My Tourniquet

|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|CHAPTER 16|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|

Capital City, Orb, Spring CE 74:

Lacus could hardly focus on her research paper. Her mind was turning every which way but never around the founding of Orb like her paper was supposed to reflect. She was half tempted to plead with her boyfriend to help her out. But then again, it was that boyfriend that occupied the better part of her brain.

Things had been going well since the Winter Ball and through New Years. Her father hosted a party for the New Year which included her new friends. The band had originally planned on spending it at their hangout at the Nest but decided last minute they would attend. The Clynes' party was definitely more friend and family orientated than socialite heaven so there was little decorum as they enjoyed music, company, and games. At first they were afraid that Paul and Dave would do something absolutely and characteristically ridiculous. All they did, besides joke and tease, was set off popping fire crackers behind someone or dump confetti on another. Em was there with Olivia and the two girls who had a blast. Amy even had fun without raising her voice in malice, so long as Cagalli stayed away from her.

It wasn't until nearly 2 in the morning they finally ended the party and went to bed. Aside from the band the rest of the guests went home. Kira and his friends couldn't until the ferry was running again and so were invited to stay the night in some spare rooms. In a rare show of maturity the guys managed to be up early enough to help with some of the clean up. Or maybe it had something to do with Kira and Amy glaring ominously at them. Either way they behaved.

The time following that had been blurred with school and decision making. The band was set with their nearby future with their music and college. Lacus and her circle were beginning to sort through several options for college. Athrun was being the daring of the bunch in considering a university in Europe. Lacus wanted badly to pursue her music, but it might never come true. Teaching would be fun and perfect for her. Maybe Kira had some insight since he knew her.

"I have this feeling the founding of Orb had nothing to do with swirls and hearts," Lorene's teasing voice broke into her thoughts. Lacus rightfully blushed and put her pencil down.

"Right."

Her step-mother laughed softly. "You know, Kira's going to be around longer than your History grade if you don't focus."

That was her hope, too.

"This came in for you," her stepmother added, handing her an envelope. "Kira coming over?"

Lacus glanced at the clock and realized it was nearly four in the afternoon, when Kira said he'd come by.

"Yes," Lacus replied, opening the envelope. "He said he wanted to hear the new song I wrote. Maybe he'll help me edit a bit."

"I doubt he'll find much to edit, Lacus," Lorene chuckled. Lovesick teenagers were too much fun.

She smiled and looked down at the photos she pulled from the package. Her smile faded into a look of confusion and shock. They were photos of her boyfriend, her loyal and devoted boyfriend, intimate with none other than Deanna? No matter how hard she looked, it was their faces she was seeing, their bodies intertwined in very vulgar positions. It just wasn't possible.

Some photos were of one evening, some from another or so. Days she definitely didn't see Kira. But they were just friends. They talked and got along, but they hardly even touched each other. Deanna wasn't into dating and sex like other women. And Kira…he wouldn't even cheat on her. Not like this.

"Lacus, what's wrong? What are those?" she heard her stepmother asking as she took the photos from her. She gave them up and made a hasty exit for the bathroom around the corner, leaving Lorene to gape uncomfortably at the crude photos.

Siegel entered the room, glancing worriedly back where Lacus had disappeared. "What happened?"

It took Lacus a few moments to regain her equilibrium after emptying the contents of her stomach. It wasn't like they were dirty, taboo porno but just the entire concept of those photos made her sick. Her Kira…

Her parents had put the photos down, looking upset at the entire situation. Her father looked up at her. "You all right?"

Lacus didn't trust herself to answer that and sat down. She wasn't sure how to handle this. "Who sent those?"

"No address." Lorene showed her the blank envelope.

"Hello?" They suddenly heard Kira's voice calling out for anybody. Usually Lacus met him at the door. Not today. He entered the living room a few seconds later.

"What's going on?" Kira asked, not liking the reproachful glares he was getting from Lorene and Siegel. It made him feel really dirty.

"Kira…" Lacus's watery eyes glanced up at him. "You and Deanna…"

At the mention of Deanna like that he paled, not liking what she was getting at. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play stupid please. Just how long have you two been sleeping together?" she asked, hoping he'd contradict her. The expression on his face suggested otherwise. It stung.

Kira stepped forward and snatched the pictures from the tabletop. He was horrified to see obscene photos of him and Deanna, but not really. Inwardly, he sighed in relief. He glanced at Lacus. "You're kidding, right?"

