Chapter 12:
I get off the plane and see Ray standing waiting for me as I texted him about half an hour ago. As soon as I see him I just burst into tears and run towards him. He picks me up and hugs me, stroking my hair. "Hey Annie. Don't cry, please. You don't wanna make your old man sad do you?" I look up at him and he smiles sadly at me. I wipe my tears, we walk out the airport and he helps me put my luggage into the trunk of his car. The car drive is silent but comfortable, I missed Ray a lot even though he only left my house a few days ago. He's my rock, and I love him so much. He's helped me through everything, the incident, my mom, everything. "So, Luke is back. He was asking after you." I look at him and smile.
"Really?" I ask, Luke was my best friend when all this happened and we didn't stay in touch. We tried to, but he got a job in Seattle so he moved and I went off to college.
"Yeah, he came with me to Georgia to see your mom." I nod and look down. "She's awake, Annie." I look up at him.
"Oh my god is she ok? Was it deliberate?" He just shakes his head sadly.
"She won't talk. Just like last time. That's why I think you should try and speak to her, you got her to speak last time. Everyone's tried. Your grandparents, me, Luke, no one can get her to talk. I think you just might. She loves you that much honey." My eyes blur with tears again and I quickly wipe them away. Why did all this have to happen? I don't understand what I ever did to deserve this. We spend the rest of the journey in silence and soon we pull into the hospital car park. I don't even wait for the car to stop moving before I jump out and start running to the entrance. I get to the desk and I'm just about to ask where to go when Ray catches up with me. "Jesus Annie I nearly had a heart attack." He pants, holding his knees trying to catch his breath. The man at reception looks at us strangely.
"Can I help you?" I'm just about to answer when I hear a voice I've missed behind me.
"They're with me." I turn and throw myself into his arms.
"Luke!" He stumbles backwards but holds onto me.
"Christ Annie you nearly knocked me over." I start to sob and he holds me tighter. "Hey, hey, hey, shh. She'll be fine Annie. Don't worry. It's just a setback I promise." I nod and he pulls me back into his arms. "Are you ready to see her?" I nod and we walk to what I assume is her room. I knock and walk in when I don't get a reply. She's sitting up looking straight ahead, she doesn't even realise I'm in the room. What the fuck has she done to herself?
"Mom?" He head snaps up and she looks into my eyes with such sorrow that I start crying. I run towards her and embrace her, I hear her silently sob and we just hold each other for a while. Eventually I sit up and hold her hands. "Why are you doing this to yourself? Please just tell me mom, speak to me I'm begging you." She looks down and I see tears falling from her eyes.
"I don't know." I look at her shocked that she answered me.
"Just tell me how you feel mom, please. You need to let me know." She looks at me and nods.
"I feel trapped in my own body Annie. I can't breathe, it's like I'm drowning but everyone else is breathing. You are the only person that can understand me and how I'm feeling because you've felt it." Her voice is so small it breaks my heart.
"Mom I-"
"-Please let me finish. I won't get it out otherwise. I feel like I'm in an inescapable place. Like I'm locked in a room with no light, windows or door. It's so dark I can't even see my hands in front of my face let alone find a way out. I tried to Annie, believe me I did. I can't escape my own mind. I thought that it would end if I-" I start crying again and she pulls me onto her lap. "Oh baby girl. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve a sorry excuse for a mother like me. I did this to you. I'm the reason he-" I sit up quickly and shake my head.
"-No, no this is not your fault. It will never be your fault. He was a vulgar, disgusting human who was only ever out to hurt people. It just so happened to be you and me." She shakes her head and I press my forehead against hers. "Mom please believe me. It is not your fault. It will never be your fault."
"I'm so sorry Annie." We sit and cry for an hour before she falls asleep in my arms. I wake up and move away, laying he carefully back down on the bed. I pull out my phone and check my messages. Shit. I have five texts and seven missed calls from Christian:
I'll have you know Miss Steele that I'm down with the youth of today. Have a safe flight and call me when you've landed. Miss you, C x
You haven't called me yet, are you ok Ana? C x
You better call me soon Anastasia or I'll come and get you myself. C
Call me please.
WHERE ARE YOU.
Oh god. I dial his number, praying that he doesn't shout at me. "Grey." Shit he's angry.
"Hi." I say, innocently.
"It's about time Anastasia."
"I'm sorry. I'm at the hospital with my mom." His whole demeanour changes.
"Is she ok?" I feel myself choke up again.
"I don't know Christian. I don't know how to help her." I start sobbing.
"No baby please don't cry. It'll get better I promise. I hate hearing you like this, please stop." I take a few deep breaths and calm myself down.
"So how's your evening been?"
"Shit. I've missed you." He sighs.
"I've missed you too." I say, tears falling down my cheeks.
