When Addie awoke before the alarm the following morning, Damon was wrapped around her like ivy, his head on her chest, his arm around her waist, and his leg between her. Odd how their positions had become reverse during the night but he had kept away the nightmares. Actually, in his arms was the first time she had been able to fall back to sleep after one of the dreams. Gently, she stroked his soft hair as the grogginess of sleep faded.
Glancing at her clock, Addie softly exhaled as she debated on what she wanted to do before getting ready for school in an hour. Asleep Damon looked so young and harmless. Holding him and getting some more shut wasn't a bad idea. There was something about the light of day and the safety that came with it that made her slightly uncomfortable with his touch, though. Addie pulled her pillow out from under her and shoved it over her face. She was being stupid. Damon had made a mistake when he'd drugged her. He had never meant for her to get sick; he hated seeing her suffer. Wasn't last night proof of that? Damon would never touch her in any way that she didn't want him to. Frankly, he wouldn't touch her in ways she wanted him to a lot of the time.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
The pillow muffled her frustrated groan. She wished her harpy, judgemental subconscious would just go back into hibernation mode. It felt nice being able to completely trust Damon; he was safe. Addie and her personified subconscious both rolled their eyes. Safe was not a word to be associated with Damon Salvatore but he did have her back. He wouldn't hurt her. But he had and that made her skin crawl. She moved the pillow from her face and looked down at Damon's tumbled hair. How was she going to get up without waking him? The tug on the charms of her bellybutton ring made her jump.
"Isn't it a bit early to be thinking so hard?" Damon murmured as he kissed along the top of her camisole.
"I'm not," she breathed quietly as he rested his head back on her chest, his five o'clock shadow tickling just over her heart.
She could feel his teasing hum reverberate through her. "Liar. Your heart is beating faster than usual. And," his cool hand slid over the smooth skin of her stomach and slightly nudged down the hem of her shorts to rub at her bare waist, "you're tense."
The shiver he invoked was one not one she enjoyed. Quickly deciding, Addie pushed at his shoulders and fought to sit up as she declared, "I'm going for a run."
"What's wrong?" he asked, eyeing her with sleepy, wary eyes.
"Well, coach has been riding my ass since I've been missing practice. My 5k times have been just under 18 minutes, which is not good. So, I'm going for a run because I don't feel like having my ass yelled at during practice," she half confessed as she got out of bed.
"That might be true but that's not the truth," Damon said pointedly, trying not to get frustrated. "What's wrong?"
Through the mirror over her dresser she glared at him. Damn him for knowing her so well. As she pulled out an old shirt and a pair of track shorts she snapped, "I need to clear my head. Happy?"
He gave her a false grin and demanded, "No. What's bothering you?"
"You," she admitted sharply, going back into the bathroom to change. Quickly she switched clothes and went through the methodical routine of brushing her teeth. A few strokes of her brush, a scrunchie and her hair was swept back into a ponytail.
"Wanna tell me what I did now?" snickered Damon as he heard the door to the room open again.
"Not particularly," Addie mumbled as pulled out a pair of socks.
Pushing his fingers through his hair he sighed, "That probably just means it's even more important that we talk about it."
She frowned as she tugged on a trainer. "You really want to discuss the fact that I didn't feel comfortable waking up next to you?"
Damon faltered as he tried to button up his shirt. No, he didn't want to discuss that. Profusely he apologized, "Ads, I'm so, so sorry. I never meant to -"
"I know," she interrupted, standing up. "I wanted you to stay, Damon. I asked you to. After the nightmare, that was the best sleep I've gotten since I last slept with you. I just… waking up…. Look, Elena and Alaric are probably up training. I'd rather not face the Spanish Inquisition so if you wouldn't mind," she waved generally in the direction of her window.
"Seriously? You are seriously telling me to use to window?"
Tartly she retorted, "If I remember correctly, you're quite fond of my window."
"To get in!"
"Oh, so, only when it's convenient for you and not me?"
Studying her carefully a crease formed between his eyebrows as he frowned. "Are you looking for a reason to fight?"
"No," Addie insisted as she grabbed her iPod off the charger and shoved it into an armband. "I just need some -"
"Don't you dare say space," Damon growled.
"Space."
He threw his hands up and ran them through his hair in frustration. "Ads, I gave you weeks of space and it nearly killed me. You can't say the distance was really good for you, either. The nightmares started when you insisted upon this 'space' and they are going to keep happening as long as you keep it up."
"That's my problem, not yours," she muttered darkly as she shuffled around the books and stacks of papers on her desk. Why could she never find her earbuds when she most needed to?
"Our problem! You think I'm going to sleep knowing that you're not?"
Addie rolled her eyes in annoyance as she moved over to search on top of her dresser. To herself she mumbled, "I think you should just shut up."
Moving quickly, Damon rested his hands on either side of her, careful not to touch her but still trapping her between him and the dresser. Through the mirror he met her startled blue eyes. "Be honest," he said gently, "are you doing this because not wanting me to touch you makes more sense if you're angry at me?"
"Does it really matter?" she asked straightening up.
From a single finger he dangled the bright blue cord to her headphones in front of her face tauntingly. "Yes, it does matter. Last night you were scared and vulnerable and you wanted me. In your most defenseless state you clung to me, Addie." He yanked the cord away before she could snatching it from him as she scowled at him in the mirror. "Not just yet. You want me near you when you're weak. But now you're back to being you and you're wound so freaking tight that your defense mechanism is in overdrive and some small part of you actually thinks I might hurt you. When you're weak you seek protection. When you've managed to stake me three times you think you need protection. Don't you get how backwards that is?"
He let her take the headphones and she concentrated on plugging them into her iPod. Addie snorted as she slipped the running band onto her arm, "You're really going to try make sense of the functioning of my brain?"
"I'm not stupid enough to embark on that endeavour alone." He paused and considered, "Or I'm not smart enough to do that. When it comes to understanding you I'm not really sure if intelligence is a factor or if making sense of Addie logic is a game of luck."
"It's a game of common sense."
"That's exactly the problem," Damon laughed. "You're not functioning on a level of common sense. You're doing the exact opposite."
Addie turned between the hands he had pinned against the desk so that she was facing him. "Move."
"Kiss me."
Pushing at his shoulders she huffed, "I'm being serious."
"So am I. Kiss me and I'll move. I'll leave," he offered.
"Promise?"
He nodded and Addie reluctantly gave in. Pushing herself up on her toes, she chastely kissed him. At least she tried. Damon's hands moved from the dresser cradle the nape of her neck and gently hold her chin, keeping her to him. When Addie gasped with surprise he sneaked his tongue into her mouth, sensually stroking and exploring. He grinned when she stopped pushing his shoulders and instead used them to balance herself. His hand slid to her hip, gently pushing her back down as Damon bowed his head. A groan caught in his throat as her teeth skimmed over his lower lip repeatedly and her fingers curled into his hair.
"Move," Addie whispered with a smirk as she pulled away.
His lip jutted out in a pout. "Tease."
"You promised to move," she pouted back.
"Nothing? You still don't want me touching you?" he frowned in confusion. He thought if he could just remind her, just convince her that he wouldn't hurt her then everything would be fixed.
