There's Always More Chapter 9: Still to Come: The Worst Part, a How to Train Your Dragon + Rise of the Guardians Crossover fanfic

Hiccup let out a yawn, walking along the stone corridors on his way to Transfiguration. The afternoon sun streamed through the large arch windows, illuminating the old passageways in a mild glow. Gods, he wanted to sleep some more. But that was the price of keeping Toothless nearby and he would happily pay it. He tried his best to smile and greet all the students, who were saying hi or waving at him, even though he wished they'd just go back to ignoring him like before he suddenly became popular.

Usually, he met up with Rapunzel somewhere along the way if they'd had different classes before this, but today she'd been excused from Transfiguration to help their art professor prepare for a big project that all the art students would participate in next week. Jack and Flynn would be there though. Transfiguration had become one of the most entertaining classes in his schedule because of their banter and hilarious failed attempts before they eventually succeeded.

When the entrance to the Transfiguration classroom came into view, he stopped in his tracks. A weak burning sensation prickled in a limb that no longer existed. Oh no. Gods no. Not now. Not here.

His eyes darted back and forth from the doors to the classroom and down the corridor. There was no way he was going to make it all the way back to the common room before it got too bad. He sighed in resignation. Luckily, there weren't many students in the passageway. Good. Less risk of curious questions.

The burning sensation grew stronger. Why was this happening now? He took one step at a time towards the door, hisses escaping his lips despite his best efforts to restrain them.

Inside the classroom, he kept his eyes on the floor and tried to avoid scrunching his face in pained expressions. He slumped down on a chair, already exhausted from his sleep-deprived state and having to deal with this pain.

The gods must hate him. They must absolutely loathe him for one of his most vulnerable sides to be exposed like this among other students. Usually, his phantom pains came at night. Only a handful of times had he been unlucky and started to get them in class, but Rapunzel and Fishlegs had been there to help. But that wasn't possible this time. He was on his own.

He rubbed his temples, trying his best to block out the burning. It was no use though. He bit his lip hard. How was he going to get out of this mess?

A flash of white in the corner of his eye. Just his luck. Jack was probably going to notice he seemed off.

"Hey, Hic," Jack said and Flynn shot him a friendly "Hey", as his two friends sat down next to him.

He didn't meet their eyes. It was easier to pretend nothing was wrong if he could avoid eye contact.

"Hi," he said and tried his best to sound casual, but he knew he'd failed, as soon as the words left his mouth. His voice was too tired and strained to pass as 'casual'. Great. Now there were going to be questions. Jack wasn't going to let it go. He somehow just knew it.

"What's wrong?" Jack said.

Hiccup kept his eyes on his satchel resting on the table. He could hear the concern in Jack's voice.

"Nothing," he said. He didn't want to talk to Jack right now… or anyone else for that matter. He needed all his focus to deal with this agonizing pain that wouldn't stop its incessant burning. He needed to restrain the urge to hiss and swear and break things.

"That's not true. What's wrong?" Jack said.

"Nothing," he said, his voice firm. He began scratching his good leg hard under the table as a way of busying himself, digging his nails into the skin, trying to take just a little of his focus away from his missing limb.

None of this was Jack's fault. He should probably just explain things to him, but he didn't. He couldn't. All he could do to get through this was to keep others away. He couldn't handle their questions, their concerned words, their curious eyes, even though they meant well. It was too much.

"Come on. You can tell me. Maybe I can help," Jack said in a soothing voice.

"Leave it alone," he said and stared at the sketchbook poking out of his satchel on the table. He didn't bother to conceal the annoyance in his voice. Gods, he was weak, and it was pathetic that he took it out on his friend, but Jack needed to back off.

"Come on… Something is obviously wrong," Jack said.

Great. Jack wasn't letting it go. But this was too personal. He needed to be alone. He needed to find some way of dealing with this, so he could make it through class.

He got up from his chair and slung the satchel over his shoulder. The burning stabbed through his missing limb. He bit down on his lip and choked a pained hiss. It took all his willpower to push it down and try to appear somewhat normal.

With every step, his missing limb reminded him he was never going to be truly rid of it. He vaguely heard Jack call his name, but he ignored it, and shoved away the sinking guilt. He needed to get through the next hour somehow. He had to focus... but then what? He needed to make it back to the dormitories and he wasn't sure he could make it by himself. Nausea crawled into his throat at that thought.

By sheer luck, he managed to make it to one of the tables in the back of the room. He mentally thanked the gods that the class today was a lecture with no practical exercises. He did his best to pay attention as Professor Hyde drew some illustrations on the blackboard, but the fiery sensations kept breaking his focus. Every minute of the class felt like hours. He avoided looking at Jack and Flynn. He didn't want to see their concerned expressions. When there was five minutes left, he slipped his textbook into his satchel and slung it over his shoulder. He needed to be ready to leave.

As soon as Professor Hyde dismissed the class, he hurried into the corridor, hobbling and scrunching his face with every step. He only made it a short distance down the corridor before it felt like he was about to collapse. Thankfully, there weren't many students out in the hallways yet to see him like this.

He spotted the rarely used passageway to the left and summoned his last energy and willpower to limp down that way. He slumped onto the floor, leaning against the cool stone wall. He closed his eyes and stretched out his legs. His breathing was fast and shaky. His missing limb had a sick twisted life of its own.

Hiccup?" a familiar voice said from somewhere in front of him, hesitant and quiet.

He kept his eyes closed and sighed in defeat. Of course, Jack had found him. A part of him was relieved that one of his friends was here but another part didn't want to show this side of himself.

"Hi," he said, keeping his eyes closed. Missing toes felt like they were moving. The pain boiled and scalded him.

He could hear Jack plopping his bag down on the floor and approaching him.

"Hey" Jack said with a soothing voice. "Look at me, Hic."

Hiccup forced himself to open his tired eyes. The light in the corridor was bright and he squinted.

Jack had crouched down to face him and Hiccup stared into his friend's worried gaze.

"What's going on?" Jack said, his forehead wrinkled.

He was an idiot for putting that look on Jack's face. He sighed in resignation but it was cut short. The fire in his missing limb deepened, overpowering everything else. He hissed, biting down hard on his lower lip to keep himself from crying out. The familiar metallic taste of blood seeped into his mouth. He forced himself to take some deep breaths to calm his frantic heartbeat.

"You're in pain," Jack said, looking him up and down.

"Yeah," Hiccup said. There was no turning back now. Shit. He would need to trust Jack with this. The choice had been taken out of his hands.

"How bad is it?" Jack asked.

"Very," Hiccup said and closed his eyes again, finding the darkness comforting.

"What can I do to help?"

"Take the painkilling potion from my bag."

He heard the urgent rustling of Jack going through his satchel. He felt the brush of tingling skin and something cold being placed in his palm. He opened his eyes and took the lid off the potion. He downed it in one quick go.

The loud sounds of students rushing through the corridors filled the air. Tension curled around his chest. They were all on their way to their next classes, and he hoped none of them would come down this passageway.

"There," Jack said with a smile. "You're going to be better in a minute."

Oh, how Hiccup wished that was true. "No," he said and clenched his jaw.

"What?" Jack said, furrowing his forehead. He looked him over, like he was searching for some obvious injury he'd missed.

"It only takes the edge off," he said, getting more and more exhausted by the minute. He was struggling to get words out. Why couldn't the pain stop for just one fucking minute?

"Then you need to get some more," Jack said.

"Won't help," he said and let out a sigh. He wished he could go to sleep and wake up when the pain was gone.

"Hic, just tell me what's going on?" Jack leaned forward and gave him a squeeze on his shoulder.

Hiccup stayed silent while the noises of students in the hallways began to die down, signaling that classes were about to begin. Good. That was good. The fewer people around him, the better. He could trust Jack, but this wasn't just about trust. It was beyond uncomfortable to show these vulnerable sides of himself.

"Do you know what phantom pain is?" Hiccup said, his voice sounding weak. The intense burning sensations made him dig a nail hard into his palm.

As soon as the words left his mouth, Jack's eyes widened. So, he did know. Good. That was a relief. He wasn't sure he had the energy to explain the concept right now.

"I'm so sorry," Jack said softly.

"Not your fault."

"We need to get you away from here. I'll help you get to the dormitories," Jack said, looking up and down the corridor.

Hiccup nodded.

Jack got to his feet, picked up both their bags and slung them over his shoulders. He reached out his hand for Hiccup to take, and he pulled him up. Hiccup couldn't stop the wince that contorted his face.

"Try not to put too much pressure on the bad leg. I'll help you," Jack said and put an arm around his waist.

Hiccup nodded, and they began their slow and clumsy walk down the corridor. He was grateful the hallways were deserted now. He didn't want anyone to see him like this.

Jack's firm grip on his waist as well as the painkilling potion had managed to relieve the pain enough for him to hobble along, as they made their way towards Ravenclaw Tower.

It was an eternity, before they reached the familiar door. Hiccup mumbled the answer to the riddle, and the door swung open, revealing the large common room in blue and grey nuances with the high dome ceiling painted like the night sky.

"Wow… I've never been in here before," Jack said, sounding impressed. He held onto Hiccup with a tight grip to help him limp towards the staircase leading to the dormitory. "It's very different from the Gryffindor common room."

Hiccup gave him a weak smile.

Jack helped him up the old creaking stairs one step at a time. Sweet relief flooded him when he spotted his bed. The pain wouldn't go away but it'd still be more comfortable to lie down.

Jack led him all the way to the bed, supporting him properly, so he wouldn't fall. When he let himself slump down on the soft mattress, his missing limb let its burning grip loosen just a bit. His breaths were quick and uneven and beads of sweat clung to his hair.

"Thanks, Jack," he mumbled as his eyelids slid down.

