...Sorry guys. Editing this monster was a total nightmare and took a lot of time. I'm one of those people who rarely gets sick and when I do I get REALLY sick. For example, never had the flu but a month after starting college I contracted H1N1 (aka Swine Flu). Spending 2 weeks in quarantine was fun! This time it was a simple head cold that turned into a major sinus infection. I was on a lot of pseudoephedrine when I wrote 3/4 of this chapter which was a huge mistake...btw that stuff is the main ingredient in meth! Works great for sinus problems!
Anyways, enough of my whining! I promised you guys a HUGE chapter to make up for the last one so here it is :D
"Jeeze Bon we were getting worried! What took you guys so long to get out here?"
"I had to practically carry him the whole way here give me a break."
I hear a heavy thud and the squeak of springs, probably Suguro flopping down into the arm chair. I can make out much quieter squeaks and groans, Konekomaru and Shima probably following suit with the couch facing it.
"We also came across a body in the rubble and a ghoul in a little girl's body." There's a collective gasp at that. "I know we expected to see that sort of stuff but Jesus…" I can picture Suguro leaning forward with his face in his hands. His voice is sort of muffled like he is. "Rin didn't take any of it well. I didn't expect him to brush it off, but he just fell apart after I exercised the ghoul."
I know that normally I would jump in and be defensive, try to defend my pride, but I'm so numb I don't care. After the whole incident with the ghoul I just shut down. I know part of me was embarrassed to have broken down like that, in front of Suguro of all people, but a larger portion of me drowned those feelings in grief until everything just stopped. Which is fine, the numbness and disconnect is a lot easier to deal with then those soul crushing emotions.
After the tears stopped Suguro had asked if I was up for moving again. I was grateful he didn't ask if I was ok because frankly it would have been a stupid. Obviously I wasn't but I was up to getting away from there. After a quick nod of my head against his chest he slid his arm under my shoulders and started the slow pace back up.
I curl up tighter against the wall, ear still pressed against the plaster to listen in on their conversation.
"Sounds like what I went through." I perk up a bit at Shima's voice and look over at Yukio sorting through the backpacks and duffle on the bottom bunk of the bed. I assume they're the same ones from the hospital plus one more and more stuff since both bags are straining the zippers. Yukio pulls a toothbrush out and lays it next to one pulled from the other bag.
It's late afternoon now, the sun is starting to set outside our west-facing window. I don't know how everyone organized this specific apartment as the rendezvous point but the guys were waiting for us. I didn't ask anyways. It's nothing glamorous, just a basic three bedroom apartment that's faced minimal damage. Someone has clearly tried to cleanup though since all the glass from the broken windows are gone. Someone has also gotten rid of the pictures. I can see the outline of where they were on the walls and in the mix of dust and ash on solid surfaces. Probably an attempt to make it not feel like we broke into someone's home.
When we got here I didn't even acknowledge Konekomaru and Shima but it's not like Suguro really gave me a chance. He simply asked where Yukio was after opening the door and dumped me in this kid's bedroom. He told me to get some sleep, that we weren't done yet. I just slid to the floor after the door closed, body pressed against the wall shared with the living area. I didn't say anything to my brother and neither did he, he just continued to sort through our things and I started examining our temporary home from my place on the floor.
"We didn't have trouble getting the stuff from the dorms or even getting out into the city but the further in we got he just kind of…I don't really know how to describe it to be honest." Shima continues after a long pause. "Remember back when we were in the hospital with Koneko for his arm after finding out about Rin? He was so cold and distant, especially when he explained everything. It wasn't until Sheimi accused him of not caring that he snapped and showed any emotion."
I hear hums of agreement followed by another sigh and more springs squeaking.
"I think that's how Teach deals with stuff, he just sort of shuts down. The further we walked the more distant he got. We weren't really making conversation, but I could feel him pull away. His expression got stiffer, he stopped looking around, he just sort of followed me."
"Makes sense." That's Konekomaru's voices that interjects. "Rin hasn't ever hidden what he's thinking or feeling. The 'heart on your sleeves' type. They're probably just now really processing what all has happened. I mean, they really haven't had time to and it's not like they've been out and seen what it's like. Between dealing with nearly dying and suddenly being part demon they've had a lot to think about."
