That night he was told the news that he had been waiting to hear. Raze has arranged for a cargo ship to take them out of the US. It would leave at midnight the following evening.
"So soon?" Lucian had asked.
"You're welcome boss." Raze had replied as he had stalked away to tell the rest of the company.
There would be no vampire hunt tonight, everything needed to be gathered in preparation for the long sea voyage ahead. Lucian paced around the sewers watching their progress.
So soon. He had not expected this. He had thought, hoped, that the arrangements might take days, perhaps even weeks longer. He had not anticipated Raze's efficiency.
But Catherine…God Catherine! She had no idea that he was leaving and that the hours of daylight ahead would be their last together.
"I must go to her now." He concluded. He wanted to drink in as much of her as possible.
He turned abruptly and headed to the nearest exit. Raze saw where he was headed and followed.
"Lucian," he called, "there can be no hunting tonight."
"I have no intention to hunt."
"Your things, we must pack up your things, and time is short."
Lucian turns to him savagely.
"Leave them." He snaps.
"You cannot mean that."
"What need I of things where we are going!" he cries with fire in his eyes.
Raze looks confused for a second.
"Lucian, I do not understand…"
"Leave me be Raze!" he cries, "I will meet you at the dock."
Raze, stunned, cries back at Lucian's retreating form. "You intend to be gone until tomorrow? Lucian? Lucian!"
But it is too late for his leader and friend has already gone.
Lucian leaps into the darkness of the night and runs with unnatural speed towards Catherine's abode.
He is careless at night. His movements do not go unnoticed.
Catherine is awoken by a hammering on the door. Instinctively she checks the time- it is 5 hours until sunrise. She moves nervously to the door of her apartment, her blood pumping. She chances a peep into the corridor of the building through the door viewer. There staring directly at her is Lucian, panting. Clearly he has run far. Swiftly she opens the door her heart still hammering from the shock of seeing him at this time- something must have happened for him to be here now, she worried what that might mean. Lucian rushes into the apartment and quickly closes and locks the door behind him. His back to the door he pulls her towards him and buries his face into her neck and her tumbled hair breathing in her scent as she holds him tightly in absolute shock.
"What is it?" she asks, lacing her fingers into his hair and holding him tighter. She looks him over for the usual signs of injury but tonight his clothes are immaculate and free of blood. "What has happened?"
"I feared you might have been a dream." He mumbles into her neck and breaths in her scent once more, drinking her deep into his very soul.
"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." She replies with a smile. "You told me that."
He looks at her now and returns the smile. "So I did."
She kisses him and whispers, "I am real." Pulling away from him Catherine cups his cheek with her hand. "You on the other hand, you are the unreal creature."
He kisses her deep and slow, savouring the taste of her. After a while she pulls away, breathless.
"Why are you here Lucian?"
He stares at that lovely face- different in every way to Sonja's. "I want to stay the night." He replies.
Catherine smiles and take his hand leading him to the bed.
"Then stay." She whispers and kisses him again.
2 hours to sunrise and Lucian lays in bed next to an angel. This is something he has never done before and he revels in this first experience nearly 500 years in the making. She sleeps softly for the moment but he cannot join her in pleasant dreams, he is still thinking about how he might tell her. He, ever the coward he scolds himself bitterly, has not said a word about it yet, but he must and soon.
Lucian looks over at her sleeping form. She truly was a goddess, superior to him in every way, for where he had been closed and secretive she had been open, warm and loving. He did not deserve her. She had given him everything where he had shared nothing. He had made her no promises, gave no reassurance, confessed no fond feelings. He hoped he had conveyed them to her beyond words but who knew if she had understood this.
She stirred now and he cut off these thoughts. What right did he have to think of love when he could give her nothing but fear and danger? He could not place her in harm's way, he knew that now. It might destroy him to see her hurt or worse… No he must leave, and he must tell her so.
"Still here." She murmurs contentedly.
He holds her close and whispers, "Where would I go?"
She smiles and falls back to sleep entrenched in his arms.
