CHAPTER 16: Foundation (Season 7, episode 18)

Character(s): Morgan, JJ

A/N: Briefest of mentions of cutting, and while not explicitly talked about, there are some passing remarks on the concept of child abuse. Since those are obviously tense, unsettling subjects, best to give a heads up to be safe.

POV switch yet again between these two characters, but as always, tried to make it easy for readers. If it is confusing, though, don't hesitate to let me know.

"Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves." - Mason Cooley

Sometimes it's not so much the case itself you think back on, but rather the little things that happen within.

Having someone grab your hand, urging you to stay. I've had that happen. I've also heard someone's voice after waiting for ages, wondering if they'd ever talk again (and in my case, sometimes while I'm also wondering if I'll ever see them again, too). Both kinds of moments are indeed wonderful.

But I don't think I've ever felt so much relief at watching a simple coin roll on a floor towards me. It was Angel's way of letting me know he trusted me. That he was willing to help, willing to be helped. That he wanted to take a step back towards something resembling normalcy.

Kids are so willing to trust adults about anything. They're older, they know everything in the world, how can they possibly be wrong? The day any child finds out how bad some adults can be is one of the worst days they'll ever go through. I feel horrible for the kids who never regain that trust, but I can't say I don't understand it.

Angel Suarez had finally started to talk again. In one way, obviously, that was good. He was showing signs of his old self. He would be able to talk to his mother again, to other kids. He was regaining some of his power.

But when he started telling me about what Allen did to him, I regretted longing to hear him talk. Not so much because it brought back such painful memories for me, though indeed, the memories I did have as a result brought those familiar feelings of shame and anger, and made my gut twist as tightly as it did back then.

No, I didn't want to hear him talk then because it was bad enough that his mind replayed those horrors again and again and again. Actually speaking about it out loud, though, that reminded him that it was real, that it wasn't just a nightmare. He had to describe actions and words that no child should ever have to describe or say. He'd have to talk about all of this more than once, for the police, for possible testimony, probably to a future therapist, too.

And for that, the dirtbag who put Angel here would pay.

Easy, Morgan. Deep breaths. Look at JJ, see how she's holding it together? And she's got a kid.

I found myself thanking Hotch more and more for putting me with JJ this time around. Any other person were here, I know exactly how I'd be reacting. Butting heads with Hotch over how to handle Allen. Feeding off Rossi's own anger and disgust at the situation, and him feeding off mine, which wouldn't be good for either of us. Reid would fill my head with more statistics and disturbing information about Angel and kids like him than I needed to know and much as I love the kid and know he means well, it'd get to be too much after a while. Baby Girl's all the way back home in Quantico, and it's situations like this where hearing her voice on the phone just isn't enough. I'd want her physically here. Prentiss would be all right – we might argue a little, but she'd know how to put me in my place if I got too aggressive.

But JJ…she's got this calm about her, this incredible patience. Obviously comes from dealing with Henry, no doubt, but hell, I'm finding her motherly tone soothing and comforting. Like, if she were sitting next to me right now, I could tell her anything.

Morgan once thought about cutting himself.

Mister big, tough, kickass, don't-mess-with-me intimidating FBI agent Derek Morgan. Hurting himself.

I'm pretty sure my stomach nearly dropped out of my body altogether at that revelation. If I didn't hate Carl Buford enough before then…

Morgan was sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed, speaking softly to Angel. He'd been telling him stories to keep him occupied, some good, some heartbreaking, but it seemed to be working. Angel was talking now, beginning the healing process.

This was the side of Derek I liked the best. Sure, it was fun when he'd tease one of the other team members (namely Reid) about something, sure, I realized just how great a leader he was when he took on Hotch's role when needed. And sure, one couldn't help but be swept up by his natural charm.

But watching him patiently aid Angel through the stories of what the young boy had been through, watching him hold Angel's hand, seeing how passionate he was about making sure this boy, and all the other victims, got their justice? This was Morgan at his absolute best. This was what made me proud to call him one of my closest friends.

And at that moment, I was glad that he'd managed to keep that infamous temper of his under control. If he could control himself, so could I. Lord knows I'd been close to breaking many times as it was.

