Saturday, December 26th, 1953
11:15 a.m.
Ham was in the oven, and had been since Carol woke up that morning. She had spent the early morning hours preparing a brown sugar and pineapple glaze; she'd bought so much pineapple that Therese knew they'd be eating it for a week or more. They could have had turkey, but why bother with turkey when it had just been served at Thanksgiving, Therese pointed out. Besides, there was always the chance - strong chance - of Carol overcooking turkey, which, in all honesty, was the real truth of matter. Typically, she wouldn't have cared about overcooking the turkey. Today though, there was no room for error.
Rindy was coming over. Staying over for one night while Harge attended a function in the city the day after Christmas. The party was going to run late and he said dropping Rindy with Carol for the night would be the easiest thing to do, so he could pick her up in the afternoon on Sunday.
Carol was a nervous wreck. It was the first time that Rindy would be coming to the apartment and her first time seeing Therese since last Christmas. The apartment was spotless, but homey and warmed by the central fireplace in the living room. Therese made up the bed in the guest room and helped Carol tidy up every corner of the apartment. With Rindy coming, they decided to forego celebrating Christmas until the next day when Rindy would be there. Neither one of them had ever celebrated Christmas Day by doing laundry, eating liverwurst sandwiches, and drinking pop like it was any other day of the week.
Therese made herself scarce when the doorbell rang, keeping herself busy by folding and putting away clothes in the bedroom she and Carol shared. Carol gave Rindy a quick tour of the apartment to show her where everything was, including implicit instructions to not go out onto the balcony without her or Therese.
Rindy carried her suitcase into the guest room where she stopped in the doorway upon seeing Therese open the curtains.
"Hi." she shyly said.
"Hi, Rindy. Do you remember me?"
"You play the piano really well."
Therese smiled and took the suitcase from Rindy, placing it on the bed. "Let me take your coat." she offered and held out her arms to take it. Rindy handed it to Therese, who in turn hung it up in the closet. Carol then took the suitcase from the bed to place on the desk and turned back to watch Rindy look around the room.
"You'll be sleeping here, snowflake."
"Okay."
"And I will be right next door if you need anything." Therese looked at Carol, wondering if she should say anything about her place in this apartment. It wasn't the time to be worried about that sort of thing. Carol sensed the apprehension from Therese and right away asked, "You must want to open presents, don't you?"
"Yes!" Rindy enthusiastically chimed, running into the living room.
Carol took a deep breath before following the little girl into the other room. Therese caught the look on her face and pulled her back into the room, away from Rindy. "Hey. You're doing great." Therese placed a hand up around the back of Carol's head as she angled her toward her for a kiss. "She loves you. I love you."
With a deep sigh and kiss to Therese's forehead, Carol shook her head and remarked, "You're right. You're always right."
The three sat in the living room, by the cozy fire and the illuminated Christmas tree with only a couple presents remaining to be opened. Rindy loved all the items from her stocking plus the new rabbit fur hat and muff that she had been given. For this five-year old, it was incredibly exciting to have two Christmases.
"This one is from Therese." Carol said, handing the box to her daughter seated by the tree.
She shook the box and heard a deep thud from side to side as she shook. "What is it?"
"Open it and find out, sweet pea."
Rindy tore into the wrapping, eagerly lifted the lid of the box, and pulled out a beautiful honey-colored teddy bear with the softest mohair fur. The little bear had a hand-stitched nose, button eyes, and a curious little smile on its face.
"A teddy bear!" Rindy gave the bear a hug and posed the stuffed animal in a seated position right on her lap. She put her arms around the bear and pressed it up against her. "Thank you, Therese."
Therese smiled, extremely pleased with herself for picking out something that the little girl would like. She had been so worried Rindy wouldn't like it. There were also dolls, but at least a bear was easily washable and, in her opinion, far less annoying than a doll that cries and wets itself. She never had a doll when she little, never had a teddy bear either. The bear seemed far more comforting to her; furry, cuddly, and far warmer than plastic or porcelain could ever be. A bear was something she would want, aside from a train set, when she was little. She couldn't hold a train in arms when she was alone at night, but a teddy bear would always be there to accompany Rindy.
"I - " Carol immediately corrected herself, "- we have one more very, very special present for you, snowflake." Rindy looked up at her mother from the floor where she sat on a pile of wrapping paper and ribbons that easily covered her legs that now started to eagerly sway back and forth at the prospect of another present.
"That's mine too?" she eagerly asked.
"Uh huh." Carol nodded and gestured for her to get it from under the tree. Rindy tottered over to the tree and grasped the large flat item, trying to pull it towards her. Some of the wrapping snagged itself on the tree, loudly ripping some of the green and gold paper in the process. Therese heard the faint "oh no" that fell from Rindy's lips and quickly stepped in to help. "I got it, Rindy," she said as she crawled down low to free the present for her. Therese pushed it forward so it was within the little girl's reach and she could do the final pull toward her on her own. Carol warmed when she saw Therese help Rindy, wriggling around on her stomach to get the present out from its precarious location.
