So, it's been a while since I've last watched Mulan, so please don't a, judge me too harshly for mistakes, and b, writing a Disney fic, period.
This idea came to me listening to Honor to Us All, on my Pandora station... Remembering how everyone was hating on her, I thought, "well, what if..." But story time now!
Walking into the Matchmaker's house, Mulan was very nervous. She knew she was klutzy, and not really the ideal bride, but she still wanted to please her family and her new husband, so she sucked it up and entered the inner chamber.
"Oh, you poor dear," the Matchmaker smiled sadly. "I will not be able to help you. My slightly foresight has already told me you will not find your husband in my connections. Instead, you must visit my friend, located behind me. But first, let us talk. I am here to listen, and then we must fabricate a scene for you to run from."
"I- if I may ask, what do you mean I won't find my husband?" Milan asked, slightly angered and panicked.
"Oh, no. Not that you won't find him, but that you won't find him here. Come now, let us have tea."
Mulan poured tea, and as she knew she wasn't being judged, she did it near perfectly, before settling back and chatting idly with the Matchmaker.
After half an hour, the Matchmaker set her cup down.
"Now, we must set up our ruse. When you run, you must run a block from my house, before looping back to right, facing away from here, and continue around to the back, where your future happiness awaits."
"Yes, Matchmaker. And how will we set up our ruse?"
"Hmm, let me see, I believe this tea has cooled enough, yes..." The Matchmaker splashed tea down the front of her kimono, causing Mulan to gasp. "Now, let loose that cricket I heard, yes, perfect. Hush, little one, we will not hurt you, only frighten, so sorry."
"Matchmaker if I may?" Milan spoke up, gesturing to the inkstone. "Perhaps if we paint this on your face, it might seem I am even more of a mess," Mulan giggled, drawing a chuckle from the woman.
"Yes, indeed, that would work well!" Allowing Mulan to paint a mustache around her mouth, both women chuckled again at the ruse. "Well, one more thing. Here, break this."
"Are these...?" Milan asked worriedly.
"No, simply green stones polished to look like jade. Good, now run."
I don't own Mulan, and this might not be the best, but it is a first draft idea. I might rewrite it our continue it later...