Addie shook her head; she needed to think about that. "What I want is to go on my run. Really, Damon, please move."
Addie glared at the tape as she folded it over so it would stick to both the purple banner with "Happy Birthday" written in glittery pink and the locker. On her run inspiration had struck and she was compiling a list of reasons why she should just get Damon to compel Jeremy to stay in Mystic Falls and send Elena off to live with family friends in Denver. Elena not telling Addie about Jeremy and acting if everything was normal that morning was tied with sticking Addie on locker decoration duty for Caroline's birthday. Her artistic creativity skills were limited to those coloring pages they gave kids were everywhere there was a "1" you had to color blue and everywhere there was a "2" had to be red and so on. Artistic design was a skill her brother and sister had inherited; art class had been the only class she was use to getting a B in.
"Hey!" Bonnie called cheerily as she approached, carrying a large, creative poster board saying "Happy 18th Birthday, Caroline!"
Smacking the two tapped ends of the cut piece of ribbon to the top of the birthday girl's locker Addie grumbled, "You're late."
"I know, I'm sorry. I, uh, I got held up," apologized Bonnie, giving her a small smile.
"Yeah, well, you and my sister wanted to do this so here," Addie picked up the small box of decorating supplied off the floor and shoved it into the other girl's hand as she took the poster from her, "let's switch."
"Fair enough," nodded the witch. Something told her not to mention how crooked the banners Addie had tacked on were. "Why are you in such a bad mood?"
Addie laughed wearily. "You mean a morning filled with Damon, my sister, and arts and crafts isn't a good enough reason? I take it you haven't talked to my sister if you're not in a bad mood?"
"No. What did she do?"
"Jeremy's going to be staying with some family friends in Denver for awhile."
Bonnie raised her eyebrows at Addie and slowly said, "Jeremy wouldn't just leave you and Elena to deal with Klaus on your own."
"Yeah, no, I know, that's exactly what I said," Addie nodded. Her smile was too broad and her voice too sweet as she continued, "My wonderful sister asked Damon to compel him and being the wonderful person that he is, Damon said yes."
"She what?"
"She hasn't even told me what she's done!" she snapped angrily. "The only reason I know is because Damon told me. She tried to get him to compel me out of town too!"
The witch's face scrunched up in disgust. "At least he has the decency not to compel you."
"Oh, it's Damon! He's too selfish. He's not that noble," hissed Addie.
"In general, no. When it comes to you, where you're concerned, Damon's a decent guy. At least, his heart is in the right place," defended Bonnie.
Her dark blue eyes narrowed suspiciously, "Since when are you pro-Damon?"
Bonnie shrugged guiltily. "You were right about me being biased against him. I've thought about that. You guys may have had a fight, a pretty bad one, but, I don't know. Maybe you shouldn't completely shut him out of your life. As your friend, I will honestly tell you that you seemed happier when you were with him."
"You seemed happier when you were with my brother; I'd never tell you to go back to him," Addie pointed out.
"I doubt Damon cheated on you; he's not that stupid."
Sighing, she leaned against the locker next to Caroline's as she watched Bonnie attach curly pink ribbons. "He's not that kind of stupid but he may be stupider. I don't know."
"He'd do anything for you," countered Bonnie.
"Couldn't that be a bad thing?"
Bonnie gave her an incredulous look. "Sweetie, you're worry about having an overly devoted guy while the rest of us worry about getting one that can be half that passionate. If you seriously got into a fight with him about how much he cares about you, you guys really don't understand how a relationship work."
"We don't!" Addie scoffed. "I have no experience and his experience is Katherine and compelled flings."
"Yeah, that's a pretty bad combination. Just consider talking over whatever you guys got into a fight about. You guys are - you're good together," encouraged Bonnie.
She nodded. "Only if you talk to my brother. I know you two haven't really worked out your issues either. I think he was packing this morning so I don't know how much of a chance you have."
The baby pink wrapping paper crinkled loudly as Addie snugly wrapped it around the square jewelry box. One weekend Rebekah and she had flown to France and in a little boutique Addie had found the perfect birthday present for Caroline, a hand-chiseled, heart-shaped opal pendant on a white gold chain with matching studs. The girl loved jewelry, hearts, and her birthstone because it represented everyone's favorite day of the year, her birthday. She wasn't going to tell her the necklace and earrings were from France, though; she hadn't brought back everyone such nice gifts and didn't want to feel guilty about it. In fact, it was probably best if she gave Caroline her present in private.
Her hand jerked as Addie jumped at the knocking on the door. She hissed as the paper ran between her thumb and index finger. At the door she snapped, "What?"
"Let me in, Ads," whined Damon from the other side.
"Or what?" she retorted with a smirk.
"Or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow this door in."
Addie giggled as she moved to open the door. Her features morphed into a critical frown as she looked at him. "The big bad wolf? Really?"
"No," he sneered sardonically and corrected, "the big bad vampire."
She rolled her eyes as she ushered him into the room and quipped, "I'm shaking in my boots." Simultaneously they looked down at her bright aqua Converse.
"Well, shaking in your high tops," Damon snickered as he lightly kicked at her foot with his. Frowning he studied her carefully. "Where are you hurt?" he muttered, sounding confused.
"Damn vampire senses. I'm not hurt. I just got a paper cut," Addie explained, holding up her hand for him to examine.
Carefully cradling his hand he offered, "Do you want me to -"
"It's just a paper cut," she said firmly, taking her hand back. Looking at it she concluded, "It's not even bleeding, really."
"I was just being polite. How'd you get it?" he casually asked as he slipped off his leather jacket and tossed it onto her bed.
"I was trying to wrap Caroline's birthday present but I get along with wrapping paper about as well as I get along with her," Addie scowled as she resumed her task, taping two edges together.
Damon chuckled, "I am not even going to try and reason how you compare a person to wrapping paper. I do happen to be quite efficient with it myself, though, so if you would like some help…."
"Please," she sighed in exasperation, as she pushed the partially wrapped box and tape to the other end of her desk, towards him. A sense of envy hit as she watched him fold and manipulate the paper with ease. "Wrapping paper, it's annoying, like Caroline. It also deceptive; it doesn't tell you what's inside, which is usually a good surprise. You see Caroline and you expect the shallow, dumb blonde cheerleader. Before she changed into a vampire, what you saw was kind of what you got. She's a stronger, more mature person now."
"You make some of the weirdest comparison, love. Here," he grinned, passing the gift to her. "Perfectly wrapped and I managed not to get any paperc uts."
Addie bit the inside of her cheek as she noticed Damon wearing a grey tie with alternating navy, black, darker grey, and white stripes at pinky width intervals with a black button up. It was a new tie. Trying not to smile she pointed out, "You're wearing a tie."
Conspiratorially, he leaned closer to her and whispered, "I know." Damon shrugged and gave her a lazy grin. "You said you like it when I wear a tie. Believe it or not, I do try to be a good boyfriend and impress you."
"I can see that," she said slowly, trying to hide the humor in her voice, "There's just… the look isn't really you."
