Again, this AU is based on a tumblr post. Those things give me endless inspiration, I swear! Also, I love alternate meeting AUs, if you haven't realize that yet ;)

Pepper Spray

As he laces his shoes, Kurt tells himself he shouldn't be going out at this time of night. He could get mugged, for crying out loud.

But there's no ice cream in the house, and he ran into Adam and his new boyfriend after dance class, when they were put together and lovey-dovey and he was sweaty and gross and alone.

So he puts Rachel's pepper spray in his pocket, throws on a jacket, and heads out the door.

He stops exactly two steps into the hallway.

There's a man sleeping on the floor. Oh god, is he homeless? How did he even get in this building?

Kurt slips his hand into his pocket and grips the pepper spray.

The man doesn't look homeless; his face is clean-shaven and his clothes are neat, but he's sleeping on the floor in the hallway to Kurt's apartment.

He stirs, and Kurt jumps back, pulling the pepper spray out of his pocket and pointing it at the man like a sword. "Don't move!"

The man startles and sits up, "what? What's going on?" He blinks and focuses on Kurt. "Oh. Um. Hey?"

"I'm not afraid to spray you with this thing!" Big fat lie. Kurt's terrified to his bones.

"Why- oh," he looks at his surroundings like he forgot where he was. "Yeah, I didn't think anyone would be out at this hour to notice me sleeping outside."

"Why are you here?" Kurt spits, as Bad-Cop-looking as he can manage.

"Because I live here?" the man says and stands up. "By the way, the cap is still on that pepper spray." He smoothes his clothes, and takes a phone out of his pocket to check the time.

Kurt blushes, and lowers the pepper spray. "If you live here, why are you sleeping in the hallway?"

The man sighs. "My roommate. He's got his girlfriend over, and I couldn't sleep listening to them- you know. So I came down here, my apartment is two floors up so you can't hear them. And I decided to just sleep here."

"Oh- you live in 5C?" Kurt asks. "Yeah, I may have heard your roommate, um. I'm sorry."

"Oh god, no, I'm sorry. They're- yeah. Sam has a very healthy sex life. Well."

They stand awkwardly for a moment; Kurt can see dark circles under his eyes. He's pretty damn sure the story isn't fabricated. Plus, he doesn't doubt the ability of the guy from 5C to chase away a person with his sex sounds.

"Do you need a couch to crush on?" Kurt asks.

"I- I don't even know your name. You could be a murderer."

"Well, if I'm a murderer who just tried to threaten you with a pepper spray that wasn't even open, I'm not a very good one at that," Kurt says, hoping to make the stranger smile.

He does, and Kurt feels his stomach clench. Oh no. "I'm Blaine Anderson. And I'd love to crush on your couch." He presents his hand for a handshake.

"I'm Kurt Hummel, and I'd love to let you crush on my couch." He takes Blaine's hand, and goosebumps rise on his skin. He forces a calm smile, and decides that company would be better than ice cream tonight.

He'll see what he can do about that.