"Does it look like I am?"

Words escaped him. She was smart, but still victim to gullible jealously. He threw down the pictures, hurt. "They're photoshopped."

That wasn't what she was expecting. "What?"

"They're fake," Kira snidely informed her.

"Is that your excuse?"

"An observation."

"You aren't answering my question." He hadn't yet denied sleeping with Deanna.

"Where'd you even get these?"

"They just came in the mail."

Kira snorted in disbelief. "Very reliable. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm outta here."

And he turned and stormed from the living room. His own girlfriend, who was quite familiar with his body, honestly bought that garbage. And Deanna…only her face was right in those photos.

Lacus looked at the dreadful photos again and noticed the man's body was free of scars. Particularly that scar on his right shoulder, the one where something stabbed through him viciously. Also, Deanna's hands were painted in purple nail polish. She only wore black or dark red…ever. Now she felt like a complete idiot.

"Wait, Kira!" she called out, following after him.

Siegel was about to follow but his wife held him back. "Sit. This is between them. We'll beg forgiveness later."

"All right." They had been equally horrified by those photos. Kira didn't strike them as such a person but they were probably right after all.

Lacus rushed after her angry boyfriend and finally caught him in the foyer. "Kira!"

"Forget it," was his cold reply. Yes, he was very hurt.

"Please, Kira, just wait a minute," Lacus begged. "I'm sorry!"

He finally stopped and turned to her. "You're sorry? I don't buy it."

Lacus racked her brain for the best apology. "I mean it. I just didn't know what to think when I saw those."

"It just goes to show you really don't trust me," he bit out. "Have I ever given you a reason to think I'd cheat on you? With one of my best friends no less? Has Deanna ever?"

"No, no," Lacus shook her head. He hadn't. He always kept his eyes on her, and showed no interest in any other women. And there were dozens at least vying for his attention. Another singer, another rocker, some fans, even a gay guy. But he only devoted to her. And Deanna was blatant she wouldn't date Kira or her band mates.

"I didn't think so."

"So why did you look so guilty to begin with?" It was true; he didn't immediately say it was a lie. Instead, he looked horrified as if he had been caught. It didn't help her imagination.

"Because," Kira hesitated and decided to out with it, "we did sleep together. Once."

"But…you just said…" Lacus gaped.

"It's one reason how I know they are fake," Kira retorted. "And for the record, that was before I even started associating with you again. I only didn't tell you because you didn't ask. You only had to ask if I've slept with anyone else," he added indignantly. "I've never lied to you. I wouldn't have said who with because it involved Deanna and she wanted it to stay between us."

"Why didn't you just say so?"

He resisted the urge to do snap at her. "I wasn't going to say anything because if you freaked out over fake photos, I wasn't interested in knowing how you'd take the real story."

"Why would you two…?"

"None of your business. If you really want to know, you have her number," Kira scathingly retorted. "Ask her yourself."

"Kira, I'm really sorry," Lacus cried. She felt so horrible now for accusing him like this. It burned deeper when he swatted away her hand before it touched his arm.

"Don't touch me," Kira growled. "Bye. And don't bother calling."

With that said, he left the manor before he said more anger fueled words to her. He hadn't felt so livid before this. He didn't need her nonsense, her distrust and accusations because of anonymous trash.

"Honey?" Lacus felt her stepmother's hands on her shoulders in a comforting gesture.

Lacus broke free and ran for her room. Both her parents looked after her with sadness.

"Where did these even come from?" Siegel picked up the foul images and places where they belonged: in the trash bin.

"I think I should have a talk with some 'friends'," Lorene scowled. "I don't doubt somebody staged that."

"Think they'll be all right?" Siegel asked her. Women were better at this insight stuff than he was.

Lorene glanced up the stairs. "Hopefully. She has a lot of apologizing to do before Kira will take her back."

"You make it sound like they broke up," Siegel pointed out.

She looked at him. "Honey, when teenagers fight like that and say, bye don't call, it usually indicates at least partial break up. If they don't settle things, it's over."

Lacus cried for hours, berating herself for being so stupid. She should've been defending him, not accusing him. It was probably three or so hours later when the phone rang. Hoping it was Kira, Lacus answered quickly. It wasn't.

Lacus flinched from the angry voice emanating from the phone. "What the fuck did you do? Kira's absolutely pissed. Kira doesn't get pissed! I do!"