"I know," he repeated, less amused. "I'm willing to look like an idiot for my girlfriend."
"It's only a minor wardrobe malfunction," Addie reassured him with a slight twitch to her lips. Gesturing towards his tie she asked, "May I?"
Damon tilted his chin up, allowing her easier access to his tie. The back of Addie's knuckles gently grazed his throat as she undid the most basic of tie knots, the Oriental tie. Leaving it draped around his neck she undid the button at the height of the collar and then the one at the top of his chest.
Distractedly she asked, "Why are you dressed up?"
"Some fundraising Founder's party supporting the restoration of Wickery Bridge, it's a cover for a council meeting. Why?"
"I'm deciding if I want you to look good or if that will just make me feel threatened and jealous all night."
Earnestly he tried to comfort her, "You don't need to-"
Addie waved a dismissive hand and interrupted, "I know and I'm definitely not going to fret over a bunch of bored, middle aged women." She flicked open the button over his heart. "Those parties are very dull. At least you'll be something entertaining to look at. We just need to figure out what to do with this," reflected Addie, gently tugging at each side of the silk around his neck.
The fabric glided through her fingers as she tried to figure out what she wanted to do. While Damon wasn't exactly on display, he was a little more exposed than she liked. The knot needed to be one that was large and distracting, preferably one that she could adjust so she didn't spend five times trying to tie it perfectly. Deciding, she pulled the tie off of him and draped it around her own neck.
"Uh, what are you doing?" he laughed as he watched her adjust the grey fabric until the skinny end was just longer than the wide end of the tie.
"Tying your tie," she replied obviously.
"Not that, uh, playing life-size Barbie isn't fun but I do have two teeny, tiny things to ask. First, you do know that I'm the one wearing the tie so you should probably tie it on me, right? Second, are you sure of what you're doing? That's a $400 Kiton tie of pure silk that I would rather not get knotted," Damon said cautiously, torn between letting her have her fun and the fact that he really liked the tie and didn't feel like running home to get a new one.
Addie scowled slightly as she looked up at him, "Of course I know what I'm doing! I just, well, it's easier to do this on yourself than it is on someone else and the knot I'm doing is adjustable so it doesn't matter."
Her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth as she focused. While pinching the big end she took the thin end and crossed over where she held, taking the length up through the little loop she had created. She wrapped the little end around the back of the other side, forming a triangle, crossed over the front of the tie, went back up the loop through the back. On each side of the forming knot she made a triangle, leaving on a little loose, and then repeated the process with another tight triangle on each side. With her thumb she found the little bit of space that had been left between the loose triangle and the know and shoved the tail of the tie through that gap.
"Ha! Perfect!" she beamed triumphantly up at him.
Unable to suppress a grin at her glee and her adorable mistake Damon had to cover his mouth with his hand, making it look as if he was studying her very seriously.
Knowing what his hand was hiding, Addie lightly smacked him in the stomach with the back of her hand as she insisted, "I didn't screw up! Look! The tie is a bit long on me but look." She grabbed hold of the knot and slid it partially down the tie.
Removing the article Addie transferred it to around Damon's neck. Her lips quirked to one side as she appraised him and decided to loosen the tie a little more, Oh, yeah. That was definitely more Damon, not buttoned up to the neck. Between the large, intricate knot and the tie, the women at the fundraiser wouldn't have much more to oogle than the devilishly handsome good looks he boasted every day. He was almost perfect; there was just one last thing..
"No," he said firmly, catching her hand as it came dangerously close to the hair he had spent more time than he cared to admit to styling.
Addie let out a long whining sound of disapproval. "It's just so styled."
"Funny. I think that's what I did to it before I left the house. So, hair aside, do I pass inspection?" he asked, holding his hands out to the side.
She bit her lip, giving a noncommittal shrug as she felt herself color slightly.
A smug smirk of satisfaction plastered itself to Damon's face. "Why, Miss Gilbert, are you blushing?" he teased.
"No!" she squealed.
Stepping closer to her he nodded and said with certainty, "I am definitely making you blush."
She pursed her lips in a failed attempt at a scowl and shook her head. "No, I'm just surprised that your looks actually match your ego for once."
Dramatically Damon slid a hand under the tie and clutched at his heart. "Ouch!"
"That''s a compliment!"
"Paired with an insult. I swear, that is a gift only you are blessed with."
"I wasn't aware you could actually be insulted," Addie quipped back smartly.
He inhaled sharply and gave her a guilty smile. "It's pretty hard to do but when it happens, well, it's always you, my love."
"Really?" she asked softly, her shoulders sagging,
"Hey, hey, hey," he said quickly, lifting her chin so she was looking him in the eye. "I'm just kidding."
"You're not, though."
Damon sighed, looking for the right words, "Ok, I'm partially serious. But, Ads, we both know my ego can get a little over inflated. You keep it in check. You keep me grounded." He laughed, "Love, if it wasn't for you I would probably be trying to compel half the town and thinking I could get away with it."
"You wouldn't become that arrogant," she giggled, unconsciously slipping her arms around his waist.
"Sure I would! The Salvatore's have always supplied the vervain to the council. You really think I'm above cutting off the supply and just compelling everyone? I mean ever since Liz has found out about me I'd be stupid to assume their wasn't someone else available to supply vervain should I fail to so I can't do that now but still."
Skeptically she questioned, "Should I be concerned that you seemed to have thought a lot about this?"
"Nope," he answered, poking the tip of her nose as he stressed the "puh" sound. "You should be concerned that this is me pulling evil ideas off the top of my head. Can you imagine what I could come up with if I actually sat down and thought about it?"
"You talk a big game but your bark is much worse than your bite," Addie murmured, stepping closer to him.
Damon smirked as he brushed the hair off her neck and gently, deliberately scraped his teeth where her pulse increased. His lips moved against her neck as he playfully growled, "Do I need to remind you about my bite?"
"Maybe," she teased, tilting her head to allow him better access.
He pulled her into his embrace, briefly waiting to see if she recoiled or tensed. When all he felt were her small hands pushing into his back he took that as a sign of encouragement. His breath was warm as it flowed over her, making her shiver. Feather light lips grazed the shell of her ear until he planted them firmly just beneath it. Addie whimpered softly as his teeth tugged at her earlobe. Warm, teasing kisses trailed down the length of her neck.
"Like I said," Addie whispered, softly sighing, "you talk a big game but it's just that."
Leaning back he raised an eyebrow at her in disbelief. "You wouldn't seriously be thinking that? I find my bite to be a bit more effective with a little build up," said Damon, his voice low and rough as he firmly rubbed at her back, cradling her to him, "don't you?"
"I think games are more fun when two can play," she retorted with a sly grin A sharp tug on his tie brought his lips with in reach but he instantly pulled away, a taunting smirk playing at his lips.
"Usually that's how it is, but, you sees, you insulted a vampire's bite. That is not a wise move, Addie. Right now it's my game," he informed her good naturedly. In a darker, more salacious tone he added, "And you're the prize."
"Nu-uh," she giggled, quickly darting to the far side of her bed. "I refuse to be the prize in your twisted game."
