Chapter 5: Don't Ever Let Go

Hang on,

When the water is rising,

When the waves are crashing,

Hang on.

The fierce resistance of water caved before the slicing cut of his hand, the gurgle of bubbles an echoing hum in his ears and he ploughed through the water. He stroked his arms hard, fast, powering through the waves of his passage that swirled around him and made little impact in their sorry attempt to waylay his speed.

Nothing would slow him. Not now.

Heartbeat thudding in his ears, Haru gasped the barest of breaths before taking one stroke, two, then launching himself into a flip at the wall. He rolled, curled tightly, and the balls of his feet barely had a moment to press firmly against tiles before he was pushing away from them once more.

It was the thrill of it that he lived for. The thrill of the swim, of the violent stroking, the flying speed and the chase. After years, Haru still wouldn't prioritise the numbers. He still didn't long for the bellows of the crowds, the triumph of victory. Such was negligible when compared to the greater thrill of swimming as fast as he could, of pushing himself to his limits, of shedding whatever residue of distant numbness existed within him and outpacing those waves that rose and sucked at him in a gasping demand for attention.

Haru hadn't fallen prey to the constricting numbness in a long time. He didn't need it and he didn't miss it. Not one bit.

The end of the pool was upon him almost before he realised it. At the speed he was going, one glance for breath could be followed a second later by the sudden end of the race. Haru didn't slow at the sight of it; if anything his arms swept faster, feet kicked harder, and in a powerful burst he launched himself to the end. His hand slapped tiles in a clapping splash.

Cheers echoed through the cavernous room, applause following and resounding off the walls, off the tumultuous, roiling waves that followed in Haru's wake. Not loudly, however. Not the roaring of a real crowd, the deafening cries that pervaded even waterlogged ears. Dropping his feet to the ground, Haru reached a hand to his goggles and tugged goggles and cap from his head before glancing in the direction of the poolside.

His friends clapped ecstatically, Makoto beaming wide enough to crinkle his eyes, Rei with sincere admiration as he had always held, Kou in a dance of claps and flails alongside her friend Hanamura who more often than not accompanied her to their get togethers these days. At Makoto's side, Sousuke was nodding his head as he too clapped, as though he was personally approving of the race. Even Amakata-sensei, an honorary member of their group from years gone by, was clapping with real enthusiasm from her seat beside Sasabe.

Really, one would think that they didn't see just such a race every time they all returned to their old haunt. That they hadn't just witnessed numerous such races already that afternoon.

"Reckon I beat you that time."

Haru glanced towards Rin over his shoulder, to where he was similarly tugging his cap and goggles from his head. His shoulders were heaving slightly as he panted yet his fierce grin vanquished any signs of weariness from the exertion. Rin was always like that; he wasn't exhausted by racing, regardless of how long he swum for. His own thrill only seemed to excite him further. Just as it did for himself, Haru supposed, though perhaps for slightly different reasons.

"We'll never know," Haru said with a shrug.

"I would wager Sasabe was watching close enough to tell," Rin said.

"So what, you're going to ask him?"

Snorting, Rin shook his head. Turning to the wall, he tossed cap and goggle onto the tiles before hauling himself up to sit on the edge with a sigh as his breathing slowly returned to normal. "We said we wouldn't get it checked for these races. I'm not going back on my word."

Haru allowed himself a small smile at that. They'd made that pact years ago, when they'd both first moved out of town to tread into the wider world yet sworn to their old friends that they'd return frequently. Haru wasn't sure who had suggested it first, but that their first call of duty would be to race – 'for old times sake', or so everyone always said – had become something of a tradition. Haru and Rin had continued just that tradition for years, would always race by way of a greeting. Sasabe's pool was their meeting place, and almost before they spoke a word they would throw themselves into a race.

Haru had arrived at the centre late that afternoon yet apparently only minutes after Rin. The last of the lessons for the day were finishing up, students taking their leave alongside congratulatory parents, and the pool was left open solely to them and their friends. So they'd raced. Haru and Rin had thrown themselves into the competition that would never grow tiresome, that would never be tiring, and Haru had lost himself to the water, to the stretch of muscles as he swept through it. To Rin at his side as he pushed him further and faster. Rin would always be the one to urge Haru towards more.

The windows consuming one wall of the leisure centre showed it to have darkened to nearly night outside, but none of their friends protested. No one seemed anything but enthusiastic when Haru and Rin raced, and always encouraged them for 'just one more'. Haru had lost count of how many they'd already turned that afternoon, neck and neck, barely an inch between them. He and Rin, they'd always been that way. It had always been a constant battle of wills as much as skill that they pitted against one another. Even at nationals, at an international level, when Haru raced it was always against Rin. At least in his mind that was.

