My third week of high school is going well so far. It's only Wednesday and three more robots have attacked; one second hour and fifth hour on Monday, and this one right now.
I duck and roll, avoiding a slash from the robotic wolf's chainsaw. I still find it strange that students have stopped being stanked. No matter, I don't have to worry about hurting lifeless pieces of machinery.
Wiiirrr
Jumping up into one of the select trees on the NHS lawn with help from my wings, I taunt the bot that's trying to regain balance after completely missing me for the quadrillionth time. C'mon it just fell into the tree next to me, I can't help it.
"Looks like you're barkin' up the wrong tree, Chainsaw Werewolf!"
I won't admit it to his face, but Nomi Sensei has seriously improved my skills. And it has only been two lessons! Viceroy is gonna have to take it up a notch to catch this Ninja.
In retaliation, it slices down my tree.
"What did that poor tree ever do to you? Watch it!" I flip backwards. "I need that arm ya' know!" Theresa wrote her number on that arm and I still need to transfer it to my phone. Left arms are also useful for… who knows. Helping the right arm?
We were doing PE outside today, so I have an audience. Everyone has accepted the weirdness by now; Norrisville High has a guardian Ninja. That's that. More and more stay and watch instead of fleeing in terror. There's even a few fangirls who try to find loose feathers that I lose during the fights and put them in their hair.
Howard accused me of being a show off on Monday and I can practically hear him thinking it right now as I wave to the onlookers. Maybe I should get my sword out and finish this.
"Ninja slice!" Aw yeah baby! Who's da Ninja? I'm da Ninja! The bot crumples to the ground.
A cheer goes up from the third hour gym students.
"Anda smokebomb!"
Before I throw it down however, I spot Mrs. Driscoll's third hour science class. Hunched over on the sidewalk, they are watching ants. Science was my previous class so I know why they're out here, but not exactly what they are doing. Howard and I maybe sorta talked the entire time. The most noticeable figure in the class is Theresa.
With a new destination in mind, I complete my ritual and appear not too far from them. This is a bad idea… the Ninja hasn't seen Theresa since last week in the cafeteria. What if she she's freaked out by me? What would I do then if she ever found out Randy Cunningham is the Ninja? What if-
"Ninja!" The girl in question smiles. "What are you doing out here?"
"Oh, you know, just making sure you guys are okay. Didn't you notice the robot?" I come closer. The other students whisper excitedly to each other. Very few have tried to approach me, the exception being Debbie Kang. Go figure.
"We did, but nothing stops Mrs. Driscoll from science." She goes back to watching her piece of paper. I crouch next to her.
"What are you doing?"
"Watching to see what food sample ants prefer."
"Interesting." I stand and address the class as a whole. "The robot has been defeated and you may carry on in peace. Smokebomb!"
"Where were you Cunningham? Coach Green took attendance and I had to cover for you." Howard pulls off his gym shirt, replacing it with his usual blue tee. The fight took up most of class.
"I was making sure the science class was alright." I put my normal clothes on as well. Do you know how hard it is to keep the scarf hidden during gym class? After forgetting it last Thursday, I always make sure to transfer it to my new change of clothing.
"Making sure the class was alright or making sure Theresa was alright? I do have eyes you know," he said, looking pointedly at me while closing his locker.
"C'mon man! We're just friends."
"That's what they always say and soon you're left playing Grave Punchers solo."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I follow him out of the locker room. "Howard talk to me!"
"She sat with us at lunch that one time, you guys were at the party together… I don't know. I just didn't realize how much high school would change things. You're NNSing all the time too."
The bell rings.
"N-N-S-ing?" We join the crowd of students heading to lunch.
"Ninja no-showing," he replies, arms crossed.
"I can't help it! Ugh what do you want me to do?" I don't no-show, I just show a little later than expected. Keeping the school destanked and safe is my responsibility. It's also one of the only responsibilities I take seriously, right next to being best bros with Howard.
"Just… don't get hurt, okay?" he concedes. His black eye has faded by now.
Someone hesitantly taps my arm from behind.
"Hey Randy?" Theresa's hands are clasped and once again is not meeting my eyes.
"Um, hey to you too." I stop, the flow of students splitting around us.
She glances worriedly past me. "Can I talk to you?"
"Shoot."
The moment extends longer than the sociably acceptable amount of silence. Hoboy, whatever she has to say must be serious.
With a puff of frustration, Theresa addresses Howard directly. "You know… there's gravy fries today. It'd be a shame to miss them."
