A/N: Here we go, sorry for the wait. Slight trigger warning of some homophobic slurs. Without further ado, here is the last chapter of this fanfiction.
Throughout the next eight hours, Beca sleeps like hell and pukes seven times. One of the times she didn't even make it to the communal bathroom, she just puked into her trash bin, and still drunk, she proceeded to travel to the window and dump out the regurgitated booze and Taco Bell. Beca wakes around ten or eleven or noon, she is too hungover to be able to tell. All she knows is that the sun is blinding her and Kimmy Jin is packing her bags with a scowl sent in Beca's direction as the tiny brunette starts to groan from the pain of a circus happening inside her skull. The tiny freshman sticks her head under her pillow with another groan as the memories haunt her, she made a complete ass of herself to Chloe, and the universe hates her, because her brain remembers every detail clearly.
"Oh God why?" Beca nearly gurgles to herself.
A heavy wave of nausea sweeps through her gut violently, and she is sprinting, in her world that literally feels like it is spinning, and miraculously making it to a toilet before puking for an eighth time. Beca groans and nearly crawls back to her dorm to grab her bathroom caddy. She returns to the bathroom and looks at her reflection as she hunches over a freshly cleaned sink. Her blue eyes look hollowed out due to the black bags beneath her bloodshot eyes. Brown hair is plastered all over her sweaty forehead. And to top it off, she has eye liner smudged down to her chin. Beca begins to violently brush her teeth to rid her mouth of the acidic taste, as the mint rejuvenates her mouth, she wishes she didn't almost commit suicide a few months ago, because ever since then she isn't allowed to have any pills in her room (other than her antidepressants that live in Stacie's dorm so she won't abuse them). Therefore, this raging headache can't be alleviated with some pills. Beca slouches into a shower and stands still under the stream.
She clenches her eyes shut to try and forget how she was with Chloe. It is embarrassing. She cringes when she remembers that she told Chloe that she loves her. Twice. Once over text, and once in person which almost made Chloe cry. The thought of that makes the brunette dig her nails into healed scars on her forearms as her tears mix in with the stream of the shower. She hates herself for doing that, 1) because she can't love Chloe, even though she knows she does, and 2) because she was drunk and hurt the girl. Beca tries to not think how Chloe promised she would stay with Beca, and Beca woke up a few hours later with no beautiful ginger by her side. Maybe Chloe meant it figuratively and not in a literal sense. Maybe Beca was being petty. Beca rolls her eyes at herself, which makes her head pound even more, and reminds herself to not think about Chloe like that. It just can't happen and she has to forget about it.
Once Beca rids herself of her slimy and nasty morning after binge drinking and eating Taco Bell look, she flops down onto her bed with her phone wrapped in her hand. She types out a text to Stacie, she is hesitant, because Stacie did betray her yesterday, but Stacie is a friend and Beca could really use some Tylenol.
Beca: Hey, can I swing by your dorm?
Beca waits for a decent amount of time as she listens to some Twenty One Pilots, and she doesn't object when some sappy Taylor Swift comes up on her playlist through her earbuds. She is sad, and Taylor Swift breakup songs apply to her, sue her. She feels herself drift off to sleep, and her nap feels like a short sea of black before she wakes again. She checks her phone to see no texts, it has been three hours since she texted Stacie. She clicks on the messaging app and sees that Stacie did read Beca's text, but never bothered to respond.
Beca: hey dude, I was just asking a question. I need your help.
Stacie replies almost immediately.
Stacie: what? Sorry didn't want to respond, I was afraid you may just QUIT the conversation.
Beca: Ok I get why you're mad, but come on, Aubrey was being a bitch. It was a long time coming.
Stacie: No, Becs, this isn't about Aubrey. It's about you, this is all you. You need to sort your shit out. I don't want to be mean, but you can be cruel and push everyone away. You're living your life in a way that will make you end up alone.
Beca reads the text and she assumes that she probably looks like a fish with her mouth opening and closing repeatedly. Kimmy Jin must notice, because she rolls her eyes and just leaves the room. Her roommate doesn't bother to close her door, but Beca can't really find herself to say anything, she is too busy gaping at Stacie's text. Nice, sweet Stacie, calling her out. Beca closes the app and moves to the mixing board and starts to blare music. She gets another text ten minutes later.
Stacie: what did you need my help with?
Beca: Just Tylenol, I'm hungover.
Stacie: Of course you are, that's just great. Okay, whatever.
Stacie: You just like to use people to your dispense and push them away, I don't know if it is all intentional, but you need to figure it out. I get that you have a lot of shit going on rn, but please think before you actually do something. And can you actually bother to care about us? Obviously not, you're selfish and I'm sorry that I'm attacking you. But you may want to work on yourself before u wake up one day and realize you've given up on and pushed everyone away who could possibly care.
Stacie: Have a nice Spring Break, Beca. I'm sorry.
