Mean Markswomen
AN: So I glanced at the boards again and all the Yasuo hate posts had been replaced by Vayne ones. Then I saw a Youtube video called "Mean Elves" by OnlyLeigh, and had this idea. It's a parody of the Mean Girls movie. Enjoy!
AN: So that was back in November. I started writing another story and got distracted, but here this is now.
The daycare staff are searching for another daycare, when suddenly, all of the toddlers start magically glowing. When the glowing stops, they are all teenagers!
"Oh, good. There weren't any more daycares to send them to anyways, but now we can just send them to high school," a daycare staff member says. The daycare staff then find a new high school that is under construction. The walls and things are all built, but there's no furniture yet, so there aren't any students that go there yet, making it the perfect place to put the teenage champions….
Time skip Time skip Time skip
Tristana yawns as she gets off the bus. Turning into a teenager suddenly is exhausting! She walks up to the high school and opens the door. Her eyes widen as she sees the variety of human, animal, and spectral teenagers that await her in the hallway inside. In Tristana's home town of Bandle City, there were only yordles. Welp, time to make a good first impression!
Taking a deep breath, Tristana begins to walk down the hallway. She looks around at the other students, wondering who she should talk to, who might want to be her friend. She sees a guy in a Noxus sports jersey talking loudly while making a basketball-dunking motion with his arm, a plant girl growing a flower in the middle of the hallway then picking it and giving it to her boyfriend, and… a talking robot? Tristana is fascinated by how different this school is from her hometown of Bandle City. But who should she be friends with?
"You new here?" someone asks.
Tristana turns around and is relieved to find a nice looking yordle girl is talking to her. "Yeah," Tristana replies.
The girl giggles. "I thought so. You seemed all confusabobulated."
"Uh…" Tristana says, not sure if confusabobulated is a real word or not. "…yeah, I've never left Bandle City, so this is a bit strange to me."
"Never?!" the other yordle gasps. "Well, then this must be shocking! It was a bit shocking for me at first too," the girl continues, "and I used to live with fairies, so that's saying something! Oh! I almost forgot to introduce you to Pix!" the yordle girl says. "My name is Lulu, and this is Pix!"
Tristana screams as what she thought was just a fly buzzing near Lulu's shoulder grows into a yordle-sized fairy!
"It's ok, he's friendly," Lulu says, at the same time as Pix says "Yo, what's up?"
"N-Nice to meet you. I'm Tristana," Tristana says. "That's cool that you can change your size."
"It comes in handy," Pix agrees, smiling. In his larger form, he looks human, with dark skin, a purple t-shirt, and blue jeans. The only thing marking him as a fairy are his purple eyes and wings which, even when he folds them up like they currently are, still noticeably poke through the back of his shirt.
"Want us to show you around?" Lulu offers.
"Sure," Tristana agrees, glad that Lulu and Pix seem like they want to be her friends.
"Great!" Lulu says cheerfully. "Lunchtime is in a few minutes, so I can show you where and where not to sit."
"I'm glad to have people like you to show me around," Tristana comments. "I take it you've been going here awhile," Tristana says, turning left at a hallway split, then quickly turning around as she realizes Lulu and Pix turned the other way.
"Nope!" Lula answers cheerfully. "We only got here a minute before you did."
"What?!" Tristana gasps. "But then how do you know where everything is?" she questions, as she once again turns the wrong way at the end of a hallway and has to turn around to keep following Lulu and Pix.
"Easy! Pix's size isn't the only thing that can change. Time can too! Sometimes, one minute is actually two days!"
Tristana just gives Lulu a blank stare.
"You know, wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey?"
As Tristana just keeps staring blankly, Lulu and Pix sigh and facepalm as they realize Tristana hasn't seen their favorite show: Doctor Who.
"You'll have to come over my place sometime and watch Doctor Who," Lulu decides, "but for now, let us show you around the lunchroom."
"That's the dumb jock table," Pix announces, pointing at a table where the guy in the Noxus sports jersey that Tristana saw earlier is wrestling a guy in a Demacia sports-jersey as their friends cheer them on.
"That one's the nerd table," Pix says, pointing to another table where a guy in a Robots Rule! T-shirt is arguing with a guy in a My Other Cannon is a Hammer t-shirt about whether Star Wars or Star Trek is better.
"And that one…" Pix shudders.
"Beware the mean markswomen," Lulu whispers. "They are not purple, not purple at all!"
"Uh, oookay…." Tristana says, confused.
"She means they're not very nice," Pix translates.
"Oh, ok," Tristana replies.