"Any time," Jack almost whispered like he didn't want to disturb him.

"Please don't tell Fishlegs and Rapunzel… or Astrid. They'll only worry." Hiccup didn't like keeping secrets from his friends, but there wasn't anything they could do to help him, so it would only make them feel sad and useless.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to keep it from them?" Jack said.

No, he wasn't sure, but that was how it had to be. "Yeah. I can handle this by myself," he found himself saying. Which was true in its own way.

"Well, they're going to know something's wrong when neither of us come to class?"

Hiccup sighed and opened his eyes again. The light streaming through the windows was too bright. He resisted the urge to throw his duvet over his head.

Jack stood by the side of his bed, looking down at him with that concerned expression.

"Right… I guess there's no way to keep it from them then," he said and stared at one of the columns on his four-poster bed.

"Is it so terrible for them to know?" Jack said.

"I just prefer dealing with this alone," Hiccup said. He grabbed a fistful of the blue bedspread and squeezed it tight.

"Well, I'm not leaving," Jack said.

"What?" he said and looked at Jack again. What was he talking about?

"I'm not leaving, Hic. I'm staying here. Someone needs to keep an eye on you right now," Jack said and leaned against one of the columns on the bed.

Hiccup sighed. He understood Jack's concern and he did appreciate it. He'd do exactly the same thing if the situation was reversed. But he couldn't shake off that frustrating feeling of being a burden.

"How long does this usually last?" Jack asked.

"It varies a lot but… most of the time, it's at least a few hours," he said and squeezed the bedspread tighter.

"Okay. I'll go to Headmaster Lunar and explain the situation, and then I'll get both of us excused from classes for the rest of the day."

Hiccup opened his mouth to argue but Jack spoke first. "And don't even bother trying to talk me out of it," Jack said and pointed a finger at him.

Hiccup knew when he'd been beaten, and he could tell from the determined look in Jack's eyes that there was no use in arguing. He didn't have the energy anyway. He was doing all he could to deal with the pain signals constantly stabbing through his non-existent limb.

Jack left the tower with the promise of returning as quickly as possible. Hiccup just lay motionless on his bed with closed eyes, as he tried to force his body to relax. He inhaled and exhaled slowly and deeply, focusing on his breathing. It usually helped a little when he got that under control.

When Jack returned, he said they'd been excused from classes for the rest of the day. Hiccup was relieved he didn't have to go to class, but at the same time, he hadn't expected the headmaster to say no. Professor Lunar knew he had a missing limb and sometimes dealt with phantom pains. This wasn't the first time he'd been excused from classes.

Jack sat down on the edge of the bed. "How often does this happen?" he said with careful eyes like the question might be unsettling.

"Not as often as it used to. At first it was several times a week, but now it's usually once, sometimes twice a month," he said.

Jack nodded. "Why doesn't more painkilling potion help?"

"I don't know. It's just… phantom pain is very different from person to person and there aren't any treatments that work for everyone. Some people don't get any effect from painkillers at all. And there's a lot of things that's still not understood about it," he said. Gods, it was difficult to get that many words out. The pain and the fatigue were pressing down on him.

"And you always deal with this by yourself?" Jack said with raised eyebrows. He clearly didn't like that idea.

"Yeah…" he said and glanced out the window, where the white clouds floated by.

"That's just stupid, Hic. Seriously, how have you been able to do that? You couldn't even walk properly when I found you," Jack said.

"It usually happens at night, when I've taken off my prosthetic."

"Oh, so you just lie on your bed in horrible pain while everyone is sleeping?" Jack said with a sharp edge to his voice that Hiccup wasn't used to hearing.

"Uhm, yeah…"

"Seriously, how can someone so clever be so stupid at the same time?" Jack said and shook his head.

"Why should I wake up Fishlegs, when he can't do anything about it anyway?" he said. He'd considered waking Fishlegs several times, but what would be the point?

"He'd want to know, and it might help you to have a friend by your side."

Hiccup shrugged and stared at the ceiling. Maybe Jack was right, but he didn't like anyone seeing him like this and he'd also get that sharp sting of guilt from worrying Fishlegs and Rapunzel.

"Do Rapunzel and Fishlegs and Astrid even know you have phantom pains?"

"They know. I just don't tell them when, except for a few times where it happened during the day," he said, still staring at the ceiling. The burning pain flared up and he winced and dug his fingers into the mattress.

Jack sighed. "Well, from now on, you're not dealing with this alone. I won't let you."

Hiccup wasn't sure how to respond. All he wanted was to sleep, to retreat into the safe world of dreaming, where he could get relief. But that wasn't happening any time soon.

"Look… You should ask for help when you need it. Bloody hell, Hic, I'm your friend. Rapunzel and Fishlegs and Astrid are your friends. We all just want to help you. You could have just told me in class you were in pain, and I would've helped you get back here immediately, so you didn't have to sit through the whole thing," Jack said, unable to hide the frustration in his voice and his gesturing hands.

"I know," Hiccup said and glanced at him. Jack would have ditched class and risked getting detention to help him back here, and he insisted on staying by his side now. He was a great friend.

"So, why didn't you just tell me? And why don't you want me to tell the others?"

Hiccup didn't answer. The familiar guilt swirled inside him. The burning pain faded a little.

"Come on. You can trust me, can't you?" Jack said, his eyes pleading with him to let him in. Why was it so difficult to resist that look? Jack had a special ability to break down his walls quicker than anyone else and it was unnerving.

He stared at one of the bed posts. He could feel Jack's eyes on him. "It's… You probably won't understand but I don't want to feel weak or helpless," he said. There. It was out there. There was no taking it back. Gods, how he hated feeling so fragile.

"That's what all the secrecy is about? You think we're going to think you're weak?" Jack said and Hiccup could hear the disbelief in his voice.

"No. I don't know. I just don't want that feeling…"

"What feeling?"

"That feeling of being useless, helpless, unable to take care of myself."

A few moments of silence passed between them.

"Look… I get it, okay?" Jack said. "Everyone's always said you were worthless, and that you couldn't do anything right or defend yourself if your life depended on it. So, I guess it makes sense that you're trying to fight all your battles alone now… but you're not alone, okay? We're your friends. We'd never think you were weak," Jack said with a sad smile. The words soothed Hiccup's mind.

"I know… but sometimes I tend to think that," he said, and it came out quieter than he had intended.

"Well, you need to get those stupid thoughts out of your head. I don't know how bad the pain is, but you're not weak for being affected by it. You're only human."

"Yeah," Hiccup said and rubbed his eyes. The intensity of the burning pain had loosened and he could breathe easier. But any moment it would flare up again. Up and down like waves, that's how it usually went.

"So, why do you insist on doing all of this alone?"

Hiccup took a few moments to gather his thoughts. "I'm able to defend myself now. To take care of myself. Except for this. This is… I can't help it. I can't control it."

"I know," Jack said and sighed. "But there's nothing wrong with that. No one can control everything, and no one can do everything alone. Please just trust me with this from now on, okay? If you're in pain just let me know. I don't have to tell the others if you don't want me to. I still think you should let them know, but I get that you have your reasons. But you have to get some help when it gets too bad."

"I can't let you do that," he said.

"Why not?" Jack asked and crossed his arms. He was clearly not giving up on this.

"It's not your responsibility," Hiccup said and stretched his legs out on the mattress. He wasn't going to be a burden. He'd had enough of that in the past.

Jack scoffed. "It's not about responsibility. You're my friend and I want to help you, it's as simple as that. I don't like my friends being in pain."

"Yeah, but-"

"Hiccup," Jack said in a stern manner that was out of character for him. "From now on, when you get phantom pains, let me know and I'll help you."

"I can't wake you up in the middle of the night because I'm in pain. Besides, you'll get detention if you wander around the castle at night."

"Sneaking around is one of my specialties, Hic," Jack said and reached into his pocket and pulled out a round blue object the size of a palm.

"What's that?"

"It's enchanted. Me and Mavis both have some serious nightmares once in a while, and we use it whenever one of us wakes up and needs someone to talk to. When you tap on it, the matching one sets off a noise. Not loud enough to wake up the whole dormitory, of course, but enough to wake up the person next to it. And you can also spell out a short message on it. So, if you're in pain in the middle of the night, write the answer to the riddle for the door, and I'll be here. And don't even think about not letting me know," Jack said and the look of pure determination in his eyes told Hiccup it was no use arguing.

Hiccup reached out and took it. The brush of skin tickled his hand. "I don't even get a say in this, do I?" he asked with a faint smile.

"Nope," Jack said and smiled with satisfaction.

Hiccup rubbed his eyes with one of his sleeves. "Fine," he said, resigned to his fate of having Jack watch over him next time those horrible familiar pains would burn or jab through his missing limb. It was touching how much Jack wanted to help him, even if it filled him with conflicting emotions.

Silence descended on them. Hiccup watched Jack stare at a particular spot on the wall for a while.

"Hic?" Jack asked, sounding uncertain.

"Yeah?"

"I don't know if you're comfortable answering this, but… how much of your leg is actually gone?" Jack said, fidgeting with his hands like he was afraid he was asking something inappropriate.

That was a strange question but on the other hand, Jack had never seen his prosthetic. Hiccup pointed to the place where his prosthetic met the rest of his leg and Jack nodded.

"Try to get some rest, okay? I know you can't sleep right now, since the pain is too much, but just try to relax. I'll stay here."

"Okay," Hiccup said, not bothering to argue. Just having this conversation had been exhausting.

He closed his eyes and focused on keeping his breathing steady. Jack sat cross-legged on one of the corners of his bed.

Despite his reluctance to let people see him like this, he had to admit that Jack's presence was comforting.