Damon crossed his arms and frowned at her across the room. In a flash he was directly in front of Addie, cupping her cheek and claiming, "You have always been the prize."
"Ugh! No vampire advantages!" she exclaimed, pulling away from him.
He cocked his head and gave her a predatory grin that made her knees week as she took a step back. Unfortunately it was into the edge of the bed; Damon had her cornered.
"That's cute; you first accuse me of a weak bite and then you expect me to play fair."
"I just said your bark was worse than your bite," said Addie, her defensively raised hands brushing against the fabric of his shirt. "See, you're being all intense and intimidating but I kinda feel like I'm playing with a really cute puppy."
That floored him. His jaw dropped as he gaped, "A puppy? I'm a puppy? And cute?!"
Screw that. He'd be fine with Addie viewing him as many pathetic things but never something so passive and defenseless as a puppy. His hand buried in her hair as he gave it it a more forceful tug than usual, tilting her head back until she was looking up at him. His lips descended on hers in a hot, heady kiss. It wasn't the usual teasing game when his skilled tongue invaded her mouth, tasting, exploring, dominating. The fabric of his shirt bunched under his fingers as she tried to challenge him. He wasn't having it, though, and bit sharply at her lip, making his position of power clear. Damon slipped the bright blue flannel from her shoulders as he gently pushed her onto the bed.
"Cute?" he growled challengingly.
Grinning like the Cheshire cat, Addie wrapped his tie around her hand and yanked him to her as she laid back. Sweetly she dared, "Adorable."
Damon met her in another bruising kiss. The feel of his hands moving along her body, the beat of his heart, the taste of his mouth, the clash of lips, teeth, and tongue, stole her breath. Addie whimpered softly as he alternated between forceful nips, teasing nibbles, and soothing strokes of his tongue against her lower lip. Deft fingers flicked open the buttons of his shirt. His breath caught as her nails raked down his chest.
Releasing her lip with a soft pop he trailed quick kisses from the corner of her mouth to just below her ear. Again he tugged tight on her hair to leave her neck perfectly exposed to him. He smirked while she began to squirm beneath him as he gently nipped his way down.
When he reached the base of Addie's throat he gave her a firm kiss. A hand on her wriggling hip stilled her as he slightly pushed her into the bed. "Don't move," he ordered quietly and gently nipped at her neck.
"Damon," she pleaded, drawing his name out as his lips ghosted up the side of her throat. Scratching down his back she felt rather than heard his sudden inhale.
Pulling her earlobe between his teeth he teased, "Don't do that."
The cool skin of his broad, brawny back felt like a soothing balm against her arms and the heated blood pumping through her as she wrapped her hands around Damon's shoulders and tried to bring him closer to her. When she tried to kiss him he buried his face further into her neck leaving her nose brushing his satin dark locks. His hair had the minty, woody smell of his tea tree hairline product. One of the most physically attractive things about Damon was how he always smelled amazing.
"Do something," she whined.
He chuckled and peppered chaste kisses up and down her neck again. Sardonically he taunted, "Can't, I'd ruin my adorable reputation."
"I was wrong," mumbled Addie, her hands coming around to explore the front of his chest. "You are dark, alluring, mysterious, sexy, and… and… what else do you need to hear?"
"That's good," Damon acquiesced, shivering as Addie scraped at his nipple, the flesh pebbling under her touch. He softly nipped and nibbled along her neck, enjoying one hand exploring his chest and the other shoved in his hair, trying to pull him closer. Her breathing labored, he felt her starting to squirm beneath him again. "Tsk, tsk, tsk," he admonished, his breath blowing warm over her. "Told you not to do that, love."
Frustrated, Addie ran a nail through his happy trail and to the top of his pants. Far too sweetly she replied, "I'm sorry. Please play nice."
Suddenly his teeth closed around the side of her throat, making Addie moan loudly and arch up into him. He slipped an arm under her back to keep her pressed to his chest. He released slightly to move lower on her neck and clamped down again. Even the hand still trying to push her into the bed couldn't manage to keep her still as she squirmed in anticipation and excitement under him. Her fingers hooked through his belt loops on either side of the perfect v-cut that outlined his hips. She dragged his hips until his were directly over hers and gave a sharp tug, pulling him towards her. Addie shivered at the vibrations from Damon's intense groan when they collided. Her leg wound up around his, keeping him close to her.
He gave a sharp bite just below her ear that he knew would teeter on that fine line between pleasure and pain. His hand trailed along the curve of her hip, briefly squeezed at her behind, and stroked along the back of her thigh, up until he reached the hem of her shorts and ran his fingers as far up under the hem as he could reach. Even in doing this he admonished, "I said 'don't move.'" Though he did manage to look at her disapprovingly.
He knew he should pull away from her, that things were dangerously close to going too far; when she woke up that morning she hadn't even wanted him to touch her. She was still very confused on what she wanted. And he… he really enjoyed the feel of her silky skin and the softness cradled against him. And the heat radiating off her was so intense and delicious it was creating a fever in him from the inside out.
Addie flushed under his gaze and coyly bit her lip. His hand on her leg and being held so close to him was very distracting, making it take a little longer than usual for her to come up with a comeback. Running her fingers through his hair, a small upturn to the corners of her lips and wide, dark eyes begging for forgiveness upon her face, she managed to sound surprisingly innocent while being so sly and pointed out, "I think we both know by now I have a problem following instructions. Plus, when we do things my way, it generally turns out better." Addie nodded as Damon was shaking his head. Placing a hand on each side of his face she stilled him and pulled him down for a soft, gentle kiss. "Yes," she insisted quiet and sensual, "I think this will be a lot more fun if I move." She gave a roll of her hips into him, making him grunt.
Damon kissed her fervently as she pulled him into another kiss. He tried to keep control but he was distracted by what she had said. It did seem that she always chose to purpose do the opposite of whatever he said. If they did a direct comparison of who had a greater success rate with plans, Addie had the edge over him, but only if they compared over the time that they knew each other. And, yes, of course her idea was more fun. Her teeth snapped fiercely at his lower lip and he let out a low groan, unconsciously rocking into her. That felt good, really good. Why was he trying to argue with Addie logic? Addie always made rational sense. Why was he stupidly trying to argue against what was right? He acquiesced and pressed into her again.
She moaned at the delicious friction Damon was creating, rubbing herself against him as she tried to generate more. He kissed her hard, swallowing the wonderful sounds she was making, her When he felt Addie wiggle her hand between their chest he was afraid she was pushing him away but felt a great wave of relief when he realize she tugging out one of the sides of his shirts from between him. Then the material was gliding over his shoulders and down to his elbows.
"Off," Addie ordered breathlessly, her chest rising rising and falling against his rapidly.
Damon hummed contemplatively before declaring, "No. That would mean moving. I'm quite comfortable." The tips of his fingers skimmed the inside of her thigh and he toyed with the clasp of her bra to make his point.
