I Dreamed a Dream (of banana pancakes) - A Dragon Age Inquistion Fan Fiction by Foxfire79 (Cullen/Inquisitor)
Disclaimer: I don't work for Bioware, nor have I ever been involved with the creation of any of the characters within the Dragon Age universe. I'm just playing with them (as we were meant to). The only original characters are the ones I created in-game, and have brought over to the fanfic universe: Ceridwen Cousland, my human female rogue Grey Warden from DA:O, Rhiannon Hawke, my female rogue from DAII, and most importantly Lilah Trevelyan, my human female rogue Inquisitor who is currently breaking heads and taking names while tearing around Thedas. Apparently I like being a rogue, human and female. Who knew?
So, here we are then, eh? The end. Wow. I'd like to thank everyone who's persevered and read all the way from chapter one, all the followers and favouriters, and of course the lovely ones who have left me reviews all the way through! 'Guest', VeggieGamerGirl, wildx22, N1GHTINGAL3, Lvl34potato, procon, Elystaa, Rae, Dumbleduck, whrr .trudy, CakeBacon, lecheekymouse and cdowns97, your reviews truly made my day and I'm glad you guys liked my story enough to let me know!
Lilah and Cullen's courtship will be continued in my next story 'Running The Gauntlet', which is currently in a super rough draft phase. Hopefully I'll get the first chapter out in the next week or so before I have to go back to work. I know, right! Last time I said that I disappeared for two months! Sorry in advance!
I've set up a twitter account under the handle ' Foxfire79writes' if anyone wants to find out where I am, what I'm up to and where the heck the chapters are. All are welcome to follow :-)
Previously...
"Ummm... Hello?"
She wriggled beneath him, not in a sultry manner, but the sensation still tantalised him, bringing back memories of the previous night, when she'd pulled him down into her bed to continue kissing him. He mustn't think about that right now, he mustn't! She'd feel it if he started to respond, his hips were once more aligned with hers. He realised he'd been studying her face for a few seconds without speaking, but he didn't really know what to say. 'How have you been today?' 'What do you remember from last night?' 'Why did you just fall through my roof?' She arched her neck and sighed, and he felt his eyes drawn to her lovely pale throat. Maker, he just wanted to kiss her again so badly... She smiled up at him again softly, possibly recognising the desirous look in his eyes.
"Cullen... we need to talk."
Now...
He didn't release his grip. She wanted to talk to him. Good. They could get all of this out in the open. But where should they start? Lilah rolled her wrists slightly, her eyebrows knitting a little in discomfort. He was still holding her down, rather tightly at that, but he still wasn't sure if this was real. She'd come in through his roof for goodness' sake!
"What were you doing on my roof?"
It was the only thing he could think to ask. He knew it was an inane question, but he was still confused and clouded with sleep. Lilah sighed, looking up at him. Maker, her eyes were just lovely...
"Are you aware that all of your doors are magically sealed. You have three doors and not a one of them was open. That's just rude. Anyone would think you had some sort of reason to be locked up in here all day. Avoiding people."
She knew. She bloody knew he'd been avoiding her on purpose. And now she was making a joke out of it. He pressed her arms down harder above her head and she winced, looking up at him in confusion.
"Are you her, or are you a demon wearing her guise? Answer me?!"
He almost growled the question at her, and she closed her eyes in resignation.
"What's that thing that Templars do to demons and Mages? Smiting, right? Why don't you just smite me then, would that prove I'm not a demon?"
He raised an eyebrow, still looking down at her.
"You want me to smite you?"
She opened her eyes, nodding her head.
"Yes, if that will convince you it's actually me here and not some random Mage or demon wearing my face... Which ewww, by the way."
He actually considered it for moment before shaking his head.
"I'd rather not... You've had a hard few days already, I don't want to add a full energy blast on top of that. It shouldn't really affect you as a rogue anyway, but still..."
She looked up at him warmly, and he had to physically stop himself from lowering his mouth to hers before she spoke.
"You really do worry about me, don't you?"
He could feel his own lips twitching up into a small smile.
"Of course I do. You're..."
He'd almost said 'important to me'. Maker's Breath. She was looking up at him expectantly, awaiting his answer.
"I'm... what?"
He loosened his grasp on her wrists and she sat up, but he was still straddling her hips, holding her legs down. They were practically face to face, in his bed no less.
"The Inquisitor...?"
