A.N. Thanks pfanna for your review. I was struggling with myself because I don't want my characters to act too OOC but you're right, this story is about how knowing who Harry really is would change the course of things and therefore I have to get away from the books at least at some points and with some characters.
About Harry's childhood: I don't think it is bad enough to change anything right now. In many abused Harry stories he get's almost beaten to death or even raped… that's certainly not how I imagine his life with his relatives and removing him now where he is almost 16 and Dudley doesn't bully him anymore wouldn't change much I guess.
Oh and the incident with the Pensieve happened in early April and the incident with the Ministry of Magic doesn't happen until early June – just in case you were wondering as in the books it somehow seems that the "worst memory" thing happened shortly before the end of term.
The boy wouldn't let him be, he was sure of that after breakfast in the Great Hall the next morning. And he wouldn't be able to stay away from him either.
All the while during breakfast the boy had had a pensive look on his face and directed it at him. He looked like he wanted to figure his teacher out and that was probably what it was.
Snape was mad at Dumbledore and didn't talk to him while eating. Of course the headmaster was right; he couldn't get too close to the boy. And he would do as the headmaster wished. But it wasn't fair. Being alone and mistrusted all the time was hard enough but now that he didn't hate the boy anymore, now that he finally saw some of Lily in him, now that the boy understood him a little – now it was even harder.
Dumbledore had left Harry with Petunia and her magic-hating whale of a husband, and he kept Severus isolated and miserable. Usually he didn't care. After all he trusted him and knew that behind all of this, he had a plan. A plan that would eventually lead to the downfall of the Dark Lord and that was his sole reason for living ever since he heard the prophecy.
But still, yesterday it had made him angry. He felt like Dumbledore didn't care for anyone if it served the Greater Good; not even the boy-who-lived.
But his irritation with the headmaster was soon forgotten when Draco Malfoy and his friends walked over to the Gryffindor table. That couldn't be good.
He abandoned his unfinished meal and made his way towards said table. But he already had a feeling that he wasn't going to be fast enough. The voices of both parties got louder and they were all standing by now, Potter and Malfoy almost nose to nose.
"…filthy mudblood mother…" was all he could make out from the confrontation before all hell broke loose. Harry jumped on Draco and delivered a punch to his face while his friends and the friends of Draco all raised their wands ready to hex each other.
Snape rushed over to them, silently expelliarmus-ed everyone who had risen their wand and grabbed Harry Potter with one hand and Draco Malfoy with the other.
"What do you two think you are doing?" he hissed. "In my office, now." He glared at the other students who quickly dispersed.
So much for keeping a distance, he thought to himself, and dragged the two students who glared at each other to his office.
"You two can count yourself lucky that Professor Umbridge had already left the Great Hall," he snapped. "What were you thinking?" he said not expecting an answer.
He gave Draco a potion and fixed his nose, which had been broken. Neither Snape nor Harry said a word but Draco explained how Harry had started all of this and how he didn't do anything and how his father would hear about this.
"Oh, so I didn't hear you insult Mr. Potter's mother in the worst way possible?" Snape snarled.
Draco's mouth gaped open and Harry, who had been staring at the floor the entire time, looked up. Harry had been sure Snape would believe Draco and he would have to sit in detention for the rest of his life.
Draco didn't respond.
"You should be above using expletives like this. You were a shame for Slytherin today."
Harry grinned.
"Pray tell what exactly is so funny Mr. Potter?"
Harry's face fell.
"Your behavior has been unacceptable today. I will take 50 points from each of you and you will have detention with me three hours every evening next week."
They both looked at him in shock.
"But that's the Easter holidays," Draco finally said.
"Do I strike you as the kind of person who would actually care? You are dismissed."
Harry quickly left, leaving a flabbergasted Draco behind.
"But… but…" Draco started.
"Speak in full sentences, Draco," Snape referred to him by first name when they were alone as he had been friends with Lucius and Narcissa since school and had seen the boy grow up. He was usually rather fond of the boy but what he had seen in the Pensieve was still too fresh in his memories.
"You never take points from our house! And you never give Slytherins detention in front of others!"
It was true, he didn't. Slytherins lost enough points as it was but he did give his Slytherins detention when they deserved it. Although usually not in front of the other houses.