"Amy…I…"

"Okay, pissed is maybe an exaggeration. And no, he hasn't said anything yet," the rocker added.

"Amy, I didn't mean it," Lacus pleaded. "I just…Please, Amy, tell him to call me?"

"I'm not getting involved, princess," Amy huffed. "Do it yourself."

Click. Then the dial tone buzzed in her ear. She tried calling Kira, but it went straight to voicemail. He had turned his phone off. Knowing the others wouldn't play go-between, she was forced to leave it alone for the night.

West Island, Orb, Spring CE 74:

When they were working on their homework, Deanna used Calculus as a perfect excuse to find Kira. Amy suggested Em since Kira was probably not in a helpful mood. But Deanna had her reasons.

"Hey, you there?" Deanna knocked on his door.

"Yeah," Kira said. It was permission enough for her to enter his room.

He was laying on the bed with only a lamp on and a heavy metal band playing from the radio. Definitely a bad mood.

"What happened?"

"She got photos," he told her. "Photoshopped photos of you and me fucking. Way too fake."

"Oh. Let me guess…"

"She bought it until I pointed it out," he said bitterly. "I…ended up telling her we did sleep together before we started dating. No more than that."

"Okay. So how pissed are you?"

"Honestly? Mostly irritated really. She should've seen the obvious differences. No scars, you with purple nails." Deanna grimaced. "She and her parents looked at me like I was an insect or something. Talk about total faith."

"You really gonna break up with her?"

She was a tad alarmed that he seemed to be considering it. "Dunno. Now that I think about it, I'm being a real jerk right now. Or maybe I was expecting too much."

"Dude, girlfriend and boyfriend in love usually means trust that the other isn't going to fuck around," Deanna rolled her eyes. "Shouldn't be too much to ask that she at least ask before accusing."

"Maybe. I don't know why her accusing me of cheating hurts so much. Guess I'm being over sensitive."

"Hardly," Deanna assured him. "Kira, she totally attacked you without thinking it through. And don't give me excuses."

"I can't promise I wouldn't have felt the same way," Kira pointed out.

"Have it your way. It's 50, 50," Deanna scowled. "She's gullible but should've reacted better, that's all I'm saying."

She started to leave but had to say one last thing. "I'm sorry…for complicating your life."

Kira chuckled. "You didn't, Deanna. We weren't cheating on anyone and it wasn't against any rules."

Capital City, Orb, Spring CE 74:

Deanna made it a point to find Lacus at her place the next day. It was Sunday so it wasn't like she had anything else going. It took some searching before she finally found the Clyne manor on her own. It usually wasn't hard to find such a big estate.

The maid was hesitant to let her in so she had to wait for Lacus to say okay.

The girl looked terrible, as if she cried all night. Red eyes and a splotchy face. "Hey."

"Can we talk?" Deanna asked.

Lacus let her in and they found privacy in her room.

"Heard you freaked out on Kira yesterday," the goth girl began. "Got him pretty upset."

Lacus blinked back more tears. Her eyes hurt as is. "It was stupid, I know. Is he really…through with me?"

Her friend shrugged. "No idea. He suddenly thought he was acting like a sensitive jerk and wasn't sure what he was going to do. Probably wouldn't mind some space, knowing him. And there's something else underlying."

"Maybe."

"Look, I didn't want to tell anyone because Dave gets so fucking overprotective and Kira didn't need the awkwardness. Technically, it was stupid and he was right to try talking me out of it. It'd just upset the group harmony. But we did it anyways. It wasn't anything serious."

"Then why…?"

"Because I was fucked up?" Deanna offered. "I've had nothing but lousy sex and rape since 14. In the midst of self esteem issues and peer pressure, I asked him. By morning, we were back to friends. By the Battle, you two were flirting."

Lacus wasn't sure how to respond to that awkward confession. Deanna had been through as much as Amy and the rest. And she was right; it was before she was dating Kira.

"How angry is he?"

"He's already cooling off," Deanna shrugged. "Feels like shit."

"I can't believe I did that," Lacus muttered. "He didn't deserve that."

"He'll live," Deanna promised. "He's gone through shit before and survived."

She stayed a while longer to chat about other things before leaving. They had school the following day so Lacus couldn't see Kira for a while yet.

