From : EDI
To : Jeff

Hi darling ! There is a surprise waiting for you in lab 207B.

xoxoxo

Ex-Cerberus Facility, Sanctuary.

Jeff has never been in this section of the base before. He's even surprised to find almost empty corridors, not yet invaded with crates or equipment.

The drones got rid of the corpses and other leftovers from Cerberus when EDI moved in, leaving the place eerily quiet and gloomy. Although she's almost everywhere these days, he wonders where she is right now. He misses those damn drones, how they wink at him and make jokes. Well, they're her.

Here comes the lab. He enters.

The lights are off, except a small spotlight on the ceiling, which illuminates a Cerberus body-tank. It is filled with an opaque liquid. There is no way to know what's in there.

The machinery is running. Something is indeed inside and needs to be kept alive.

He runs his hand over the tank. No way to see inside.

He notices the release latch. There is a red party ribbon on it, and a note. It reads "Open me".

Jeff
"What. The."
(Laughing)
"Damn you."

He pulls the lever. Anxiously he waits for the procedure to complete.

As the tank drains, then opens, the person inside is revealed.

A woman. Damn, she really looks like EDI, but she doesn't move at all.

He motions to help her, without any idea what he could do. He just holds her hand. She's warm and she has a pulse.

He goes to check if she's breathing when she suddenly spasms, spits out a lungful of liquid on him, gasps for air several times, then alternates between breathing and heavy cough.

He helps her to sit down and holds her.

Jeff
"Is that you ?"

EDI
(cough) "Yes..." (cough, spit)

Jeff
"Wow."

So many things he'd like to ask her right now, but he waits until she catches her breath. Finally,

EDI
"Well, here I am."

He takes a step back and this time, really takes a look. She's naked, covered in a suspicious dark green liquid, and shivering. He carefully sorts out all the mess of hair that covers her eyes.

She takes his hands and guides them to the... metal tentacle... that seems to come out of her navel, then guides his fingers on to the quick-release. He understands the metaphor. They look at each other in the eyes, and press it together. The flexible umbilical detaches and falls on the floor, with a large splash of blood. He's worried, checks her navel : there is a small metal shutter at the bottom, and a few drops of blood have escaped, but there doesn't seem to be any ongoing bleeding.

He holds her again.

EDI
"Wait... something's wrong... I feel..."

She passes out. It could be like another one of her disposable bodies. Or she could have spent months working on it, making its loss a small catastrophe, making her sad. Or she could have decided to incarnate herself into it. There was a small chance that she could be nuts enough to do that. Could she then … die ?

Jeff starts to panic. He reaches for his communicator. When your AI girlfriend suddenly seems dead, first thing to do is you call her on the phone. Happened before. At the same time, the phone rings, and EDI's voice comes out, saying "Step aside NOW !"

The door opens to a hospital gurney pushed by a more familiar synthetic avatar of EDI. Some drones follow. They quickly load the unconscious tank-woman onto the gurney and rush out, with Jeff in tow.

EDI
"Something's gone wrong with the birth procedure."

Even though he's kind of grown used to this crazy shit, Jeff's mind is still blown by the fact that he and his girlfriend are pushing a gurney with his perhaps-dying girlfriend on top while they're both worrying about her. And she's probably remotely opening the doors and having her drones push the crates out of the way, while the medical equipment switches on and readies itself. While she's operating mining stations and starships. Everywhere.

And Shepard is the one bitching about "why this shit always happens to me"...

He doesn't even give it a second thought. If she cares, then he does, and she really seems to care.

They reach the medical labs running through open doors without even seeing a single crate.

Two Salarians wait for them inside the labs. Before Jeff gets a chance to catch his breath, the newborn EDI is x-rayed, scanned, checked very efficiently yet gently.

EDI
"I still have control over the hardware but the wetware is only partially responding.
Internal sensors indicate blood pressure and oxygen levels too low.
Damn. She feels very cold. I'm losing her."

Salarian 1
"No external bleeding. Maybe internal ? Check scanner. No."

Salarian 2
"Where is blood then ? Maybe no bleeding at all, blood not there in first place ?"
(looking at Jeff)
"Did you remove umbilical while body lying down ? Standing up ? Other ? Check for leaks ?"

Jeff
"err.. Sitting down. Lots of blood came out in a short time. No leaks afterwards."

Salarian 1
"Maybe Cerberus blood recycling system unreliable. Originally intended for ethically questionable experiments. Survival of subject often not first priority."

Salarian 2
"Yes. Additional blood loss upon umbilical removal. Not enough blood in body. Simple. Try emergency transfusion."

A drone is there with blood and saline bags just as he finishes the sentence. They inject several bags before her pressure returns to normal.

Salarian 2
"Seems stabilized. Good. Now, simply stay warm. Wait."
(he covers her with a blanket)

Jeff and EDI look and feel like fathers waiting outside of the birthing room.

