Disclaimer: We don't own Pokémon
Title: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Summary: It was supposed to be a normal trip to the bar, but it turns into something more wild.
Returning Authors: AquilaTempestas, Sunsorrow and MoonlitHoundoom [formerly known as ShinyPoochyena45]
New Blood: Exelior
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Once upon a time, there was a little boy called Ghetsis.
He had a plush Hydreigon.
Who was eaten by his hydreigon.
But he didn't mind- the real one was better than the plush anyways.
His real Hydreigon had a real bad temper.
And ate Archie.
The plush eats Ghetsis in it's loneliness.
Archie and Ghetsis, as spirits, thought of how to return to life.
As spirits, they had the special ability to see into the hearts of men and women.
Although it wasn't always safe to do so.
It wasn't exactly a nice experience either, the heart is rather full of blood and flesh... yuck.
Ghetsis would have fainted and left Archie to do the work if he hadn't been a spirit.
So he asked Cyrus for help.
Cyrus couldn't help as he was too bust not feeling anything.
So they decided to ask Maxie instead!
Unfortunately, Maxie wasn't in tune enough with spirits to hear them.
So they went back to asking Cyrus, who had the power of hair gel on his side - little did anyone else know, true power came from hair gel!
Cyrus decided to hid in the distortion world.
Where he was eaten by Giratina, thus becoming a spirit aswell!
Archie was quite upset that Cyrus had tried to ignore him.
Cyrus was ignoring him on purpose - he didn;t like drunken pirates.
And one eyed cyclops's who wore cloaks (Sorry sun)
So the two sulked in hell for a few years.
"Hell" was a very nice hotel in Driftveil, it just happened to be popular with spirits.
The spirits sat around the table, drinking away their sorrows with a strong glass of the whiskey, Arbok's Fang.
Maxie was jealous so he started to plan to become a spirit.
He decided to jump into the volcano...
And, surprisingly enough, it worked.
And thus, Maxie became a spirit.
And soon was totaly drunk on Arbok's fang.
So they decked to haunt someone...
Even though many of the spirits thought Maxie was disgraceful, they invited him to go haunting too.
And so they decided to go and haunt Ash Ketchum.
Because the kid deserved it.
Ash thought otherwise, and cried every time they even slammed a door.
"Why is this damned child crying?" asked Cyrus
Maxie answered " Because he has emotions unlike you"
Ghetsis was getting kind of upset, as he thought Cyrus had been referring to him.
Cyrus faced Ghetsis and said, "I wasn't talking about you."
Ghetis pouted and hugged Maxie
Maxie was horrified.
Archie started singing pirate songs.
Causing everyone to run or float away.
Ash Ketchum was trying to sing along, but he didn't know the words.
And so the spirits laughed at him because finally they could do something he could not.
Maxie went and attempted to give Ash a wedgie.
He succeeded, causing some of the other spirits to wince in sympathy.
Ash ran away crying.
Maxie laughed it had been quite hilarious.
Cyrus was watching them all with such disappointment.
And decided to slap them one by one to bring them back to their senses.
Maxie glared at the kid , no one slapped the great(?) Magma leader.
But Cyrus did, amazingly, and moved on to Archie.
He smacked the pirate!
Archie cursed and slapped Cyrus back.
Being a child, Ghetsis did the natural thing and cried, trying to get them to stop.
Cyrus hit Ghetsis too
Maxie kicked Cyrus in the nads as he didn't like kids being hit.
Archie, Maxie, and Cyrus were in a pretty nasty fight.
Cyrus dropped to the floor like a sack of bricks.
Thus the term planking was born.
Maxie smirked and went to check on Ghetsis.
Ghetsis made a weird face at Maxie and didn't say anything.
Cyrus started to cry.
Maxie gave Ghetsis chocolate and went to get a drink of tea.
As a forgiving person in his youth, Ghetsis offered Cyrus the chocolate.
Cyrus accepted it.
Maxie watched with interest.
Archie was still wondering how Maxie had beaten him in that fight.
Cyrus was too busy eating his chocolate and taking care of himself to worry about what anyone else was doing
Maxie was cross with Ghetsis , that was his last chocolate.
Ghetsis shrugged hopelessly at Maxie- how else could he have gotten Cyrus to stop crying?
At that moment, something weird happened.
Maxie grew young , younger than Ghetsis.
Archie squealed in a manly way and had to cuddle baby Maxie.
It got stranger - suddenly, all the males were turned into females.