"Just look at them!" Lulu exclaims, sitting down at a lunch table with Pix and gesturing for Tristana to join them. "That's Ashe, she's a dumb blond," Lulu says, pointing to one of the girls at the Mean Markswomen table. "The girl next to her is Miss Fortune, and as for the third one," she shudders. "Beware of Vayne. She's the most popular girl in school… and the meanest."
"They don't seem that mean," Tristana says, looking over at their table as Ashe and Miss Fortune laugh at something funny Vayne said.
"Oh no! They're looking this way!" Lulu gulps. Sure enough, Vayne is looking straight at Tristana. Vayne stands up, gesturing for her friends to follow.
"I haven't seen you here before. You must be new," Vayne states.
"Um, yeah. My name's Tristana," Tristana replies.
"I'm Vayne, but you probably already knew that," Vayne giggles. Then she sees Lulu and Pix and frowns at them. "Eww! Why are you hanging out with those losers? You should eat lunch with us," she says, turning back to Tristana and smiling again.
"Umm…" Tristana mumbles.
Just then, the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch.
"Aww, too bad, we were just getting to know each other," Vayne pouts. "You should totally eat lunch with us tomorrow though."
"Um, ok," Tristana says awkwardly, walking away to class.
"Why did you agree to eat lunch with them?!" Lulu asks, catching up with Tristana in the hallway.
"Well, I didn't want to be rude," Tristana replies, "although she was rude to you. I can see what you mean about her. Now what do I do?"
"Just don't sit with them," Lulu replies. "They'll eventually be rude to you either way."
"Actually… what if you do sit with them and pretend to be their friend?" Pix suggests. "Then you can tell us all the weird stuff they do. It'll be hilarious!"
"Omg, yes!" Lulu exclaims. "That would be soooo purple!"
"Why do you keep saying purple?" Tristana asks.
"It's because SHE'S 'purple'," Pix replies, making a cuckoo motion with his hand.
Lulu sees the motion and giggles. "What was that, Tinkerbell?"
Pix chuckles and shakes his head. "If you call me that one more time…"
Tristana can tell he's not really angry though. She has a feeling these nicknames are an inside joke between the two of them, the kind that close friends have.
Just then, the bell rings.
"Oopsies, there's the bell. See you later, Tristana!" Lulu says, hurrying off to class.
Tristana's classes pass by in a blur. Before she knows it, it is lunchtime of the next day!
Tristana walks into the lunchroom, eager and just a tad nervous to begin her (and Lulu and Pix's) plan to pretend to befriend the Mean Markswomen. She walks over to their lunch table with a smile on her face, but is stopped by a gasp from Vayne.
"WHAT are you WEARING?!" Vayne exclaims.
"Huh?" Tristana asks, not sure what is wrong with her outfit. Sure, she isn't wearing her fancy Rocket Girl outfit that she wore yesterday to make a good first impression, but her go-to outfit of camouflage and gloves isn't that ugly, right?
"Today is Thursday!" Vayne announces, as though it's a big deal. "We wear our Heartseeker outfits on Thursday!"
"Like, duh!" Ashe exclaims.
Tristana looks at the two of them, and sure enough, they are wearing their Heartseeker outfits. Miss Fortune, however, is not.
"Err, sorry, I don't have a Heartseeker outfit," Tristana replies, "but at least I'm not the only one," she says, smiling at Miss Fortune.
Miss Fortune rolls her eyes. "Puh-lease! This IS my Heartseeker outfit!" Miss Fortune exclaims, gesturing to her typical pirate outfit. "Heartseeker outfits are skimpy and red, and this fits the description," Miss Fortune says, gesturing to her skimpy top and swishing her long, red hair.
"It's ok this time, I suppose," Vayne says to Tristana, "but next time, I expect you to follow the rules." Vayne then continues to list off other rules that she expects Tristana (and Ashe, and Miss Fortune) to follow. "I mean, if you want to hang out with us, you can't be walking around like some fashion noob. Git Gud!" Vayne exclaims.
"Yeah," Ashe and Miss Fortune echo.
Just then, the end of lunch bell rings. As the Mean Markswomen make their way off to their next classes, Lulu and Pix head over to Tristana. "So? What kinds of zany things did those markswomen do?" Lulu asks, bouncing up and down eagerly as she waits for the news.
Tristana sighs. "Well, they yelled at me for not wearing a Heartseeker outfit because it's Thursday even though I don't have one, and then they listed off a bunch of other fashion rules to follow! I don't know if I can keep hanging out with them with all these rules!"
"They actually said that? Fo' real?" Pix asks. "Hahaha! That has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard! You've got to keep hanging with them so we can laugh at all the funny stuff they do."
"Yea!" Lulu cheers.
"Well… ok," Tristana replies.
Before long, it's the weekend, and Tristana finds herself at Vayne's house, where Vayne, Miss Fortune, and Ashe are frantically working to get the yearbooks out in time.