He finished weakly. She sighed, running her hands over her wrists which were turning slightly red. He had been holding her down quite tightly. He shuffled off her legs and she mumbled a soft 'Thank you' as she brusquely rubbed the feeling back into her thighs. He started pacing around the small floor area of his bedroom, occasionally glancing up at her as she sat on his bed, taking in her surroundings.
"I am, aren't I? The Inquisitor, I mean. Which means you probably should have brought the fact that you had a whopping great hole in your roof to me so I could get it fixed for you."
He found his hand rubbing the back of his neck, as he chuckled, looking up at the new damage to his roof.
"The hole wasn't that big. Until a few minutes ago..."
Lilah stood up, placing her hands on her hips and glaring at him, her right eyebrow raised.
"Are you saying I'm fat?"
Cullen's hands dropped to his sides as he tried to think of something to say to redeem himself.
"It's... I... No! If you were fat I wouldn't have been able to lift you so... easily..."
Lilah crossed her arms, an exultant grin gracing her features.
"And when exactly did you lift me, Cullen?"
His head hung forward as a blush began to cross his face.
"Last night...?"
He felt a light touch on his arm and looked up. She was blushing almost as hard as he was. Maker, she was so beautiful...
"Was that an answer or a question?"
He locked eyes with her, placing his hand over hers atop his arm.
"How much of last night do you remember, Inquisitor?"
Her face twisted in annoyance at his utterance of her title.
"I think we've moved on from using formal titles at this point, haven't we Cullen?"
She certainly seemed to have stopped referring to him as 'Ser' or 'Commander'. If he stopped using her honorific title though, he'd start remembering their activities from the previous evening again. He sighed, rubbing his free hand over his eyes.
"Very well, My Lady."
She sighed and continued studying his face. Cullen wasn't entirely sure why she was staring at him so candidly. Was she hoping he'd give away some clue as to what had occurred between them?
"As to your question... I remember it all. I remember everything that transpired between us last night. And I feel I need to apologise for my absolutely terrible behaviour towards you. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or... force myself upon you."
His eyes widened at that. He grasped both of her hands, turning to face her properly.
"You think YOU forced yourself upon ME?"
Lilah glanced away from him, her gaze lowering to the floor.
"How else could you explain what happened? I... with you... against the wall... and the kissing... and I MADE you take your shirt off! Maker's Balls, how can you even look at me?!"
Her voice actually broke into a panicked squeak when she mentioned his shirt. Cullen reached his left hand up towards her cheek to gently pull her back to face him, chuckling softly.
"I'd like to point out that I kissed you first, My Lady. And technically, I don't think you could physically force me to do anything I wasn't willing to do in the first place. You have no need to apologise."
She slipped from his grasp and started pacing about the floor, wringing her hands.
"But I do! I was throwing myself at you the entire evening. Literally, when I fell off that wall. I've been thinking about it all day and I honestly have no idea what came over me. I don't usually act like that, I need you to know that!"
Cullen sat back down on the edge of his bed, watching her pace. The poor woman was an emotional wreck. She'd had all day to stew about what had happened, just as he had, and she'd clearly reached the decision that it had all been her fault. She had been overly forward with him, but he'd known that had probably been the Harlot's Blush flower within the third sleeping draught Solas had given her. She probably didn't even know about that part, unless Solas had passed that information on to her as well. Lilah suddenly stopped pacing, standing in front of him.
"One moment: Did you just say I wouldn't be able to physically force you to do anything you didn't want to do?"
Cullen found his left hand unconsciously reaching around to rub the back of his neck, and he could feel himself beginning to blush again.
"Yes I did. Say that, I mean. What of it?"
She looked at him questioningly, a deep blush still staining her own features.
"Does that mean that you... wanted to? Kiss me, I mean?"
He looked up at her, hand still rubbing his neck, then looked away just as quickly.
"How could I not? All night, you'd been throwing me glances, touching me, flattering me. I'd seen you chatting like that with your Inner Circle, but this was the first time you'd only had eyes for me. It was like a dream..."
Lilah giggled at this, and Cullen stopped. Perhaps comparing it to a dream when she'd thought she'd been dreaming the whole thing had been a bad example. He sighed, rubbing his eyes wearily.
"Bad example. Sorry Li... My Lady. But yes, at the end of the evening, I did want to kiss you. I just... I wanted to make you feel a little happier I suppose. You'd just told me about your brothers' dying, and your parents... intentions for your future. I wanted you to know that someone... That I... wanted you. As you are. But I realised that it wasn't my place to... defile you in such a blatant manner. And for that I must beg YOUR forgiveness, My Lady."