Baby Maxie was confused.
Archie screamed in a much less manly way at the transformation, and Ghetsis fainted.
There was some strange unknown magical power here at work, but what could it possibly be and why had it happened now
Baby Maxie babble and pointed at a cupboard.
Archie opened the cupboard, wondering if Maxie had seen something.
They found Lysandre and Giovanni hiding there.
Maxie clapped and crawled over.
Lysandre and Giovanni had also been turned into women, and seemed quite confused.
They were all concerned - could this spell be reversed?
Maxie wasn't he was trying to get the other bosses to pick him up.
However, they all ignored Maxie as Lysandre told them his conspiracy that this was Giratina's doing.
Cyrus scowled at the name - he and Giratina did not get along at all.
Maxie giggled , Giratina sounded funny to his little ears.
Archie gave Maxie his anchor necklace to shut him up before agreeing with Lysandre that it was likely.
"We must get to Giratina at once otherwise we'll live our remaining days as women," said Cyrus.
Maxie had found the mega stone and had removed it to chew.
No one cared about Maxie, they were focused on trying to figure out where Giratina might be.
"I think we must open a rift to the Distortion World to fight the beast, but how do you propose we create one?" Cyrus asked.
Maxie threw the key stone at cyrus as Cyrus was boring him.
As the stone collided with Cyrus, an explosion rang out, and a portal to the Distortion World opened.
Cyrus led the way into the Distortion World.
Maxie stayed put , it looked scary and he already needed a new nappy.
The others were kind of glad to be rid of Maxie- babies shouldn't be in the Distortion World.
The Distortion World was much scarier than the last time he had visited - there were unicorns and other pretty things.
Maxie stayed behind to make sure no unicorns tried to escape; after all, what sane creature tangle with a baby?
Lysandre, Gio, and Archie had voted to put Ghetsis at the front of the group to protect them from unicorns with his pure heart.
Ghetsis was outnumbered - he had to lead
Not that he minded, but he had no idea where he was going, and kept asking Cyrus.
Cyrus pointed forwards and said, "We must find the most terrifying creature in this vile place – they called it, the Jigglypuff."
A unicorn tried to escape only to be babbled at by Maxie.
The portal closed after that, leaving Maxie cut off from the group as they grumbled about how horrifying "Jigglypuff" sounded.
Cyrus shuddered recalling memories against the foul creature.
The escaped unicorn was now serving its punishment at Maxie's pillow.
Ghetsis could only shiver and tell Cyrus that this Jigglypuff couldn't possibly be worse than the Beiber, the horror of which he'd witnessed firsthand.
Archie screamed at the name - he had heard tales of the Beiber on the ship.
Somehow, the unicorn managed to get back into the Distortion World with Maxie.
Ghetsis reassured Archie, "The Beiber can't get into the Distortion World... I hope."
Archie shuddered and said, "I believe the Beiber only likes babies."
Maxie babbled from behind them, still cuddling the unfortunate uncorn.
"Well, then," Ghetsis sighed, "It's a good thing we left Maxie- Nevermind."
"The only way we can defeat the Jigglypuff is if we kill it with negative energy."
Maxie squealed, and crawled towards the Jigglypuff.
"My energy towards this stupid baby is pretty negative," Giovanni growled, ready to throw Maxie at Jigglypuff if anyone thought it would help.
"That is good - think dark thoughts and the creature shall perish."
Maxie reached the Jigglypuff, smiled and then did a massive dump.
Ghetsis looked off into the distance with a small grin, evidently thinking very dark things.
The jigglypuff kneeled over its face melting from the stink and Maxie clapped.
"The Jigglypuff has been defeated," Archie announced triumphantly, trying not to inhale.
The ultimate terror was yet to arrive though - THE BEIBER HAD COME.
Maxie babbled and crawled towards it, still leaking foul smells.
"I'm entirely willing to sacrifice Maxie to the Beiber. Vote?" Giovanni suggested.
Maxie babbled and crawled towards it still leaking foul smells.
Cyrus nodded and said, "It will be an honourable death."
Maxie reached the Beiber and scrunched up his face, and seconds later, a splat was heard and the Beiber had dissolved from the deadly nappy of Maxie.
Dumbfounded, Giovanni managed to say, "I still want to sacrifice him."
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LB49:Id like to thank all the authors who took part in this fic, I appreciate all your imput in this story, please be sure to check out their own content.
[Review or Jigglypuff will eat you… you heard me.]