As she expected, he didn't call her all week. He didn't even appear online to chat. Whenever she called him, she got his voicemail. It was starting to scare her, making her think she ruined their relationship with her stupid mouth. And since her talk with Deanna, she hadn't heard from anyone else in his group.

In the meantime, she was stuck with school while feeling awful. Cagalli and Athrun had asked and she didn't answer them. She didn't want to until she knew where she stood with Kira. Her parents were nosing around (namely Lorene) regarding those photos. She was guessing the Wilsons were trying to cause friction to break them up but it was speculation. A lot of people knew about her and Kira by that point. Most didn't know much about Kira. And most sure as hell didn't know about Kira's friends like the quiet, invisible Deanna.

DeAnderick made a pass at her which she threw back at him rather harshly. Cagalli was even surprised by her coldness.

"Okay…what's going on?" Cagalli demanded. "You've been moody all week. Not that watching you bite his head off wasn't gold, but this isn't like you."

"Yeah. It's starting to worry us," Athrun agreed.

"Sorry," Lacus sighed. "I just…had a big fight with Kira and he's not talking to me. Not since last Saturday."

They glanced at each other. The perfect couple had a fight, huh? "What about?"

"I'd rather not say," Lacus said quietly. "It was stupid."

"Most fights are. You should see Athrun and me go at it," her friend smirked.

"I…accused him of cheating on me," Lacus just admitted. They gaped at her but she didn't meet their wide eyes. "These horrible pictures of him and Deanna came in the mail, but they were only photoshopped. I didn't realize it until he said so but I already accused him. Then I ended up forcing him to break his promise to Deanna to keep their one night stand a secret."

"Wait up a second," Cagalli cut in. "Time out. You accused him of cheating on you based on fake pictures, but he really did screw her?"

"He did, but before we met again," Lacus added. "And I never asked so he never told me anything. He was mostly staying quiet because Deanna wanted to keep it quiet. Now he won't talk to me."

"I see. He's a pretty forgiving guy," Athrun assured her. "Always was."

"That was then, Athrun," Lacus shook her head. "Then, we would've been talking the next day, sorting it out. Now…he's different. He's been hurt too much to take it easily. He still won't talk to me after all week. I'm really scared…he will break up with me."

Cagalli shook her head. "Listen to yourself, Lacus. You're really over thinking it. People sometimes need space to get their thoughts together. Kira's no different. He's not a rash guy."

"Maybe you're right."

West Island, Orb, Spring CE 74:

By the time Thursday afternoon came around, Lacus's focus wasn't just gone. No, it completely gave up any real estate it once had in her main. It was on a desperate whim she tossed her books into her locker and left straight for the ferry docks. She vaguely recalled the group usually worked Thursday nights. Kira sometimes was the first off along with Deanna. It was the one day they never have practice.

When she arrived, the apartments were quiet and empty as she expected they would be. It left her with nothing to do but wait for Kira. The time she had to wait gave her plenty more to think about what to say exactly to him.

As expected, he arrived home first with Deanna in tow. The girl gave her a look that probably equated to 'good luck' before moving into her own room. Kira didn't say anything and unlocked the apartment.

"Kira…" she started to say.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her sharply.

His biting tone made her flinch and Lacus realized he was still angry at her. When she didn't answer, he opened the door and let her in with him.

"I need to talk to you. Please."

Kira tossed his keys on the in-table and shut the door behind them. When he spoke again, there was only tiredness. "You're right."

Their privacy ensured with the roomies out working, the two sat down with sodas in the living room. Most of the familiar mess was moved to the studio, so it was unusually bare of music sheets and instruments.

"I'm sorry I overreacted," Kira began before she could think of something to say. "It's just for a minute you reminded of Fllay. She always played the jealous act and said anything to make me play her game. I know you're not her, but…"

"What'd she do to you?" Lacus dared ask, remembering years ago when Kira had finally broken up with her.

"Nothing good. Still, I let that get to me."

Lacus gave an unladylike huff of air. "I'm the one who's sorry. I can't believe I fell for that."

"Someone has a twisted sense of humor, or got lucky in hitting where it hurt," Kira griped. "We'll get over it. Lesson learned."

She nodded, and then scooted on the couch until she was touching him.

"Do you forgive?" she asked tentatively, hoping.

He finally smiled. "Only if you forgive me."

"Deal."

And they sealed away that fight with a passionate kiss.

"About damn time!"

Kira groaned, making Lacus giggle, and glanced at the clock. "Jerks."