Lilah's eyes had been widening the entire time he'd been speaking. She hesitantly reached out a hand towards him and grasped his shoulder as he sat on the mattress, staring down at the floor.
"You didn't defile me in any way, Cullen. If anything, I wanted to go even further, but you managed to stay in control. I guess we're both to blame. Though I don't see why we have to blame anyone, really... It was just a kiss after all..."
Cullen looked up at her. Her blush had finally faded to a faint pink, but the colour seemed to make her all the prettier. He wanted to reach up and push her slightly mussed hair back behind her ears, the way he knew she liked to wear it. She was happily absolving both of them for the blame of last nights events. At least he didn't have to feel guilty about it anymore... But he still did.
"It wasn't just a kiss, Lilah. Not to me."
Her blush came back in full force. He wondered why, then realised he'd just called her by her name, but it was too late to go back and correct himself now. He grasped both of her hands, forcing her to look back at him as he gazed earnestly into her eyes.
"What do you mean, Cullen? Until last night, we'd barely even had a proper conversation, let alone been alone together for any amount of time. How could you possibly be harbouring any stronger feelings for me? I like you, I really do, and I enjoyed everything we did last night, but... I'm confused."
She sat down on the mattress beside him and sighed, still holding his hands.
"I'm confused too, you know. You can't hold the monopoly on confusion, not today. Firstly, I don't think both of us have all of the facts regarding what went on last night, so it's time for some information sharing and strategising."
Lilah giggled at his clinical way of speaking, and raised one hand to her forehead in salute.
"Yes Ser, Commander Ser!"
Cullen looked at her startled, then chuckled himself.
"You're surprisingly good at that."
Lilah sighed, and moved her hands into her lap, looking down at her fingers which were now nervously tapping on her thighs.
"My father was a medic in the military, before he retired. I'd often visit him at the barracks when I was a child and hear him ordering bed rest and light duties to the injured. They'd always answer with a 'Yes Ser!' and I thought it made him seem like the most important man in the room. He was, of course, keeping all those ruffians in check. Still, I do miss the old days... Listen to me, reminiscing like an old lady! Alright, information sharing... Where do we start?"
He threw her a sideways glance, and looked down at his own hands, dangling between his legs.
"Start with after you left Redcliffe."
She looked across at him in confusion.
"What? That was a week ago, surely you just meant... Oh. Solas told you, didn't he? About how I was having nightmares about everything that happened at Redcliffe and how I couldn't sleep, right?"
Cullen nodded, not daring to interrupt her dialogue.
"Well, that was the issue. I couldn't sleep properly, and when I did sleep I was having nightmares... Well, more nightmares than normal, anyway. So I asked him for a sleeping draught. Just something to help me get the rest I needed. So I drank the first one down and that first night, well... It did absolutely nothing. I was wide awake, still thinking about the torture chamber where we found Leliana, and all the Red Templars and Alexius. The next morning I felt completely washed out from not having any sleep so I kept myself going by drinking stamina potions all day. So that night, I couldn't sleep again so I got another draught from Solas, and had pretty much the same experience again. No sleep, nightmares, and stamina potions the next day just to stay on top of things. That was the day we arrived back at Skyhold. Leliana got herself to the healers, and everybody else spent their day relaxing. I, on the other hand..."
Cullen decided to speak up this time.
"Didn't?"
Lilah chuckled and threw him another sideways glance, a small smile playing across her lips.
"Picking up on the pattern, are you? No, I didn't. I trained in the yard for a few hours, drinking down stamina potions all the while, then sought out Solas before heading to my chambers to sleep, or try to at least. Keeping in mind I hadn't actually stopped to eat much of anything this entire time either. I maybe had a couple of snacks over the whole three days. So I asked him if he had anything stronger because the other two potions had done nothing, and he hands me this purple phial, tells me to drink it right there in front of him, then sends me off to bed. I was sure that one would work, I could feel it fizzing through me as I walked, but still... Nothing. The next day, well, technically yesterday, was the day of the meeting where Cassandra almost punched me because she was bored, and then I accosted you while I thought I was dreaming the whole thing. Do I need to get into the particulars of everything I remember us doing, or will that wait until later?"
Cullen turned so he was facing her, one leg up on the bed. She turned toward him also, mirroring his position.
"Why did you think you were dreaming the whole thing?"
