It was far too obvious to Todd that something was bothering Dirk but he couldn't figure out what, or more so, which thing. He was so distracted by it that after Farah had picked them up to drive for breakfast he didn't notice where they were headed until they were already there. Both he and Dirk tensed at the sight of the diner. Todd hadn't been back in three weeks and he had not really planed on ever coming back again.

As they entered he took a deep breath but forced himself past the irrational fear. He knew that just because this was the place his life fell apart it did mean it would happen again just as he was getting his feet back under him on solid ground.

He didn't miss the way Dirk became shifty either. He was sending searching gazes around the room every few minutes and jumping at the sound of every foot step that came toward them. Not really thinking about it, Todd grabbed Dirk's hand beside him in the booth to try and calm him down and it did help. Dirk still turned to look at every person who came in their direction but he stopped jumping.

By the time they had ordered and their food came Dirk seemed relatively back to normal, though he wouldn't let go of his hand. When he tried to take it back in order to eat Dirk had tightened his grip and so Todd had stopped trying to take it back, deciding he only really needed one hand to eat pancakes anyway.

The conversation strayed back to Amanda as Farah started laying out plans of her own for finding the young woman. Not knowing which had the most potential for results Todd said they could follow up on both Farah's way and Dirk's, though he said he'd go with Dirk. It didn't really need to be said that he was just afraid that the second Dirk left his sight he would vanish again. True to this fear, that was how Todd found himself following Dirk to the bathroom not long after they had finished eating. Todd ignored the smirk and raised eyebrow Farah sent him as he trailed behind the taller man.

He hadn't expected it to hit him so hard, seeing that hallway again, but the second he was in it he felt his lungs contract. At first Dirk didn't notice but when he held the door open and Todd didn't walk through he looked back. A look of startled concern crossed his face as he took quick steps back to Todd. Slowly reaching out a hand he grabbed Todd's shoulder before asking, "Are you okay, Todd? You look really pale."

Forcing his eyes up to Dirks, he unconvincingly told him, "Yeah, I'm fine, just got a little dizzy."

Brows furrowed and frown in place Dirk asked, "Are you sure?" Todd nodded back meekly. Letting out a sigh Dirk conceded, "If you're sure." He didn't move to go back toward the bathroom though, instead adding, "Why don't we go back to your place so you can rest before we go out to look for Amanda again? You might still have that bug."

Agreeing, they were soon headed back to the table where they told Farah they were headed out. Dirk gave her a brief and awkward hug, which confused Todd and Farah both, before taking a few steps back. Todd sent him a questioning look before giving Farah a hug goodbye as well. That was when he noticed it again, an odd look of pain or sadness or something, that he couldn't quite name. Dirk's face was pinched as he turned his back on them to look out the window.

Catching a cab back meant Todd had to wait to ask Dirk what was wrong but that didn't stop Dirk from doing the exact same thing. They were almost home when Dirk turned toward him and asked, "Okay, Todd, what's going on? Somethings wrong, something else that you're not telling me, and I'd like to know what it is."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Todd told him, "This can wait until we're home, Dirk."

The other man made an odd sound of distress that had Todd sending him a searching gaze but unlike Dirk, he'd wait until they were in private. This was not a conversation for some stranger to hear. As it was as they were getting out the old man looked back at both of them and said, "Don't worry, kids. If you really love each other you can get through anything." He was oblivious to the fact he left the two men behind sputtering as both their faces turned an alarming shade of red.

After gaining back their composer and heading up stares Todd barley waited for the door to close before saying, "There, now we're home and we can talk, okay?"

He didn't expect the angry huff that Dirk gave him before the other man pleaded, "Would you stop saying that?"

Confused, Todd asked, "Saying what?"

Dirk let out another huff as he got an uncharacteristic look of annoyance on his face before answering, "Calling this home, Todd. It's your home, not mine. I don't have a home. The universe doesn't allow me such things."

At first he felt a flash of anger at the thought that Dirk refused to think of his home as his as well but then thought harder about Dirk's words. Feeling an intense wave of empathy for the other man he looked him in the eye as he told him, "We've already talked about this, Dirk, but if I need to repeat it so you'll believe it, I will, as many times as I have to. You are not alone, not anymore, and if you want to think about this place as your home then do it, I want you too."

Blinking away a few unshed tears, Dirk quietly asked, "Are you sure?" He looked down at his feet as he continued, "I know I can be a bit annoying, and a lot of people get sick of me really, really fast. One person told me I'm like a chocolate truffle, great in moderation but hard to stomach if you over indulge." He started talking with his hands, flailing them about as he continued, "And your friendship is important to me, Todd. I don't want you to decide that you've had enough of me one day soon and kick me out of your life like everyone else seems to do. Besides, I don't really want to get in the way if you want to bring Farah home for a special night, or any other girl, and I don't want you to start resenting me because you want to be alone with someone but I'm here…"

Todd had been growing increasingly confused and concerned as Dirk's rant went on but had to interrupt, asking, "What? Farah? A special night? What are you talking about, Dirk? Why would I have a special night with Farah? And if you haven't noticed since we met, Dirk, I don't have anyone over, let alone dates." Taking a step toward Dirk, Todd asked, "Are you mad at Farah or something? You've been acting odd since she got back." When Dirk failed to respond he further asked, "Is this about her finding out about your past? Because you should know by now that it won't change how we feel about you Dirk."

A strange pained look overtook Dirk's face as he asked quietly, "And how exactly is it that you feel, Todd?"

Hearing nothing but accusation where there was none Todd began to panic. He couldn't look away from the other man though as his mind started to race with too many thoughts. He felt his lungs constricting as he started to ask, "What do you me…" but had to stop to gasp in a breath. He wasn't ready to deal with this, to handle this heavy of emotions. Hell, he had been working overtime just to stop this train of thought since the night Dirk showed up, and probably long before that if he were honest with himself. It was too late now though, the train had left the station and his mind was going into overdrive. Gasping, he tried again, saying, "I care about you, you know that, you have to."

A look of frustration joining his pained look, Dirk demanded, "Yes, but in what way, Todd?"

As he started to slowly back away Todd felt tears spring to his eyes. He tried to open his mouth and speak but the words were stuck in his throat choking him. As Todd recognized the signs he let out a pained moan as another attack swept over him. Feeling like there was an unseen weight drooping onto his chest, Todd fell to the floor. He could feel it crushing the air from his lungs and preventing him from taking in anymore. Distantly he could hear Dirk calling out to him urgently but he couldn't focus on it. All he could focus on was the feeling of slowly suffocating. The last thing he was aware of before passing out was the sound of his sister's voice, but that made no sense so he figured it was just his oxygen deprived brain bring up cruel hallucinations.