The little girl eagerly tugged at it, completely overwhelmed by the size of the packaging and curious what could be inside. "Thank you." she grinned. Once she sat back down, she urgently started peeling away at the paper of her mammoth present. Rindy unwrapped the train set with its oval track, station, and locomotive. Her mouth hung open as she inspected every aspect of the train set. "A train set, Mommy, it's a train set. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"It's Therese you should thank. She picked it out."
Therese sat back to look on, trying to emotionally distance herself from this moment by focusing on the present. It was the first time she had seen the train set not as part of a store display or simply boxed up in the storeroom. Ever since Carol moved into the apartment, the train set sat wrapped on the floor of the hallway closet, same paper and same trimmings as that night Therese had gone to her old house in Ridgewood. Every time either of them opened the closet door, there was the item that brought them together. The first time she'd seen Carol was by the elevator, looking at the train display. Now, Carol was finally gifting the present to her daughter who she loved so much.
Once they were done opening presents, Therese helped Rindy display the train set by the Christmas tree while Carol busied herself in the kitchen. She showed her how to connect the different tracks, assemble the buildings, and display the individual figures. "You know an awful lot about trains." Rindy pointedly said. "How come?"
"Oh, I like to read. And I used to get to play with them every day."
"You got to play with them every day?" Rindy exclaimed, incredulous that someone as old as Therese could actually play with trains every single day. Therese nodded. "Wow!"
Carol peered into the living room and saw the two playing with the train set by the Christmas tree. She almost didn't want to break up the merriment, but she had already reheated dinner one time and didn't want to go through the hassle of doing it again. The three of them went into the dining room and sat down to their Christmas dinner.
1:25 p.m.
Rindy was so thrilled by her new train set and teddy bear, she tuckered herself out and walked over to her mother rubbing her eyes. Carol recognized the sleepiness in her daughter's eyes and picked her up to carry her into the guest room to take a nap. Rindy circled her arms around Carol's neck and rested her head against her shoulder as she was carried into the bedroom. Carol carefully removed her shoes before tucking her in, planting a long kiss to the little girl's forehead. She sat on the bed for a moment watching her daughter fall asleep. As she got up to leave, Carol paused to see her darling Therese standing in the doorway with Rindy's new teddy bear. She held it out for Carol to take, which she then tucked beneath Rindy's left arm. The sleeping girl made a brief noise and pulled the bear tighter to her under her chin.
They did a quick cleanup of the paper and ribbons, glasses and plates, and coloring books and crayons before sitting down together on the couch by the fireplace. They sat not touching, on opposite ends, listening to the roar of the burning logs. There was a touch of sadness in Carol's eye as she tacitly sat. After too much complacency and quiet, Therese saw her look around the room, no doubt scanning for her nearest cigarette box, or perhaps even bottle of whiskey - if there was one left to be found.
"No, don't." she implored, reaching for Carol's hand. She had that look of wanting to escape, wanting release and distraction, but she needed to be there and be focused. Therese pulled her to her side of the couch, and encouraged her to lie down with her head in her lap. Carol's feet hung over the edge, too tall to fully lie down with the two of them on the couch. Instead, she compacted her frame onto the cushions, letting her right knee keep her propped up on her side. Arms quickly found Carol's shoulders and Therese circled her, closing the gap with interlocked fingers. She slumped against the back of the couch to rest her head as Carol soon nodded off in her lap to the sounds of the crackling fire and the smell of Therese's perfume.
11:10 p.m.
Therese sat out on the balcony, bundled up in her wool coat and scarf, casually smoking a cigarette. The air was frosty, the sky clear, and the street below still in a post-Christmas haze, one of those nights where it seemed no one else was in this city of more than seven-and-a-half million. It was nearly bedtime, rather she knew she shouldn't stay up too late. With the addition of a small child in the house, Therese knew she would most likely be awake very early in the morning because Carol would also be up just as early to make breakfast and get Rindy ready for their museum outing.
It was an exhausting, but memorable day. After Rindy was ushered off to bed around seven, Therese and Carol stayed up quietly listening to the radio and talking. She was ecstatic, Therese noticed, the happiest she had seen her in weeks. Anxious, nonetheless very pleased to have a couple days with her daughter. All the waiting and anxiousness took its toll, and at Therese's suggestion, Carol took a shower and was in bed before nine.
By herself, Therese aimlessly sat in the living room, listening to music, drinking a beer, waiting for the fire to die down. She still felt restless and decided to take the opportunity to shut herself away in her makeshift darkroom where she wouldn't be missed to develop the day's roll of film.
As she developed the photos, she couldn't help but smile at the precious images she captured during the day. At Carol's request, she took countless photos of Rindy and Carol together doing the simplest of tasks: mashing potatoes, opening presents, setting the table, dancing around the living room.
The photos came out remarkably well, especially the endearing photo of Carol and Rindy laughing and looking at one another with their noses pressed together. She produced two prints of that; hopefully with one to frame and give to Rindy to take home with her and one for Carol to put up in their bedroom.