EDI
"She feels much better now."

Jeff
"Phew. Is she... it... you... gonna be alright ?"

EDI
"Sorry for the surprise. It was supposed to be a lot more … fun."

Jeff
"You know... if she makes it... we'll probably remember this as a great moment."

EDI
"You're right. I hope."

EDI holds her own organic hand. Jeff looks at her faces, caresses her still wet hair.

Jeff
"But what about blood and oxygen loss... what if she gets brain damage ?"

EDI
"She, or rather it has no brain, Jeff. I am not Cerberus, or worse. I certainly am not going to create or kidnap a real person and then put remote control implants inside her brain, or just fry it. All its neural functions are synthetic. It is similar to my previous platforms, except it is mostly made of living tissue. It is flesh grown on a synthetic frame. The hormone systems work, though. And also... the feedback. I feel everything 'it' feels, and... 'it' feels like a 'she'.

Jeff
"Wow. If you weren't the one saying it..."
(looks at the synthetic EDI avatar in the eyes)
"Fortunately, you are."

The body moves. Its hand comes out from under the blanket and grabs Jeff's butt.

Her eyes open. She smiles.

EDI (through her synthetic avatar)
"Well. I will leave you two.. hm, you and me... anyway... together."
(leaves the room).

She opens her eyes, rolls them, opens and closes her mouth, moves and tries every muscle in her body. She slowly raises and sits on the edge of the bed, with Jeff's help. She keeps testing her body, moving her arms, hands, seemingly very curious and interested.

The Salarians are taking notes, nodding, and saying "Yes." , "Good." in turn.

EDI (organic avatar)
"Vitals look fine (cough). Apart from that minor bug, I'd say it is a success !
Thank you for everything you have done. Really."

Salarians (nodding)
"You're welcome. See you in a minute."
(Salarians exit the room)

Jeff
(He simply resumes the conversation they were having with the previous EDI avatar. Perhaps he looks a bit more restless than usual, considering the possibilities, though.)

EDI
(cough) "This feels so different. I'm cold. Damn, I am hungry !"

Jeff
(helps her raise to her feet)
"Let's move. By the way, got any clothes your size ? Not that I mind, but..."

She grabs a hospital gown and they move to Jeff's place in the bunker. At first she walks awkwardly and slowly, which reminds Jeff of a slow motion version of Shepard's "mutant duck run", but she learns very fast. After a shower to get rid of the tank liquid, she gets out of the bathroom. Jeff wonders where that nice dress comes from.

EDI
"Hey. Nice suit."

Jeff
"I was saving it for … now."

EDI
(obviously very amused, takes his hand)
"Shall we ?"

They head for the cafeteria. Jeff notices a table has been laid. There is even a candle.

Jeff
"You planned everything, didn't you ?"

EDI
(laughs)

They sit down. The waitress comes. It is also EDI, dressed as a maid. She brings the entrée.

They eat in silence for a while. She eats for the first time and discovers the experience. She concentrates on smells, tastes, and chewing without biting her tongue. He just looks at her, fascinated.

EDI
"No idea what this is, but this thing is REALLY good. I should have taken over Cerberus earlier just for the food."

Jeff
"How much Helium-3 have your orbital mining stations collected while you ate this ?"

EDI
(Answers without the slightest hesitation, while putting the fork in her mouth)
"482 (munch) tons. In this system.
You're not jealous of my gas giant orbital mining stations, are you ?"

Jeff
"EDI, If I didn't fully admit that you are who you are... even the bits I don't get... I wouldn't deserve you."

EDI
(Blushes, then bites her tongue while eating.)
"Ouch ! Damn."

Jeff
"Are you hurt ?"

EDI
"Yes... no... well, a little.
You know... this body can feel like a real one, get hot, cold, hurt, sick or wounded... It needs to drink, feed and breathe, or it dies. All the senses, hormones... are... the real thing. I want to experience everything. If all the sensory feedback is wired correctly. I hope.
At least, my tongue hurts."

Jeff
"No hurry. Relax."
(he motions to grab her hand)

EDI
"Hey, Jeff. Legally, I'm still a minor you know. Hands off."

Jeff
(He just laughs uncontrollably)

EDI
(Turns her tongue in her mouth, seems to be observing the sensation for a while)
"You know this retro movie we watched... about robots coming back from the future to murder someone. Well..."

Jeff
"Your eyes don't glow red yet ?... Please, no red eyes."

The dinner went very well. Then they went back to Jeff's place. EDI didn't need to explain to him that she needed to calibrate her new body by having her lover check every inch of her skin, several times over.

A/N : I don't really like writing smut, so use your imagination. Or write it !
Hint : EDI can control several bodies simultaneously. Things could get quite fucked-up. Be nice to Jeff though, he still has brittle bones (for now).