Disclaimer: The only part of Castle that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.
"Kate!" Josh Davidson looks pleased—until surprised replaces pleased, and pleased is obliterated by pissed off. "Castle," he says, acknowledging his ex-girlfriend's partner in a tone with the steely edge of a scalpel.
Castle cuts in. "That's right, she's Kate Castle now." He's betting that Beckett will give him quick jab in the ribs for that, and she does. It was worth it.
Davidson looks nonplussed. "What?"
"We're married. So she's Kate Beckett Castle." This time he gets a hard pinch on his arm. Still worth it.
The doctor refuses to look at the writer. "What brings you here, Kate?"
"We're going to our first natural childbirth class," she says, smiling widely.
"We're pregnant," Castle adds, unnecessarily. "Surprised to see you here, Davidson."
"Why? I'm on staff."
"Yeah, but this is the maternity floor. Aren't you a proctologist?"
"I see you're still an asshole, Castle."
"Well, I guess you'd know, given that you specialize in that part of the human anatomy."
"I'm a cardiac surgeon, for Christ's sake."
"My mistake. Didn't realize you'd moved up." He wonders why Beckett hasn't inflicted significant bodily harm on him. If she put him in traction for three months, it would still be worth it. Davidson was such an easy mark.
"Excuse me," she says. "But I have to get out of this hallway before I succumb to the testosterone fumes."
"I don't want to whatever to the whatever fumes, either. Those are big words, Mom. They sound kind of scary."
She looks pointedly at Castle and grabs his elbow. "And I don't want to subject the baby to them, either. Let's go."
"Thanks, Mom. You're my hero!"
"I guess you got what you deserved then, Kate," the seething Davidson says.
Already halfway to Room 718, she stops and pivots. "Thank you. Yes, I did," she says, sunnily. "And do did he. We're a perfect match." And she turns her back on him and walks down the hall, towing a gaping Castle. She's silent until they're both inside the room. "I'm giving you a free pass this time," she mutters. "But only because he's such a jerk."
"And because you liked my proctology joke."
"That, too."
They walk into a large open area, ringed with chairs; four other couples are already there, along with a woman who is presumably the instructor, and Alexis, who trots over to Becket and Castle.
"Hi, Dad. Hi, Kate," she says as she gives them both a hug.
"Thanks for coming," her father says. "I'm positive that I won't be more than a block away when Kate goes into labor, but it's great that you're willing to be my stand-in, just in case."
"She'll need to be your stand-in if you pass out in the delivery room, Castle."
"Me? Ridiculous. Never gonna happen."
"Dad, you almost fainted every time I had to get a shot. Don't you think it's possible that witnessing childbirth might be your undoing?"
"No. So you won't need to be there."
"It'll be good practice for me, Dad. I'll probably be in Kate's position before you know it."
"Oh, God," he covers his eyes. "Please, just stop right there. Don't say another word."
Within minutes, everyone has arrived: a total of eight pregnant women and their spouses/significant others, and Alexis. The instructor, Rebecca Bernstein, introduces herself and has everyone else in the room do the same. Beckett and Castle are the sixth couple with whom she speaks.
"So, Kate, have you been doing anything special to prepare for childbirth?"
"I've always been very active, and though I've had to cut back, I still walk everywhere and still do yoga forty-five minutes a day, which I hope will be helpful."
"That's great. And you're right, it will be. What about you, Rick? What made you want to join Kate for this class?"
"I want to support her, of course. But also, I didn't get to experience this when my daughter, Alexis, was born because my first wife wanted nothing to do with natural childbirth. She'd have liked Alexis to spring full-grown from her head, like Athena from Zeus. Except that unlike Zeus she wouldn't have let anyone split her head open with an axe to let her daughter out. So this time I'm determined to be there."
"Mom! You don't want an axe in your head, right! Please say you don't want an axe in your head."
Everyone laughs and Rebecca asks, "Have you done anything special to prepare, Rick?"
"Thirty-seven books," Alexis says.
"Not to mention nineteen DVDs," Beckett adds. "Belly Laughs, Bump It Up, Birth Partner,"—she's ticking them off on her fingers—"Beyond Ava and Aiden, Baby Catcher, and The Belly Book. And those are only the Bs."
"He's read me Beyond Ava and Aiden about a thousand times. I thought it would help, but here I am, still Plus One."
"Yeah, and not one of the DVDs that my dad bought has footage of an actual birth."
"That's not a problem, Alexis," Rebecca says, "but I'm glad you brought it up, because one of the things we're going to do today is to watch a video of a baby being born, at this hospital. A lot of you probably expected to see that in our final class, but I've always found it very helpful to experience it at the beginning, before we cover everything else, such as exercises and breathing. So, if one of you could just dim the lights with that switch next to the door, we can start."
"Wow, there's going to be a movie? I hope Dad tells me about it afterwards. He always like to talk about his favorite parts. I like it when he does the funny noises, too."
The room is very quiet as the video proceeds; whatever the camera doesn't show, the voiceover explains, such as how the baby's head temporarily changes shape during the second stage of labor, the skull still soft to accommodate being squeezed in the birth canal.
"Where is my head going? Mom! Is this true? And it gets squished! How come no one ever told me about this part? Does Dad know about this?"
Beckett can't see Castle properly in the darkened room, but as the video progresses she thinks that he's looking a little pale. When they see the baby's head crowning, she's sure of it.
"Did Dad just say 'Ewwwwww'?"
Alexis squeezes Castle's hand and whispers, "Are you going to faint, Dad?"
"No," he whispers in return. "Yes. No. It's a possibility. Wait. I'll just look at Beckett. You keep watching, take notes for me, please."
He turns his head away from the screen towards Beckett, who's mesmerized by the video. "Beckett?"
"What?"
"Are you all right?"
"Of course. Aren't you?"
"Well, uh."
She tweaks his ear and, in the lowest possible voice, says, "Sometimes you're a big baby, you know that?"
"Hey! I thought I was the baby."
A/N Thanks to everyone who is tracking the progress of Plus One! I'm very grateful for all of you.