Her blush returned again, not as rampant as it had been before, but still very visible.
"It's just... you were being so nice to me. And you weren't wearing your armour. I've never seen you out of your armour before, it's no wonder I thought I was dreaming! When a woman dreams about the man she... Errr... I mean, when a person dreams about someone they... Ummm..."
Cullen reached out and rested his hand on her upper arm, silencing her.
"It's alright, Lilah. I've dreamt about you as well."
Lilah raised her face to look at him for a moment, then looked away again, quickly.
"Oh my... Hopefully your dreams don't involve as much crafting and wall climbing as mine do..."
Cullen barked out a laugh, sliding his hand down her arm so it rested at her elbow.
"No, they definitely do not involve crafting..."
He could feel his gaze becoming more heated as he realised the situation they were in. He had the Inquisitor, Lilah, in his chambers, on his bed, and they seemed to be getting along with no problem. But she'd already called him out on having feelings that were deeper than her own. Perhaps they just needed to talk to each other a little more, and then maybe she might realise she could eventually feel the same way about him? He cleared his throat, and decided to ask her about the third sleeping draught.
"So, did Solas tell you what made the third sleeping draught a more powerful concoction?"
Lilah shook her head, looking rather worried.
"No, why? Did he tell you?"
Cullen nodded, and stretched his neck out a little before he continued speaking. He'd noticed Lilah watching him as he'd been stretching, and couldn't help but smile a little to himself. She was definitely still interested in him. Maker be Praised.
"It had a little added ingredient by the name of Harlot's Blush. Heard of it?"
Lilah's eyes had widened at the name of the plant, and her nervous hands turned into fists.
"Why in the Bloody Void did he give me something laced with Harlot's Blush?! Doesn't he know what that flower does to people? Oh Balls, no wonder I was all over you! No offence..."
Cullen stifled a laugh at her rather overly exuberant reaction.
"None taken. You do swear rather a lot, don't you? I hadn't really noticed before, not being around you all the time."
Lilah had stood up and started pacing again after he'd told her about the flower, and she continued to do so even as she answered him.
"What? Yes... Sorry. My brothers' were rather a bad influence on me, I'm afraid. That's what you get when you have three older male siblings as your only role models. I'll try to reign it in if you find it offensive."
Cullen smiled, waving her off.
"I have no issue with it. As for you 'being all over me'... I had no issue with that, either. The reason I didn't take our actions any further last night was because I knew about the Harlot's Blush and the effects it may have been having on you. Which is also why I didn't really trust that your... forward behaviour towards me was all under your control."
Cullen stood up, moving to stand in front of Lilah, once more grasping her hands and forcing her to stop pacing.
"I would never force myself upon you, My Lady. The fact that I let it go as far as it did last night shames me to no end. I would completely understand if you never wanted to speak to me again. I've already penned a letter of resignation..."
He trailed off when he noticed the tears in her eyes as she looked up at him, smiling softly.
"You are a good man, Commander Cullen. How could I deprive the Inquisition of someone such as yourself. So, no, you're not going to resign. I won't allow it. Inquisitor's orders."
He couldn't stop the relieved look from spreading over his features.
"Thank the Maker! I hadn't really thought much further than 'Hand in letter of resignation, then leave'. I really would have been at a loss as to what to do with myself."
Lilah smiled up at him, mischievously.
"I don't know, I think you could have had a good career as a handsome highwayman, you know, robbing the rich to give to the poor, rescuing poor innocent girls from defilement. Something like my brother Joshua used to do."
Cullen cocked his head to the side and peered down at her, surprised.
"One of your brothers was a highwayman?"
Lilah nodded, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
"Of sorts. On paper he was a mercenary for hire, but in his spare time... Have you heard of 'The Hood'?"
Cullen nodded.
"Everybody's heard of 'The Hood'. Are you saying that your brother was 'The Hood'?"
Lilah sighed, gazing down at their still clasped hands, but making no move to let go. He took this as a good sign.
"My brother was this incarnation of 'The Hood', yes. It's been many men, and women, over the years. One person takes the name for a few years, then passes it onto another when they want out. Joshua had been doing it for going on five years, and thoroughly enjoying himself. Then, Joshua was much more of a free spirit than Deacon and Marcus. They were both Templars, you know. But enough about my family. I believe we were still discussing last night. So tell me, Cullen, how did you come to find me in the Map room?"
Cullen tugged her hands gently and they both sat down on the edge of the bed again, so he could start his recount of the evening.
