Dirk woke again with a jolt, though this time he stayed where he was. For a terrifying moment he was back in that terrible place with that terrible blond woman and her little dimwitted puppy dog of an underling. The thought that he had to escape was what dominated his mind next, that was until he heard the sound of soft breathing beside him.
Looking toward the sound he found his mind falter for a moment. Todd was sprawled out next to him on the bed, face tilted in his direction. As he took a few moments to really take in the fact that he had escaped and he was with Todd again, he let himself study the other man's face. There was a peace there that Dirk never saw when the man was awake, but he still felt something niggle at him the longer he stared. His instincts were telling him there was something wrong but he couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was.
He was only pulled from his worried thoughts at the sight of two ridiculously blue eyes staring back. Squinting into the morning light, Todd asked in a sleep roughed voice, "Is everything okay, Dirk?"
Letting out a heavy breath, Dirk admitted, "I don't know." With his brows furrowed and a frown pulling at his mouth he repeated, "I don't know, Todd." He was starting to feel an intense panic take him over as he added, "I can't tell anymore."
As his breathing began to pick up, beyond his ability to control, Todd sat up next to him. Putting a hand on Dirk's shoulder the shorter man tried to reassure him, "It's okay, Dirk. You're safe now." When that showed signs of helping he continued to try and comfort him, promising, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you again," Dirk felt his heart glow slightly at Todd's words but if faded when he finished, saying, "and when I can get a hold of Farah and she comes home she'll say the same." There was a traitorous part of Dirk's mind that asked to where Todd was referring, where was Farah's home now? Dirk had been gone a month and a lot can change in a month.
Forcing a small smile onto his face, Dirk nodded. With his panic attack subverted he was finally able to focus his mind enough to remember what he had been thinking about only minutes before. Biting his bottom lip as he took in a deep breath through his nose, he finally asked, "How are you, Todd?" When he went to answer, he added, "I mean, how are you really, Todd?"
If Dirk had been at his best, or even just somewhere in the middle, he would have noticed that the pause was too long, that Todd's eyes contradicted the rest of his face and his words, but as it was he was at one of his lowest points, so when Todd smiled and patted him on the back saying, "I'm fine, Dirk. I'm perfectly fine." He believed him, or at least in the forefront of his mind he did.
When Todd got up a second later Dirk found his mind blanking out on him, every thought that had previously been fighting for his attention had now gone quiet. He was noticing for the first time since Todd opened the door that the other man was in nothing but an old worn robe. He felt a retroactive sense of embarrassment as he felt a blush creep up his back and neck and onto his cheeks. Needing to escape he made a quick retreat into the bathroom, which didn't help much because there was still a full tub and that only made his mind wander further to places he thought it best not to go. It also gave him a strange sense of unease. Needing to erase the image of Todd in that bath before Dirk had interrupted the night before, he plunged his arm into the chilly water to drain it. As he watched the water level go down he sent his thoughts down the drain with it.
Knowing Todd kept a couple extra tooth brushes under the sink he grabbed one, hoping a nice cleansing might help clear his mind so he could think clearly again. As it was now he felt like there was a thick fog in his brain that followed around his thoughts, deciding at the most inconvenient times that Dirk shouldn't be able to see the full picture, blocking out the most important parts.
By the time he was finally emerging from the bathroom Todd already had breakfast cooking and nearly done. When he noticed Dirk standing there he sent him another one of those smiles that troubled Dirk to no end. He couldn't think about it long though before he was being directed to sit on the couch. After he was sitting with a plate full of food in his lap Todd made his own retreat into the bathroom with a small pile of clothes in hand. When he emerged minutes later, now fully clothed, Dirk felt a sense of disappointment, but quickly pushed it down.
The rest of the morning was filled with pointless television, presumably meant to distract Dirk while Todd kept trying to get a hold of Farah. It was around lunch time that Todd seamed to give up as he let out a frustrated huff, throwing his phone on the couch beside Dirk. Following after the phone, Todd collapsed onto the couch as well, dropping his head back to close his eyes. Dirk couldn't help but study the other man as he sat there ignorant of Dirk's scrutiny. There was still something there that was bothering him, something that was beyond Todd's normal level of melancholy but he still couldn't put his finger on it. Without even noticing, he let out a small sound of frustration, drawing Todd's attention back toward him.
He was studying him right back. With a sense of sorrow in his eyes but a smile on his face, Todd started to ask, "Do you want to talk about what happened while…" but cut himself off, his voice trailing before instead asking, "What do you think about a walk to go get some fresh air and maybe some lunch?"
Feeling restless stuck in a small apartment after the last month he'd had he quickly agreed, sending Todd a grateful smile for dropping the first subject. He knew if there was anyone he could talk to about it, it would be Todd, but he just wasn't ready yet. It was still too fresh and new, too terrifying.