(The idea for this AU is not mine- it's from a post on tumblr. The characters, as usual, aren't mine, but the story, however, is.)
Therapy for Super Villains
Blaine's head hurts, goddamn it, and he can't quite grasp his surroundings.
"He'll wake up anytime now, sir."
Oh, his eyes- they're closed. There's a steady pressure on them; he's blindfolded.
"Thank you, Dave, you may leave now."
His hands are tied behind his back, pressed between him and a soft fabric. Is he sitting on a couch?
The footsteps nearing him make the panic rise up like bile in his throat once again.
He's been kidnapped.
He's been kidnapped! Sam will lose his shit when Blaine doesn't answer his calls.
"Rise and shine," says a voice so gently that Blaine forgets to be afraid for a second. Then his blindfold is pulled off, and before him stands Kurt Hummel.
The Kurt Hummel, who is the most infamous super villain New York has ever known.
"Oh my god, you're going to kill me," Blaine gasps. He knows, he knows what happens to people who mess with Kurt Hummel. He's seen it, all over the news, and he always thought it was so far away from him, that being a therapist with a small clinic who never does anything interesting would save him from ever being of any importance to Kurt Hummel. He's going to kill you, and it's going to hurt. "Please, please don't kill me, I have friends that need me and I have a family and I just want to live, please, I don't have money or information about anyone please just let me go-"
"Are you done, Dr. B. Anderson?" Kurt Hummel asks. Blaine gulps.
He's going to kill you right now-
"I don't want to kill you. Trust me, if I wanted you dead you would've been dead fifteen minutes ago."
"Y-you don't want to kill me?" Blaine asks, voice shaky.
Kurt Hummel groans. "No, I don't. Can we move on now?"
Blaine nods.
"Good. So the reason you're here, and not spending the afternoon in that grandma-chic clinic of yours, is that I, well," he pauses. Blaine holds his breath. "I require a therapist."
There's a red tint to his cheeks as he says the words, and Blaine thinks for one crazy moment that it's pretty funny to have the man who kidnapped him, blindfolded him and tied him to a chair to be blushing at the thought of needing a therapist.
"For- for you?" Blaine asks, hoping, praying he might need a therapist for a crazy niece and that way he'd be able to run away more easily, maybe during a session…
"Do I have to spell it out for you? I thought you were a doctor, for crying out loud. I need a therapist, okay?" he says loudly, and then goes even redder.
"So you kidnapped one?" Blaine asks.
"I can't have anyone who's working for me, especially in such a touchy subject, not be wholly committed."
Blaine thinks about that for a second. "So if I never tell anyone about this, you won't kill me?"
"Correct."
"Okay then," says Blaine. He could potentially get used to it, if he's not getting killed. And oh my god Sam is going to freak out when he hears about this!