"I was walking down to dinner after the meeting last night when Solas approached me, asking me to check in on you and make sure you were alright. He explained that you'd had an overabundance of sleeping draughts over the few days prior and he was worried about you, but he said you weren't in the mood to speak to him."
Lilah snorted out a laugh at that.
"That would have been after I'd yelled at him and slapped him, I suppose."
Cullen smiled and gave her fingers a light squeeze. She still hadn't pulled away.
"Yes, that would probably do it. So I ate dinner alone..."
She looked at him a little sadly.
"If you'd come back to the Map room and asked me, I'd have come down and eaten with you. Food always tastes better when it's eaten with someone else, don't you think?"
Cullen looked her steadily in the eye before answering.
"I think it depends on the someone you're eating with."
Lilah blushed once more and looked down. He was beginning to forget what she looked like without a pink stain to her cheeks.
"Where was I? Oh yes, I ate dinner, went to the library for a while..."
Lialh grabbed his arm, and he stopped speaking.
"When you were there, was there anyone suspicious skulking about? Apparently a few copies of Varric's 'The Eye in Inquisition' were burned in the library's fire last night."
Whoops. Cullen hadn't thought he'd have to explain his way around that. He sighed and rolled his eyes sky-wards.
"Oh. That. That was me. Sorry. I just... Have you read how Varric portrays me? And I was barely mentioned in the last three issues. I mean, Coulton, not me."
Lilah looked at him, and burst into giggles.
"You mean to say you burned Varric's books because you were annoyed at how your character was portrayed? My word, Cullen! He was livid! He can never find out it was you, or he'll hound you until the day you die!"
Cullen shrugged, a grin playing across his lips.
"I won't tell him if you won't. Anyway, back to the events of last night. After I left the library I came back to my chambers to go to sleep, then I remembered Solas asked me to look in on you. So I went back down to your chambers, where you most definitely were not, then I retraced my steps back to the Map room, and there you were. Where I believe you caught me looking you over while you were stretching, then asked me for a kiss. Does that sound right to you?"
Yes, she was red again. He decided he very much liked being the cause of her blush.
"I... Yes, I do remember saying that. Maker's Breath, what must you think of me?"
Cullen placed both of his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eye once more.
"I believe that you were very tired. I believe that you were under the influence of a very powerful hallucinogen and aphrodisiac. I believe that the deaths of your brothers, your new familial responsibilities and all the hard work you've been putting into the Inquisition came crashing down on you and you needed some kind of... release."
Lilah licked her lips, and Cullen felt his eyes being drawn back down to her lips. She was so close...
"You're skipping ahead, Cullen. What happened after you found me in the Map room."
He was still staring at her mouth, Maker take him.
"I made you banana pancakes for your supper."
"And then?"
"We went to the Map room to get Cassandra's dagger. Then the Undercroft to do some crafting..."
The moonlight pouring through the now huge hole in his roof was coating her already pale skin in a silvery glow. She looked magnificent. He was amazed he could still form sentences.
"What then?"
"You wanted to look for dragons, so you tried to climb my tower. It didn't end well."
Had she been standing that closely to him earlier? His hand moved of it's own accord, pushing that loose strand of hair back behind her ear, and she seemed to lean into his touch, resting her cheek against his palm.
"What happened next?"
"You know what happened next."
Maker, she was so lovely. Her eyes were closed, and that smile... it was so inviting.
"I want you to say it."
"I carried you up to your bed chamber..."
"And..."
"And you got ready for bed..."
"Did you watch me? Getting changed."
Cullen could feel his cheeks growing red again.
"I didn't mean to... There was a mirror when I turned around. I closed my eyes. I didn't see everything, I swear..."
Lilah moved her right hand to brush his cheek, smiling all the while still blushing.
"It's alright, Cullen. I can forgive you a little weakness. Then what happened?"
He stumbled over his words. Her hand on his face felt too much like what had happened the previous night, when there had been no reservations between the two of them. Did she really want him to continue?
"Then we talked for a while..."
"And after that?"
Her voice had fallen away into a whisper. She knew exactly what had happened after that.
"I kissed you. I picked you up in my arms and pushed you against the wall and kissed you so hard I saw stars. I touched as much of your body as I dared to, knowing that you were most likely affected by the potions, but Maker! Your mouth was so soft, and your skin felt like silk, and it took every single ounce of strength for me to not drop my trousers and take you completely. The feeling of you rubbing against me was almost to much to bear, but then I felt you..."