Jack sighed and leaned back on one of the bedposts. Hiccup had finally fallen asleep after a couple of hours of dealing with the pain. They'd talked a little here and there, but Hiccup was too exhausted and distracted to say much. It was a relief that he was getting some rest now. Being in pain was draining, and it had definitely taken its toll. Hiccup had seemed fragile, a huge contrast to how he normally was.

Jack tapped his fingers on his knee and thought about the pure luck of spotting Hiccup sitting in the empty corridor, while he was on his way to his next class. He didn't want to think about what could have happened if he and Flynn hadn't found him. He'd told Flynn it'd be better if he just went to class because Hiccup wouldn't want more attention than necessary.

While he watched Hiccup sleep, his chest rising and falling evenly, his lips slightly parted, Jack's thoughts turned to the things Hiccup had told him about his past. He'd been an outsider all his life, mocked and ridiculed and utterly alone before things got better. It was no wonder he had self-esteem problems and tried to solve all his issues on his own.

Jack looked around the room Hiccup and Fishlegs shared with two other Ravenclaw guys. He was fairly sure their names were Matthew and Riley, but Hiccup and Fishlegs had only mentioned them once or twice. It was Jack's understanding that while there were no bad feelings between them, they were just acquaintances and nothing more. He was lucky that he and Flynn got along great with Liam and Harry.

Despite having the exact same layout as a Gryffindor dormitory, this room still had a different feel to it. Maybe it was because the shades of blue – the velvety curtains on the beds, the bedspreads, the rugs – gave it an airier quality than the warm reds of Gryffindor.

Jack decided to occupy himself by flipping through some of Hiccup's sketchbooks, taking in all the beautiful, detailed drawings. Hiccup wouldn't mind. He had let him do it before. He found an amazing drawing of Toothless taking a nap in the sun, the rays illuminating his black scales and his face in peaceful folds.

Hiccup made a pained noise. His forehead was furrowed, and his breathing had sped up. "Brenna hamr," he mumbled.

Jack put down the book.

If it had been a different situation, where Hiccup wasn't having a nightmare, Jack would have found it funny that Hiccup actually spoke Old Norse in his sleep. More than ever, he wished he understood it.

"Shhh, Hiccup. Just relax. You're okay. You're okay," Jack said and scooted closer to him.

Hiccup squirmed in his sleep. "Brenna hamr," he muttered, along with a string of pained noises.

Jack made a mental note of the words, hoping he could remember them later and get Hiccup to translate.

"Hic, calm down. I'm here with you. I'm right here," Jack said. "Don't worry. Just relax. I'm right here."

Hiccup mumbled some words that Jack couldn't hear properly, but he was sure it was more Old Norse. Little droplets of sweat had appeared on Hiccup's forehead.

Jack leaned in and wiped them away with his sleeve. "Hic, just relax. Nothing's going to hurt you, okay? You're safe here."

Hiccup's squirming slowly ceased and the wrinkles in his forehead smoothed out. Jack let out a relieved sigh, when Hiccup's face was peaceful, not a trace left behind from the anxiety he'd been engulfed in.

Jack scooted closer. He reached out and gently stroked Hiccup's brown hair a few times, feeling the soft locks tingle his fingertips. He wasn't sure why he did it. Maybe he just wanted to do something to reassure himself that Hiccup was okay. When Jack had last had a nightmare about his parents' death, Hiccup had told him he knew what it was like to have recurring nightmares. Maybe this was one of those nightmares.

After keeping an eye on Hiccup for a while, he went back to looking at the drawings in the sketchbooks. There were detailed illustrations of everything from different dragons to weapons, saddles and inventions. It was an interesting look into Hiccup's head. Eventually, he found drawings of himself and their friends, which made him smile.

An hour later, Hiccup began to stir and eventually opened his eyes.

"How are you?" Jack asked.

"Better," Hiccup said and sat up, leaning against the headboard.

"Good," Jack said with a smile. The twisted worry in his gut loosened.

"How long was I asleep?"

"About three hours."

Hiccup nodded. He seemed to be in a much better state now. He didn't look as fragile.

"Are you still in pain?" Jack said.

"No, just a little tired," Hiccup said with a small smile and rubbed his eyes.

Jack nodded. Good. The pain was finally over. "You had a nightmare."

"I did?" Hiccup asked and let out a yawn. He didn't seem too bothered by that information.

"Yeah… You don't remember?"

"No, not really," Hiccup said and shrugged.

"Well, you were sort of speaking Old Norse."

"What? Can you remember what I said?" Hiccup looked confused now. Maybe he never talked in his sleep? Or maybe it was just rare that he spoke Old Norse while dreaming.

"I could only really hear some of it… Brenna hamr?" Jack said and hoped he was pronouncing it correctly.

Hiccup wrinkled his forehead. He looked out the window, where the sky had turned grey.

"What does it mean?" Jack asked, watching Hiccup for any kind of reaction he could try to decode.

Hiccup stayed silent for a moment. "Burning skin," he said.

Well, that wasn't good. Jack picked at a loose thread on his sleeve. "Do you have any idea why you'd say that?"

Hiccup trained his eyes on him. "There are two possibilities, I guess… but I was probably dreaming about the time I fell into the dragon queen's flames."

"I thought you were unconscious when that happened?" Jack said.

"I wasn't unconscious the whole time. I remember tiny fragments."

Jack nodded. "What's the other possibility?"

"That I was dreaming about the phantom pains."

"Why? Does it feel like burning?" Jack asked. He knew almost nothing about phantom pains and Hiccup hadn't had the energy to explain it to him.

"Sometimes it does," Hiccup said and let out a yawn.

"Do you want me to tell Rapunzel and Fishlegs about it? Or do you want to do it yourself?" Jack said. Their friends had to be told something about what had happened.

"You can tell them if you're okay with it. I don't really want to talk about it anymore," Hiccup said and looked at his hands in his lap.

Jack nodded. "I'm guessing you want to stay up here for the rest of the day?"

"Yeah. Well, I don't want to, but I need to take it easy after something like this."

"Try to get some more sleep or at least just stay in bed, okay? I'm going to go calm our friends down. They're probably all worried." In fact, if Flynn had told them about what had happened, Rapunzel was probably close to losing her mind.

Hiccup nodded, laid back down, and pulled the duvet up to his shoulders. "Thanks, Jack," he said with a tired smile.

When he left Ravenclaw Tower, there was an uneasiness inside him. He wanted to keep an eye on Hiccup, but he couldn't stay there all day. He needed food, he needed to explain the situation to their friends, and he also had the feeling that Hiccup didn't like being watched.

Outside, the autumn breeze was chilly on his face. He headed towards the lake, his shoes scraping across the soft grass. He took a deep breath and savored the brisk air in his lungs, while he went up and down the small hills and eventually reached the trees and the shore.

His three best friends and Rapunzel and Fishlegs were sitting together next to the clear blue water, occupied by a serious conversation from the looks on their faces. When he sat down next to Flynn, Rapunzel wasted no time in interrogating him.

"What happened to Hiccup? Is he okay? Flynn told us something was bothering him and that you found him sitting in one of the corridors and stayed with him, but neither of you showed up for the rest of your classes? You had us worried sick! Where is he now? Did something happen? Did-"

"Rapunzel!" Jack said. "I can't really answer anything if you don't give me some time to actually speak."

"Right," Rapunzel said, drumming a hand on her thigh. "Sorry. I'm just worried."

"Hiccup's just having some trouble with his leg, so I helped him back to the dormitory and stayed with him," Jack said, keeping the fact that Hiccup had phantom pains to himself. That wasn't something he had the right to tell their friends, and Hiccup had been very clear that he didn't want to worry anyone.

"Should we go back there and keep him company?" Fishlegs said, eyes darting back and forth between him and Rapunzel.

"Nah, he's getting some sleep now," Jack said. That seemed to make the others relax, especially Rapunzel and Fishlegs, who both stopped fidgeting.

"That's good," Fishlegs said. "We were really worried, but we had no idea where you were. Usually, when something's bothering Hiccup, he goes outside."

"Yeah, I know, but he couldn't really do that, and it was better if he got some rest."

"Yeah, I'm just relieved he's okay," Fishlegs said and Rapunzel nodded so eagerly, her golden hair bounced.

"He's okay. Don't worry," Jack said with a warm smile. They were great friends. Always so concerned with Hiccup's wellbeing.

Jack stayed with his friends by the lake for a few hours, before it was time for dinner in the Great Hall. Rapunzel and Fishlegs told him they'd bring Hiccup some food, which was a relief. Hiccup hadn't eaten since breakfast, and he needed to get some fuel.

Sitting by the Gryffindor table, watching the bowls and trays full of food, he realized how hungry he was. He piled food onto his plate, while he listened to the banter between Merida and Flynn about patronuses. Flynn was convinced Merida's patronus would be an Africanized honey bee, because "they're ill-tempered and chase their victims for miles."

He stuck his fork in and out of a potato. He hoped Hiccup would hold up his end of their deal and let him know the next time he had those phantom pains. He shouldn't be dealing with that all alone. He'd been alone enough in his life.

Hiccup yawned, making his way through the corridors with Fishlegs and Rapunzel by his side. Fishlegs entertained them with facts about the Battle of Hogwarts, while Rapunzel held Pascal in her hands and stroked his scaly head. The stone passageways were always quieter at this time in the morning, only a few students passing them by since most were still at breakfast. The three of them preferred it that way. It was best to avoid the stressful rush and noise of the packed corridors when everyone was on their way to classes at the same time.

Exhaustion and pain no longer weighed him down. When he'd visited Toothless last night after getting lots of rest, Toothless had instantly sensed what was wrong with him. His best friend was incredibly observant and sometimes it fascinated Hiccup just how much Toothless knew and understood about him.

As he listened to Fishlegs blurt out facts about which kinds of magical creatures participated in the Battle of Hogwarts, a hand closed around his wrist. He spun around and came face to face with a pair of familiar eyes.