"True, I can't imagine what's going through their minds. They may not really be able to for a while…"
"Oh great so now we have to deal with PTSD shit from those two?!" Suguro groans loudly. "I so don't know how to deal with that kind of crap."
"Well PTSD might be a bit of a stretch but at least it sounds like Rin is handling things better than his brother. Bottling things up isn't healthy."
"I agree, we probably should keep a close eye on Teacher to be safe."
Silence follows for a while before Suguro speaks up again.
"So what's the situation like regarding food? I'm freaking starving after everything today."
"Well it looks like-"
"Rin?"
I jump, nearly smacking my head against the wall and causing Yukio to yank his hand back from my shoulder.
"I need to check your side." He holds up fresh gauze in his other hand. Oh yeah, I'm still injured…
"Your body is finally starting to heal."
I'm sitting where Yukio was only moments ago with a grip on a rung supporting the top bunk to keep my arm out of the way. My shirt is sitting in my lap along with my tail because it kept flicking and annoying my brother. It's starting to get dark and I wonder how he can see considering he still has to wear his glasses.
"The reaction with the holy water is disappearing." He runs a finger over what must have been a line. "The skin is still raised and discolored though, so you'll probably have really bad scarring."
"I think you mean bad ass scarring." I mutter to try and lighten the mood. It works, Yukio lets out a soft chuckle.
"Yes I suppose." He sighs and leans back a bit. "Anyways, do you feel any numbness?" He runs his finger over that spot again.
"No, why?"
"Good, that means you didn't experience any nerve damage on top of all this." He sits back against a supporting post with a sigh prompting me to turn and look at him. At first glance he looks fine, every bit the cool and collected exorcist/teacher everyone seems to know him as. I can tell he's withdrawing into his own head though. His tail is now curled up around the post, his shoulders are sagging as if being crushed by a weight, and his brows are furrowed. I remember what Shima had said not too long ago and speak up.
"What's wrong?" I know he won't say what exactly is on his mind but at least I can pull him out for just a moment. Getting Yukio to open up and say what's wrong has always been a challenge, one I've since pretty much given up on. If something is bothering him he usually offers some sort of decoyed conversation topic. It's nothing obvious, anyone who doesn't know him wouldn't see it as a distraction for what's really on his mind but I do. I always go along with it though because it works better than harping on him and saying I know he's lying. Plus it gets him onto that topic too, a temporary fix to what's really going on.
"It's nothing." I somehow manage to keep myself from rolling my eyes at the expected response. "I just don't like that we don't have a real doctor to look at you."
Ok wasn't expecting that. "What do you mean? Aren't you one?"
"No, a Doctoral Meister isn't the same as a Medical Doctor." He shifts his gaze to the duffle next to him on the bed. "I have training in some areas of medicine but mostly in field first-aid. Doctoral exorcists are trained primarily in how to treat injuries from demons and a bit on how to fight using alternative weapons like various plants. The field first-aid is really just treatment for basic injuries and how to keep someone from dying before MD's arrive."
Oh. I feel kind of dumb for just assuming now.
"Anyways, it's a minimum of 8 years in post-secondary school and 4-7 years of residency to become a doctor." I catch a look of longing and disappointment before he looks back at the wound near my navel. I suddenly remember something from years ago, back when we were little kids. I had asked Yukio what he wanted to be when he grew up. He had looked down, embarrassed and unsure before stuttering out he wanted to be a doctor. I remember being proud of him, saying he'll be a great one someday, but that was all before he started training huh? I never put those things together. My brother probably still has dreams of being a normal human doctor, of going through medical school, wearing a white coat in some fancy hospital, of healing the sick and injured. What does he think now? This isn't the doctor he wanted to be, is it? Will he ever be?
