Being as how I recently stumbled across a comic strip whose creator had the audacity to call Hitsugaya "lame," I reserve the right to preface this chapter with a rant.
Hitsugaya Toushirou is the Pinnacle of Shinigami Greatness. I'd start a religion if I had the charisma. No one, and I mean absolutely no one, who has donned such a moniker can hold a candle to him. Be it Aizen, Ichimaru, Ichigo, Zaraki, even Ryukku from Death Note; I don't care. Not good enough.
Hitsugaya has transcended his manga heritage, indeed has transcended humanity itself in spite of his lack of conscious existence, and become an entity so immensely, incomprehensibly awesome that he is indescribable by any human tongue.
So lower your heads and pay homage, ye lowly mortals.
Oh, and enjoy the chapter...if you have time left afterward.
Hitsugaya opened his eyes, wondering just what was so funny.
Succumbing to a fit of giggles, Matsumoto fell onto her side next to her captain and curled into the fetal position.
"T-T-Toushirou...! I think I...just saw the...f-funniest thing...in the w-whole world!!"
"Hm? What is it, Rangiku? I was trying to get some sleep."
"I...I know, Toushirou, and I'm sorry for disturbing you...but you...you have to see this!"
She stumbled to her feet and grabbed Hitsugaya's hand.
Tired, with a headache induced by yet another captains' meeting in which Kurotsuchi and Zaraki had been at each others' throats, but nonetheless curious, Hitsugaya followed his subordinate without complaint.
"What's this about?" he asked instead.
"J-Just follow me! I know why Ikkaku missed the captains' meeting today!"
"...Oh?"
Matsumoto nodded, still giggling madly.
"M-M-Madarame-taichou! Too heavy!!"
Hitsugaya blinked.
He wasn't sure what to make of the scene in front of him. Matsumoto was still laughing, but Hitsugaya was literally stunned speechless.
It was too ridiculous.
There, in front of him, was Hinamori Momo, vice-captain of the Fifth Division...
...Walking on her hands.
And there, in front of him, was Madarame Ikkaku, captain of the Fifth Division...
...Perched atop Hinamori's feet.
"Eh?!" Ikkaku snapped. "Can't hear ya down there, Hinamori! Speak up!!"
"I-I can't do this anymore!! You're t-too heavy, Taichou!!"
"Tch," Ikkaku scoffed, looking around. "We ain't back to headquarters yet! You tellin' me you can't handle this?! Kusajishi-fukutaichou used to do this for fun! An' how much smaller's she than you?! Huh?! Let's go, li'l lady! Chop-chop!"
Following the pair, who looked like a pair of circus performers, was the ringmaster. Ayasegawa Yumichika looked decidedly pleased with himself as he watched the show.
Smiling brilliantly, Yumichika waved. "Endurance training, Hitsugaya-taichou!"
"I...I see," Hitsugaya mumbled.
Arms shaking from holding up her captain's weight as well as her own, Hinamori stared at Hitsugaya with all the poignancy of an abused puppy.
"H-Hitsugaya-taichou! Save me! Please!! Madarame-taichou is crazy!"
"Uh..."
"Don't you worry 'bout Li'l Miss Fukutaichou," Ikkaku muttered. "She's jus' whinin'."
"...Right."
"Hitsugaya-taichou! Please!! I'm begging you!"
"You'd be done quicker if ya kept movin'!" Ikkaku snarled.
"B-B-But Taichou!!"
"Got time to talk? Got time to train! No wonder yer division's such a pansy ass daycare center! You wanna be my vice-captain, yer gonna have to toughen up!"
"H-H-Hai...Taichou..." Hinamori moaned pitifully.
She started inching forward, whimpering with each movement.
Hitsugaya almost put a stop to it.
But then Matsumoto, between giggles, said something about the sweatiest stilts she'd ever seen, and Hitsugaya couldn't stop laughing for an hour.
Once this image (likely inspired by Maito Gai from Naruto) muscled its way into my mind, I couldn't let go of it. And thus, the reign of Ikkaku-taichou begins.
I think it's going to be rather entertaining.