"And since when do you believe the blasted Potter golden boy more than me?" he asked exasperated.
"It is not a matter of believing when I heard with my own ears and saw with my own eyes what happened. Do not lie to me, Draco." Snape frowned. He had wanted to talk to Draco about this since he saw what really happened in the Pensieve but not now and not like this. But now he saw no way around this uncomfortable conversation. "Running around screaming cuss words was not very Slytherin of you and I am very disappointed." He knew pointing out his disappointment would hit him hard. Being a disappointment in the eyes of his father was one of the blond boy's biggest fears and at some point disappointing him had become equally horrifying. And he was disappointed with the young man. He had become a bully. The little boy he had watched growing up had become just like his worst nightmare. "And I know that all the stories you have told me about Mr. Potter have been lies; that he never started any of your confrontations. I don't like being lied to Draco. Especially not if it is you."
Draco gulped. "But… But you always complain about him and…"
"What I do and how I feel towards Mr Potter are none of your business. I am a teacher at this school and therefore responsible for your behavior. Do not lie to me again. You are dismissed," Snape said in a sharp tone and Draco complied.
"I'm sorry," he muttered and then left. He was mad but he didn't know what to say. The opinion of his favorite teacher and friend of the family mattered to him more than his rivalry with Potter. At least at the moment.
Much later that same day, classes were already over, someone knocked at his door and Severus soon found the other troublemaker in the chair in front of him.
"What do you want, Mr. Potter? I won't back down with the detention."
"No, I… I wanted to apologize," Harry sighed. It wasn't easy for him to do this and talk to him, that much Severus could tell. But since when did the boy come to him to talk about these things anyway? "I have been feeling weird this whole year," Harry continued after he had taken a few deep breaths. "Sometimes I get so angry. Without any real reason. It has happened less since I became better with Occlumency but when it does happen it's even worse now… Draco says stuff like that all the time but it never makes me this angry. I tried to occlude but when he said this... I wanted to hurt him really badly. And sometimes I… sometimes I want to hurt Dumbledore as well," He blurted out what had been bothering him for obviously quite some time. "Am I becoming evil? Am I becoming like him?" he asked then.
Snape blinked a few times and stared at the boy. Potter? Evil? He most certainly hadn't expected that.
"No, Mr. Potter, I can assure you, you are most certainly not becoming evil. These feelings might have something to do with your connection to the Dark Lord," he said, trying to find a logical explanation for what the boy had said.
Harry thought about this. It would make sense. His mood swings often went together with his dreams and visions but he couldn't distinguish between his own feelings and the feelings of Voldemort most of the times.
"So he is angry?" he asked after thinking about it for a while.
Snape knew he was. Lucius' plan with the Ministry of Magic had yet to show any success. And the Dark Lord was not very patient with his followers.
"Just work on your Occlumency skills and don't worry about this. Try to occlude when you feel feelings that can't possibly be your own and tell me or the headmaster about it."
After the boy had left Snape paced through his office. He did that a lot lately. His thoughts circled around the events of the day.
He hadn't succeeded at distancing himself from the boy much. Quite the opposite actually.
He had failed Dumbledore.
But then again – didn't he just agree to spy for Dumbledore if he kept Lily save? Well he hadn't kept her save. She was dead. He had done everything he had done for Lily – and still she was dead. But he had protected the boy ever since he first came to Hogwarts. He risked his life every time the Dark Lord called him and reported back to Dumbledore although Lily had long been dead. Why did he do that? Because he was a good person? Or for Dumbledore? No – he still did it for his Lily. Because she had fought against the Dark Lord. And because Harry was her son.
He trusted Dumbledore and served him as best as he could – but after all this time, he was still not Dumbledore's man, he was Lily's.
A.N.: Wow I'm surprised I found the time to write this, as it is my last week at university for this semester and last week was full of exams and I still have to write one tomorrow and then I still have to write three term papers… and then in August I'll be off to study abroad for a year so I hope I have the time to finish this fic before my departure.
Snape's loyalty towards Dumbledore is wavering a bit already. We'll see where that leads us…
Hope you enjoyed reading it. Let me know in a review.