"Well, I'm comfortable, too, but for you I'd be willing to be uncomfortable for a fraction of a second," she offered suggestively. He raised a speculative eyebrow at her. Addie gave a small shrug as she blushed. It wasn't that big of a deal. He'd seen her, held her, when she was in her bikini top and that covered less than her bra did. Of course that had been before they were dating and had been so he could drain out half of her blood as a step in the process of helping her resist compulsion. It would be breaking another one of his protective boundaries but she had already convinced him to ignore a pretty big one.
He shook his head and sighed dramatically, as if it was a major inconvenience and huffed, "The things I do for you,"
Addie smirked triumphantly as he shook off the shirt but it quickly turned to horror when he started to mess with the grey striped tie. "No, no, no!" she cried, swatting at his hands. "A) It's going to be a wrinkled mess if you do that. B) I'll never be able to retie it to where you can't tell that. C) I don't want to have to tie a different knot because that one is perfect."
"Yeah, I'll just leave the tie on, in that case," Damon muttered sardonically. "You are so weird." Her lips pursed and she gave him a dismissive shrug. He gently kissed her cheek, the corner of her mouth. Against her lips he whispered, "And I love it. I love you, Ads."
Just like that she was filled with the swooping feeling she got whenever the roller coaster went down the biggest hill at 80 mph. Being loved by Damon was one of the most exhilarating, suspenseful, terrifying experience. It was perfectly safe and would run smoothly a million times until that time she forgot to pull the harness tight enough or the safety bar wasn't pushed down far enough and she ended up getting thrown from the ride. She knew he wanted to hear the words back but holding onto them kept her from slipping too far into the fantasy and reminded her to always do a safety check.
Unable to voice her feelings, Addie buried her hands in his hair and tried to convey the emotion through her lips. Damon accepted the substitution, kissing her back with just as much passion. She shifted under him, making her shirt raise slightly, reminding him of the deal she had offered.
"I didn't take off my shirt expecting you to reciprocate," he murmured, his lips skimming along her jaw.
"I know," she colored, suddenly very focused on drawing invisible lines that connected his shoulder blades with her fingernails. "I just..."
"You want me to take it off?" he finished when she didn't. He kissed her shoulder on either side of her white tank top.
Addie bit her lip and evasively answered, "I wouldn't be opposed to it."
"Mm-mm," objected Damon as he nudged up her shirt a few inches so he could nip at her hipbone. "It's a yes or no, all or nothing thing. It's not something that's happening unless you are 100% certain you want it and are comfortable."
She grabbed his shoulders and guided him back up. The weight of him against her and the feel of him pressing into her felt better than his teasing nibbles. Addie inhaled deeply and dug deep down to find the courage she needed. If she wanted to play these games with Damon Salvatore, she needed the confidence of Damon Salvatore. Or she at least needed to be able to fake it.
"I'm with myself in a bra every time I change, so let's say six times a day because of track practice and training to take on vampires. I've also been wearing one for about six years so I have had time to get use to the idea and image. I am 100% certain that I am 100% comfortable with myself in a bra and that I would be comfortable around you. The whole reason we are even having this discussion is because of your hang ups and what not. I mean, since when does a girl need to tell you to take her shirt off? Really, Damon, how many times have you stopped and had a discussion about this? I think you are uncomfortable and uncertain," Addie grinned smugly.
Damon scoffed as he knelt between her legs. Two could play if she was just going to be arrogant. He wasn't going to dwell on the point that he had probably started the conversation for a very valid reason that she had once again undermined with her Addie logic. He gave her a hooded, smoldering look and crooked his finger, motioning for her to sit up. He grinned predatorily at her as she pushed herself to resting on her hands.
"Closer," he taunted, tugging at the center of her shirt. He could hear her breath catch and her already speeding heart begin to race as she fully sat up. While he enjoyed being taller than her, Damon knew how much she disliked how significant the difference was because it made her feel as if he could use his height to intimidate her. He'd always been mindful of not abusing his height too much but this was a high-risk game of control she had chosen to play and towering over her as he knelt was a power play. He leaned in brushing the tip of his nose against hers, his lips ghosted against hers. Addie tried to properly kiss him but he pulled away, a teasing grin in place.
Frustrated, Addie returned this gesture with her own sly smirk and lightly scratched a path through the dark hair from his navel to the top of his jeans. Damon frowned slightly as he felt her toy with the button of his uncomfortably tight jeans. Some faint, tiny voice was screaming "bad idea, turn around." Her hair threaded through his fingers as he deeply kissed her, hoping to distract her. Damon prodded at her lips with the tip of his tongue, encouraging her to part them. He couldn't resist a soft sigh of relief when she did as he felt her hand run up his chest, messaging and exploring, while the other hand entangled roughly in his own hair. Addie broke away but continued to pepper him with kisses. His initial hiss of shock quickly gave way to long, low deep groan as she suddenly bit him sharply just behind behind where his ear and jaw connected. Her mouth felt so hot against his cool skin. She had definitely learned how to play rougher.
"Nice bluff," he heard quickly and quietly before she nipped at his Adam's apple.
What? He could feel her smiling against him; she was laughing at him. A ragged growl ripped through him, Pulling away he ordered, "Arms up."
"Huh?" Addie asked blankly, surprised by the sudden change in tone.
"Arms up," Damon repeated coolly.
She snorted, "Seriously? That's your approach?"
He rolled his eyes and sighed, "This is me giving you a chance to back out. Do you think I usually stop to talk?"
"You think I'm doubting this? Didn't we already establish that was you?"
"You established that by deflecting the doubt onto me, which you've just done again," Damon pointed out, pushing her back into a laying position gently. What the hell had he been thinking? He wasn't sure but he was fairly sure his brain hadn't been involved in the thought process.
Defensively she retorted, "So?"
He sighed as he stretched back out, hovering over her. "I invented and perfected the art of deflection, love. You do it when you're lying or you're uncomfortable. I don't know why you did it tonight but either reason is enough for me to put a stop to this." Damon smirked at the incredulous look she was giving him and propped his elbow next to her head, resting his head in his hand. He chuckled dryly, "Yes, I'm actually refusing to take a girl's clothes off." Reading the sudden fear and self-consciousness in her wide eyes he quickly added, "And it's not because I don't find her attractive because I really, really do. And it's not because I don't want to take her clothes off because I mostly definitely do." He flexed his hips into Addie's at her doubtful expression and stressed, "Trust me, I want to. At least 90% of me wants to. The other 10% is hung up on if you want this and the possible ramifications."
"I - ramifications?" she halted in confusion.
Damon shrugged, "You might think I'm in this only for something physical. It might turn into something purely physical; I have a much better track record with those relationships than emotional ones like what we have. We could be a lot better at a physical relationship and just choose the easy option. I really like this emotional thing we have going even though it can hurt like hell. You might not be ready and you could regret it or things could get awkward or you could get mad at me for not sticking to the rules we agreed to."
Blushing Addie mumbled, "So it's not because you think I'm too young or naive or innocent?"
He took a slow, deep breath as he chewed over his words. He didn't exactly understand why she was so sensitive about the terms when he meant them as positives and was only trying to protect her. "Well, the last time we had this conversation was over six months ago. You've grown up a bit, experienced some of the world and faced some things that no one could walk away 'innocent' from since then. I think, when you're ready, I won't feel like I'm corrupting you or scarring you for life if I take this," he hooked a finger under her tank and tugged at it, "off."