"It looks like you have some fresh bruising from moving around today but nothing I'm concerned about." His statement brings me back from my musings. I look down as well and see the mix of blues and purples around my stitches, a sharp contrast to the now yellow and green of my old bruises. The silver lines have definitely started to recede but I can see what Yukio means. I trace the path of one line at the stitches all the way to just above the waistband of my sweat pants on my left side. The silver color stops about an inch away but the skin is still slightly raised and pink, exactly like a scar.
Cool!
There's a soft knock on the door before it cracks open enough to reveal Shima's face.
"Hey guys, sorry to bother you, but we were wondering if you might be up to poking around the kitchen Okumura. We know there's no electricity, but maybe you can work your magic with food and we can have something other than cold mush from a can?"
"Sure, no problem man." I tug my shirt back on and get up to follow him to the kitchen. I realize Yukio isn't following me when I get to the door. "Aren't you coming?" I ask over my shoulder.
"Yeah, I'll be there in just a second." Yukio gives a weak smile and waves me off.
Fucking Yukio…no sense in pushing it though. I heave an annoyed sigh and follow Shima out to the kitchen.
30 minutes later I'm mixing a curry dish on the stove top. It really isn't magic despite what they think. I mean really, you'd think I'd performed a miracle lighting the stove! A gas stove! Seriously, not that big of a deal. I'd learned about this years ago when a bad snowstorm had knocked out the power for nearly four days. Sure the clock and ignition don't work but a twist of the knob, a bit of my flames, and ta-da! We have a working stove top.
I found a few cans of coconut milk and some unopened red curry paste in the cupboards so that made things easy. What I hadn't expected was the horrible smell when I opened the fridge to find some fresh veggies. I knew there would be rotting food after so many days without electricity but dear god! No sooner had I cracked it open did I slam it shut. Soured milk and yogurt, rotting meat, decaying produce, the smell made me feel sick immediately. I gave up hope of salvaging anything in there but opened the freezer, hoping some things would still be cold enough. As luck would have it there was a bag of chicken breasts that survived. Chicken and canned veggie curry it is.
I'm checking on the rice when the front door opens. Izumo and Sheimi with Kuro on her shoulder walk in wearing the same huge backpacks we have looking exhausted. I'm a bit shocked to see them, but mostly because I haven't even thought about them all day. I instantly feel guilty.
"You're here!" Shima jumps up off the couch and pulls the girls into a hug. Izumo makes a face but accepts the contact, Sheimi gives a soft laugh, and Kuro jumps off immediately. The demon cat runs up to me and rubs my leg happily.
"Man I hate not having our cell phones to keep in touch, makes me nervous." Shima pulls back to look at them with a hand on each of their shoulders. Izumo shrugs it off along with her backpack.
"I don't like it either but everything went fine for our part." Sheimi looks over at me and smiles. "Is everyone here? Everyone ok?"
"Yeah we're all good." Suguro grumbles. He'd fallen asleep in the arm chair but now he's groggily sitting up. "All went according to plan?"
"I guess, it was a long time before there was any activity in the hospital. We sat outside for hours before people started showing up to look for you guys." Izumo groans.
Sheimi nods in agreement. "Kuro led a group into the forest but it was well after sunrise so we couldn't rely on the low level demons to intervene. We made a show of fighting them but Nee had to give us some cover to get away after. What about you guys?"
"Fine, fine. Koneko bought the train tickets and boarded no problem. Nobody bothers the people getting off, just on so he slipped out a few cars down and got here first." Suguro stretches his arms over his head, groaning when a shoulder pops. He gets up and walks over to me to check on the food status, ending the conversation.
Only a few minutes later and everyone is seated around the coffee table. The girls have claimed the couch, Suguro seems to have taken permanent residence in the armchair, and everyone else has brought in the dining room chairs so we can spend the meal together. I opt to sit on the floor next to the armchair with Kuro though. The demon cat hasn't left my side and I honestly feel better having him next to me.
Everyone complements my cooking skills before their first bites. I offer a weak smile in thanks before looking back down at my plate. The food smells good and I know it tastes good from all the sampling I did, but looking at the meal now, I can't even bring myself to take a bite.