"One second. What's that Elliot?" I hear him say. "Yes it is. No, no, no!" Suddenly I can hear laughing and footsteps and it sounds like someone is running.
"Is this Ana?" It's a different mans voice.
"Yes.." I say warily and there is more shouting and laughter.
"So you're the girl he can't stop talking about huh? I'm Elliot, Christian's older brother. Hey, do you mind if we FaceTime?" I hear Christian shout no and I giggle.
"Sure." He hangs up and I walk outside and into the hospital gardens. It's still pretty light out and I needed to leave my mom to sleep. Suddenly my FaceTime alert starts ringing and I pick it up. Elliot has a strong build, blonde hair and green eyes. Nothing like Christian. How odd. He grins at me and I smile back. "Hi."
"Hey! My oh my, you are pretty. Christian was right." Suddenly Christian appears behind him and Elliot turns.
"Give me my phone back you asshole!" I giggle as Elliot starts to run again.
"I'm just talking to your girlfriend Chris, there's no problem. Sorry about my brother. So, how are you?"
"Um, I'm fine thanks." He nods and smiles at me before the phone gets knocked out his hands. Christian picks it up and holds it away from his face.
"Don't take my stuff." He turns to the camera. "How are you baby?"
"Oh baby." Elliot says mimicking Christian from behind him. Then he goes next to him and kisses his cheek.
"Fuck off Elliot." Elliot holds his hands up in defeat and backs away.
"Ok, ok. Nice to meet you Ana!" I say likewise and he walks away.
"I'm so sorry about that. Are you ok? You look exhausted." I smile sadly at him.
"I'm ok. It's just that the conversation I had with my mom was so draining. She just can't accept the fact that what happened wasn't her fault. It was his. That man has fucking ruined everything, god." I growl and Christian frowns at me. "Sorry, I'm just so pissed that one guy can do this to my mom. I fucking hate him!"
"Ana baby calm down. Everything will be ok. You're strong enough to fight this and help her along the way. Just don't give up." I smile at him.
"You are perfect you know that?" He chuckles.
"No where near as perfect as you baby." He winks at me and I giggle. "I love that sound."
"Ana?" I turn and see my dad standing behind me peeking at my phone.
"Ray? Uh, hi. What are you doing out here?" He raises his eyebrows as he can see Christian on the screen.
"Who's that?" He says. I point to my phone.
"Oh, this guy? Um, he's my, friend, Christian Grey." He nods, not buying my friend excuse.
"Right. Hang up the phone and come inside. It's getting late." I nod and turn to the camera, mouthing sorry.
"I'll speak to you tomorrow. Bye." He says bye and I hang up. I walk back to the room with Ray and he sits me down in the waiting room.
"Annie look-"
"-Before you start. I think I'm in love with him and I can't really talk to mom about it so I just have you and I know that you'll find really awkward but we met on my first day back and we've seen each other everyday since and he even invited me to see his parents next week and I seriously think I'm in love with him because we haven't seen each other for four hours and I already miss him so please don't think that it's just a fling because it's not." I say all of that in one breath and I'm out of breath by the time I'm finished. He looks at me wide eyed and smiles.
"As long as you're happy Annie, I don't care. He could be a drug dealer for all I care." He sits for a moment. "He's not a drug dealer right?" I laugh and shake my head.
"No, he's a billionaire CEO for Grey Enterprise Holdings in Seattle." His mouth drops open and I laugh at his shocked face. So telling Ray wasn't as bad as I thought.
I wake up the next day with a crick in my neck from sleeping in the chair by my moms bed. She's been sleeping for at least fourteen hours. She must have been really exhausted. I just sit and watch her, she's thinner than she was when I last saw her. And when I look into her eyes they didn't have that sparkle they used to. When he wasn't in our lives. I just want answers, why did he do it? Or almost do it I suppose. And why me? Why my mom? Why inflict this horrible pain on us? I think to myself and I realise the only way I can fully get closure is to see him. I just don't know if I could bare to see him and not rip his head off his body. But I need answers. God, now I'm at war with myself. Then I decide. I'll go, say I'm seeing the sights. Yes, that's exactly what I'll do. Shit, should I? For fuck sake Steele, make like your surname and man up! I'm right, ok. I'll go. I get up, stretch out my stiff limbs and grab my bag, leaving the hospital texting Ray that I'm taking a walk and to not expect me back for a few hours. I get a cab to the prison and take a deep breath before walking in. I speak to the receptionist and she tells me to wait. Eventually she comes back and says that he's agreed to see me so I wander into the meeting room. I can feel myself shaking and I contemplate actually bolting for the door. But it's too late. I look up and see him, my potential rapist, Stephen Morton.
A/N - Okay so I'm not sure if I like this chapter or not. I think there's too much dialogue and it goes on for too long. Sorry, I'm not feeling this story today. I hope you enjoyed it anyway :)
Sophie x