CHAPTER 9: Corazon (Season 6, episode 12)

Character(s): Reid, Morgan

A/N: So it was pointed out to me recently that the bit on this site where you list the characters that appear in the story you write might, in my particular case, be worth changing. I'd originally planned to just mention four (the maximum amount you can list) characters that would show up the most in this series, but when people get notifications it only shows two of them, and…yeah. If they're not in the chapter it's confusing :p. So from here on out the character list will change according to each chapter. Hopefully that makes sense. Again, certain people will show up a LOT, as it seems they're the focus of most of these episodes, but everyone will be in here and featured more than once. Thanks to my friend little purple butterflies for bringing the issue to my attention.

Also, to Daisy312, for some reason, I'm unable to reply to your comments, so I'll just say "thank you" here-I'm glad you liked the chapters, particularly the last one! Amanda's point of view was fun to write. And much thanks again to everyone who's commented on the series thus far. It's so good to hear your thoughts.

Okay. Now I'll shut up and get on with the story.

"When the head aches, all the body is the worse." - English Proverb

Spencer winced, his eyes squinting, as the car door slammed shut. His fingers instinctively reached towards the center of his forehead. Even though night had long ago fallen, he began to dig around for his sunglasses anyway. He'd just thrown them on when he heard the driver's side door close, saw Derek start the car up.

The ride was silent for a few moments. Derek's arms were tensed, his mouth set in a firm line. Then, quietly, almost dangerously, he asked, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"…sorry?" Spencer replied. Derek wasn't sure if the innocence in his friend's voice or question was genuine.

"What were you doing at that house?" Derek's tone remained low.

A shrug. "I was investigating the case like you told me –"

"Oh, don't give me that." Tapping a hand quickly against the steering wheel, Derek gave an exasperated roll of his head. "You said you were going to take a look around the professor's room."

"And I did. I saw a photo of a house next door, remembered Rossi's words about the unsub attacking people in their homes, and I went to check it out."

"By yourself?" Derek asked disbelievingly. "You could've been hurt, Reid."

"Well, I wasn't."

One…two…three… "Not this time, no. But need I remind you what's happened the other times you've gone off by yourself?" He cast a pointed glance in Spencer's direction.

Spencer sat quietly for a moment. "I get it, Morgan…"

"No, I don't think you do."

"Yes, I do, I get it!"

"Then why does this keep happening, Reid? Huh? Why do you keep finding yourself in these situations?"

"I don't know, okay? It just happens." By now Spencer's elbow was resting against the window, his hand fanning out across the top of his forehead in general. It was like the pain wanted to engulf every inch of him. "And I'm probably going to get a lecture from Hotch about this when we get back, so you can save your breath, all right?"

Derek simply shook his head, letting out a frustrated huff. He tried to stay focused on the road, but his eyes kept darting over to Spencer, watching him shift about uncomfortably. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Spencer murmured, thankful the sunglasses kept Derek from seeing his eyes shut tight.

"You've been distracted and rubbing at your forehead almost the entire time we've been here, kid."

"It's nothing, really. I'm just a bit tired, that's all."

"Does this have something to do with what Ruiz said at one point?" Derek's voice had softened now. "C'mon, man, you can tell me…"

"Morgan, I appreciate the concern, but will you just drop it, please?" Spencer snapped, stifling a groan as he did so. He now felt like his head was caught in a giant clamp, its grip tightening. He buried his face in the crook of his arm, in a hopeful attempt to sleep off the throbbing pain. Derek took the hint, as nothing more was said between the two of them all the way back to the hotel.

Upon arriving, Spencer snuck a glance in his boss' direction. Aaron took one look at him, saw the pained look on his face, and merely nodded "good night" in his direction. Spencer tried to shoot an apologetic smile towards Aaron, before quickly turning and heading straight into the hotel, directly towards his room.

Spencer lay awake. For how long exactly, he didn't know.

The others were starting to suspect now. Though, granted, he hadn't been hiding his problem all that well. But it was obvious that he was clearly going to have to do something, find a way to deal with this. Course, in order to do that, he'd have to figure out what exactly lead to "this" to begin with.

He thought back to what Ruiz had told him. What if the guy had been right? What if the "ghosts" of this job had been haunting him? Oddly enough, that seemed to be the easiest, most reassuring explanation.

Of course, the best solution in that case would be to quit my job. And why would the "ghosts" affect me like this, and nobody else? And why now?

No, Spencer realized dismally. It's something else. He sighed as he continued to try and rack his brain for other options.

JJ left us a while back. It hasn't been the same without her.

Possibility of a brain tumor.

And then of course there's…

Spencer nearly let out a bitter laugh. He could accept the thought of a brain tumor, but stopped at schizophrenia? That's a strange place to find yourself.

He officially hated this guessing game.

Moving to get more comfortable, as well as to avoid the soft moonlight that was shining through the curtains, Spencer rolled over on his side. 4:10 am. That didn't bother him too much. He could catch up on sleep on the plane.

But being on the plane meant he'd soon be home. It meant another doctor visit. This time, there would (hopefully?) be no more guessing games about the cause of his headaches.

To know or not to know, that is the question.

Spencer shifted almost entirely onto his stomach. He closed his eyes, pressing the cool, soft pillow against his forehead.

"In a disordered mind, as in a disordered body, soundness of health is impossible." - Cicero