Suguro and Izumo get up for seconds after only a few minutes, earning a few ribbings on their appetite. After piling another heaping portion they push the others to get more as well since we can't save any leftovers so Sheimi and Shima get up as well with mostly empty dishes. My plate is still full but thoroughly mixed from pushing everything around. Kuro finishes his plate and I put mine in front of him without a second though. The demon cat gives a happy chirrup before diving into his second helping. Suguro sees this and nudges my shoulder with his knee.
"You need to eat man." He says softly.
"I'm not hungry." I mumble back. I pull my knees up to my chest and watch the flickering flames of the candles on the coffee table. Sheimi, Konekomaru, and Izumo managed to find quite a few though a couple were obviously meant to be for decoration only. While they'd been doing that Shima and Suguro had covered the windows with whatever they could find. Curtains were shut, blinds lowered, and any not covered or still let in light got sheets pinned up. Apparently there's a lot of patrols. Yukio mentioned them the other night and Konekomaru found out that they mostly go out after sunset when everything is more active. The last thing we need is someone noticing candle light in what's supposed to be an abandoned city. It isn't much, but with how dark everything is it'll be obvious from blocks away.
"Your body is just now starting to heal and we don't know when we'll get a decent meal again."
"I said I'm not hungry." I snap back. I feel a little bad immediately after I say it since Suguro is right and I know should eat. Although I hadn't intended to, he doesn't give me a chance to apologize, he just shoves his half eaten second helping into my hands.
"Eat it before I shove it down your throat." He growls. He crosses his arms and flops back into the arm chair. I glare at him, not at all pleased with his treatment but I violently stab a piece of potato for a bite anyways. Everyone is relatively quiet, conversations have died out though there weren't many to begin with.
"Why are you guys doing this?" The question is quiet, hardly above a whisper, but it might as well have been screamed for how everyone reacts. Yukio hasn't said a single word to anyone all day. He would nod or shake his head but that was about it. Everyone had jolted when they heard him speak and snapped their gaze to him. He isn't looking back at them though, just at his plate. I look down and notice he's only taken a few bites as well.
"What do you mean Yuki?" Sheimi asks softly. She's sitting closest to him and I can tell she wants to reach out to him, probably for some comforting gesture, but something keeps her hand on the arm of the couch.
"Why are you guys doing this?!" He repeats the question but this time with venom. His grip on the plate is dangerous, threatening to break the porcelain. He slowly looks up but not at anyone, his gaze is far away. "You've thrown your lives away! You've fled the school so your education is gone! No longer will you be allowed to continue your training to become an exorcist! You've aided and abetted the escape of demons from The Vatican, so now you're facing criminal charges that will be a minimum punishment of jail time if they don't decide to execute you too! You've destroyed any future you may have for the sake of demons! So I ask again, why are you doing this?!"
Everyone is silent, processing my brother's outburst. Rarely does he lose his cool and when he does it's a force to be reckoned with. They've only seen it once or twice before, but seem to know just how serious the situation is.
As usual his logic is sound, his feelings accurate. I understand what he means and look at my friends. He's absolutely right, why are they giving up literally everything for us? This isn't some small thing that will blow over and all will go back to normal in the end. My friends are looking at criminal punishment if they're caught and no future in becoming exorcists if they aren't. There's no way they'll be able to go back to school, their training is over, done. Now what? What do they expect to do with their lives? We can't run forever…
Yukio tosses his plate onto the coffee table when no answers seem forthcoming. It isn't a long throw but it still clatters noisily, spilling some rice and sauce onto the wooden surface. He jumps up and turns on his heel to storm off towards the bedrooms, furry still clear. His tail is puffed and lashing to and fro, his shoulders are hunched, and his footsteps heavy, echoing through the apartment. I jump up to chase after him. I have no idea what to say or do, but he's my brother and I have to do something. I don't even get one step away when I feel pressure on my tail. I look down and see Suguro grasping it, just a few inches from the base of its junction with my spine. He gives a quick shake of his head, telling me not to go after him. I'm so confused. I keep looking at Suguro, even after I hear the door slam shut.