His eyes light up. "Gravy fries?! Nobody told me this!" Wasting no more time with words, he takes off as fast as his short legs can carry him. Gravy fries were the stuff of legend in middle school. High schoolers would tell us the tales of these fries and laugh, leaving us hungry and dreaming of such perfection that couldn't possibly exist.
I'm about to follow when Theresa clears her throat.
"Right…" I try not to groan. Howard will never stop taunting me if he gets them and I don't!
"Earlier you said that we should play videogames sometime, can we do that today?" Her normally full, perfect smile is stunted; the corners of her mouth turned up just enough to pass as cheerful.
"Sure, like at my house? My room's a bit of a mess. I'll tell Howard and-"
"I was thinking more… you and me." Her eyes flash up and then back down.
"That works too," I say. I guess Howard was kinda rude to her the other day…
"Great! Can I have your address? I'll have to stop home first." We're the only ones left in the hall.
I write on her left arm like she did mine Monday
I quickly shove miscellaneous items into my closet and take empty dishes to the kitchen. I just got home from school, feeling bad at turning Howard down on a few rounds of Grave Punchers. He'll live. There's snacks, drinks… why am I worrying so much? I never go through all this trouble for Howard.
My mom works til 5:30. Right now it's 3:17.
She's always bugging me about making new friends; she won't mind that Theresa dropped in without warning. I think.
Honking juice I haven't showered since Monday! And this shirt's a goner even by Howard's standards. Ugh I feel so self-conscious. I'm never self-conscious. What's your problem today Cunningham?
It's not like this is a- no. Stay away from the D word.
Date.
Gosh wonk it.
I only need ten minutes tops. Maybe less. One time I took a shower in two minutes and five seconds. I know because Howard timed me, but that's beside the point.
Grabbing some of the clothes I dumped in the closet (black McSkinnies, purple tee, and underwear) I rush to the bathroom. Clean clothes unceremoniously thrown onto the counter, dirty ones likewise on the floor, I turn on the water. 3:25. I can do this. No time for hair though.
"Cold cold cold that is really cold." I hop from foot to foot. Water takes forever to get warm on this end of the house. I don't finish in record time, but it had to be close.
Toweling myself off, I pull on the underwear and then do the skinny jean dance. I reach for the shirt… only to find out it's not clean.
"Are you honking kidding me right now." Without a second thought I head out the door for my room. Then the front door opens.
"I don't think the doorbell works and your neighbor…" Theresa shakes her head, spotting me. "I take it you were expecting me?" Her eyes sparkle with amusement.
She always catches me at the worst times, I swear.
"I- what? Yes. No." I take a deep breath. "Hold on a sec."
In my room I discover a clean, white t-shirt and a red beanie, because why not.
"Your tattoo is of crow wings?" She had followed me into my room. "They're so detailed."
I freeze. "You could say that." There's no way she could connect the tattoo to the Ninja, right?
She nods. "Cool. Is your mom home?"
"Not for a few hours," I say, pushing my remaining arm through the shirt's sleeve. "That okay?"
She hums. "Totally, I can't stay much longer than that anyway. So what was that game you were talking about Sunday?"
I set two bean bags in front of my TV. "Grave Punchers! I still can't believe you have never heard of it. It's only been rated the number one videogame for five years straight. Pick a number one through five."
"My parents don't let me play videogames. And… three?"
I push the corresponding disc into the system, plopping into the bean bag closest to the window. She sits next to me and picks a controller off the floor.
"That's wonk. I'd die without videogames." The game loads, Grave Puncher 3: Live & Left Punch flashes on the screen.
"Quick! Tell me how this works!" Theresa exclaims, scrutinizing the controller's buttons.
"The keypad lets you move and the circle on the right is for punching graves. The other circle buttons do special moves. Whoever destroys the most graves before the timer stops, wins."
"Got it. Why are the tombs in space though?"
"Shhh, just roll with it." I have to admit it's a good question.
1
2
3
PUNCH!
We play for what must be an hour or more before Theresa dramatically flops onto the floor.
"I can't take it anymore! My brain feels like fried… something. Something so fried that it would turn into honking dust if you touched it."
"Oh come one, we haven't even hit level 40 yet." I smile. The gaming life is not for everyone; only those of determination and strong willpower can master the art of sitting for hours on end, punching every last grave.
"Ugh. I think my thumbs are cramping up."
