathed Lupin and even more so Black, although he could not blame him for the death of Lily anymore. Black had been telling the truth all along and Severus had seen Pettigrew with his own eyes the night that the Dark Lord had returned. He wanted to kill the rat but his position as a spy was more important and he hoped that in the end he would get his chance at revenge.

Severus took a deep calming breath, schooling his face back to its usual inscrutable neutrality. It was rare he allowed emotion to run away with him - he did not enjoy the lack of control. That just emphasized how mad he had really been when he had found the Gryffindor gloden boy in the Pensieve. But he'd be calm now.

"Severus, please," said Lupin, his voice was heavy and serious. He assumed that the potions master wouldn't talk to him willingly so he decided to just make the first step and begin. "You must continue teaching Harry Occlumency. Harry didn't mean to violate your privacy. He most certainly didn't know it contained your personal memories. It was very wrong of course, but he saw his parents, alive. He has no real memories of his own to cling to so he couldn't resist."

So that's why the wolf was in his quarters. The brat had told him what happened. He felt rage welling up inside of him again. The Gryffindor golden boy had obviously lied to him when he had said he hadn't told anyone but that was to be expected.

"He couldn't resist?" Snape spat. "I am sure he and his friends had a lot of fun at my expense. You must feel so proud knowing that Potter follows in your footsteps."

Lupin flinched and shook his head. "Harry didn't tell us to make fun of you, no, he was furious with us… and disappointed." He looked to the ground. "He was even wondering if James had forced Lily into marriage after he had seen how they had acted towards each other." He chuckled at the end considering how ridiculous this thought was.

Snape had asked himself the exact same question time and time again. He once hurt Lily and she never forgave him, but she fell in love with the biggest bully the school had ever seen.

He also had anticipated his memories to be public knowledge the day after the incident, but obviously the boy hadn't told any of his friends what had happened. That was more than he could have hoped for although he wished he hadn't told the beast before him either.

Hearing how disappointed the boy had been with the Marauders left Severus feeling… strangely satisfied. It was a petty thought and he scolded himself for it. He had sworn to protect Lily's son and convincing him that his father was a despicable man certainly didn't align with what Lily would want. Also he had already forgiven Harry after what he had seen in the Pensieve and agreed to continue the Occlumency lessons, but apparently the man in front of him wasn't aware of that.

"What did you tell him?" Snape asked after a while.

"I beg your pardon."

"What did you tell Potter? How did you justify tormenting me without a reason? How did you justify hexing me behind my back, humiliating me in front of the whole school, attacking me while I was wandless? How did you explain four boys against one? It would be interesting to know. I'd like to know," Snape sneered although Lupin could feel the hurt that was there.

He had never given it much thought, to be honest. He had only started to feel sorry for Snape when Harry had presented his point of view. With a pained expression on his face he remembered how they had tried to make it sound like it hadn't been so bad and somehow blame it on Snape when Harry had asked them. Talking to Snape now he realized that it indeed was that bad and he felt remorse.

"It wasn't four against one," he said after a while, not answering Snape's question.

Snape just kept staring at him.

"Please, Severus, we were only children…" pleaded Lupin.

"Do you think that made it any less humiliating?" Snape spat. "Every year of my school life, day in and out, in front of as many people as possible, making my school life just as much a hell as my home life, taking the only friend I ever had away from me,…" Snape didn't realize what he was saying until it was too late.

Snape had been relieved when he found out that Harry only saw what he saw in the Pensieve and not him begging for forgiveness, him turning to the dark side and betraying and killing the only real friend he ever had. And now he made a mistake and almost told his childhood rival everything. Some spy he was.

He poured himself a glass of firewhisky, not offering Lupin one.

Lupin was stunned by Snape's outburst, if you could call it that. He had been void of any emotion as always and hadn't raised his voice but still... It hadn't made sense before, but the pieces started to fall together now. Lily. He had almost forgotten they used to be friends. And he never thought about Snape's home life but looking back he remembered him being way to short and skinny for his age and wearing clothes that didn't fit him at all.

The realization hurt. Now he understood better than ever how they had affected the broken man in front of him. And he very well understood the feeling of being alone and an outcast and the bitterness that went with these feelings. He could relate. And for Snape it wasn't just a childhood rivalry he couldn't let go. It was more, they had taken everything from him and made sure that there was no way the boy could possibly be happy.

He wondered... if they had treated him differently, would Snape have also become a Death Eater. It had been Severus' choice, of course, and it had been a very wrong one at that, but for the first time in his life Remus Lupin wondered if the Marauders were for some extent to blame for Snape's decision.