"What about more than the shirt?" she quietly asked, wrapping the end of his tie around her finger.
He shook his head quickly and stated firmly, "No, that's it."
"But-"
"No."
"Damon, be reasonable," she admonished.
Groaning, his head dropped to rest next to hers. "I am; you're not."
Addie snorted; she loved proving him wrong. Pointedly she asked, "When's the last time you had sex?"
One piercing blue eye popped open as he stared at her while she looked at him expectantly. After a tense moment he sharply retorted, "Why?"
"I'm making a point."
"I don't think I want to hear your point." He'd had enough Addie logic for one evening.
"You said I'm not being reasonable; I'm trying to prove I'm being completely rational. How long?" she insisted.
"Over six months."
"Seriously?" she said in surprise.
He frowned at her disapprovingly. "Do you really think I'd cheat on you?"
She shook her head slowly and admitted, "No but I figured with us being broken up for part of the summer…"
"Huh," Damon breathed in realization, "I suppose I could have... but I never had the desire to. I guess I knew it would really hurt you. Pissing you off with increased flirting with Elena was enough payback for you picking Klaus over me."
"So the last time you had sex was with Rose?" she checked.
"Yes. Do you have a point with my lack of sex?" he replied shortly, not wanting to continue the conversation.
"Can you even remember the last time you went six months without sex?" Addie challenged.
He nodded curtly. "Yes."
"Before you started having sex doesn't count."
"I figured that."
That piqued her interest. "When was it?"
"Why does it matter?" he scowled, rolling away from her.
Addie propped herself up on her elbow and watched him skeptically as he searched the bed for his shirt, found it, and began putting it on. He'd gone from hot to cold faster than she could keep up with. Something was wrong.
Fumbling with his buttons Damon mumbled bitterly, "If you're suggesting we have sex because I can't hold out or you think I'm going to leave you or cheat on you and find someone to fuck, you're very mistaken. I will have no problem waiting until both of us are ready."
That was reassuring and all but it didn't explain why he was suddenly so uptight. "Ok," Addie acknowledged before probing. "You've always been so open about your sex life with me. What so different about this?"
"Nothing," Damon lied, running his fingers through his hair; she'd already messed it up. "Perhaps I just realized I shouldn't be discussing such an expansive history with someone who doesn't even have one."
"Shouldn't you be sharing your wisdom?"
"You're wise enough." He was keenly aware that this was Addie's first time dating dating, doing anything at all. He'd been her first kiss. Damon wanted and was trying to be good to her and not burden her with the weight and intensity of his feelings, things neither one of them were prepared to feel.
"With no history. You get you're being a little contradictory, right?" she pointed out, growing even more suspicious.
He shook his head as he laid back down next to her and argued, "No. Your limited knowledge and experience is all you need to know."
Pouting she countered, "As my boyfriend and someone who loves me, I would think that you would want to expand my knowledge and experience.
"Nope. Truth is, as your boyfriend and someone who loves you, I don't want you to learn more because it's my role to teach you. My history is 150 years of fucked up, I don't want to be responsible for screwing you up," Damon confessed cryptically.
Addie sighed impatiently, "That's you thinking too highly of yourself again. You're not going to screw me up just like you're not going to corrupt me."
"You like when I'm rough enough to leave you with bruises," he muttered as he dug his nail into his finger until a bright red bubble of blood surface. Carefully he brought his finger to her lips and only continued once he felt her tongue swipe the blood away and the marks on her neck started to fade. "I'm pretty sure that's me having already screwed you up. Real question, what are you going to do when your boyfriend can't magic away the hickeys? I mean, you can't walk around with them so that means you can't get them. You're gonna have to relearn to view what you currently consider to be teasing to be satisfying because that's as far as you can go without leaving a mark."
"So, you think you'll set unrealistic sex expectations for any guy who follows in your footsteps?" she asked, trying hard not to laugh and biting the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.
"No! Well, I mean, I guess that could be one way of screwing you up. I don't know, Ads. My experiences haven't exactly been typical. As much as I could try to make sex normal for you, sex with a vampire just isn't average sex. And that's not always a good thing. You can ask your sister for advice on this if you don't believe me! As boring and vanilla as my brother is, he's still a vampire."
Addie took the pillow from under her head and dropped it on Damon's face. "First, don't ever mention my sister while discussing sex. We don't have the kind of relationship where I would ever go to her for sex advice. Second, are we just never going to have sex because it means crazy vampire sex? I don't get it. You've slept with a 10 million other girls."
He laughed humorlessly as he tucked the pillow under his head and rolled on his side to face her. "I can guarantee you the actual number is closer to 10,000 than 10 million. And you can't compare yourself to any of them. The most I've ever felt with anyone else before is lust and I didn't really give a damn about what happened to them. I love you and am very concerned about your future."
"Can we just be brutally blunt and open about this once and for all so we don't have to keep having this discussion?" she pleaded. "I feel like you know exactly why you don't want to sleep with me but you just aren't telling me the whole truth and I don't know why."
His fingers trailed along her jaw as he finished tucking a strand of blue hair behind her ear. He considered her carefully before deciding, "Alright. Everything I've said has been true. There are some things I've hinted at but I haven't expressly told you, though."
"Like?" she prompted after he was quiet for several long moments.
"You're a virgin," he admitted, trying to sound casual and non accusatory. "I've never exactly had to face that challenge before, not that I ever would have cared. But I love you and I care very much. Do you know what your first kiss was because I'm not exactly sure which one you count. There was the one that took you by surprise, the one you initiated, the redo, and the one that you were finally ready for and they were all labeled as your first kiss at one point. I don't want that kind of doubt or questioning surrounding your first time. I want you to be completely ready and for it to be everything you dream of and I want it to be perfect. Sex is amazing and you deserve a great first impression of it."
"Well, I can't change the fact that I'm a virgin without cheating on you bu-"
"Don't do that."
"I'd never do that," reassured Addie, giving him a quick, chaste kiss. "But you should know that I already have very strong opinions on this topic. I never gave my first kiss much consideration and then you just kind of suddenly swooped in. However, once we had been going out for a while I figured I should probably give sex some thought so I wouldn't be caught off guard again. I've decided that at this point I'm not physically comfortable enough with you for sex yet; I'd feel too shy and self-conscious to be into it. I'm certain I want the experience to be with you, though. If it helps, my expectations aren't that high, even with your reputation preceding you. I've heard so many first time horror stories that the bar is set pretty low."
Wrapping his arm around her waist he pulled her closer to him and kissed her forehead. He gave a dramatic sigh, "That is such a big relief. Not. I know how awesome it can be and I have to do everything I can to make sure you know as well. I gotta put on my A game, make sure you're comfortable, make sure the timing, the setting, the build up, all that is perfect It's a lot of pressure."
"It doesn't have to be planned and organized; that just puts more pressure on both of us. Let the moment come naturally. Is that all you're worried about?" He made a noncommittal noise and gave a small shrug as his cheeks colored slightly. Addie's eyebrows raised in surprise. An embarrassed Damon was always a shock. "You promised honesty," she said coaxingly.