"Give him time." Konekomaru's voice is soft, placating like he's worried I'm going to snap too. "I know you want to help, but let's give him some space for now."
"Hey, Moriyama?" Suguro looks over at her, grip still firm on my tail. Her gaze shifts from the hallway to him. "You've known him the longest right?"
"Oh, yeah I suppose. It's only a few years though, when he first became an exorcist."
"Still, it's something." Shima looks from her to Suguro, a fork still in his mouth. "Thinking she should go with him when we split up again?"
"Yeah. Maybe he'll open up more to her. She's more of a friend to him too, we're still his students in his eyes." Konekomaru adds.
"Uh, hello! What about me! I'm his brother for god's sake!" I twist around to face them which causes my tail to be pulled through Suguro's hands. I try to ignore the sensation but I feel goosebumps erupt over my skin and my fur stand on end. I really hope Suguro doesn't notice or if he does he thinks it's like Yukio's reaction to being pissed off.
"Yeah, we're well aware of that fact Okumura." And we're back to that, so much for being on a first name basis. I start to roll my eyes when Suguro gives a slight tug on my tail. It was probably in jest, like a shove of the shoulder, but a traitorous moan crawls up my throat before I even realize what's happening. The sensation is akin to getting your hair pulled in the heat of the moment; sharp, a little painful, but oh so sweet as you're pulled into a toe curling kiss. My eyes had closed to revel in the sensation but they snap open when Suguro drops my tail like it had burned him. I can feel heat burn up the back of my neck as I realize what had just happened. I slowly look down at him, praying he didn't hear that.
He's gaping at me. Eyes wide, mouth open, cheeks pink, hand still out where he had been holding my tail. Fuck he heard that.
"Uh…so anyway." Shima is looking back and forth between us looking really confused. Thank god, maybe no one else noticed.
"Yeah, anyways." Suguro sits back in the chair and crosses his arms. He keeps his eyes on me the whole time. "We think he needs space and time to adjust."
"But I understand exactly what he's going through! This happened to me a year ago AND I watched our dad die!"
"Yes, but he probably won't open up completely."
Konekomaru nods in agreement with Izumo. "Exactly. Look, you probably understand better than anyone what's going through his head, but think of it like this: what if one of the things he's upset about being a demon?"
"…ok and?" I really don't understand where he's going with this. I wasn't exactly pleased about being a demon either.
Izumo lets out a frustrated groan, like this is a really obvious concept and she doesn't understand why I don't get it. I've heard that groan way too many times in class. "He probably feels guilty if he does. I mean, now he's like you in regards to demonic attributes. To be unhappy with himself he probably thinks extends to you." She flops back against the couch with a glare, daring me to still not get it.
"…oh…" I guess that does make sense. "And you guys don't think Yukio handles things well to begin with." The guys jolt in surprise, eyes wide. "I heard your conversation through the wall earlier. Demonic hearing." I quickly add "I don't think Yukio heard though." When they look at each other slightly paniced.
"Well we don't think he handles all challenges badly, surly he faced a lot while training and becoming an exorcist so young. We just think that this is something he doesn't know how to handle. He's not who he thought he was, he's not even human anymore for one. On top of that he played a huge roll in what happened and a lot of people died. He has to be feeling a lot of guilt at the very least."
"He's also not like you." Suguro picks up after Konekomaru. "You just roll with things. You forgive easily, too easily if you ask me…" He mumbles that last part but I still hear it. "You deal with things as they happen, and you let things go that you can't control. Teach doesn't do that."
He's right, they're all right. As much as I want to help and comfort him their logic is sound. I look back at the hallway one last time before heaving a sigh and looking back at them.
"Ok. You guys mentioned splitting up again, what exactly is the game plan in all of this?"
There seems to be a collective sigh of relief and everyone looks pleased to be moving on to a different topic. Shima speaks up immediately, explaining how they started planning all this while I was still back in surgery days ago. I listen, I really do, but the whole time part of my mind is mulling over my brother and how concerned I am about him.
I am so anxious to split everyone up again because OMG is writing dialogue between this many characters hard...Thanks so much for all your love and support guys! Y'all are the best :D