"Oh. Hi, Astrid," he said, giving her a smile. They hadn't talked much in the last week, so it was nice to see her.

Astrid let go of his wrist. She pushed her fringe away from her eyes.

"Hey. Can we talk?" she said and a careful smile crawled onto her lips. Her eyes darted from him to Fishlegs and Rapunzel and back again.

Why did she seem so hesitant? She wasn't usually like that. Did she need help with something? Was something wrong?

"Uhm, yeah. Sure," he said and turned to Fishlegs and Rapunzel. "Just go ahead. I'll be there in a minute, Fish. See you later, Rapunzel."

They nodded and continued down the corridor.

Astrid didn't look at him anymore and an awkward silence descended on them. It was weird. When he and Astrid talked, it was usually easy, unless he'd pissed her off. But that was a rare occurrence. What was going on with her? Why did she look so tense and uncertain? Was she about to tell him something horrible?

His throat had gone dry. He closed his hand around the strap of his satchel in a tight grip.

"Look," Astrid said with a determined look on her face. But her voice betrayed her. It sounded unsure and awkward. Like it wasn't her voice at all. She looked him in the eye. "I'm not sure how to say this, but I just need you to know."

"Okay…" Hiccup said. He was dying for answers but at the same time, he wished this conversation could be avoided. He tugged on one of the braids in his hair.

"I know I haven't always been great to you. Before you made us see that we were wrong about the dragons, I looked down on you and I didn't stop people when they bothered you. I never defended you. But I should have," she said and broke eye contact to look at the stone floor.

Hiccup took a deep breath and the tension seeped out of his body. Ah. Guilt. That made sense. It had happened to a lot of people on Berk. Some of them apologized to him. Others simply started treating him like an equal. There was no need for Astrid to apologize though. She had made up for it by being a great friend.

Astrid met his eyes again. "I should have seen what a great person you are, but I was blind to it. I'm sorry. We always thought you were a coward, but you turned out to be braver than any of us. You turned out to be able to do more than any of us could have ever imagined. And no one could have done it but you. What you and Toothless have and what you've achieved… It's amazing. And you're amazing," she said with fondness in her eyes.

As quickly as the tension in him had left, it came back, clenching his muscles. It was nice of her to apologize but why was she telling him he was amazing? They were close friends, but Astrid didn't usually express her feelings that openly. It left him scrambling for an explanation.

"Thanks, Astrid," he chose to say and gave her a smile to show he was touched by her words.

"I…" Astrid said but stopped herself. She broke eye contact and took a few deep breaths.

There was more? He could tell she was mentally preparing herself for something difficult, and he did not like emotional surprises. He didn't do too well at handling them, always struggling for the right words to say and trying to decode his first instinctive reactions and what they meant. Oh, this was going to be horrible. Astrid must have something upsetting to tell him.

She lifted her head. This was it. Whatever it was she had so much trouble saying was going to be revealed now. He hoped it wouldn't tear him apart.

"I like you, Hiccup… as more than a friend. I should have noticed you before, I should have done something, but I didn't, and I regret that. I've kept it to myself for a long time, because I wanted to be a good friend to you, but now…" Astrid said and sighed. "It might be selfish, but now that all these girls are suddenly throwing themselves at you, I just… I don't want you to find someone before I even had a chance to tell you how I feel," she said, stumbling over some of the words in her hurry to get them out.

She fidgeted with her braid and waited for an answer, but Hiccup couldn't breathe, let alone string a proper sentence together.

He'd known she was going to say something important, something that could change things and potentially upset him, but he did not see that one coming. Astrid liked him? How long had she felt that way?

"Look," Astrid's voice cut through his thoughts. "I know you. You have trouble dealing with these kinds of things on the spot, so I'll leave you to think about it for a few days, and then I'll find you again and we'll talk. I'm going to give you some space, okay?" she said, her unsure voice now sounding oddly calm.

He nodded, his brain still unable to form any coherent words.

She smiled at him, soft and warm, and walked away. She changed her mind a few seconds after and spun around. She approached him again and didn't stop when she got closer than they'd been before.

His mind went quiet. She leaned in. Her breath warmed his face. Her lips slid onto his, pressing softly on his mouth. Before he could understand what was happening, Astrid disappeared down the corridor without looking at him. The kiss left a tingling sensation on his lips. He touched his mouth with his fingertips.

"What just happened?" he said to himself. He stared down the corridor where Astrid had left, unable to move.

What was he supposed to do now? He needed time to think about this, but he had a class to get to. Oh, Odin's beard, how was he going to concentrate now that Astrid had dropped this on him?

Nausea crawled into his stomach, stronger and stronger with every step down the stairs leading to the dungeons. He needed to tell Fishlegs and Rapunzel about this to get their input. But he wanted to separate himself from the situation for a while and he only had his next class with Fishlegs.

When he made it to the bleak, dusty classroom, he slumped down in a chair next to Fishlegs by their usual workstation. Fishlegs jumped at the sudden movement.

"Don't worry, I'm not an axe murderer or anything," he joked half-heartedly.

"I know that!" Fishlegs said and huffed before his eyes narrowed.

Oh, great. He could already tell something was wrong. Fishlegs knew him too well.

"Are you okay? Did something happen with Astrid?"

Aaaand there it was. What he wanted was to forget about this whole thing with Astrid, at least until he was done with classes for today.

"I'm fine. Uh, something did happen, but I want to tell you later," he said and put his satchel on the workstation.

Fishlegs nodded and gave him a soft smile. "Okay, that's fine. We'll talk about it later," he said, pulling his textbook out of his bag.

"Thanks," Hiccup said.

Some people would have tried to force it out of him simply because they were curious. Not Fishlegs. He'd always trust him when he said something could wait.

Even though he'd intended to push his encounter with Astrid out of his mind, his thoughts kept wandering in that direction, while he and Fishlegs waited for Jack and the others to arrive. When they were younger, he'd had a crush on Astrid for years, but he hadn't thought about her like that for a long time. Now, it seemed, it was time to reexamine his feelings.

The rays of the morning sun streamed into the corridor and wrapped Jack in a comfortable bubble of relaxation. The pancakes and tea he'd had at breakfast warmed his belly and he listened to Mavis and Merida talk, while they made their way towards the dungeons. There were very few students in the corridors and the quietness was calming.

Mavis had insisted they went to class now since they were done eating and there was no use just hanging around the House table full of tired zombie Gryffindors. Their House wasn't exactly known for being full of early risers. Flynn had forgotten his textbook, so he went back to their dormitory first, and they'd agreed to just meet up in class.

Mavis and Merida were occupied by their discussion on how to deal with Merida's mum and her lack of enthusiasm towards Merida's love of Quidditch when Jack spotted a familiar person ahead. Two familiar people, actually. A smile spread across his face and his drowsiness subsided when he recognized Hiccup's back. His smile melted away a moment later when he noticed something was wrong. He could only see Hiccup from behind, but he seemed tense with his stiff body language, while the look on Astrid's face was soft.

He glanced at Merida and Mavis, who were still busy talking and hadn't seen Hiccup and Astrid in the distance.

Astrid walked away from Hiccup with brisk steps. Jack wondered what they could have been talking about that had made Hiccup tense. He was never tense around Astrid. His thoughts were interrupted when Astrid headed back towards Hiccup. She came closer and closer to him, going way into his personal space.

When she leaned in, Jack felt like he couldn't breathe.

Astrid closed her eyes and locked their lips together in a kiss. A moment later, she was on her way down the corridor among the few other students around.

His feet were frozen to the floor. He stared at Hiccup's back. Barely noticed Mavis and Merida walking ahead. His eyes widened in realization.

Dry mouth. Tight throat. Not enough air.

This was… This was… Wrong. All wrong.

Hiccup headed down the corridor with tense shoulders and disappeared around a corner.

Fuck. No. Please. No. This would ruin everything! Hiccup was his friend! What the hell was happening to him?

The world wobbled around him like sloshing water. He kept still and stared at the stone wall, trying to stop his weak knees and woozy head from knocking him to the floor.

How could he be so stupid?! That inexplicable warm feeling he got when he was around Hiccup. When Hiccup smiled at him, when he laughed openly, when his green eyes softened. The way every touch would leave pleasant, tingling sensations on his own skin.

Among the scattered thoughts whirling in his head, one thing was painfully clear. He didn't want Astrid to kiss Hiccup. He didn't want anyone to kiss him. How the fuck could he have been this blind?

Nausea flooded his throat and he wanted to throw up. He tried to take deep breaths, but it felt like his throat was shrinking.

"Jack?" he heard a soft voice say, reaching through to his clouded mind.

"Jack?" the voice said again. He used all his willpower to tear his eyes away from the wall and look at the person trying to help him.

He stared into Mavis' panicked eyes. Merida's wild red hair coloured his peripheral vision.

"What's going on? Are you sick?" Mavis said and squeezed his arm.

He jerked away from her. His heartbeat sprinted like a spooked mouse.

"Jack, please, what's going on?" Merida said.

"I… I…" he said, struggling with the words like he hadn't spoken in years. "I need to go."

He had to get out of here. This was too much. Couldn't handle it.

Without another word, he raced down the corridor.

"Where are you going!?" Mavis shouted.

He didn't look back. Didn't want to see their faces, didn't want to hear their concerned words and their unavoidable questions. Nausea bubbled in his throat. Stone wall after stone wall flew past him.

Merida and Mavis called out his name. His thoughts shot in all directions, trying to cope with what was happening.

He couldn't be around them. Not now. He needed to panic on his own.

The gloomy, dusty Potions classroom matched Mavis' mood perfectly. She sat by their usual workstation with Merida in silence, waiting for Flynn to show up. Thoughts about Jack ran through her mind, as her eyes drifted over the workstations, the blackboard, the shelves with jars full of ingredients.