Beca can't help but stare at her phone. She drops it into her lap like it has burned her. And Beca falls asleep many hours later with the reality and truth that Stacie revealed to her on her mind. She wakes up around five in the morning and she feels guilt. Pure guilt, and she is miserable. She decides to switch into a sports bra and shorts before taking a long run around campus. She zones out as she runs, all she can feel is her tears intermingling with her sweat as she pants out in short breaths. She gets back to her dorm shortly after six and climbs into the shower for a good hour where she really reevaluates her life.
The girl can't mix, she can't focus. She just thinks about how much she has fucked everything up in her life. She just wants to fix it, because the truth of what Stacie said really hits her.
She grabs a copy of The Breakfast Club, maybe this can be a step to fix herself. God she needs to fix things. She realizes this especially as her thumb hovers over the green call button by the contact: Chloe. She wants to call her and apologize profusely. Being without her for so long is almost like not being able to breathe. Beca smiles with nostalgia at the thought of being with Chloe though, because that is surreal and amazing, and heavenly. She thinks of her and smiles at everything amazing to the girl. Like when Chloe smiles at her with those bright blue orbs that crinkle at the sides when she smiles especially wide at a joke Beca would say. Or the passion and love in her eyes when she talks or even hears about music. Or like when Chloe would hold Beca's hand in a mess of tangled fingers and a wide smile that sends tingles up her arm. Beca even thinks of how amazing it is in the way Chloe can talk to someone else to brighten their day.
Maybe she does love her.
Her phone vibrates with Chloe's name flashing on the screen, and Beca hates how cliché she feels when her heart soars.
Chloe: Turns out the kid on the team we lost to was in high school. Bellas are back. Feel free to come back, the Bellas need you. Practice is tomorrow at the usual place and time. Hope to see you there.
Beca wants to respond, but she resists. It isn't the right time or occasion to apologize to Chloe. The text reminds her though, she needs to fix things. She needs to fix herself, because she wants happiness. And she wants these people in her life. And she needs to be less of a dick and treat them like how they should appropriately be treated. Especially Chloe.
That is how Beca finds herself in her dad's kitchen after having a door slammed in her face by Jesse. After he explains to her that she can't live a life so lonely, it only reiterates the fact that she needs to go back to the Bellas and apologize and try to get back in. She has to do one thing first, she has to come out to her dad. Because if she has learned anything in her soul searching the last few days, it is that she really thinks she loves Chloe. And she thinks she may be ready to be with her.
"So what are you going to do?" her dad asks.
"Go back to them and apologize. They're great girls, I really need them in my life and I love them to pieces. Speaking of people I need in my life and love, I need to apologize to my current love interest," Beca awkwardly trails off. If she continues along the lines of I need a girl named Chloe to forgive me and date me, she may die. Of course Beca is the worst and most awkward human ever at coming out.
"Is this about that Jesse boy I keep seeing you around campus with?" her father asks with a genuine smile.
"No," Beca grimaces. God why doesn't she just text her parents to come out like everyone else does.
"Another boy?" He smiles.
"Uh, no, not a boy." Beca sheepishly mumbles. "A girl, actually."
"Beca, you better not be hinting at what I think you're hinting at. Because if I'm hearing you correctly, you sound like you have romantic feelings and thoughts for a girl. And if that is correct, you can safely assume that neither your mother nor I will want nothing to do with you, because you are committing an ultimate wrong and will burn in Hell with all the other fags." His voice continues to rise, and he sounds like he is teaching a class, not verbally assaulting his child.
Beca's heart sinks heavily at the prospect of being disowned. She bites back tears, and tries to keep a neutral facial expression and voice as she speaks. "No," she can't be bi, not if it means losing her parents and God. "I meant a puppy. I wanted to get a puppy, that's my love interest, it was a joke, cause I'm so alone! Ha! Yeah I want to get a girl puppy and name it Amy Winehouse!" Beca rambles as she tries to chuckle along, and she can feel tears edging in her eyes.
Her father laughs, "Oh, you almost had me there! I was worried that my only kid was gonna be a dyke or something."
"Yeah, wouldn't want that." Beca mumbles to herself as she feels her chest almost sting. "Well I have to go to the Bellas and make amends. Bye dad, thanks for the help!" She hugs him goodbye and starts to walk away, but she turns around and looks at him, she is so done with this discrimination that her parents enforce in the name of God. "You know what? No."
"What?" her father asks.
"I am in love with Chloe Beale, yeah dad I love a girl. Your only child is bisexual, but guess what? I know you're wrong, God will still love me, because God isn't petty. God knows that love isn't a sin, and I may not love a boy but a great girl, and she makes me happy, and if that's a sin, then maybe God isn't what we believe him to be. But I know this like I know that the sky is blue: I love Chloe Beale, and God still loves me anyways. Goodbye now."
Beca nearly runs out of his house and down the street until she is leaning against a tree and she starts bawling. She cries until she can't feel her eyes anymore. She cries because of her dad's cruelty, but mainly because she did it. She stood up for herself, and now she is so fucking proud and happy, she feels lighter.