Damon groaned and buried his face between her neck and shoulder to escape her stare. Insecurely he mumbled, "I've only ever had sex. I've never made love."
Addie hesitated, "Ok, um, my knowledge is less than you think because I thought the two meant the same thing."
"No. When you make love there's, you know, love involved. I've never had that kind of love until now. But I don't want to be the only one making love. I don't want this to just be sex for you," he explained slowly and haltingly.
A hard lump formed in her throat. She tried to swallow but her mouth was dry. He had to know that it wouldn't just be sex for her either. "What are you getting at, Damon?"
He gently kissed her neck before pulling away and looking her in the eye. "Nothing happens until you can tell me you love me."
She grimaced, "Why do I get the feeling that this is just a way to extort those words out of me?"
"Because you're paranoid?"
"Damon!"
"What?! You have all the -"
A pounding on the door leading to the bathroom interrupted them.
Grinning broadly Addie placed a finger against his lips and whispered conspiratorially, "If we ignore her she'll go away." Then her fingers were slipping into his hair and pulling him in until their lips met in the lightest, most teasing of touch. He kept trying for a more intimate kiss but she continued to taunt him with ghosting brushes of her lips. Elena paused in her rapping on the door and called out her sister. Addie gave Damon an apologetic smile as she courteously covered his exposed ear.
"Just FYI, the knocking is louder than your voice. My lack of a response is a sign of me ignoring you," she yelled back.
"So that's a no on carpooling to Caroline's?" Elena huffed.
"Depends. Are you just going to try and get Damon to compel me into whatever you want?"
"Addie, if you would just give me a chance to-"
"There is no explanation for taking away someone's choice! Go on your own. Just like you decided to make the make the decision about Jeremy, on your own." Addie snapped back, knowing that would effectively send her sister away. She groaned, curling up against Damon for comfort. Playing with the end of his tie she wondered, "Do you have to go to that thing tonight? Can't we both skip our things and just stay here and make out?"
Damon frowned as he rested his chin on top of her head. He hated denying her anything, especially when they had been on the outs for so long but he had to. "With my brother functioning on crazy and Klaus willing to kill whoever to get his coffins back I, unfortunately, do need to attend this meeting and make sure the council are blissfully unaware of the supervillain showdown about to unfold."
"Shame."
"Indeed. I found out that Klaus told Stefan he could either let me make an attack on Klaus' life and lose mine if I succeeded or Stefan could guarantee the safety of both my life and Klaus'."
"So?"
"He chose to save my life; that's a sign of his humanity," Damon declared as if it were plainly obvious.
Not that she wanted to be the pessimist but Addie had to disagree. This wasn't proof that Stefan wasn't just taking control of his own fate into his own hands. She looked up to Damon, ready to point this out when she saw the faint glimmer of hope in his eyes; it was such a contrast to the cold, heartless expression he had bore when he believed Stefan to have betrayed him. There was no way she could bring herself to crash that optimism. Holding in a heavy sigh she tucked her head back under his chin as she traced the stripes on his tie.
"I'm confused," she said eventually, knowing he was expecting some kind of response. "You say that his humanity is on but he wouldn't give back the coffins when Klaus nearly killed my brother. That doesn't sound like the actions of Stefan with his humanity on, even in ripper mode."
"Yeah, well he's now also willing to risk my life so he can play offense and order Klaus' hybrids out of town."
"What?" Addie snapped, her head whipping up so fast she hit Damon under the chin, making him his as his teeth clashed together. "Sorry!" she squealed, gently rubbing at the area.
He tightened the arm around her and gave her when of his crooked, half smiles.. "It's fine. I already can't feel it," he reassured her. Still she looked worry and he didn't think it had to do with the headbutt. "I'm fine; I'm not in any more danger than usual. Stefan's just… he thinks Klaus willing to lose his family and defiance to take commands from him and simply kill people Stefan cares about in return is all a bluff. Problem is that Stefan is calling his own shots and he's willing to lose everything if he's wrong in calling Klaus' bluff, I think."
"So he saved your life to risk it? And you wanna argue his humanity on?" Addie had to remind herself to keep the humm of disapproval internal.
"That's just it, I don't think it's on or off," Damon uttered distractedly as he tried to think of a way to explain his idea.
Hearing a mystical quality in his voice she moved to look him in the eye, gently resting her hand on his face. As if to a two-year-old she slowly explained, "It's either one or the other, hun. It doesn't just disappear."
A warmth spread through him at the little term of endearment. It was the fourth time she had called him that. It didn't matter that the context was slightly patronizing. She had a valid point; she just didn't know everything like she thought she did.
"It's still there but the on/off switch is more of a dimmer control," he explained.
"Because with every other vampire it's all or nothing but we know how good Stefan is with that thing called moderation that he must be somewhere in the middle?" Addie retorted, unable to control rolling her eyes.
"No, I think it's because of his age, like his vampire age. I'm wondering if there is a thing like vampire puberty or maturity. I don't know. Something where you reach like the full-fledge vampire status," he reflected aloud, not really taking what she was saying to heart.
"Oh, God," Addie muttered as she pulled away from him and pushed a hand through her hair. "I seriously hate this supernatural shit. Vampires are immortal and don't age. Oh, wait. They do! And they go through fucking vampire puberty after about 150 years! Do you hear how ridiculous this sounds? Please tell me this is something you are completely pulling out of your ass because you need something to explain your brother's behavior."
Damon rested himself on his elbow and looked down at her. After a moment he partially conceded, "I might be doing that but there are sources that I'm coming up with this idea from. The first time I slept with Rose I was convinced that I cared too much about.…" He trailed off at her cold glare. There were debating viewpoints on if he had cheat in that particular situation since they never officially said they were together. He decided to gloss over the incident, she didn't need to know the details. "Cut to the point and Rose admitted the humanity switch was just a lie told to younger vampires. You can flip it when you're young and it's all too much but you eventually have to learn how to pretend not to care because humanity will come shoving its way in."
"And you've planned your whole 'vampire puberty' theory around what another one of your girls has said?" she asked coolly, the judgement clear in her voice.
"Not entirely, no," he said defensively. "I've been debating about if I could shut off my humanity."
"Have you really been considering that?" she whispered in alarm.
"No, I've just been wondering if I could. Right now I love you so much that it completely outweighs any negative feelings, meaning I would never have a reason to shut out my humanity. I can't think of a single situation where my love for you doesn't win. All the worst case scenarios I come up with and I don't think I can shut out my humanity," Damon admitted helplessly.
Addie's lips pursed as she refrained from blurting the first thing that came to her mind. He was blinded by emotions and just needed to see reason. "Guilt made you turn it off before. What's the guiltiest thing you could possibly do?"
Without any thought or hesitation he answered, "Being responsible for your death, in which case I have to suffer through the guilt and pain to keep the memory of you and what we have alive."
"Yeah but wouldn't all the guilt and pain get too cumbersome," she pushed.
"Oh, I would be a completely unfunctional 24/7 drunk to cope with that. It won't be easy but I will always want to remember how I feel now with you, even if I don't deserve to," he admitted.