Her hands were now clutching his upper arms, her pupils dilating with the memories of it.
"I found my release."
He couldn't tear his gaze away from her.
"You did. And then I put you to bed, and you refused to let me go. You kissed me until you fell asleep."
"And then you left?"
It was more of a question then a statement, so he answered it.
"Yes. If I hadn't left then... I don't think I would have trusted myself to behave the rest of the night. I've never had so much trouble leaving a room before."
She licked her lips again, and he couldn't help but lick his own. Sweet Maker, what she did to him...
"Would you do it again? If you knew that I hadn't been taking any sleeping potions, that I was perfectly fine, and welcomed the advances... Would you kiss me again? Would you touch me like you did last night, call me by my name, and hold me until it feels like we're the only two people in this world?"
Was she truly asking him?
"In a heartbeat."
She gazed up at him, the silvered moonlight reflecting in her deep green eyes, and his knees nearly buckled.
"Cullen, kiss me..."
She didn't have to ask him twice. His lips found hers and he kissed her like a thirsty man who'd just found a crisp mountain spring. His tongue slipped into her mouth with ease, after the practice they'd had the previous evening. She moaned into his mouth as he plundered her, while he guided her backwards to lay on his bed. He settled himself between her legs, her knees rising on either side of his body to hold him more closely to her, as he moved away from her lips and began kissing down the side of her throat. He remembered she'd enjoyed that previously, and as his breath tickled her neck he felt her breathing quicken. He could feel her short fingernails trailing over the outside of his shirt, and for a moment he considered removing it, but he couldn't pull away from her soft, soft skin. She sighed as he replaced his lips with his tongue, licking a trail from her neck to her ear, where he gave her earlobe a light nip with his teeth. She shuddered beneath his touch, moaning his name, and he found himself starting to grow hard just from that one small utterance. Then... His stomach growled. Loudly.
"Balls!"
Lilah looked up at him in mock shock, then started grinning.
"Oh dear! Have my bad habits started to rub off on you already?"
Cullen dropped his head to her chest and puffed out a loud sigh, then rolled onto his back so he was laying beside her.
"There's always something, isn't there?"
Lilah sat up suddenly, an anxious look on her face.
"My backpack! Where's my backpack?"
She looked through the messed up sheets where she'd landed on the bed earlier, but there didn't seem to be a backpack hidden amongst them. Cullen looked up once more at the broken beams hanging from his ceiling, then pointed to one that seemed to have a smallish cloth object hanging from it. Though why she was so suddenly interested in her backpack was an utter mystery to him.
"Is that it?"
She stood up on the bed and hooked one hand through the tangled strap, tugging the bag down into her arms, then checked the contents before throwing him a wide grin.
"Yes it is! I have a surprise for you. Come downstairs... or down ladder... whatever you call it. We'll sit at your desk."
Cullen sat up with a start. His desk... where those three letters were sitting. He sighed in resignation. She may as well read them, then at least she'd know what he'd been up to all day. He decided to change his shirt before following her down, and swiped his wet fingers through his hair a few times to try and tame his hair back into submission. The new shirt was a deep royal blue, his housewarming gift from Josephine. He hadn't actually worn it before. It looked rather good on him. Not that he cared, of course. He half slid down the ladder to find Lilah sitting on the edge of his desk, his resignation letter in hand.
"You won't be needing this one anymore."
She balled it up and hurled it across the room to land on the floor next to the other crumpled paper balls.
"The travelling letter, now that one actually sounds kind of fun. We might keep that one. But this third one..."
She pursed her lips while reading it, then placed it neatly on the desk.
"I'm intrigued more than anything. Why did you write it?"
Cullen sighed, then sat down in his desk chair.
"I... It was a letter of intent, I suppose. If we wanted to pursue a relationship, I'd have to let the other advisors and Cassandra know. You're too important to the Inquisition for just one man to be taking up all of your time. It was a fantasy, nothing else. You may as well throw that one away too."
Lilah clutched it tighter, moving it away from his grasp.
"Don't you dare. I like it. In fact, I think you should frame it, keep it somewhere we can see it. I'll even endorse it for you."
She picked up his quill and quickly scratched something across the bottom of the page before whipping the paper away from him to keep it safe. The ink had to dry still as well. She placed it on his window ledge and threw him a stern look.
"Don't look at it until after I leave."