Hiccup and Fishlegs were already at their usual workstation, but they were immersed in a discussion and hadn't even noticed she and Merida were here. Hiccup seemed to be drawing in his sketchbook to illustrate something to Fishlegs.

Flynn showed up a few moments later, plopping his textbook onto the workstation.

He smiled at them, but it melted away in an instant. He looked back and forth between them. "What's wrong? Where's Jackie?"

Mavis picked at the skin around her thumb. "He had some kind of anxiety attack on our way here. We tried to calm him down, but he ran away from us."

The words sunk into her, dark and sickening. She should have done more. She should have stopped Jack from leaving. But in the moment, she didn't think clearly and now Jack was out there by himself. Warm tears slipped into her eyes, but she blinked them away.

"Shit," Flynn said and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, uh… I'll go back to the tower to see if he's there. I can still make it before class."

"Good idea," Mavis said and tried to give Flynn a reassuring smile.

"Yeah. Maybe he's gone back to the dormitory," Merida said with hopeful eyes.

Flynn nodded and hurried out the door, leaving his things behind on the workstation.

She and Merida were silent throughout the wait. Every minute dragged on for ages. Merida drummed her fingers on the workstation over and over, empty eyes staring at the wall. Mavis tried to pass the time by sketching something, but when she put the pencil to the paper, nothing happened. She tried again. And again. Nothing. She stabbed the paper with the pencil and the grey tip snapped off.

When Flynn came back, she already knew the answer from the defeated look in his eyes.

"He wasn't there," Flynn said, breathless. He'd definitely run all the way there and back again.

"Shit," Merida said and pulled on one of her curls. "What do we do?"

Of course, Professor Creek chose that unfortunate moment to show up and start the class. He launched into a lecture on the Polyjuice Potion, but none of them could focus. They exchanged notes, trying to figure out what to do. It didn't take long for them to agree they'd go looking for Jack as soon as class was over, even if they'd probably get detention for it. They couldn't just let one of their best friends suffer all alone.

Professor Creek droned on about the origin of the Polyjuice Potion. Usually, she'd be taking lots of notes, but right now, it couldn't be more irrelevant.

She chewed on her lip to get an outlet for the restless energy coursing through her. Besides the trauma of his parents' deaths and his problems being away from Emma for most of the year, Jack was always the one soothing others, reassuring them everything would be okay. The one who seemed like he could handle anything. Now, something had crumbled him. What could it possibly be? It'd happened instantly. One moment they were heading to class and the next, Jack couldn't even tell them what was wrong.

There were glaciers moving faster than the time in this class. Professor Creek's eyes drifted over all the students in the room, while he told them about the backstory of the inventor of the Polyjuice Potion. Mavis couldn't even remember the person's name right now.

She felt eyes on her and found Hiccup's questioning gaze. He must have noticed their serious faces coupled with the fact that Jack wasn't here.

She pulled out some parchment from her bag. He was Jack's friend too and they'd grown so close. He deserved to know what was going on.

She scribbled a message: We're worried about Jack. He had some kind of anxiety attack on our way to class. He had trouble breathing and he wouldn't listen to me and Merida. He even flinched when I touched him, and then he ran away from us. We've never seen him like that before. Flynn looked for him in Gryffindor Tower, but he wasn't there. We're going to search for him after class.

She folded up the paper and eyed Professor Creek, waiting for an opportune moment. She glanced at Hiccup, who was watching the professor as well. He'd probably figured out what she was doing.

After a few minutes, Professor Creek finally turned his back to the class and began writing bullet points on the blackboard, listing the different dangers and restrictions on the use of Polyjuice Potion.

Mavis enchanted the note, and it floated over to Hiccup, landing softly in his hands. He wasted no time in scanning the words on the page. His eyes widened and he just stared at the note for a moment before he pulled out his quill and wrote something.

The note flew back to her, and it didn't take long to absorb the message written on the crinkly piece of paper:

I'm coming with you.

As soon as class ended, Hiccup and Fishlegs joined her and Merida and Flynn by their workstation. They agreed to split up, so they could cover more of the castle and the massive grounds surrounding it. Fishlegs said he'd find Rapunzel before her next class, so she could help too. But they had to find a way to keep in touch. Hiccup pulled out six pieces of paper and enchanted each of them with a spell Mavis hadn't heard before. He said if they found Jack, simply write it on the paper and it would appear on the other pieces. Apparently, it was a spell Hiccup had specifically learned, so he and Fishlegs and Astrid could communicate easier back in the archipelago if they lost each other while they were out flying.

She decided to search for Jack by the lake and the Quidditch pitch. The fresh air cooled her skin and played with her black hair, while the rustling treetops and cheery birdsong was a pleasant melody that did nothing to soothe her. Usually, going outside after being in the dusty, dark Potions classroom was a relief, but she couldn't enjoy it now.

She searched along the edge of the lake, trudging up and down little hills, weaving through trees and logs. The rippling water of the lake gleamed under the sun and squelched against the rocks by the shore. Every minute that passed pushed the concern deeper into her. What if none of them found Jack? Or what if he was in a horrible state when they did find him?

Every time she spotted movement, her heart stuttered. But it was always a bird or a tree moving in the wind. Her imagination ran wild as she continued walking along the shore. What could have affected him like that? What could be so bad that he couldn't even talk to his best friends about it?

She saw something blue in the distance and froze in her tracks. There! She would recognize that blue hoodie anywhere. The worry loosened its grip, but she couldn't let the sweet relief wash over her yet. Something was still wrong, and Jack had actually stopped by the dormitories to get his beloved hoodie. He felt safe in it. He must need that right now.

She walked towards him with slow steps, not wanting to scare him off. He sat on a massive flat rock by the shore with his knees pulled up and his arms wrapped around them. His hood had been pulled up. He only did that when he was in a bad mood.

As she came nearer, she knew he'd seen her.She sat down next to him on the huge rock, keeping them a few feet apart, in case he still didn't want any physical contact. Their surroundings were peaceful, the glittering water a striking blue against the green of the trees and grass, the breeze dancing through the treetops, playing a relaxing song on the leaves.

"Jack," she said. He didn't react. "Jack. Please… just tell me what's wrong, and I'll do whatever I can to help."

"I can't," he said, lifting his head to stare out over the water. He sounded so fragile in that moment, all she wanted to do was pull him into a tight hug. But she couldn't. He might not that want that.

She picked at her nails, scraping off little pieces of black nail polish. "You can tell me anything," she said. "And it can stay between the two of us if that's what you want."

She didn't know what to expect, but it had to be huge to cause that sort of reaction from Jack. Maybe he didn't want everyone to know just yet.

"Something's changed," he said, his voice quiet and hoarse.

She struggled to understand the meaning behind the vague words. What could possibly have changed in that brief moment in the corridor?

"What's changed?" she asked, observing him for any change in his expression. "I promise, no matter what it is, I'll help you with it."

Jack's eyes met hers and she found a deep sadness in them. She dug her fingers into her legs to avoid grabbing him and holding him. He broke eye contact and stared at the shimmering water.

"I'll help you, okay? You know I'd never judge you," she said and scraped more nail polish off her thumb. "I love you."

Jack was silent, his dull eyes staring ahead. Despite wanting answers, she summoned all her patience and occupied herself with making her black nails look even worse.

"I've been so blind, Mav," Jack said, tightening the grip around his knees.

"What do you mean?" she said.

"I have feelings for Hiccup," he said so quietly, she almost missed it.

She stopped picking at her nails. It was probably the last thing she'd expected him to say. Jack had feelings for Hiccup? Of course, she'd noticed how close they'd grown in a very short time. How they acted like they'd been friends for years. How protective they were of each other. How Jack often touched Hiccup. She hadn't considered it was more than a unique friendship, but it made sense now that she thought about it.

"It's okay you feel that way," she said.

"It's not okay," Jack said and scowled at the water.

"Of course, it is. You can't control who you have feelings for. It just sort of happens," she said, trying her best to sound calm. She decided to try to touch him to give him some physical comfort. She rubbed gentle circles on his back, breathing a sigh of relief when he didn't flinch this time.

"It's... I…" Jack said, struggling to find the right words. He sighed and closed his eyes.

She stayed quiet, waiting for him to find out how to phrase it.

He opened his eyes again. "I don't know what to do with this," he said, his voice almost cracking.

She breathed in the fresh air and slowly exhaled. Of course, he was confused and melancholy. He was suddenly finding himself drawn to a guy, which had never happened before, as far as she knew. And it wasn't just any guy, but one of his close friends. He was probably scared about what was going to happen.

"I know," she said and rubbed more circles on his back. "But even though it's confusing and scary, it's totally normal. There's nothing wrong with it."

"I know. That's not…" he said and sighed.

What wasn't he telling her? After a few moments of silence, she cursed internally. Merlin's fucking beard, how can I be so stupid? Jack had panicked in a matter of seconds.

"What happened back in the corridor?" she said, soft and careful.

He stared at the water. She waited for him to gather enough courage to tell her. She'd wait for as long as it took. She focused on rubbing more soothing circles on his back and looking at the lake. The blue surface sparkled in the soft autumn sunlight. Fiery leaves fell from the trees and twirled towards the ground.

"I saw Astrid kiss him," he said, his eyebrows drawing closer together like the words physically pained him.

"And that's when you realized how you felt about him?"

"Yeah… I've been in fucking denial all this time," he said, bitterness tainting his voice. His eyes gleamed with unshed tears, and he blinked fast to get rid of them.

"Sometimes our minds try to protect us like that," she said, trying to find the words to reassure him. "You've probably been seeing little signs of it here and there but just explained it to yourself as something else, right?"

