(A/N): Hey sorry for not updating in what was it like a month or so? Yikes! That's a long time to keep you guys hanging! Well lets not waste anymore time with this and on to the chapter!
WARNING: THERE IS VERY MATURE CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE PLEASE DON'T READ THIS CHAPTER!
CHAPTER 4
Funny thing depression is. It makes us do and think about a lot of things. I had gone to bed super early last night but I don't care I'm still exhausted and I slept in until noon. I wasn't hungry whatsoever.
I got up go to my bathroom. After I finish using it I was looking at myself in the mirror. My ugly platinum blonde hair was messy and dull. My blue eyes were red and swollen from crying last night and a little this morning. That made me want to take a shower
I get in the shower and put on some music. I put on my Breaking Benjamin/Evanescence playlist. I have a wide variety of artists that like but I'm just not in the mood to listen to them. The song that comes on is one of my favourites. My Immortal and I sing along.
*I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound to the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all fears
And I held your hands through all of these years
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears
And I held your hand through all these years*
When the song ended I was crying all over again. I'm not sure why but that song everytime it gets me reduced to tears.
I decide to release some more hurt and anguish. I grab my razor of the millionth time and slip it across my wrists, drag it across my thigh, on my stomach, and finally under m breasts. There was so much pain but watching the blood pool and drip down my pale skin made it feel better for some reason. I always want to feel like this. I went on like this for about five more minutes.
I got out of the shower rung out my hair and put it in a messy bun and walked into my room. I lay down on my bed naked because I didn't care anymore. I turned on the TV to some random channel.
I didn't even realize I fell asleep.
*DREAM*
I woke up in my room with my hair dry and braided. I don't remember doing that. And my TV was off as well. I sure as well didn't do that. I suddenly see my door open and in the doorway stands Hans. He is looking at me weirdly. I try to move away from him but I can't move. I'm tied to my bed and I'm NAKED!
Hans closes the door and makes his way over to my bed and climbs on top of me. He begins kissing my neck and makes his way towards my breasts. I feel disgusted by his touch. How can Anna like this?
Hans then sucks on my breast and even though he is disgusting and I don't like him at all I moan. He takes it as a god thing and continues to suck and nibble at my breasts. Then he begins to go lower down my stomach kissing my body on the way down.
"I've always wanted to do this with you Elsa. Your sister may be good in bed but I've always wanted you. Mmmmm. This feels so good doesn't it?"
He says that as he reaches my womanhood and licks it! I moan again. God damnit! My body says that this feels good while my mind is saying no.
"Hans stop!"
"No Elsa. I will take your body for my own."
"Please no please stop!"
He doesn't even regard that he heard me. Damnit! He is raping me and there's nothing I can do! Where is Anna when you need her?
Hans is still licking my womanhood but goes farther when he sticks his tongue inside me. I gasp and moan this feels so good but so bad at the same time. He thrusts his tongue in and out, in out, lick, in out, in out, lick. He repeats this process until I feel a weird hot building sensation coming from my lower region. Then out of nowhere an orgasm hits me and I scream out in pleasure and disgust I am disgusted with myself. Damn natural reflexes!
I think this is over until I see Hans stripping down. He positions himself at my entrance and rubs the tip of his manhood on me.
"Are you a virgin Elsa?"
"Yes! Now get away from me!"
I was thrashing before trying to get away but I now am really trying to get away. He smacks me, but I didn't care I want him to get away from me. He hits me again and I'm dazed for a few seconds.
"I do hope you won't do that again. I want to enjoy this while it lasts."
I was dizzy long enough for him to stick his manhood into my entrance and broke my hymen. I screamed out in pain it was the worst pain I have ever felt in my whole life. And the worst part is that he didn't even stop. This was one of the worst things to happen to me. By the time he was done and pulled out I was beyond hysterics.
Hans then jerked off onto my stomach.
"Ahh. I very much enjoyed this Elsa. Maybe we can do this again sometime"
He laughed as he got dressed and just walked away without untying me.
*END OF DREAM*
I woke up still naked under my covers and my pillow soaked with tears. I looked at the clock on my bedside table and it said 8:25pm. Damn, I fell asleep somewhere around 2:10. I felt a little hungry so I got dressed and walked downstairs, made myself a PBJ and got a glass of milk and went back upstairs.
I turned on my TV watched the evening news, while I ate my food. When I was finished I put my plate and glass on my bedside table. I picked up my tablet and played minecraft for a while.
By the time I was tired it was 4:52 in the morning. I turned off my TV, turned on some music and fell asleep immediately Lucky for me I had no dreams.
(A/N): So I wrote this a while ago back in June when I still had school. It was a pretty intense chapter if I do say so myself! So I would love to hear what you thought of this chapter, so please review and if you are a new reader please follow and review my story. Thank you for reading! I hope to update again soon! (And by 'soon' I don't mean in another month...hopefully)