Therese couldn't sleep, even though she knew very well that she should go to bed. Nights like these, cold nights when Carol went to bed before her, she would stay up and make herself a glass of warm milk. Carol never liked it and would usually burn it when she made some, but for Therese it was a familiar and relaxing comfort. Therese found a small saucepan in the cupboard and poured some milk from the glass bottle into the pan on the stove. She kept an eye on the milk as to not burn it or let a skin develop on top.
"Mommy?" came a small voice from outside the kitchen. Therese peeked out from behind the swinging kitchen door to see Rindy in her nightgown wandering into the dark living room.
"She's in bed." Therese answered in a low voice.
"Oh." Rindy looked disappointed and stood on the wood floor with her bare feet, shifting from foot to foot. Therese looked down, immediately noticing she had on no slippers or robe - probably forgotten to be packed in her overnight bag by Harge, or more likely, by the housekeeper. Her small feet were probably cold standing there, so Therese encouraged her to stand in the kitchen on the rug by the sink. Rindy stood on tiptoe to see what was up on the counter and saw one tumbler. "I can't sleep."
Therese thought for a second and glanced back down to Rindy. "Would you like some warm milk? I was just heating some up for myself."
Rindy nodded her head.
"It's almost done." Therese shyly looked back to the little girl, waiting for the milk to fully warm. She pulled an extra glass from the cupboard and set it next to hers on the countertop. Since she would be sharing with Rindy, Therese changed her mind about the length of time she kept the saucepan on and swiftly removed it from the burner then turned off the stove. She didn't want the liquid to be too hot for Rindy to drink. Therese poured equal parts into the two glasses and passed one of them to Rindy. "Careful, it's warm."
"Thank you." Rindy grasped the glass from Therese and tested the milk to see if it was too warm. Therese also tested hers to make sure it wasn't too warm to drink. Perfect temperature, she thought as she took a sip. The two drank their warm milk together in the kitchen, standing in perfect silence on the small rug in front of the sink. Rindy finished hers first, holding out the empty glass for Therese to take. Therese finished her own drink and put the glasses in the sink, adding some water to each one so that there wouldn't be a milk ring around the bottom in the morning.
Therese held out her hand to Rindy to lead her back to bed. She eagerly took Therese's hand and walked with her down the hallway. Once in the bedroom, Rindy pounced onto the bed and inched her way under the covers before Therese could even switch on the bedside lamp. Therese sat on the edge of the bed while Rindy settled in.
"You know what else I do when I can't sleep?" uttered Therese.
"What?" Rindy whispered.
Therese leaned in and picked up the bear next to Rindy's pillow. "I grab my teddy bear and cuddle her really, really, really hard."
"You have a bear too?"
"I do." Therese smiled. She handed the bear to Rindy as she tucked her in again, this time with her teddy bear snug safely under the covers.
"May I see her?"
"She's asleep in the other room." Therese fluffed the edges of Rindy's pillow and smoothed out any creases. "I don't wouldn't want to wake her."
Rindy nodded her head, definitely agreeing it wouldn't be a good idea to wake up Therese's bear. "Do you think you can go back to sleep now?"
"Yes!" Rindy tightly held onto her teddy bear and shut her eyes. Therese checked the blankets one more time before switched off the bedside light and shut the bedroom door.
Therese did a final check of the apartment before heading off to bed herself, double checking the front door locks, ensuring the balcony door was firmly shut, turning off the light in the kitchen, unplugging the Christmas lights. She didn't want to go to bed, she still felt so awake after a day of so much excitement. Regardless, she had to be up early in the morning to help Carol with Rindy and breakfast and all the things that come from caring for a small child. She pushed down on the handle of the bedroom door as gently as possible to not rouse Carol. Sometimes, the door squeaked and made the biggest racket that would rouse either of them from their sleep. Luckily, this wasn't one of those nights.
As she walked into the bedroom, Therese saw Carol sleeping curled up on her side and clinging to Therese's pillow as she usually did when she wasn't in bed yet. She stood at the foot of the bed for a moment, watching her sleep. Therese began to undress, tossing her dirty clothing into the hamper in the closet, but then realized that with Rindy in the apartment, she needed to wear something to bed. It had been a good while since she wore any kind of clothes to bed. Quickly peeking out from the bedroom door, Therese swiftly walked to the Christmas tree and reached for one of the boxes still resting beneath it. She removed the flannel pajamas that Carol had given her for Christmas, immediately pulled them on, and scurried back to the warmth of their bedroom.
Therese pulled back the covers and climbed into bed. Before she could fully lie down, she pried her pillow from Carol's grasp, waking her up and eliciting a whimper at the loss of contact. Carol flipped over onto her other side and made room for Therese. She adjusted the pillow so it rested next to Carol's and whispered, "I'm right here."
Wedging one arm underneath Carol's neck and wrapping the other around her waist, Therese pressed Carol flush with her body and rested her chin on her shoulder. Therese tightly held onto Carol and shut her eyes.
When Carol awoke the next morning, she smiled as she observed the two milk glasses in the kitchen sink.