"Yeah," he said and let his hands slide down his face.

Mavis thought about Astrid and Hiccup. Any chance of something happening between Jack and Hiccup could possibly have been taken away now. "Are you worried he'll be with Astrid?"

Jack's shoulders tensed at the question. She stopped rubbing his back, not sure if the contact was wanted.

"Yeah. No. I don't know," he said, the frustration and sadness radiating off him in the way he glared at the huge rock they were sitting on.

She could feel the beginning of tears in her eyes. She didn't know if this could be fixed. If Hiccup didn't feel the same way, Jack was bound to be miserable.

"I don't know how I'll even look him in the eye now," Jack said, his head lowering.

"Hiccup's your friend. He cares about you. You should have seen how worried he was when he heard about what happened."

Jack snapped his head towards her. "He knows?"

He was probably worried Hiccup would put the puzzle pieces together. She had her doubts about that though. Hiccup was incredibly clever, but he definitely hadn't figured this out or she would have seen signs of it in Potions.

"Of course, he knows. He was worried about you because you weren't in class, and he could tell something was obviously wrong with me and Flynn and Merida."

"Where is he now?" Jack fidgeted with the hem of one of his blue sleeves.

"Everyone's out looking for you."

"I don't want to see him right now," Jack said and curled in on himself like an animal with no escape route.

"That's okay, that's okay," she said, holding her hands up in her hurry to reassure him. "Look, I'll take you back to the dormitory and we'll talk more, just the two of us. I'll let the others know I've found you but that you don't want to see anyone right now. Would that be okay?" she said.

He nodded, and relief washed over her. She pulled out the paper Hiccup had given her, a textbook, and her quill from her satchel.

"What's that?"

"It's just a way to let the others know I've found you," she said, straightening out the paper on top of the book, so she could write properly.

"That was Hiccup's idea, right?" Jack asked with a strained smile.

"Yeah, it was."

Jack let out a brief chuckle but there was no joy in it. She'd never heard him laugh like that before. It wasn't right.

"Of course, it was," he said, his voice quiet.

She wrote a message to the others on the enchanted paper: I've found Jack. I'm taking him back to the dormitory to talk. He doesn't want to see anyone else right now, so please respect that, even though it's hard. I know you're all worried, but I promise I'll find a way to get out of classes for the rest of the day and take care of him. - Mavis.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the squelching water and dancing leaves, before the paper drew her attention. Several small messages had appeared on it. None of the others were happy about not being able to see Jack, but they were all relieved he'd been found, and they'd respect his privacy for now.

She sighed and savored the way it loosened up her tense shoulders. She read Hiccup's message twice at the bottom of the page:

Thank the gods. I was going out of my mind here. Can't really say I'm happy I can't see him, but I'll keep my distance for now. Just take care of him and tell him I'll do anything I can to help him when he's ready to talk about it. - Hiccup.

Would Jack be happy or sad to read Hiccup's concerned words? She debated with herself about whether to tell him or not.

"What are they saying?" Jack asked without much emotion and took the decision out of her hands.

She handed him the paper and his dull eyes, usually so full of life, read the messages. His expression didn't change until he reached that last message. A sad smile crawled onto his lips. "How can he possibly help, when he's the problem?"

"He's just worried. He obviously cares about you a lot. Anyone can see that."

"I know, but everything's just different now."

"Yeah, it is, but let's just focus on getting back to the dormitory for now, okay? We can talk more about it when we get there."

They walked back towards the castle in silence. She'd let Jack take the lead right now, as to whether he wanted to talk or just be lost in thought.

Inside the castle, the hallways were full of busy students on their way to their next class. Jack tensed up and stared down the corridor.

She put an arm around his shoulder and guided him down corridor after corridor, doing her best to shield him from other students. Thankfully, they made it to Gryffindor Tower without bumping into anyone they knew.

In the room he shared with Flynn, Liam, and Harry, Jack crawled onto his bed and sat cross-legged on the red bedspread with his back against the dark headboard.

She wrapped her hand around one of the wooden bedposts. "I need to go to Headmaster Lunar and get us excused from classes for the rest of the day, okay?"

He nodded, staring at his hands.

"Stay here. I'll be back as quickly as I can, and we'll talk."

When Jack didn't reply she walked back down the stairs, through the common room, and out through the portrait, her legs moving as fast as they possibly could without running. She wanted to get this over with and get back to Jack.

The headmaster had excused her and Jack for the rest of the day without any objections. She'd always liked Professor Lunar. He was kind and understanding, although he could be stern when situations required it.

Back in the dormitory, she found Jack sitting on his bed in the exact same position she'd left him in.

"We've been excused for the rest of the day, so don't worry about classes," she said and sat down on the end of the bed.

He nodded and gave her a small smile.

"What can I do to help? Anything at all," she said and leaned back against one of the bedposts.

"I don't know," Jack said and glanced out the window. He seemed less fragile now, more tired and resigned. "I don't know how I'm going to be around Hiccup now. What if I can't act normal? What if he finds out and we can't be friends anymore?"

She smiled at him. "I don't think that'll ever happen. I may not know Hiccup as well as you do, but he's a very understanding person."

"He is," Jack said with a tiny smile that slipped away as quickly as it had appeared.

She wanted to pull him into a hug but fiddled with the corner of the bedspread instead. "He'd understand, okay? Even if you told him about your feelings, I'm sure he'd understand."

"I'll never tell him about that."

"Jack, come on. You can't keep this bottled up forever. Sooner or later, you're going to have to tell him," she said. It was not a realistic scenario to keep this hidden forever.

"I'm not going to tell him," Jack said and grabbed one of the pillows and held it tight against his chest.

"So, you're just going to be his friend? Be around him every day for the next year and a half without ever letting him know how you feel about him?"

Jack winced at her words and usually, she'd feel bad about that, but he needed to wake up and face the truth. He could keep Hiccup in the dark for a while, but it wouldn't last.

"That was my plan," Jack said and stared at the pillow in his arms. "I'm hoping it'll just go away in time."

Mavis shook her head. Jack was in denial. Sure, crushes could go away, but Jack and Hiccup were so close, and they were going to be around each other every day for a long time. She doubted his feelings would disappear. They'd probably only grow stronger.

"Is there anything I can do?" she said.

"Just help me be around him. It'll probably be really difficult at first," Jack said and hugged the pillow tighter.

"Of course. I'll do anything I can," she said with a small smile. She glanced at her flaky black nails when a thought popped into her head. "Do you want me to find out what happened between Astrid and Hiccup? I can ask her about it. I'll just say I saw them in the corridor and was wondering what was going on?"

He nodded. With the pillow clutched in his arms, he reminded her of the first time she found out about his recurring nightmares when they'd both gone to the common room in the middle of the night in their second year.

"I'll ask her at dinner," she said. Hopefully, Astrid would tell her about it, but it might be too personal. She had to try though.

Jack sighed and crawled underneath the bedspread and the duvet. He rested his head on the pillows. She moved a little to give him some more space to stretch his legs out.

"Maybe you should get some sleep? I'll stay with you," she said and patted his leg.

"Yeah," Jack said and pointed towards the nightstand.

She jumped off the bed and fished out the familiar purple potion from the drawer. She and Jack both used Dreamless Sleep sometimes to avoid the nightmares. Now, it seemed like he didn't want to risk any dreams at all.

He grimaced at the foul taste of the potion, and Mavis smiled. It truly tasted horrible. Like a mix between dishwater and wet dog.

It didn't take long before Jack's eyelids began to droop. Mavis kept a hand on his leg, while he drifted off into a peaceful sleep. She watched him for a few moments, making sure he was asleep, before heading to her own dormitory to get a book.

When she returned, she found Jack just as she'd left him. She plopped down on Flynn's bed and tried to get lost in the book. It was a Fantasy novel with vampires that Merida had given her. But her mind couldn't concentrate. Her thoughts kept wandering to Jack and Hiccup. She sighed when she reached the end of the page and couldn't remember a single thing she'd read.

She had no idea if Hiccup would ever feel the same way about Jack, but she found herself thinking they'd be good for each other.

Hiccup pushed his food around on his plate with his fork, not having much of an appetite. The grating noise of the Great Hall prickled in his head like hundreds of red insect bites.

He could feel Fishlegs and Rapunzel watching him, but they stayed silent, which he was grateful for. He didn't feel like talking. How had the day suddenly gone from completely normal to chaos and concern? Now, Astrid had feelings for him and wanted an answer in a few days and Jack had had some kind of anxiety attack and struggled with a problem he didn't have the faintest idea what was about.

He took a sip of his juice, the fresh tangy taste lingering in his mouth. He should eat something but getting some juice in his stomach was better than nothing.

He'd asked Mavis about Jack as soon as she came into the Great Hall with Merida and Flynn, but she'd said Jack wasn't ready for anyone else to know what happened. He'd reluctantly accepted that. Jack had been more than patient with him and his secrets, not pushing him to say more than he wanted to, so the least he could do was repay that favor. Hopefully, Jack would choose to tell him about it at some point.

He stared at the mashed potatoes on his plate. Used his fork to poke little holes all over it. It had to be something massive for Jack to react that way. He could usually handle anything. Gods, he hoped it wasn't something about his parents or his sister. That would be too horrible.

"Hiccup?" Rapunzel said. Those caring eyes of hers almost looked regretful for pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Have you thought about what you're going to do with Astrid?" she said, lowering her voice, so no one else would hear them.

He'd told Rapunzel and Fishlegs about the encounter with Astrid after they'd finished the rest of their classes when Mavis had found Jack. It'd been impossible for him to concentrate though, his mind constantly occupied by thoughts of Jack and Astrid.

"Yeah, but I'm not really any closer to an answer," he said and sighed. Astrid had kissed him. He couldn't deny that his heartbeat had quickened, and his mind had gone blank, but he wasn't sure if that was because of Astrid or just because he was kissed by someone he cared about.