"Alright. Fine. Whatever. So you're convinced you've reached the point where you can't just flick the switch on your humanity?" Addie sighed in exasperation. This was ridiculous
"Well I'm sure as hell not going to try and check on the off chance that I'm wrong," he scoffed, "but I'm not convinced I could do it. I might be able to do it to some degree but I know I can't completely shut out the ways I feel about you."
"And this is, what? Vampire puberty? You're an adult vampire when you can't flip the switch?"Addie challenged, exhaling loudly.
"Not an adult, I mean, I'm an adult now. Then you have vampires who are turned at 14-years and are trapped in that mindset and mentality and they're never really an adult. Like I said, maybe a point where you become a full vampire. Maybe the humanity switch is just a coping mechanism for new vampires to adjust to all the heightened emotions," he rambled.
"Ok," she drawled to herself as she pushed Damon onto his back. Taking his face between her hands she rested her forehead against his as she stared into his surprised, bright eyes. "Damon, I care more about you than I ever thought was possible. It scares me the way I feel about you. Whatever is important to you is important to me. That's why I'll support you and agree with you if you need to say Stefan's humanity is on a dimmer switch. I will trust you on that. Understand?" He nodded mutely and she couldn't resist giving him a long kiss, unsure if she was stalling or reassuring him.
"You really are gorgeous," Addie murmured to herself. The rare and striking combination of his black hair with light blue eyes and angular features made him her own dark haired Roman deity, Apollo. Lover of many with the power to heal or incite a plague and even in a strange way, his daylight ring made him a god of the sun among his kind.
Damon raised a curious eyebrow at her as she studied him with contemplation. He knew he wanted to say something but he was fairly sure that wasn't it. His hands tucked behind his head as he gave her a wink and arrogantly quipped, "I know." It did make his heart beat a little faster to hear it from her, though. "Weren't you making a point before being distracted by amazing looks? I know how hard it can be for you to keep focus."
"And just like that your attractiveness drops 1000 points. You should really consider becoming a mute."
"When you have a million points you can afford to lose a thousand." He frowned as she looked away from him. There was definitely something on her mind. More gently he cajoled, "Come on, Ads. Open and honest. What do you want to tell me?"
She rolled away from him and onto her back with a heavy sigh. "I want to support you, Damon. I do," Addie insisted, curling her hand around his bicep since his hand was out of reach. "I just… You have to realize how far I've come from marking all the scientific inaccuracies in Dracula to accepting you and your world."
"It's impressive," he acknowledged, kissing the back of her hand.
"It's been hard," she admitted. "Now, I've been in and out of therapy since I was eight for my issues and what I've learned is that human psychology is not an exact science. If it was, I could tolerate feeling crazy about ten times better or, in a perfect world, there'd be a cure. At least there have been scientific experiments on anxiety and depression and mania and I have some empirical evidence to create some facts." Addie exhaled slowly as she ran her hand through her hair.
Damon groaned in understanding; he should have been more considerate. He reached out to her and was grateful when she curled up into his side. His lips brushed the top of her head apologetically as he confirmed, "Unfounded theories on vampire development and psychology that have no scientific basis are just too much for you to handle."
"I'm sorry," whispered Addie. "I'll go along with whatever you believe but I can't go into the theory of why. I need sense and logic. I've accept the tangible of the supernatural world without reason but I don't think I can do much more than that."
He lifted her chin with a single finger and softly kissed her, catching her bottom lip between his. It was uninhabited and utterly sincere. "You're amazing and you have nothing to be sorry for," he whispered. "I'm glad you told me the truth. Sometimes I forget that this isn't a world you wanted into."
"But I chose you and I kinda figured it was a package deal," she shrugged, giving him a small grin. "I just need to keep my limits for the sake of my sanity. This supernatural world is one I have to accept and deal with if I want to be with you. I really, really want to be with you, Damon.
"Really?"
"Really. We're going to figure out what to do about your brother and Klaus together, ok?"
He shifted uncomfortably beneath her gaze; it wasn't a question. She wanted to be treated as his equal. Instinct always made him jump to protect her, though. And their approaches to the situation were completely different. And he still hadn't told her where the coffins were nor did he plan to.
"I won't act on something without discussing it with you first. If you truly believe it to be wrong we'll discuss it and come up with something else," Damon offered in compromise. "But know I'm always going to put your safety first."
Addie realized he wasn't giving her an exact agreement but it was progress that he agree to talk to her without acting and keeping her in the dark. It was the best she was going to get from him. "Alright," she nodded.
"Good," he relaxed, pressing a kiss to her temple.
After a few moments of silence, "So, when did you go six months without sex."
"Seriously?" groaned Damon.
"Why don't you want to talk about it?" pressed Addie.
"Why do you want to know about it?"
"Mostly because you won't talk about it."
He sighed, holding her tighter as she tried to pull away from him, "Just because you're curious doesn't mean you actually want the truth."
"I always want the truth with you, even if I'm not going it like it."
"Fine," Damon grumbled. "I thought I was madly in love with Katherine after I turned and I initially had every intention of waiting for her."
Addie tensed; she should have figured it had something to do with Katherine. "How long did you wait?"
"Almost fifty years."
"What changed?"
"I met a vampire named Sage and she showed me that I was actually being a very bad vampire. I wasn't embracing the fun parts of being a vampire," he shrugged. "I became what you'd consider bad after that. Prior to that I was a halfway responsible guy."
"Were you involved with her?" she asked quietly.
After a moment Damon tensely answered, "She was a friend, Ads."
Casually she remarked, "Rose was a friend."
"It's just sex," he replied warily. "Nondiscriminatory, meaningless, fun sex. I've never had anything compared to what I have with you."
"I don't care who've you slept with," Addie replied tersely.
He snorted, "Really? Because it sounds like you do."
"Fine. I care about the ones you've had relationships, friendships with," she admitted. "I don't buy the whole friends with benefits thing. And of course I'm jealous of Katherine."
Damon exhaled slowly. "It's always just been a friends with benefits thing though. Out of all my fucking issues you don't think I'm able to separate my emotions from my body? I can get the jealousy over Katherine; I was fooled into blindly lusting for her and trusting her. You, more than anyone, know that I am completely over her though."
"I know; it's just hard. Wouldn't you be jealous over other guys I've been with?"
"I'd be extremely jealous," he growled, burying his face in the crook of her neck, gently peppering it with kisses. "You'd actually have feelings about whoever you hooked up with. Your inexperience is a blessing and a curse." Wanting a distraction from such a heavy topic his fingers sneaked under her tanktop at the sides, tickling, eliciting a beautiful giggle as she squirmed under his ministrations.
A/N: I'm not really happy with this chapter but, as someone pointed out, I did miss my weekly update. Things have been crazy between moving to a new state (no more living on a street with the name Damon in it - hopefully that won't effect my muse) and starting a new job.
A couple of people were interested in Addie and Damon's physical relationship and when something more was going to happen. They made some progress here but in the end there's still things going through both their minds that they need to work out first.
Thank you everyone so much for reading, especially to those of you who comment - this chapter is for you guys.