CHAPTER 2: Amplification (Season 4, episode 24)

Character(s): Reid, JJ

"Secrets are made to be found out with time."-Charles Sanford.

Reid sat on his couch, perusing the stapled papers. But this time, he did so at half his normal reading speed. He wanted to make sure he'd covered every last little detail.

His lips pressed into a firm, satisfied expression. It all looked perfect. He proceeded to fold the papers up, making sure they were neat and crisp, and went off in search of the other item he needed.

The CD was tucked away deep inside Reid's messenger bag. He furtively pulled the recording out, clutching it close to his chest, as though he half expected someone from the Bureau to bust in and demand it back at any moment. Moving over to his desk, he flipped on his desk light and ruffled through his things momentarily before letting out a tiny, "A-ha!"

An empty envelope, complete with stamp and address already set up, lay on the desk under a small pile of papers. Picking it up, Reid stood for a moment, hesitating slightly, his index finger tapping the edge of the manila packaging. Whatever momentary question had grabbed him seemed to float away just as quickly, however, and he blinked himself out of his thoughts. Shaking his head, he slipped the paper and CD into the envelope, taking great care to make sure the contents were properly sealed inside.

The light illuminated Reid's watch, informing him it was 11:45 pm. Turning off both the desk and side table lamps, envelope still in hand, he shuffled towards his room and straight for his closet. There was one more thing he had to do. He fumbled around on the top shelf for a moment before his hands clamped onto an old shoe box, pulling it down.

Whenever Reid wrote his mom and told her of his life, yes, he'd told her about his teammates, and the cases they worked. She even knew that he'd been put in danger – held hostage, beaten up, tortured, drugged… Reid couldn't help but give a grim smirk as he mentally ran down the list of everything he'd been through. It would be almost comical, his constant brushes with death, if it weren't for the fact that those "brushes" seemed to get increasingly intense and horrifying.

His mom never knew, though, just how personally some of those cases had affected him. Sometimes, when Reid was feeling particularly despondent, he'd tell his mom he was "in trouble". "Struggling." "Having nightmares." All of which was true on some level. But he never got too specific, for fear of how she'd react, mostly. She was already dealing with enough problems, after all.

But all of that information was in the envelope that now rested inside that box, alongside other letters, messages, and little trinkets for everyone else Reid knew and cared about, "just in case" something ever happened to him on the job. He'd come up with the idea after the Hankel scare, when he found himself holding onto a highlighted copy of the Bible passage that he had misquoted to tip off his teammates. The contents slowly built up from there. And now, after the terrifying events with the anthrax scare that had made him almost deathly sick, he needed to add to the box once again.

He never told anyone about the container, though. He knew that if, heaven forbid, anything ever did happen to him in the line of duty, his friends would find it when they came to help clear out his things. They would take what was left for them, and then they would send that envelope on to her. She would finally know every last little thing. And now she would be able to still hear his voice as well. He made a mental note to put in a little thank-you card and message to Garcia for her help.

Closing the lid, Reid gingerly set the box back up in its hiding place. As he finally crawled into bed, he checked to make sure the letter he actually did plan to mail to his mom the next day was resting on the nightstand. Settling in, he found himself relishing each deep breath he took as he drifted off to sleep.

Henry's happy squeal brought JJ out of her reverie. She looked down, smiling as her son gazed up at her, his face lit up, his arms outstretched. Chuckling, she stopped for a moment to hand him a toy and kiss his forehead, cooing at him a bit, before continuing on.

Just relax. It's been a month. You're fine now. He's been caught.

But JJ found herself glancing around nervously anyway.

She hated this. It was bad enough her job had long ago made her increasingly suspicious of people at large. It was bad enough she found herself discussing disturbing topics and using words and phrases she never wanted to say aloud (it was becoming scary how easily she could rattle off the words "sexual assault" when talking to her teammates)

But now that she had Henry, not only did the suspicions run deeper, and the vocabulary get even more unsettling, but she also found herself becoming even more empathetic towards crimes involving parents and children.

She also noticed herself getting angry a lot more easily, too. Normally the picture of her son that sat on her desk would give her much needed peaceful, calming feelings and thoughts to last throughout each workday. But during the anthrax scare, anytime she looked at the photo, all she felt was fear and dread instead.

You can't let them control you. If you do, they win. She'd heard some variation of this advice from Hotch many times in the past, and knew that he was right, just as she knew (despite breaking it) that his rule about not calling home to warn loved ones was ultimately right.

Still, JJ couldn't help but grip the stroller a little bit tighter, her head cautiously moving back and forth, as she continued to walk through the park.

"Fear is contagious. You can catch it."-Neil Gaiman

Reviews are welcome!