Disclaimer: We don't own Pokemon
Title: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Summary: It was supposed to be a normal trip to the local bar, but it turns into something far more wild.
Chapter 2 of the now 'Unfortunate Events' series. Again some random people have come together to continue on the epic adventure of Pokémon gone to hell one sentence at a time.
Returning Authors: Lightningblade49
The New Blood: Sunsorrow, Telli21, Ace of Spies, Acetheox, Brotaku98
LB49: There's 6 of us of this time so more chaos again, so feel free to enjoy taking a stab at who said what, this more pure crack so please enjoy.
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Ash stubbed his toe on the bedframe.
The screaming intensified.
Lysandre waited patiently for a taco.
Misty came in singing "Shake it Off!".
She wasn't looking and she ran into a wall.
Ash rejoiced ignoring the pain.
He had to stop and laugh at Misty's demise.
Slowly, Misty handed Lysandre a taco and died on the floor.
Ash had a mood swing and began crying profusely.
Lysandre was impressed by hole left in wall by Ash's sudden exit.
He thanked Misty for the taco as well.
Lysandre ate his taco at Misty's funeral and said a beautiful eulogy.
He finished off by flying into the sun.
The fireworks put Sydney's to shame.
Everyone at the funeral applauded.
Except for Sydney, who cried.
Gary Oak showed up in his pyjamas.
Walking under the burning sun with a scallywag swagger.
Archie felt it necessary to punch him for using what he considered "pirate-exclusive jargon."
But Gary had a degree in not giving a fuck!
Because he's Gary Motherfucking Oak!
Maxie came over and started to flirt with Gary, so naturally Archie punched Gary in the face again.
Maxie then proceeded to laugh and call Archie short.
Archie didn't give a crap what the twig thought.
Gary, however, thought Maxie was insulting him and had his Pokémon maul the Magma leader.
Maxie slapped the shit out of his Pokémon because Maxie is a diva.
Ash saw the site after his run and couldn't believe they still existed.
Gary immediately showed off his badges to Ash after spotting him.
"I get what you get in ten years in two days!" Gary sung profusely.
Ash looks at them steals them and runs of saying "I'm off to challenge the elite four now"
Gary cries like a little bitch.
Archie sashays away fabulously.
Maxie follows after him.
Gary now alone says. "They are finally gone time to watch Oprah."
But was cancelled and had to watch Hello Kitty the movie.
Ash went to the Elite 4 and trumpeted the whole way there.
Then Pikachu shocked him half to death out of annoyance.
But was immune much to its further annoyance.
An Iron Tail to the head did the Job.
Pikachu's spirit entered into Ash's unconscious body for some fun.
Pikachu began to play games with his brand new opposable thumbs.
And became the thumb wrestling champion of the Pokémon world.
His entrance theme song was "Stronger" by Kanye west.
Even Kim Kardashian and her daughter came to see his fights.
Ash woke up in Pikachu's body, confused.
And that's how the new Pokémon rescue team was formed.
Ash missed his hat, but didn't mind the red scarf so much.
Dawn was even recruited as her Piplup, because the same thing happened to her apparently.
The pair soon found themselves feeling an odd magnetism between them, from two unseen Magneton's.
Ash (as Pikachu) farted and broke the mood completely.
Ash was pimp slapped to the moon taking the Magneton's with him from the magnetic pull.
One human shaped hole through the planet followed by two more did the deed.
*Blows up*
Ash then became his own little planet due to the magnetic pull the Magneton's created.
Soon, new Pokémon began to evolve on this new planet, and tales were told of the mighty halfling in the centre of their world.
This Halfling became known as Ashachu the almighty.
There was soon mass genocide from the enraged Clefairy who had learnt of the Moon's destruction.
Their dream in ruins.
There was chaos in the streets as the Doctor came in his Tardis to fix the paradox.
Arceus, feeling a great disturbance in the force, came down to investigate.
At that moment Ashachu fell from the heavens and cut Arceus head off and drank it's blood then said "I'm ur God now!"
But was quick to succumb to his Mothers whims and handed over his new Title to Mew.
Who fought over and over with the Helix fossil and Bird Jesus, Pidgeot.
Soon, the Dome fossil was resurrected by the boy who had taken it, bringing the might of the dome to the world.
Which forced Mew to gather the central republic democratic Union of Pokémon.
Magikarp wanted a seat at the table but was not given one, the constant slapping with the stool from it flopping around reminded them to much of breeding.
And while breeding was quite fun, they had to focus on the task at hand.
Due to the rage of being rejected, Magikarp evolved and joined the dome army.
The war raged on for six years until one day mew was forced to make a dire choice.
Mew forced her Legendries to pair off and mate, the new born Legendries gained new abilities including an extra evolution which was called 'Mega Evolution'.The stones we see attached to most Pokémon now and the keystone in mega rings are the eggs of Mew.
Gyarados stole one of Mews eggs, in order give himself a 'Mega evolution', because he envied his enemies.
So Mew gave two chosen warriors two mega stones to evolve when needed their mission was to save Christmas the team needed some happiness in there lives while fighting this losing battle.
But that was not needed.
They reconciled by sacrificing Justin Bieber to the soul of the universe.
Though the child was near worthless, he was accepted.
Mew and the doom became his family.
Which was a surprise to us all.
But that's just how life works sometimes.
Pikachu began training wild Pokémon in the art of thumb wrestling, and created a mighty nation of wrestlers.
They all became strong thumb wrestling warriors and there legend was forever known.
And that ended the tale of how an enraged poke female destroyed the moon, Made a teens life even more chaotic, A Maigikarp that went places, Mega evolution being born and destroying time itself. Remember kid's violence never solves anything, but it can make all things go to hell.
[LB49: Again Reviews would be appreciated to know if this drivel is remotely entertaining lol.]