"Hmm, what picture should I go with?" Vayne asks. She has a hundred pictures of herself spread out on her bed as she tries to decide which one should be her yearbook picture.
"This one!" Ashe suggests immediately, pointing at one of the pictures.
"No, this one's the best," Miss Fortune says, pointing to a different picture.
"What about this one?" Tristana suggests innocently, pointing to a picture of Vayne taking a selfie, her face scrunched up in a goofy way because that's the current selfie trend. Tristana isn't really serious though, she just wants Vayne to use that one because it'll make her look bad.
Vayne turns to Tristana and gasps, and for a moment, Tristana is afraid Vayne is going to yell at her. Then Vayne smiles. "Tristana! That is the best idea ever!" she squeals. She turns to Ashe and Miss Fortune. "Listen up! This year, everyone's yearbook picture will be an ugly selfie. Anyone who's yearbook picture isn't an ugly selfie isn't cool enough to hang out with us, so make sure to let them know that for the rest of the year. Now, get to it people! Let's make this yearbook!"
"B-But I don't have an ugly selfie!" Ashe whines.
"Well then, I guess you better hurry up and take one if you want to hang out with us," Vayne says, turning her back on Ashe and turning to Tristana instead. "Tristana, would you pass the stapler?"
"Sure thing," Tristana says, smiling at Vayne, who smiles back. Tristana can't help but feel good that she, a new markswomen, was able to help Vayne out more than Ashe.
Time skip Time skip Time skip
"So, what kind of wacky stuff did Vayne and her friends do?" Lulu asks as she walks down the hall with Tristana at school on Monday.
Tristana shrugs. "We worked on the yearbook, that's about it."
"I bet they were making a bunch of dumb comments while they were doing it, am I right? Eh?" Pix asks, elbowing Tristana.
"Not really," Tristana replies.
"Tristana! Where've you been?" Vayne asks as she spots Tristana, Miss Fortune following behind.
"See you later," Tristana says to Lulu and Pix, immediately walking over to Vayne and Miss Fortune and talking to them. Lulu and Pix give each other a confused look, but Tristana is too busy talking to the Mean Markswomen to notice.
"What happened to her?" Lulu asks.
"I don't know, and I don't like it," Pix replies.
Time skip Time skip Time skip
"Hey Tristana, my cousin is having a Halloween party and you're, like, totally invited!" Vayne says to Tristana a few days after the yearbook making. The two of them are walking down the hallway at school together, but Ashe and Miss Fortune aren't around.
"Great! What are we wearing?" Tristana asks.
"Whatever you like," Vayne replies, "as long as it's a normal outfit. It's just a party, not a costume party."
"Cool, thanks," Tristana replies.
"Oh, and could you invite Miss Fortune for me? I have a lot of work to do on the yearbooks still, so I don't have time to text her."
"Sure thing!" Tristana replies, now used to Vayne's unusual requests and eager to fulfill them. "Do you want me to invite Ashe too?"
"That loser?" Vayne huffs. "As if! It took her three hours to take a yearbook-worthy ugly selfie. THREE HOURS! I mean, you're new, and yours was ready to go. Ashe should be more like you," Vayne says, smiling.
"Aww, thanks," Tristana replies. She likes being friends with Vayne, and wishes she could be Vayne's best friend instead of Miss Fortune. If only… wait a minute!"
Tristana smirks as she comes up with a mean plan for how to be Vayne's best friend.
Vayne's cousin is having a costume party, Tristana texts Miss Fortune, and you're invited! Make sure to wear the most outrageous costume ever, because there is a prize for the best one. Ttyl!
Tristana laughs evilly, then sits back and waits for her plan to be put into motion….
Time skip Time skip Time skip
Tristana is having fun talking to people at the party, when suddenly Miss Fortune enters the house in a cowgirl outfit!
"MISS FORTUNE?!" Vayne exclaims. "WHY ARE YOU WEARING A COWGIRL OUTFIT?!"
"I-I thought it was a costume party," Miss Fortune mumbles.
"LIKE, OMG, GG, REPORT NOOB FRIEND FOR BEING A FASHION NOOB!" Vayne yells.
"B-but—"
"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
"WAAAAAAH!" Miss Fortune cries, running away from the party.
"WHAT ARE YOU ALL STARING AT?!" Vayne exclaims, causing everyone else at the party, who was staring at her, to go back to partying.
Time skip Time skip Time skip
"Ugh, I can't believe my friends were such looser noobs!" Vayne complains as she works on the yearbook. "I'm glad you're not a looser noob," Vayne tells Tristana.
"Why thank you," Tristana replies.
"Say, Tristana? What goofy quote should I put next to these two losers' names? Like, they're so weird, I don't even know them."
