A/N: TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide attempt.

Beca rolls over in her bed and groans. Her head is pounding from all the tears she shed last night. And her mind instantly remembers seeing Tom kiss Chloe and running home right when she saw it. It makes her stomach turn. She feels completely and utterly worthless. Even Chloe is over her, and it's really the final straw, because Chloe was Beca's last hope. And now here she is, sobbing into her pillow at six in the morning. She can't handle this life anymore. The brunette sobs and sobs until her body gives out and she falls asleep again.

She wakes up and feels the exact same. As if nothing can make the pain of this life subside. What's the purpose of living like this? Life is supposed to be happy. But it isn't. It's the last thing from it. Beca is a privileged child who still hates the life she has been given. She just wants to be gone. Her last hope is gone. Nobody needs her.

"I don't want to be alive anymore," Beca whispers to herself as she finds herself crawling across her floor. She grasps at the bottle of Motrin hidden by her razor blades for this occasion. She dry swallows three pills and rips her notebook off of her desk with a pen. Her left hand begins her messy scrawl as she swallows another pill. "Forgive me," she prays.

I'm sorry.

"Why do you do this to me?" She screams up at her god, "You're supposed to love me! How is this my plan?"

This is nobody's fault but my own. I'm worthless. And I can't handle this life anymore.

Three more pills.

I just want to find a home. Maybe heaven is there. God forgive me.

Four more pills.

I feel so alone, and that is nobody's fault but my own. But maybe I won't be so alone when I'm with God. Hopefully I don't end up in Hell.

Six pills.

Suicide is the only option anymore. I have no more hope.

Five pills.

I'm tired of living in the darkness. This depression is the end of me.

Four more pills.

I don't love me. Nobody else does. How can I live when all I want is to be dead?

Three pills.

I just want to be able to breathe again. And living with this burden is suffocating. And I think I have run out of air.

Five pills.

Whoever finds me, I'm sorry I am a piece of shit. But this is the only escape. Nothing will solve this. I need to be fucking gone.

Her tears drip on the paper as she swallows four more pills.

I'm sorry. I love you mom and dad, even though if you knew the truth you could never love me. I love you Bellas, each and every one of you. Chloe you are my best friend and more, but I'm a coward. I'm so sorry.

Two more pills.

I just need the pain to end. I'm so sorry, this is goodbye. Much love, Beca Mitchell.

She finishes the bottle. She can feel her stomach churn and her vision edging. "God, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me," Beca whispers with the piece of paper falling to her side. She suddenly hears the door open.

Beca's life is a blur. She hears a cry of a familiar voice. She just doesn't have the energy to figure out who it is. Beca feels her shoulders being shaken and hands shoved down her throat. She can feel herself throw up all over the carpet. She hears the voice scream something about 911 and making a frantic phone call. She can hear the ambulance now. And her eyes flutter shut.

Beca Mitchell cracks her eyes open to a blinding light. Sadly not to the lights of heaven, Beca thinks. No, she opens her eyes to the bright lights of a hospital room. She feels a hand holding hers tightly. She feels angry, she couldn't even accomplish a suicide. Beca sits up, surprised to see Stacie holding her hand and whimpering as she cries with her face on the sheets.

"Stacie?" Beca's voice cracks.

"Beca!" the tall brunette shrieks and hugs Beca and manages to not pull on all the tubes plugged into the short brunette.

"Were…we-were you the one who found me?" Beca whispers.

Stacie can only nod as she has heavy tears fall down her cheeks. Beca leans forward and hugs the brunette, in apology to her. Even though she is mad that she is what stopped her from dying.

"I walked in, b-because I saw you crying and leaving the party last night. So I wanted to bring you pan-pancakes to make you feel better. And you were on the ground, with an empty pill bottle and a n-note. A fucking note," Stacie cries heavily.

"I'm sorry," Beca whispers.

"I'm sorry. I could always be there if you needed me. I'm here now. I'm your friend. I can help," the tall brunette cries.

"So what happened exactly?" Beca asks.

"I made you puke, which apparently helped some. An ambulance brought you here and they pumped your stomach. But…I'm sorry, they have to keep you on 72 hour suicide watch," Stacie sobs.

"Fuck," Beca whispers.

"Becs, I'm sorry. I'm here, it isn't much, but I'm here. I'm here." Stacie starts sobbing again, "I'm always here, and I don't want you to not be here."

"Stacie," Beca whispers.

"You need to tell me, what's going on with you. Tell me everything so I can help you, please Beca," she pleads.

And in thanks for saving her life and in pity for seeing her so sad. Beca does. She tells her everything. From start to finish. And coincidentally when she finishes telling this great new friend everything, Chloe comes running into the room with violent tears as Aubrey tries restraining the girl by her waist.

"Beca!" She cries.

"I'll leave you two to it," Stacie says through tears. She leans forward and hugs Beca tightly, and parts with a kiss on the temple.

Chloe stands in shock as she stares at Beca, in her hospital gown and IV's sticking out of her body. Beca stares at the disheveled ginger. Her hair is a mess and she has eyeliner down to her chin. She still looks beautiful.

"Come here," Beca whispers weakly as she gestures to her bed.

Chloe slowly approaches Beca and lies down in the empty space on the hospital bed, lightly over the various IV's and tubes. She cuddles into Beca's side and Beca wraps her arms around her waist as Chloe sobs into the girl's neck.

"Why? Why did you do it, Becs? I was so scared I was going to lose you." She cries into her neck.

"Is that a real question?" Beca whispers.

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't have been there. I just found out. But Beca I'm always there for you, you never need to feel the need to do this again. You are a wonderful human with a wonderful purpose and you cannot leave this earth yet," Chloe sits up and stares into Beca's teary eyes when she says this with such passion in her voice.

Beca feels a pull to lean forward, but she doesn't have the time to, because Chloe already is. All Chloe does is leave a slight kiss on the corner of Beca's mouth. It is enough for Beca to crumble at the amount of intimacy Chloe shows. She falls into Chloe and hugs her tightly as she cries softly.

They cry together without any words. It just a room full of emotion and the only noise is of their tears. It last for a while until Beca speaks again.

"Why did you kiss Tom?" Beca pulls back to ask.

"What are you talking about?" Chloe asks, genuinely confused.

"Last night," Beca says sternly. "I saw you two kiss"

Chloe's face drops, "Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"I was hoping you wouldn't see that," Chloe sits up. "I swear, he kissed me. And I pushed him off right when he did it. It felt wrong and dirty, and I did not reciprocate it one bit. I could never hurt you like that."

"Are you being for real?" Beca whispers.

"I could never lie to you," Chloe smiles.

Beca smiles back and she feels the weight lifted. Like some of the pain is gone. She feels like maybe some of this pain will be gone eventually. For the first time in forever, she feels hope. And when Chloe leans forward and presses a light peck to Beca's lips, more a mere ghosting of the lips, Beca questions if maybe she indeed did die and is now in heaven, because in that moment, it sure feels like it.

Beca is released three days later with a new set of antidepressants in hand. She holds onto Chloe's arm as she climbs into the back of Aubrey's car. Stacie smiles back from the passenger seat and squeezes Beca's knee. They take her back to Chloe and Aubrey's apartment where the rest of the Bellas wait. And the whole group gives her a large group hug, and she feels almost okay.

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but hey a quick update, so hopefully that evens the two out. I am sorry for the short chapter, this subject is just a little touchy for me and a little hard to write. Hopefully it turned out okay. See ya soon with chapter 10!