"Nagisa's going to be upset he missed your races," Rei called from across the pool, momentarily drawing Haru's attention.

"Well, maybe he should have made sure he got here on time, then?" Rin said easily. There wasn't even the barely hint of reprimand in his words.

"He'll probably just demand you have another one tomorrow," Kou said, grinning as she resumed her seat between Amakata-sensei and Hanamura.

"I'm not complaining," Rin said with a shrug as he climbed to his feet. Haru watched him stretch in satisfaction, couldn't help but draw his gaze to the bunching of muscles along his torso, the tightening in his arms as he raised them overhead and sighed with satisfaction. It was impossible not to look sometimes, and after so long… it felt like it had been a long, long time since he'd last seen Rin. Haru wasn't complaining that their first correspondence was in a series of almost aggressive races, wasn't begrudging their friends' presence, but even so. It would be nice to be alone with him.

"Maybe we should just tell him to meet us at the restaurant?" Makoto suggested, glancing towards Rei as the usual correspondent between Nagisa and the rest of the world. That was the way of it in recent months apparently, though Haru hadn't been around enough to determine the validity of Kou's insistent explanation for the subject. No matter how hard Nagisa was to get in contact with, Rei always had a way. The pair of them had always been like that, had been practically co-dependent for years.

"Yeah, probably a good idea," Rei agreed, already pulling his phone from his pocket.

"I think they'll leave without us if we don't hurry up," Rin said, finally dropping his arms to his side as he turned his attention back towards Haru. Not that he was any less distracting than from the easier pose. Haru had never quite been enchanted by anyone to the point of being unable to stop staring before he'd met Rin, but that enchantment only seemed to mount over the years rather than desensitise. "Are you intending to ever get out of the pool?"

Haru drew towards the edge, propping an elbow on the tiles. "Not really," he said, and was only half joking.

Rin grinned as though he heard both the sincerity and the jest. Stepping forwards, he bent to wrap his hand in a familiar grasp around Haru's wrist. "You're throwing me to the wolves by sending me out with them all by myself."

"You say that like they're a bad thing," Haru replied, but allowed himself to be tugged bodily from the water with little effort on his own part. Whether it was simply habit that had made it so easy for Rin or something else, he'd always been readily able to pull Haru after him. Almost too easily. Haru ignored the fact that most of the time he found he quite wanted to follow. Whenever everything got too overwhelming, whenever Haru started to question, which was little enough these days anyway, it was always Rin's hold that would ground him once more.

Rin didn't release him as he glanced back towards where their friends chatting idly. "We'll just be in the showers, okay?" He called, and received nods and raised hands in reply. A moment later and he was turning once more and starting towards the showers. Haru wouldn't have been able to help following even had he a desire to for the grasp Rin still locked around his wrist.

They were barely around the corner, barely out of sight of their friends, before Rin paused in step and turned back towards him. Haru didn't have a chance to take a step back before Rin was upon him, was finally releasing his to wrap around Haru waist and pull him towards him. Haru responded instinctively, naturally, and wrapped an arm around Rin in return. He didn't much care if anyone saw, but it was certainly easier to lose himself in Rin's lips, in the feel of him, than to explain what was really between them to curious eyes. Haru unconsciously urged Rin towards the wall, pressing against him. Too long. It had been far too long. Haru had always known he would miss Rin when he was gone, just as he always truly had since that first time when they were kids, but that knowledge was made only more profound by feeling it.

There was few enough things that could compare to the release of sinking into water, the escape of diving into that echoing hollowness that bereft the flow of air into the lungs yet cocooned in a loving embrace. And yet for Haru, Rin would certainly be one of those things. The feeling of Rin's hands upon him, curling around him and drawing him flush against him to fit perfectly as though it was entirely natural. The feel of the Rin's lips against his, the softness juxtaposing against the sharp bite of teeth in a hungry, almost desperate longing, the taste of a tongue slipping into his mouth that was thoroughly intoxicating. The hardness of a cool, damp chest against Haru's own, of tensing muscles as Rin's arms shifted and rose to wrap around him in a hold that forbade him from stepping away.

Not that Haru would. He was fairly certain that should he even attempt to, should he even think about pulling away from him, Rin would hang onto him with a vengeance.

It was a good thing that he really, really didn't want to.

They paused but for a moment, the gasping of breath a mimic of their breathlessness after the race. Haru didn't bother to open his eyes, resting his head against the side of Rin's as they paused but briefly.

"I missed you," Rin murmured into his ear without a hint of his usual teasing tone. It had taken a long time for him to be able to speak with such sincerity, without any blushing embarrassment, yet these days when they were alone he seemed only too eager to demonstrate his skill in doing so.