Beca gathers herself and reapplies her makeup in a McDonald's bathroom before rushing into the Bellas practice. She surely doesn't expect to see what she sees. Her ears ring from the sound of Stacie repeatedly blowing her rape whistle. Girls climb up the bleachers, away from the brawl happening between Aubrey, Chloe, and Fat Amy on the ground. Beca cringes upon seeing Lily making angels in the sea of Aubrey's vomit. Beca yells for them to stop and see what the hell is going on. She apologizes and stares at Aubrey and Chloe when she says her apologies. She asks to come back in, and starts to drag a chair until Aubrey stops her.
In their confession circle, she is shocked to learn of Chloe having her surgery. Beca feels instantly guilty that Chloe had to go through that alone, and if Beca hadn't been such a dick, she could have helped her through it. Aubrey turns to Beca for some leadership, and that is how Beca finds herself in the freezing pool in the middle of the night singing an awesome acapella mashup with her eyes glued on Chloe the entire time. She swears her heart is going fast enough to explode by the end of the song, she has no doubt in her mind that she is in love with Chloe Beale by the end of that song.
The Bellas all head back to Aubrey and Chloe's apartment to have a nice sleepover and bonding session. Upon getting there, Beca can't wait another moment without apologizing to Chloe. She easily manages to grip the girl's sleeve and drag her to her bedroom. The Bellas don't seem to notice, because Stacie and Fat Amy are having an intense dance off. She whispers to Cynthia Rose to video tape it for her while she's gone. Beca closes the door behind her and Chloe stands in front of the bed with crossed arms and a solemn glare at the ground.
"Can we talk?" Beca asks after a few awkward moments.
"Well I don't have much of a choice; you dragged me in here," Chloe says.
"I get that you're mad, you have every right to be mad. I just wanted to say how sorry I am," Beca whispers. "I have been terrible to you, and I understand if you want to never talk to me again, but I miss you and I've realized how much I've fucked up."
"Saying a speech about being sorry doesn't mean that you actually mean it." Chloe replies with a grumpy expression and her arms crossed.
Beca feels the dread consume her and she steps forward, "But I do mean it, I have hated the way I've treated you. And I want to be with you," Chloe's head snaps up to make eye contact and her eyes are watery. "I really want to be with you, and I haven't handled it correctly. I'm terrified and I handled the situation wrong, so I am very sorry."
Chloe sighs and runs her hands through her hair, "I get that you're sorry, it's just hard to forgive and forget. Is there even a point to try and be together when it's already caused us so much pain and heartache?"
Beca has never felt so scared and guilty. And old Beca would have run, she would just apologize and leave. But she is trying to change, and she steps forward and wraps her pinky around Chloe's index finger. "That's a valid question, but I think it would be worth it, because I am in love with you, Chloe Beale."
The senior's gasp echoes in the extremely quiet room. The silence is killing Beca's fragile heart, she looks away when she stares into those unreadable blue eyes. After a long time of Beca's heart pounding in her ear, she starts to unwrap her finger from Chloe's until she feels the grip tighten and she looks back into ecstatic blue eyes.
"You do?" Chloe asks with a bright and watery smile.
Beca nods.
She feels soft lips crash into hers, and she grabs the backs of Chloe's shoulders when her legs almost give out. Her whole body warms up at the feeling of the lips from the girl she loves. It isn't long before both of them are smiling too widely at each other to properly kiss one another.
"I love you. I love you so much, Beca Mitchell." Chloe squeals against her mouth with her forehead pressed against the younger girl.
Beca stares up into her eyes and smiles, she has never felt so much love and purpose until now. She is warm and happy, so, so happy. And so fucking in love with Chloe. She wraps her arms around Chloe and hugs onto her. "I love you," she whispers.
"I love you too," Chloe whispers before kissing Beca's temple.
Beca pulls away while grabbing Chloe's hand and leads the pair to the bed. She lays down and cuddles into Chloe's side. She is practically laying on top of the girl as she plays with her fingers and as Chloe plays with her hair and lovingly rubs Beca's back.
Beca presses a light kiss to the older girl's lips, "I'm so sorry for everything."
"It's hard, I understand. It's hard realizing your sexuality is different from the 'social norm.' And I'm not going to push your out of the closet now, not until you're ready. As long as you're happy and as long as you love me, we will be okay," Chloe whispers.
Beca smiles widely, "God, how am I so lucky?"
Chloe smiles back and attaches their lips again. The kiss is longer than the others, and it is loving and passionate. She has never felt more at home, and everything makes sense now. Happiness is all that really matters, and love is love. Maybe she struggled with the religious aspect, but she understands now she can have God and Chloe, because love isn't a sin and that is all that really matters. She is going to be okay, she has Chloe the girl she loves more than anything. She thought Chloe's love was killing her, but it really was what saved her. It gave her a reason to live and breathe. It gave her purpose and it gave her happiness. And that love she feels burning so deeply in her chest as she presses another long kiss on Chloe's lips is all that matters to her in this world, Beca Mitchell was going to be just fine.
A/N: El Fin. It was an amazing experience writing this, especially with all the support, I couldn't have done it without you guys. Thank you so, so much! And I am happy to end this for you guys! Thank you for everything, and you may see me again in the future. :)