"Sorry. I know it's a lot to take in. And everything with Jack too," Rapunzel said and gave him a sad smile.

"Yeah… I really hope he's okay. I wish I could see him," he said and stabbed the mashed potatoes some more. But Mavis had made it clear Jack didn't want to see anyone and no matter how horrible it made him feel, he'd respect that.

"Yeah, me too," Fishlegs said and Rapunzel nodded.

"I wonder what happened for him to react that way?" Rapunzel said and grabbed one of her long golden locks, wrapping it around a finger.

"Yeah, it's not like him at all," Fishlegs said.

"I have no idea," Hiccup said and let out a long sigh, letting them see how affected he was by this. "I've been thinking about what it could be ever since Mavis wrote that note to me in Potions, but… I can't think of anything that makes sense."

"And you know him better than we do," Rapunzel said.

"Yeah, but…" Hiccup said and shook his head, "Everyone has secrets."

Jack blinked to focus his vision, as the pleasant numbness of the sleeping world faded away. He sat up in his warm bed and scratched his head. The thoughts he wanted to escape from rushed back into his mind, taunting and nauseating. He sighed.

"Hey," a soothing voice said. Mavis rested on her stomach on Flynn's bed with a book in her hands.

"Hey", he said and glanced at the cover of the book. Vampire novel. Of course.

"How are you feeling?" She closed the book, rolled onto her side, and looked him over.

"Like shit," he told her. He never had to lie to Mavis. She'd understand.

"I brought you some food if you want some," Mavis said and pointed to a plate sitting on his nightstand.

"Thanks, but I don't think I can eat anything right now," he said and gave her an apologetic smile. If he forced himself to eat, he'd probably be sick.

"Jack."

He met her eyes. They looked… uncertain?

"Yeah?"

"I… I talked to Astrid at dinner," she said and sat up on the bed. She gripped a fistful of her black cloak.

"Oh," Jack said. His chest felt tight. Shit. This was going to be bad news. They were probably a couple now. He'd lost Hiccup before he even realized he liked him.

"She said she has feelings for Hiccup," Mavis said.

Get in line. Fuck. What was he going to do now?

"And that she wants them to be together. She told me she confessed to him, but he was way too shocked to give her any kind of answer. So, she's given him a few days to think it over, and then they'll figure out what's going to happen," Mavis said and picked at her chipped black nails, a sign of stress that'd become familiar to him over the years.

"Oh," he said and pressed his trembling lips together. Shit. This was going to go on for days? How was he going to make it through that kind of torture? He wanted to find Hiccup. Ask him about this. But he couldn't. He wasn't even supposed to know about it, and he wasn't ready to see him.

"Sorry," Mavis said with a sad smile. "But maybe Hiccup won't want them to get together."

"Yeah, except that he had a crush on her when they were younger, so why wouldn't he?" Jack said and couldn't hold back the bitterness in his voice. Nausea rose in his throat. Was he actually going to be sick from this?

"Had a crush," Mavis said.

She had him there. That didn't quell his worries though. Hiccup and Astrid... Somehow, it just made sense. They were close friends, they'd grown up together, they came from the same place, had the same culture. Everything. He blinked away some unshed tears.

The jumble of thoughts and feelings sucked the energy right out of him. He felt like he could sleep for years. Rolling onto his side, he sunk into the soft mattress. He didn't want to think anymore. Didn't want to feel anything.

"I'm going back to sleep," he said and pulled the thick duvet up to his chin. Warm and safe.

"You've already slept for hours?"

"Yeah, but I just want a break from all of this."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Doesn't matter," he said and despised how wobbly his voice sounded.

Mavis sighed. "Okay. I'm going down to the common room with Merida and Flynn, but I'll come up once in a while to check on you, okay?"

He nodded and reached into the drawer in his nightstand to fish out another vial of Dreamless Sleep. He downed the repulsive purple potion and drifted off into the sleeping world. A much more uncomplicated place, where he could get some rest from the chaos of his emotions.

Even though Jack wasn't a morning person, breakfast in the Great Hall had always been a good way to start the day. He'd have delicious pancakes and a warm mug of tea, while he listened to his friends' conversations and joined in with a funny comment once in a while.

Today, however, he'd skipped that completely and slept in. He'd been excused from classes for an extra day by the headmaster, but Mavis didn't get off the hook so easily.

Staying away from classes, holed up in the dormitory, gave him a strange restlessness in his bones. He paced around the room, bare feet against the smooth wooden planks, the same route over and over until the dizziness became too much. He'd tried to do some homework to occupy his mind, but he couldn't even read one sentence and remember it, so what was the point?

He stopped pacing and took in his messy bed, bookcase and nightstand and decided to sort and organize his stuff, which spoke volumes of how desperate he was to keep himself busy. He started with the bed, fluffing the pillows, shaking the duvet and draping it over the bed, and smoothing out the bedspread on top.

The prospect of seeing Hiccup again later had conflicting emotions roiling inside him. What if he couldn't act normally around him? What if he screwed everything up? But at the same time… he couldn't deny that he missed him. He was used to being around him several times a day, every day. But now he'd been separated from him yesterday and he wouldn't see him until tonight. No matter how conflicted he was about it, he couldn't put it off forever, so he'd join his friends at dinner and hopefully, he'd be able to be around the guy who constantly occupied his thoughts.

He started taking things out of his messy bookcase and putting them on the bed. Thick textbooks, framed pictures, that snow globe Emma gave him a few years ago with a little replica of their house inside, so he could always have his home with him at school, a Ballycastle Bats Quidditch team flag, a ninja figurine Mavis had made for him in Art class once, a yeti plushie and a metal box full of various Muggle sweets.

He wiped the shelves on the bookcase off with a cloth and started putting things back in a more organized way. After stacking the textbooks, he looked at the framed pictures one by one before placing them on the shelves. There was a picture of him with Anna, North and Emma on Christmas Eve a year ago in front of the huge Christmas tree, there was one of him with Flynn, Merida and Mavis by the Shrieking Shack and the last one was a picture of him and Emma building a giant fort in their backyard out of cardboard boxes. He had a picture of his birth parents in his nightstand. It was too personal to leave out in the open.

He smiled at the happy memories from the pictures, but it melted away when Hiccup once again popped into his head. The more Jack tried to stop his thoughts from returning to Hiccup, the more his mind insisted on keeping him there. In that moment, he was glad he hadn't gotten around to getting a picture of Hiccup, Rapunzel and Fishlegs yet, because he'd probably stare at Hiccup's face for hours and feel even worse.

When he was done organizing his bookcase, he tried to write a letter to his family but had to give up, because the intrusive thoughts about Hiccup became impossible to push away.

He had no more energy for pacing or trying to busy himself, so he sat by the window and watched the grey skies and the drizzle of rain.

He'd been so stupid. It was right there all along in the back of his mind.

When he thought about Hiccup, he couldn't deny his feelings any longer. His heart thumped with excitement and a soft warmth spread through his chest. He just wanted to be near him constantly. But he couldn't stop all the anxious doubts this realization brought. What did this mean? What was he now? Bisexual? Demisexual? Something else? And what would happen now? Would he be able to hide this from Hiccup, so he wouldn't destroy their friendship? Fuck, he hoped so. Even the thought of losing Hiccup was unbearable.

The raindrops drummed against the window and slid down the glass in long wet trails. He sighed and followed a particular drop with his eyes until it had glided all the way down.

Hiccup was such a strange but fascinating combination of traits. Awkward and sensitive yet strong, stubborn and tough, able to fight and use weapons, always ready to defend those he cared about, even risk his life for them. Intelligent, quick-witted and able to put pretty much anyone in their place with his sarcasm. Creative and inventive, making everything from beautiful drawings to dangerous contraptions. And despite his painful past, he was one of the kindest and most understanding people Jack knew.

Not to mention that Hiccup was like a fucking puzzle. Full of mysteries and surprises. Secrets. Jack was well aware he hadn't collected all the vital pieces yet. It was one of the things that had drawn him to Hiccup in the first place. The urge to figure him out. To discover what was behind those walls.

He put his palm on the window. Chilly glass against warm skin. He was so screwed.

When he stood outside the Great Hall that evening, he took a moment before going inside. The loud noises of eager voices and clinking glasses and cutlery only worsened the restless buzzing inside him. His hands twitched by his sides. This was it.

Merida and Flynn shot glances at him. They still had no idea what was wrong with him, but they didn't ask questions, despite how worried and curious they had to be. They were amazing.

Mavis patted him on the back. "It'll be okay," she said. "We're here."

He nodded and stepped inside the massive Hall, where the wall of noise only grew stronger. The loudness pressed in on him, squeezing his chest, making it harder to breathe. Before he could even think about it, he looked towards the Ravenclaw table, where Hiccup, Fishlegs and Rapunzel were talking and eating. Despite everything, he smiled at the sight.

He was about to go to the Gryffindor table, when Rapunzel spotted them. Her face lit up with a smile. Fishlegs gave them a wave and Hiccup immediately got to his feet and hurried towards them.

Jack felt like his legs were going to fold and send him tumbling to the ground. Shit, shit, shit. What the hell was he going to do?

"Hey," Hiccup said with a smile, standing in front of him with bright eyes. He looked so happy to see him.

"Hey," Jack said, relieved his voice didn't tremble.

He didn't have time to say anything else. Hiccup pulled him into a hug. His heart stuttered in his chest. His breaths turned shaky. A surge of warm, fluttery energy spread through him.

Oh god… was this how it was going to be from now on? Every time Hiccup touched him? How the fuck was he going to handle that?