He sighed again, and threw his hands up in front of him. She was the boss, after all. He took a closer look at his desk, wondering why she'd moved the letters in the first placed, and stopped. On the table in front of him was a small stack of banana pancakes, and a flask of milk.
"I figured you probably hadn't eaten all day, so I made you a snack. With my own hands, mind you. I burned a few of them, and some of them were shaped rather oddly, but these are the best of the bunch. All for you. I hope they're alright."
Cullen grabbed one of the pancakes and took a bite. They were delicious. She'd made them for him, only for him. She was looking at him with such a hopeful look, wondering if he'd enjoyed it.
"They're perfect. This is... perfect. Thank you."
Lilah sighed happily, and crossed her legs.
"So, now I know that you've been moping, and blaming yourself and writing odd letters all day, let me tell you about what happened to me."
Cullen happily munched away on his midnight snack as Lilah told him all about the parade of people bringing evidence of their capers to the Main hall, and chuckling when she did the voices of the complainants.
"So then Harritt says something like 'You've got talent, Herald. Maybe after all this Inquisition business is finished I'll train you up to be a 'smith'. So that could be my new profession after this - what do you think?"
Cullen wiped the crumbs from his face and drank the rest of the milk down in one gulp.
"Good plan. You could live out the rest of your days quietly, 'smithing for a village somewhere in the Hinterlands."
Lilah snorted.
"I'd have to fake my own death first, remember. Familial responsibilities impending, brace for impact."
Cullen snorted out a laugh too, looking at her sitting on his desk. She truly was amazing. She turned and looked at him seriously for a moment.
"It doesn't matter to me, you know. My family's titles and land and all that business. It's just something I have to do. I could only hope that you'd... that whoever I end up with, I mean... would support my decisions in dealing with it all when I eventually have to. It's just as much a part of my life as the Anchor is. I might not necessarily like it, but I'm stuck with it."
Cullen nodded, his expression softening. She was starting to give herself away now.
"I understand."
She threw him a relieved smile.
"Oh, good! You know... I think I like this side of you, Cullen."
Cullen looked at her again, slightly bemused.
"Which side would that be?"
She punched him lightly on the arm, smiling all the while.
"The relaxed you. I could see myself spending more time with you, if we could be like this... Not thinking about Corypheus, or the Red Templars, or the Breach... Fiona said something to me earlier today, and I wasn't quite sure what she meant until now. 'Find him and tell him. He'll understand'. I'm assuming that the 'Him' in this case is you and the telling is about my feelings. I know yours, you've already put them into writing. I like you, Cullen. A lot. I'm not in love with you though, not yet, but I think I could grow into it, given time. This war, it's making everything speed up. I don't want to rush into a physical relationship while neglecting everything else. Even if we did start straight into the physical aspect of this, and it would be... absolutely mind-blowing, I wouldn't want that to be the only thing we have. A lot of things were brought to my attention today. I need to mull them over before we..."
Cullen looked up at her, sitting on his desk, so deep in thought. She liked him, and it could grow into more. He was happy with that, for the time being. He slipped the travelling letter into his desk drawer. He wouldn't be needing that one for the immediate future either. She still hadn't finished her sentence. He decided to help her out.
"Consummate?"
Lilah pulled a face.
"Ewww, really?"
"Sleep together?"
"Well, technically we could sleep together, just as long as we didn't, you know..."
"Shag?"
"Stop it!"
"Make Love?"
"Actually, I do like the sound of that one... But no, not yet."
"Well then, I suppose a fu..."
"Out of the question. Now stop."
Cullen puffed out a breath, grinning all the while. Lilah was smiling as well. He loved her smiling face the most. Maker's Breath, he was completely gone over this woman. There was no turning back.
"You know, I didn't even know your full name until today. I read it on one of those letters. Up until now, I didn't even know if Cullen was your first or last name. Cullen Stanton Rutherford. I rather like it."
He stood up, leaning his hands on either side of her thighs as he gazed down at her.
"Well, now you know my name in its entirety, do you have an middle names I should know about?"
Lilah laughed, leaning closer to his ear to whisper to him.
"You don't even know my proper first name."
Cullen's right eyebrow twitched upward. This was news! He wondered if Leliana knew it.
"Well then, are you going to enlighten me. Just so I know the correct name to call out while we're in the throes of passion."
The blush had returned again. Maker...
"Fine, if you must know, for the throes of passions' sake. My full name is Delilah Temperance Trevelyan. But nobody calls me Delilah. Except when they're cross with me."