"Ready for a break? There's soda in the fridge if you want some," I offer, taking our controllers and setting them near the console.
"Sure."
"Be right back." The fridge is down the hallway and to the right. "Dr. Pepper, Cream Soda or Mt. Dew?"
"Cream Soda," she calls back. Taking out one Cream Soda and a Dr. Pepper, I shut the fridge door with my foot.
"Catch."
Theresa catches the can easily. "Your soda selection is really random by the way." The cans let out a hiss as they're opened.
"Not really. My favorite is Dr. Pepper, Mom likes Cream Soda, and Howard is a Mt. Dew guy." Howard comes over so often that he's practically family. Mom buys a lot of food specifically for him.
"You and Howard are really close aren't you?" She asks. We sit on the small, blue couch by my bedroom door.
"Yup, been friends for as long as I can remember."
"Would you be hurt and angry if he betrayed you in some way? But would you forgive him later?" She twangs the can tab with a fingernail.
I think about it. "He isn't perfect; we have arguments about stuff often, but it never gets in the way of our friendship. Why do you ask?"
"To be honest, I didn't come here just for Grave Punchers. I need someone to talk to." She looks at me hopefully. "I usually talk with Debbie, but she wasn't there when it happened. And Juggo and Dave… You see my problem right?"
I really don't, but I nod anyway. All this beating around the bush is making me nervous.
"Anyway, haven't you noticed that Julian still hasn't shown up for school? It's been almost a week. I was pretty mad at him for some time, but now I'm worried."
"Huh. Yeah, I guess he hasn't." I remembered to look for him last Friday, not so much this week.
"Julian and I have known each other since we were four. There was something wrong with him that week, he was acting strange," she continues. "He was so obsessed over the monsters and the Ninja and revenge. He's never wanted to hurt anyone before. Jules is friendly, people just have a hard time accepting him."
I never knew they were so close. I'm not jealous. I'm really not.
Theresa continues. "I've forgiven him… I just want to make sure he's okay. Somehow, he got caught up in all the weird stuff happening at the school. The Ninja came over and talked to our class today. It made me think: he was fighting a robot. I wouldn't be surprised if Julian actually could do magic, but robots? Julian wasn't alone in this plot. That's why I need to talk to the Ninja, again. He has to know what's going on and maybe what happened to Julian."
"But the robots started after Julian was gone and no students have turned since." I straighten my back, alarmed.
"I know, I'm grasping at straws, but the two are connected. I can feel it. Debbie says I could make a great reporter someday," she adds.
"Wait, you talked to Kang about this?" Soda finished, we set the empty cans on the floor.
"Indirectly. I only asked if she was able to interview the Ninja. I didn't want her investigating too much into Thursday; I think 'destruction of property' could get onto our permanent records."
"Was she? Able to interview him, I mean." I question, though I already know the answer.
"Not a word. That's why I need to talk to you. It's a shot in the dark, but when you ran into the cafeteria Friday, did you see or hear anything that could be useful?" We make eye contact, her hand resting over mine. "Anything at all?"
I consider her request for a moment. Even I do not know where Julian is. However, I might be able to assuage her fears.
"Maybe. After he saved me from being hit by a McSnackable, he gave me a way to contact him in the future."
"Really? How?!" Theresa grips my wrist.
"Um, it's a secret, but I think I can arrange a meeting." Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the Nomicon flashing.
"You'd really do that for me?"
"Of course."
"Thank you!"
Time seems to skip; one moment we're talking, the next, her lips are touching mine. It only lasts for a few seconds and goes no further than that.
It's my first kiss.
"Sorry, I got a little carried away…" Her cheeks are pink and I'm sure mine match.
"Don't be." The boldness of my words surprise myself. What was I saying just a few hours before?
Apparently impatient, Nomi sends some 'words of wisdom' (note my sarcasm) via the doodles instead of waiting for me to be sucked into the book.
When a ninja chooses a course of action, he must prepare to accept the consequences.
How honking fantastic.
"Well, thank you for letting me come over and helping me. Next time, you'll have to come to my house." She stands.
"Does this mean you're leaving?"
"Yeah, my mom wanted me to be home in time for dinner," Theresa elaborated with a hint of unhappiness.
"Want me to walk you home?"
"Sure."
This doesn't even qualify as romance im so sorry as an ace who's never dated I'm the least qualified to be writing this. I keep trying to make romantic scenarios but they end up as plot material.
And thanks for not getting mad about my sporadic updates