He wrapped his arms around Hiccup and savored his comforting warmth and the faint scent of pine. Hopefully, Hiccup didn't notice his shallow breaths and sprinting heartbeat. God, how he wanted to hold him like this all the time.

A moment later, Hiccup pulled away and Jack instantly longed for more of that addictive closeness.

"Are you okay? We were all worried about you," Hiccup said, those beautiful green eyes so full of concern.

"Yeah, I'm better now. I just… I have some things going on that I don't really want to talk about. For now, at least. I just need to get back to normal," he said, putting all his effort into keeping his voice steady. He forced himself to keep eye contact, even though it was hard to look into Hiccup's eyes because it made him feel like a fragile baby deer in the middle of a dangerous forest.

"Okay. I won't ask then. You can tell me whenever you're ready," Hiccup said and gave him one of those familiar crooked smiles. "Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"Thanks, Hic," he said and focused on not letting his face show just how mushy and pathetic his heart was. Hiccup cared about him. Hiccup was there if he needed anything. The problem was that he needed Hiccup.

"No problem. I'll see you, okay?" Hiccup said, looking back and forth between him and Flynn, Merida and Mavis.

"Yeah, see you," Jack said with a small smile.

Hiccup gave them a cute little wave and headed back towards Rapunzel and Fishlegs.

He sighed in relief. It was over and he'd managed to hide his feelings. Hopefully, this meant he could be around Hiccup without revealing anything, despite how much effort it took.

"Are you okay?" Mavis whispered to him as soon as Hiccup was out of earshot.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just get something to eat," he said.

It wasn't the whole truth. Seeing Hiccup again put him on edge. He wanted to hold him again and never let go, but he also wanted to run far away from him.

They took their seats at the Gryffindor table and the sight of all the golden bowls and trays filled with food had his stomach bubbling uncomfortably. He had to eat something, but he didn't want to.

Merida wasted no time in piling potatoes, roasted chicken and green beans onto her plate in impressive amounts. Flynn didn't shoot a funny comment her way like he usually did but focused on carving up some ham on his plate, while Mavis grabbed some bread. The silence was unnatural for them.

Jack poured some juice into his cup. He took a sip but couldn't even enjoy the fresh sweetness. The bowls and trays on the table were packed with fresh delicious food but there was nothing he wanted.

Of course, his thoughts drifted to Hiccup. There was no escape from it. Hiccup must have been really worried to hug him like that. It was rare for him to initiate that kind of contact, even with Rapunzel and Fishlegs.

He smiled to himself, but it disappeared when he spotted Astrid sitting further down the table, talking with her friends. He tightened the grip around his cup. She'd kissed Hiccup. That image would be burned into his memory forever. But he couldn't blame her, no matter how easy and relieving it would be. She didn't know about his feelings and he and Hiccup weren't together. But those thoughts didn't calm the urge to grab every single golden plate on their long House table and smash them straight into the stone floor.

He turned his attention back to his friends. They gave him concerned glances that they thought he didn't notice. He decided to put some mashed potatoes on his plate and eat a little for their sake.

"So, how's it going with your art project?" Flynn said and shoved another piece of ham into his mouth.

"I think it's going pretty well," Mavis said. "I've finished outlining it now. I'm having some doubts about some of the nuances in the colour scheme though."

While Mavis told them more about the colours, Jack glanced at the Ravenclaw table.

Rapunzel was telling Hiccup and Fishlegs something with a grin on her face and wild gesturing. Hiccup started laughing, his eyes bright and his nose scrunching adorably, and Jack couldn't help smiling. He was so beautiful. It was something special when Hiccup laughed like that, completely open. Jack wanted to make him laugh that way every day.

He sighed. Hiccup had no idea how amazing he was. He was just sitting there, completely unaware of it.

"I don't think you ever told us what you're actually painting?" Merida said, chewing noisily on a chicken wing.

He reluctantly turned his attention away from Hiccup, because even though he wanted to stare at him forever, it would look weird if anyone saw it. He couldn't risk being stupid about this.

"Actually, it's the four of us," Mavis said and smiled.

"Really?" Flynn said, sounding excited about that.

Jack smiled and took another sip of his juice. It was a nice thought that Mavis wanted to paint them. She'd done it before, and each time the result was amazing.

"I'm using that picture we took last year, when we went to Hogsmeade, as a reference," she said.

Jack remembered it vividly. They'd had so much fun that day with snowball fights, sweets, hot chocolate and Christmas shopping. When they decided to pass the Shrieking Shack, they'd taken a picture together in front of it. The same picture he had framed in his bookcase. He smiled at the memory.

"Oh, that was the best day!" Merida said and Flynn hummed in agreement.

"It really was," Mavis said. "Hopefully, I'll have it done by Christmas."

"Great! Speaking of Christmas, we're going Christmas shopping again this year, right?" Flynn asked.

"Duh, of course, we are," Merida said and grabbed another chicken wing to gnaw on.

"Yeah, I'm up for it. Jack?" Mavis said.

"Yeah, of course," Jack said and gave them a small smile. It'd become a tradition of theirs, just like it was a tradition to buy presents for each other every year.

"Great!" Flynn said with a grin.

"What do you think I should buy for my brothers?" Merida said. "It's always hard to find something they'll enjoy that won't also drive my parents completely bonkers, so I'll end up dealing with mum going mental."

"Let's brainstorm some ideas for it," Mavis said.

Jack enjoyed the company of his three best friends, even if he wasn't as social as he usually was. Just being around them was soothing. Listening to their banter, hearing their laughter, reminiscing when someone brought up the past. It was all comforting and safe, unlike the complicated feelings and thoughts he was harboring inside, lurking in his mind constantly. He yearned for some relief from it, but that wasn't possible.

All through the meal, he had to restrain himself, so he wouldn't constantly look at Hiccup. How pathetic was that?

When the four of them left their House table to head towards the common room, Jack shot a quick look at the Ravenclaw table, but frowned when he realized Hiccup, Fishlegs and Rapunzel were already gone.

Hiccup needed time to breathe. To organize his thoughts. To try and find a way of dealing with all of this. All through the day, he hadn't been able to focus in any of his classes, because his mind kept drifting to Jack and Astrid and what he was going to do.

It didn't help that he shared a lot of classes with Astrid. Her presence only stressed him out, because it was a constant reminder of the decision he had to make. Jack's absence in class also worsened his emotional turmoil. He'd been anxious to see him, so when Jack showed up at dinner, he'd been beyond relieved. Despite looking a bit uncertain and less carefree than he usually did, Jack appeared to be okay. But it was clear that something was bothering him and that he still didn't want to share what it was.

After dinner, he told Rapunzel and Fishlegs that he needed to go think. As usual, they looked at him with those concerned eyes. They didn't like it when he isolated himself, but they also knew it was how he dealt with things. He'd gone straight to Toothless. He needed to be around his best friend.

As he sat on the ground inside the cave where Toothless stayed, the small fire he'd made bathed their surroundings in warm light, casting shadows along the cave walls. Toothless lay next to him and nudged him on the arm to show he knew something was wrong. He'd done the same thing yesterday, but Hiccup hadn't wanted to talk about it then, so they'd just gone flying right away.

"You know me too well, bud," he said and scratched the top of Toothless' head.

Toothless let out a low warbling sound that was meant to comfort him and he watched Hiccup intently with those big, caring eyes.

Hiccup sighed. "Things are just messed up right now, Toothless."

Toothless lowered his head and pressed his snout against Hiccup's shoulder a few times, encouraging him to speak. Hiccup smiled softly at him.

"Astrid told me yesterday she has feelings for me and that she wants us to be together but I'm not sure that's what I want," he said. Most people would probably look at him like he was a mental patient, talking to a dragon like this, but dragons were intelligent, and Toothless always seemed to understand his words. Hiccup spent time every day telling him about what was going on in his life, now that they couldn't be by each other's side all the time like they were back home.

Toothless let out a deep sigh, showing he understood the situation.

"I know, right? This is just too much. I really don't know what to do," he said and ran a hand through his hair. "And something's going on with Jack too. He has a big problem that he doesn't want to tell me about and I accept that, but it just worries me."

Toothless kept watching him with those green eyes filled with sympathy. The golden glow of the fire illuminated his black scales. Hiccup reached out and stroked the side of Toothless' head, warm and rough against his fingertips.

"It's just hard. I want to help him, but he won't let me."

Toothless flattened his ears and whined.

"Thanks, bud," Hiccup said and smiled at his best friend. He shook his head. "I guess I'm getting a taste of my own medicine here, huh? I've been keeping secrets from Jack right from the start and there are still plenty of things he doesn't know about. Now he's doing the same thing with me. It just bothers me that I can't do anything to protect him from it."

Toothless scooted closer and placed his large black head on one of Hiccup's legs. It was one of Toothless' ways of trying to comfort him. He stroked the top of Toothless' head in gentle movements and the Night Fury let out low content sounds. The closeness and the support were soothing for his mind. But he still couldn't keep the confused thoughts from swirling in his head, as he stared into the dancing flames of the fire.

What could he do for Jack? It was difficult to help him in any way when he didn't know what was wrong. So, in a way, all he could do was be a good friend to him. Let him know he was there for him.

He scratched Toothless behind one ear and Toothless wriggled in delight. Hiccup smiled but it melted away when Astrid popped into his head again.

He didn't want to mess up their friendship. But it seemed no matter what he chose to do, it had the potential to ruin everything between them. If he chose to be with her, it might not last, and they could end up despising each other. If he turned her down, things could become so tense and awkward that their friendship couldn't survive.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He was trapped in all of this.

"No one should ever confess they have feelings for me, Toothless," he said. "I should just be alone for the rest of my life. That I know how to do. I don't know how to handle any of this."

Author's note:

So... Jack was the one who realized his feelings first :)

The title of the chapter is a line from the song "A Comet Appears."