Later, he would tell her later.
"Let me enjoy this now." He warns the darkness.
At sunrise she wakes proper and rises from the bed. Catherine had never know such peace in the night, but then what harm could befall her with Lucian at her side?
She made her way to the kitchen area and then paused to look back at him. He was awake she knew, she doubted that he had slept at all.
"Are you staying?" she asks, matter-of-factly.
He looks down for a second, thinking what he should say, before meeting her steady gaze once again.
"Until the sunset if it pleases you."
Overjoyed she rushes back to him on the bed and embraces him.
"Yes it pleases me!" she cries and hugs him tight.
Lucian is struck with a pang of guilt. He could have told her then but he could not face it, but he cannot deceive her for much longer.
"Catherine, there is something I must tell…"
She stops him. The sadness in his voice had frightened her.
"Later. Tell me later."
He nods and they embrace again, hearts thumping.
A sweet day, a wonderful day, one to be remembered and cherished for all time, but Catherine knew that a shadow loomed overhead. She could ignore it for a time, which is exactly what she had done, but soon it had to be addressed.
He wanted to tell her his secret- that is what she thought, and she was scared that this new knowledge would change things between them. This was what she was afraid of the most. But at the same time she was elated- he wanted to tell her his secret! Surely this meant he felt strongly for her, that he trusted her, that he must love her? She was afraid, yes, of course she was afraid of what he might tell her, but she was excited too, excited at what his confidence would mean. Perhaps he would confess his love, and she had longed to hear those words.
It is 2 hours until sunset and she is ready to listen, her heart is pounding.
"There was something you wanted to tell me?"
Lucian stills. Every muscle in his body becomes tense. It had been easy to try and pretend that this conversation never had to take place, but he could not pretend any longer. Catherine looked nervous but there was hope in her eyes. It pained him to have to extinguish that.
"I must leave."
Catherine blinks, her heart pounds. "Now?"
"No, at sunrise." A pause creeps in between them. She hears her heart pounding still. It is almost deafening.
"When are you going to come back?" she asks shakily. He looks down at the floor.
"Not for a long time, if ever."
"What!" Catherine is stunned, her foolish hopes in tatters are still raw in her mind.
"Where are you going?" She demands.
"I cannot tell you."
Hurt now, she stumbles on. "Why are you leaving?"
He looks at her with sad eyes. "I cannot tell you."
Anger surges through her blood. "No! Nothing! You give me nothing!"
She is shouting, hot angry tears fall from her lashes.
His vengeful goddess, she was spectacular, but he never deserved her, he realises that now.
"I am sorry Catherine."
"Sorry!" she roars, "Do you even know the meaning of that word?"
"Forgive me." His hurt matches her own, but he will not show it. He dare not.
"Do you love me?" she asks angrily.
"What?"
"Do. You. Love. Me?" She spits the words at him.
"Catherine, you cannot ask me that." He is pleading with her now. His furious angel.
"Why not!" she screams.
He is rattled. "Because I would only lie to you to keep you safe!" He snaps back at her.
Shaken, she turns from him. Her hopes are in ruins, rapidly sinking to the bottom of a dark ocean like a lead weight. Her eyes sting as does her bruised heart. A shuddered breath escape her as she fights back the sobs of despair.
"You brought me to life." She whispers.
"And you I." he replies softly.
She spins to face him again. "Then why do you have to leave?"
He considers this for a moment. Revenge, that is why he is leaving, but could he give that up? Could he give up his lifelong revenge for her? No, he decides, it is not just his revenge, it is for Sonja not just for him. He had to go on.
"I leave because I must."
He goes to her and holds her and she weeps into his arms. He knows now that he cannot ask for her to wait for him. It is too selfish a thought and he has already hurt her too much. He cannot linger, he must leave lest he be persuaded to stay…she could do that.
"My ship leaves at midnight, I must go." Tearing himself from her arms he kisses her for the last time.
"Goodbye, Catherine the Great."
And with that he was gone.