I had a hard enough time holding it together when talking to Mrs. Suarez earlier. One word, five letters, kept flashing through my head the entire time. Henry. Henry, Henry, Henry…

I had to refrain from calling Will every five minutes. "Is he okay? What's he doing now? Can you put him on the phone?" He would've tried to reassure me with that thick, sleepy voice of his, and I would've had to seal my lips shut to keep from exploding at him about the importance of this particular phone call. I'd always been careful about what to say and not say to him regarding my job – he'd already seen enough in his line of work that weighed on his mind. I didn't need my job piling on further.

Morgan would listen. Still, though, now isn't the time. I have to be strong, not just for Angel and myself, but also for him. He needs to stay focused right now.

But God, what I wouldn't give to vent to someone, anyone, anyway.

"I'm sorry, too, by the way," I said as I reached over to shut the door to my office. Time to finally get out of here and go home.

JJ's brows furrowed in confusion as she turned to stare up at me. "For what?"

"For flying off the handle and storming out of the hospital earlier."

"Morgan, you don't need to apologize for that…" she began gently.

"Yeah, but I can't keep losing my temper like that all the time."

"I dunno, you were doing pretty good most of the time we were there."

"I think having you around helped." JJ stopped at those words, turned to face me.

"Really?"

I gave her a firm nod. "Yeah. You're good at calming people down." JJ let out a disbelieving scoff at that. "What?" Now I was confused.

JJ turned away for a moment, looking like she was trying to hide a couple tears.

"When I was talking to Angel's mom? Or the rest of the team?" she began quietly, her voice slightly shaky. "I kept thinking of all the stories I heard about how that guy fooled those kids into trusting him. I kept thinking about how easy it could be for Henry to…" She stopped, biting her lip, taking in a breath, and I wanted so badly to reach out and hug her at that moment.

After a second, she continued. "The only reason I was concerned when you stormed off earlier was because I was afraid you might rush into the situation and get hurt. But your being angry and punching him?" I raised my eyebrows and her expression changed, a smirk now appearing. "Yeah, I heard about what you did when you got your hands on him."

I felt my cheeks heat up a little, but she shook her head as if to say, "It's okay."

"Anyway, the point is, I get it. I wanted to do the same thing. I feel that way anytime we deal with criminals who abuse kids. Like I said earlier, you don't need to apologize." Her piercing blue eyes focused intensely on mine then, emphasizing her last words even further.

This time I didn't hold back, reaching out and wrapping her up in my arms, gently rubbing her back, resting my chin atop her head. "Thank you," I whispered.

"Anytime, Morgan," she mumbled into my chest, her arms sliding around my waist. We stood, embracing, in the hallway of the BAU headquarters for a solid couple minutes or so. If anyone passing by gave a questioning look, a simple glare from me was enough to send them moving along quickly.

"All I know is any unsub who tried to hurt Henry wouldn't know what hit them," I said as I pulled away from her. "They may as well just start planning their own funeral, 'cause you would most definitely kick their ass."

"I learned from the best," JJ pointed out, nudging me. "But mostly it's a matter of, 'don't mess with the mama bear'."

That earned her a laugh from me. "Yeah, can't argue with that." A brief pause settled over us as we weaved through a small group of people passing by.

"Speaking of learning things, by the way, I didn't know you spoke Spanish."

"I studied it in school," JJ explained simply, shrugging her shoulders, as we resumed walking towards the elevators. "The stuff you heard is about all I really remember from class, though. Well, and a bit of the counting."

"I'm glad you knew any of it. It helped a lot. You were really good with Angel." I looked at her again, hoping the words sunk in the way I wanted them to.

JJ shifted a little, smiling shyly. "So were you."

"I tried to be."

"You were, Morgan. Trust me." She gave me a pointed look as we stopped in front of the elevator. Then, after hitting the button, she turned back, a sly grin spreading across her face. "You know, you'd make a great father..."

Groan. Seriously? "Okay, is that a line from some handbook that all mothers learn how to say at some point? 'Cause now you're starting to sound like my mama."

JJ laughed as we heard a ding and the elevator opened up. "What? I'm just saying I could easily see a bunch of little Derek Morgans running around…"

"Oh, god, please don't start," I begged, closing my eyes in exasperation, as we slipped inside and I heard the doors close.

"By compassion we make others' misery our own, and so, by relieving them, we relieve ourselves also." – Sir Thomas Browne

Reviews/critiques welcome, as per usual!