Haru didn't reply. He knew he didn't really need to. Instead, he simply tightened his hold around Rin, allowing them to sink further against one another, to fit into place in a fast hold, a tight embrace that Haru didn't consider sharing with anyone else even for a moment.

There were a few things in particular in the world that Haru lived for. He lived to swim, for the addictive embrace of the water as it both fought against him and wrapped him in welcoming, fluid folds. He lived for his friends, for the sporadic reunions with Makoto when he could take the time off work, with Rei and Nagisa and Kou and even Sousuke, who had grown less and less antagonistic over the years. And he lived for Rin.

I missed you too, Haru thought but didn't say. He was sure Rin heard him anyway.

The rain from the shower was warm, almost scalding hot, but Rin hardly noticed. It was negligible in the greater scheme of things, barely worthy of consideration. Not when there was something of far greater importance on his hands.

Haru's fingers tugged at him, one upon the elastic waistband of his swimmers and the other as it wrapped around the back of his head. Both drew Rin closer in a way that he was only happy to oblige, leaning into Haru in turn and pressing both hands on the wall on either side of his head. He let himself be directed, let Haru drag his head closer and press their lips together in a hot, messy and slightly frantic kiss.

How long had it been since last time? Since they'd last seen one another, last raced, last kissed? Rin knew exactly how long – he always knew exactly – but in that moment he couldn't quite recall. It hardly seemed of consequence when Haru was drawing Rin's tongue into his mouth, curling his own around it in a caress that sent shudders down Rin's spine, only to draw away slightly for a gasp before diving in once more. His hair was matted to his forehead, nearly covering his closed eyes and streaming rivers of pool and shower water. Rin barely had the headspace to snatch a glimpse of his face, of his lips reddened by frantic kisses, of his arched neck before he locked his lips to Haru's skin and bit just enough to be felt. The groan elicited was barely audible, but enough to send a torrent of warmth flushing through Rin once more. Haru was always quiet, even in such heated exchanges, so the slightest hint of sound was like music to Rin's ears.

It had been a tearing race. The thrill of the competition. The coursing adrenaline. It all built up in a climax as Rin had slapped his hand to the far wall, but it hadn't entirely faded upon climbing from the pool. Instead, it had only changed as he'd pulled Haru from the poolside and into the showers, wedging the doorstop behind them as an afterthought and blessing Coach Sasade for whatever reason he'd decided to leave one lying about the showers. Maybe Rin didn't want to know.

After that, it had been almost reflexive to fall upon Haru, to lean into him and lose himself in kisses just as Haru pressed himself against him in turn. The shower had been but an afterthought to stave off the chill of winter that pervaded even the change rooms, but Rin barely spared it a second thought. He was more than content to lose himself in dropping a hand down to Haru's waist, fingers grazed slick skin as he pressed himself against him. The heat flooding to his groin was impossible to ignore, and as Haru shifted slightly against him, pressing his own hips back into him, Rin was made only starkly more aware of how much he wanted him. It didn't matter how long it had been; long or short, he wanted Haru desperately right now. He always did.

And Haru, as he had said years ago, wanted him right back.

In a moment of which Rin had dropped his lips back to Haru's neck, Haru's fingers rising from his waist to hook around his shoulder and draw him closer, it was to offhandedly voice a passing thought. "I don't suppose you know when Nagisa was getting here, do you?"

Haru puffed a breath against Rin's ear in a sound that was a mixture of amusement and vague affront. "That you're even thinking about Nagisa right now…"

Rin smirked into his shoulder, pressing himself more firmly against Haru to lock him against the wall in a way that made it impossible to miss it was definitely not Nagisa who was making him feel quite as he was at that moment. He tilted his head back to meet Haru's eyes were they stared at him with a slightly raised eyebrow. The scolding expression was dampened somewhat by the hint of a flush in cheeks. "Can you blame me? After last time?"

"He didn't see anything," Haru said, though his lips twitched in a hint of amusement at the memory. "I asked him afterwards."

"And you're so good at feeling people out, are you?" Rin asked, grazing his teeth upon Haru's lips for another kiss. Only to jump slightly as Haru drew his hand down his buttocks in a clearly indicative gesture.

"I think I'm pretty good at it, yeah," he murmured into Rin's lips. Rin could feel the self-satisfaction that rippled from him in a way that most people wouldn't even recognise. Even after years of intimacy, Rin would still at times find himself surprised at Haru's forwardness. For someone who was usually so reserved, it never ceased to amaze Rin all over again when they got back together after time apart.

"Cocky, much?" Rin said, canting his hips forwards into Haru just enough that a shudder of pleasure drew through him. If Haru's faint huff was any indication, he wasn't alone in feeling quite so turned on.