He leaned in more closely and whispered in her ear.
"Delilah Temperance Trevelyan. It's a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance."
She shivered ever so slightly beneath his breath and he took this opportunity to steal her lips in another kiss, this time a gentle one. She pulled back slightly, running her tongue over her lips.
"It's late... I should really go. I only came by to see how you were and to... fact check a little. I wasn't expecting all of this to happen. It's good that it did, though. I'm glad we've decided to... Be together. But I do have a busy few days planned, and I need to sleep."
Cullen locked eyes with her, keeping her trapped within his arms.
"Why don't you just stay here tonight? I promise I'll behave... Commander's Honour."
She gazed back up at him steadily, face serious.
"I can't promise I will though. You are such a tempting man, Cullen. Every time you touch me, my body craves more. Every time our lips meet, I never want to stop kissing you. It's only been a handful of kisses but I'm already addicted to you."
Cullen studied her face. He could tell she was serious. How could he have such an effect on her? True, he felt that way about her kisses and touches, and when she'd moaned his name earlier he'd almost come undone. But to think he had the same effect on her... Maker.
"We'll just have to really try. I'm not opening these doors, they're the only thing stopping all of that outside nonsense from getting in here right now. Just let me spend this one night with you, just sleeping beside you. That's all I ask."
Lilah sighed, and Cullen could tell that he'd won. Small victories were still victories in his book.
"Alright. But no touching, and we'll keep our smalls on."
"I don't have a problem with that. You go on ahead, I'll put these candles out first."
Cullen set about extinguishing the candles on his desk, when he remembered the third letter and Lilah scribbling something on it. He picked it up off the windowsill and held it closer to the last lit candle to see what she'd written, and he couldn't stop the grin that appeared on his face... 'I Approve - DTT'. She approved indeed. He blew out the candle and slipped quietly back up the ladder to his bedroom where Lilah awaited him, already snuggled under the pile of blankets. He slipped the shirt off over his head, and shucked the trousers, quite pleased to hear a muffled 'Sweet Maker!' drift out from under the blankets. She'd clearly been watching, and had liked what she'd seen. He lifted one corner of the blanket and slid under, careful not to try and steal a look at Lilah in her underclothes. He had promised after all.
"Cullen?"
He rolled over and found her looking at him, the blanket wrapped firmly around her.
"What is it? I thought you were tired?"
She blinked those lovely eyes at him, and he couldn't help but melt. There were only a few inches of space between them, he could so easily just grab her and pull her over him... No. He'd promised.
"What was your favourite part of our little escapade last night? I think mine was when you were carrying me like a princess up to my quarters."
He didn't even have to think about his answer.
"My favourite part was when you took hold of my hand, like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. Just walking beside you, holding your hand. I'd happily do that forever."
Her eyes were slipping shut, but she was desperately trying to stay awake.
"I really liked the kissing too."
Cullen reached out, smoothing her now loose hair back behind her ear.
"So did I."
"And... the other thing..."
The other...? Oh, the OTHER thing.
"Oh yes, that too..."
"It's not fair, you know, that you didn't... finish. I guess that means I owe you one."
And with that, she fell asleep. Maker's Breath! How was he supposed to sleep NOW? He looked across at her, wondering how he'd managed to catch the attention of such an alluring creature. He studied the contours of her sleeping face until sleep at last took him as well.
He awoke a few hours later, shivering as the near dawn light filtered in through the hole in the roof. He didn't usually get this cold... Ah, there was the answer. Lilah had stolen all the blankets and cocooned herself in the middle of them, leaving him nothing with which to fend off the elements. She was sound asleep. He gently found the edge of the blanket and unfurled it, but in so doing also pulled her closer towards him. He wrapped his arms around the sleeping girl and encased them both under the warm pile of blankets. As he looked down at the alabaster angel in his arms, he couldn't help himself and placed a reverent kiss on her forehead. She shuffled in his grip a little then settled against the firm plains of his chest.
"Hmmm... Cullen... Behave yourself..."
Even in her sleep... Cullen stifled a laugh, finally warm again, and very happy that he wasn't in bed alone. He could learn to like this.
THE END
Well, there you go! It's done! (Though I might add an epilogue if the mood takes me!) Thanks again for reading everyone. Sorry it took me forever, but hey! Now it's done! And as I said before, this story will continue in 'Running The Gauntlet'. As always, read, review and enjoy! Finished, wooh!
Foxfire out!