"Let me see," Tristana says, looking to see what losers Vayne is talking about. The yearbook is now full of everyone's goofy selfies and Vayne is finishing up putting a funny word or saying next to everyone's name that goes with their goofy picture.
Tristana looks at the pictures and are surprised they are pictures of Lulu and Pix. She kind of wants to tell Vayne they aren't losers… but then Vayne wouldn't like her, and Vayne is a better friend anyways. Besides, after looking at Lulu's goofy face, Tristana has an idea….
"Her quote should be "I'm 'purple'", but put the 'purple' in quotes, because it really means 'nutty'."
"Hahaha yes! It goes with her picture too," Vayne remarks, pointing out that Lulu's goofy selfie expression is one of the weirdest of them all. "Ok, what about him?" Vayne asks, pointing to Pix.
"One word: 'Tinkerbell'," Tristana says.
"AHAHAHAHA! Good one!" Vayne exclaims.
"Thanks," Tristana says, eager for the yearbook to come out.
Time skip Time skip Time skip
"Hey Lulu, get a load of the yearbook! It's hilarious!" Pix exclaims.
"I don't know, some of these sayings are really mean," Lulu says, frowning.
"Let's look up ourselves!" Pix says.
"I-I just did," Lulu says, reading their yearbook sayings and struggling not to cry.
"WHAT?!" Pix exclaims, reading his yearbook quote. "TINKERBELL?! You're the only person I let call me that. WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!"
Just then, the announcement system beeps. "Tristana Boomer to the principal's office."
"TRISTANA!" Lulu and Pix exclaim, looking at each other as they realize Tristana was the only other person who overheard their inside-joke nicknames for each other… and that she must have betrayed them!
"Good riddance!" Pix huffs.
"Y-yeah, s-she deserves to get in trouble for that," Lulu cries. "Stupid Tristana! Betraying us to Vayne like that!"
Time skip Time skip Time skip
"WHAT?! WHY AM I GETTING IN TROUBLE?!" Tristana yells. "IT WAS ALL VAYNE'S IDEA!"
"Tristana, we know it was you who sabotaged the yearbook. Miss Fortune showed us this text," the principal says, pulling Miss Fortune's phone out of a drawer in his desk and showing Tristana the text she sent Miss Fortune about the party being a costume party. "If you sabotaged that, I think it's safe to say you would sabotage other things as well. Vayne has always been a good yearbook maker. She would never fill it with ugly selfies and mean quotes.
"GRR! THIS IS SO UNFAIR!" Tristana yells.
"Enjoy your suspension. You've earned it," the principal says angrily.
Time skip Time skip Time skip
Tristana slowly walks up the steps to school. She isn't eager to be back. By now, everyone certainly knows that she helped make the yearbook and they probably hate her, and she has no friends. Tristana slowly opens the door, and the first person she sees upon entering the school is Lulu.
"Hey," Lulu says quietly.
"Hey," Tristana replies. Lulu turns to go, and Tristana feels bad. "Lulu, wait! I've been a real jerk. I got so caught up with trying to be popular that I forgot that true friends are more important than popularity. I can't take back the insults from the yearbook… but maybe I can cheer you up?" Tristana suggests, pulling a DVD version of the most recent season of Doctor Who out of her backpack and handing it to Lulu.
"Hmm… maybe, but I'll have to ask Pix. Pix?" Lulu calls.
"TINKERBELL?!" Pix yells, growing to full size next to Lulu. "That was low, yo," he says, glaring at Tristana. "You can come over, I guess, but it'll be awhile before we cool."
"That's fine, and I'm sorry. Thanks for giving me a second chance," Tristana says, and she means it. She knows she messed up, and just wants her friends back.
Suddenly, the three friends start glowing. When the glowing stops, they are toddlers again.
"Whew, glad that's over!" the principal says, upon seeing they are toddlers again. "Was I really that annoying as a teenager?" He shrugs. "Oh well, back to babysitting," he says, taking his "Principal" nametag off and replacing it with one that says "Daycare Staff". "Whelp, time to find another daycare."
AN: So I couldn't think of anything more to do with toddler champions so I did this high school chapter. I might do more toddler stories, maybe something with Camille, or I might make a new high school story. If I do, I'll let you know here. I might also take a break from League of Legends stories though.
So, something awkward though. When I was halfway through writing this story, I tried Vayne out on free week… and I liked her. I was like 'What?! She's one of those champs that everyone hates! I don't usually like those champs!' But I do like her. I've been playing adc lately, and it's nice to have a champ that can dash away from those annoying assassins who I'm still learning the re-worked abilities of, as well as blitzcrank hooks. So, yeah. I'M NOT TOXIC, I PROMISE! Lolz.