"Do you think up these innuendo's in the shower of something?" Haru asked, hooking his other arm over Rin's shoulder to draw him even closer until he was practically crushed against the wall.

Rin followed the suggestion obligingly. "It's only one of many things I do in the shower."

Haru smirked, but he didn't reply. Rin was quite content to take the offering of another kiss, wrapping his arms around Haru in turn and losing himself in his lips.

He would have done too, but like the devil summoned by his name, Rin should have known better. A thump at the door to the change rooms resounded, followed by a rapid series of knocks and an, "Oi. Is this locked?"

Rin paused in the act of planting another kiss on Haru's lips, glancing sidelong through the spray showering over them in the direction of the door. Haru similarly stilled, and Rin didn't need to turn towards him to know that he too had glanced towards the door.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Rin muttered.

"It's like he heard you," Haru replied.

"I was thinking exactly the same thing."

Another series of knocks rung through the change rooms. "Haru-chan? Rin-chan? Oi, can you hear me? It's rude to lock people out, you know."

Oh, if only you knew, Nagisa, Rin thought, rolling his eyes as he turned and dropped his head onto Haru's shoulder. True, they probably should have chosen more appropriate circumstances for a reunion, but this time had been weeks. Exactly four weeks and three days, Rin recalled as a modicum of clarity settled itself upon him. He didn't like such distance as it was, almost longed for the end of the season when they could both move back home, and he hadn't been able to help himself. Haru had apparently been the same.

"So annoying," Haru murmured into the side of Rin's head. He didn't sound overly annoyed, however, but simply resigned. His hands had dropped to the back of Rin's swimmers and were tugging idly. "He couldn't have waited for another five minutes to show up?"

"Five minutes?" Rin replied, lifting his head to meet Haru's gaze. His blue eyes were still wide and darkened, cheeks still flushed and lips bitten to redness, and Rin had to wonder how anyone wouldn't be able to tell what they'd been doing. "I don't know about you, but I don't think five minutes would have –"

"Haru-chaaan! Riiin-chaaan!" Another knock sounded. "If you guys are having a party, you should invite everyone else along. First night back festivities shouldn't be celebrated in isolation!"

Rin couldn't help but snort and even Haru's lips twitched a smile. Before he could stop himself, Rin glanced in the direction of the door and raised his voice to reply. "I don't think you'd like this kind of party, Nagisa."

"Oh, you are there!" Nagisa replied, missing Rin's words for the validation of his question. "Hello! It's been a while!"

"He missed it," Rin said, turning back to Haru.

Haru nodded. "He missed it. Which is probably a good thing."

"Probably."

"Unless you wanted to tell them?"

Rin scrunched his nose. He would. Eventually. He wasn't sure when, but he would. Now just didn't seem like the time, however. Rin didn't know how to approach that conversation in the slightest. "Maybe not now."

Haru's smile drew slightly wider a little too knowingly. "Maybe."

"Hurry up! You're doing this on purpose, now."

"Believe it or not, Nagisa, our every action isn't in direct response to you," Rin said, though quietly enough that Nagisa wouldn't have been able to hear him. Sighing and shaking his head, biting back a groan of regret, Rin pushed himself off of Haru and straightened. Haru followed his motion, tapping a hand to the automated button to shut off the water flow.

"Get this over with, then?" Rin asked.

"Nagisa would be upset if he heard you sound so begrudging," Haru said.

"I'm not begrudging seeing him. I'm just begrudging seeing him now," Rin emphasised. "And if you tell me you're otherwise I'll consider myself personally offended."

Haru shook his head but he didn't deny Rin's suggestion. He allowed himself to be drawn after Rin from the shower in the direction of the change room door, Rin's fingers reaching for him to curl in their familiar grasp around his wrist. Rin was sure they must look particularly guilty when they stepped through the door, but he didn't really care. And Nagisa being Nagisa didn't notice. He set about simultaneously greeting them and scolding them for their delay as Rin and Haru proceeded to dry themselves with their towels.

Rin spared a glance towards Haru over Nagisa's head as he bounced on his toes between them. Haru met his gaze beneath the draping length of a towel as he scrubbed his hair. There was the hint of his smile once more, and that itself was good enough for Rin.

Nagisa had incredibly poor timing, but it was good enough for him. For now.

A/N: Hi everyone! Thank you so much for reading. I hope you liked the story, short as it was (for me at least). If you did, or if you have anything to say, please let me know in a review. I'd absolutely LOVE to hear from you. Thank you to the lovely people who have already reviewed - seriously, Paint Your Lips Blood Red your review was absolutely the loveliest thing! Thank you!