He winced and looked truthfully ashamed when he said "I'm sorry Severus, I am truly sorry. I am sorry for everything we have done to you, for any hurt I have ever caused you. James and Sirius went too far and although I saw it I did nothing to stop it. I was too insecure and scared, no terrified, I would lose the only friends I had. I was too weak and I am sorry."

Snape never knew how much he needed to hear an apology like this until that very moment. It felt good and surprisingly took some of the pain away. James and Sirius he would never be able to forgive but maybe he and the wolf could establish some sort of amity after all.

"I know you despise me as a werewolf-" Lupin continued but was interrupted by Snape laughing.

"I assure you I despise you, but most certainly not because you are a werewolf."

Remus smiled a sad smile. He never thought the person in front of him could ever look past the fact that he was this monster once a month. Apparently he could. It worried him, though, that the man did not hate him because of any prejudices he had but because of the very human being that he was. Snape had shared some of his thoughts with him, slip of the tongue or not, and Remus was intent on sharing some of his past too. If he couldn't make amends now he would probably never be able to.

"Very well. I've been attacked by a werewolf shortly before my fifth birthday and I had to live with this nightmare ever since. I was not allowed to play with other children, in case they would find out about my condition. Although I had loving parents I was a very lonely boy. My parents moved whenever someone came close to the truth. My father taught me at home. Then Dumbledore found out about me and my excitement was beyond anything I had experienced before. A dream came true when he accepted me to Hogwarts. I soon became friends with James, Sirius and Peter. I was so happy, I loved them and was grateful for their acceptance. I did not approve of their treatment of you but out of fear of losing them as friends I did not always stand up to them as much as I know I should have.

"I had already accepted that I would never find love, marry or have children but at least I had friends who accepted me the way I was. Then, after school, I lost all of my friends within one day. I have been devastated, unhappy and lonely ever since. I never found a job I could keep for a longer period of time and struggled with money.

"My condition keeps me from having a normal life, a job, friends, a family, love. And that fateful night I lost, or thought I had lost, 4 of my friends, my only friends. I am shunned by society and my life will be a short and lonely one." He sighed, indicating that he didn't believe he would survive the second war.

A while they were both silent.

"Why are you telling me this?" Snape asked with a frown but his voice had lost its edge.

"To show you that I understand at least some of your pain."

They were quiet for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

Then Snape began to talk again and later he was sure he only did so because of the firewhisky he had almost emptied during their conversation. That and because he felt tired, drained. He was sick of all the mistrust and the loneliness and the anger.

"My home life wasn't pretty. My father hated me, mostly because I was magical and he was a muggle. Hogwarts was a chance to escape this life but thanks to you and your friends it was almost worse than at home," Snape said bitterly.

Remus gulped.

"I had only one friend..." He hesitated. He wasn't sure if he should tell the man before him. "Lily... But I pushed her away when she was protecting me. I was humiliated and ashamed, and I just leashed out at her. I regretted it every day... I apologized and asked her for forgiveness but she didn't talk to me again.

"After that I was lonely and I had no one. The Death Eaters accepted me when no one else did, and the Dark Lord promised power and revenge… and a sense of belonging. Too late I realized what a mistake I had made. I learnt to occlude my mind and became a spy for the Light. I have been ever since. But apparently no one believes that," he snarled.

Remus sighed. The man in front of him had had a horrible youth and even now he couldn't find happiness or friends or even people who trusted him. At the moment, he wasn't even sure anymore who of them had the worse life. "I'm sorry." He didn't know what else he could possibly say to the man. "Maybe things will look up after war for you," he suggested.

Snape laughed. "I think, not unlike you, that it is unlikely I will survive the war, so naturally I haven't considered a future beyond," he then said without any emotion.

With distrust on both sides it was unlikely any outcome would benefit his survival.

Finally, Lupin understood.

"Well maybe we will both survive," he offered half-heartedly.

"Maybe," Severus muttered.

Again silence.

"It was wrong of me to demand from you to keep teaching Harry. It is your decision. Although I still believe it is important that he learns. It is, after all, not only his life at stake. But maybe Dumbledore can teach him. Though it might make our side trust you a little bit more if you do it."

"I will," Snape said softly.

Remus looked puzzled for a moment but then settled for a smile. "What changed your mind?"

"Let's just say I realized he has less in common with James than I previously thought."

"He is a lot like Lily, isn't he?"

Snape winced but after a while he nodded. "Yes he is," he said and walked across the room to his desk where he opened a drawer.

"I'll be leaving now," Remus said.

"Goodbye," Severus said and reached out his hand, offering a little flask of Wolfsbane to Remus. It was the one Remus had forgotten to take when Sirius had entered Hogwarts.

"Goodbye, Severus. And thank you," Remus said, taking the flask out of his hand and shaking it.

They were far from being friends, but they had reached some common ground and mutual understanding. They were both imprisoned in their own ways. But now there was hope.