At first Dirk had been pushing his own frustration about his own feeling for him on the other man, but as Todd became more and more panicked Dirk started letting that little seed of hope grow. As he pushed he hadn't thought it would trigger a panic attack.

But when Todd fell to the floor gasping, scratching at his own chest and throat, Dirk came to a horrible, sickening realisation; Todd was having an attack.

Todd had Pararibulitis.

Dropping quickly to his knees beside him Dirk grabbed both of Todd's wrists, stopping him from scratching at his throat any more. He tried getting the smaller man's attention but didn't get anything but a slightly turned head in response. Feeling his own panic winning over, Dirk started to hyperventilate himself.

He was only saved by the miraculous appearance of one, Amanda Brotzman, showing up in the door way with a loud curse of, "What the fuck?! Since when the hell has Todd been having attacks?!" She was quick to drop down next to her brother as she further asked, "How long has he had the disease?"

Forcing himself back under a semblance of control, Dirk simply answered, "I don't know."

Looking at him with anger that burned, Amanda demanded, "What the hell do you mean you don't know? This isn't exactly something you can hide for very long."

Shrugging, he defended, "I've only been back for a few days." When she still didn't look the least bit pleased he amended, "I mean, I did notice something was wrong since I've been back but I never actually thought for a second it was this."

As Amanda went about helping her now unconscious brother, she further demanded, "Where were you?"

Face going blank, he answered in one word, "Taken."

That did mollify Amanda as she moved on, instructing him to pick Todd up and put him in the bed. After tucking him under his blanket and kissing her brothers cheek, Dirk heard her whisper, "I'm sorry this happened, Todd. I'm so sorry." When she turned back around to face him there were tears in her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away before asking, "Was it random or did something trigger it?"

Confused, Dirk asked, "What do you mean, trigger it? I thought they were always just random."

Shaking her head, Amanda informed him, "No, actually, most are triggered. They might all be really, but I've noticed that at least most are." Sitting down on the couch in a slump she told him, "Most attacks are triggered by some extreme emotional response, usually only bad ones, but sometimes the good ones to." Resting her head on the back of the couch and closing her eyes she asked again, "Was it triggered or random?"

Feeling in intense sense of guilt, Dirk confessed, "Triggered, I think. We were talking before it happened."

Turning her head to the side and opening one eye to look at him she asked, "What were you guys talking about that you think you triggered it?"

Blushing and looking at his feet Dirk told her quietly, "I was asking him how he felt about me."

Sitting up and looking at him fully, Amanda asked, "You guys haven't had that conversation yet?" She scoffed as she added, "I thought you guys had that one within days of meeting."

Looking at her in confusion, he responded, "What? No, of course not."

Laughing again, Amanda said, "Whatever, dude, it's your life, if you two want to waste it acting like a couple chickens, it up to you."

Looking at his fingers as he fidgeted with them he asked her, "Why? Do you think he feels the same way?"

Once again laughing she told him, "I've never seen my brother fall so head over ass for anyone before."

Any further discussion was cut short by the sound of a soft groan of pain from the bed, drawing their attention. Todd was waking up, or more so, gaining back his consciousness.

Dirk grabbed his hand as he sat on the side of the bed gently calling out to Todd. Amanda had another idea, however, as she jumped onto the bed to kneel next to her brother. Without warning she slapped Todd across the face, making Dirk jump, but succeeding in waking him up.

Confused, Todd asked, "Amanda? Am I still dreaming?" He cast his eyes over the room before they landed on Dirk, making a slight blush creep onto his cheeks.

Not having the patience for the two, Amanda told Todd, "I'm actually here, Todd. We got back into town today and the guys said they felt like you'd need me, and look at this, they were right." She was smirking as she teased him, "Looks like I came just in time to save your sorry ass."

The grin that overtook Todd's face could light the room as he reached a hand out to cup the side of his sister's head. Sounding happier than Dirk had ever heard him, Todd told Amanda, "Thanks for saving my sorry ass again, Amanda."

He then pulled her down into a tight hug, tight enough that she gasped as she told him, "I need to breathe, Todd." For a long moment Todd only loosened the hug slightly, not yet ready to let her go. When he finally did it was her that extended it for an extra few seconds.

With a soft, genuine smile on her face she told him, "I'll leave you two to talk for a while. I think you have a few things to discuss." Winking at her brother, then at Dirk, she took her leave, a giggle filtering through the door as it closed.

To Dirk's surprise it was Todd who spoke first, saying, "There is something I need to talk to you about, Dirk." Sitting up so he could better face him, he plunged ahead, telling him in a rush of words, "I think I might love you, Dirk, in the romantic sort of way, and I don't expect you to feel the same way or anything, but I hope it doesn't ruin our friendship because our friendship means so, so much to me." He had to stop to take a deep breath but before he could start again was cut off by the feel of lips pressed against his own.

Though Dirk had been stunned for a moment by the rushed words the pure joy that over took him pushed him to action, taking Todd's head in his hands as he did what he had wanted to do for so long now; kiss Todd.

It started out chaste but quickly grew into something more passionate as they both released weeks and weeks of pent up emotion. They only pulled back when their lungs demanded it, but didn't go far, leaving their foreheads pressed together.

After a long moment of content silence Dirk finally spoke, unnecessarily clarifying, "I feel the same way, Todd." This only made the other man laugh as his smile broadened. After a few more moments of silence Dirk couldn't help asking, "Why didn't you tell me, Todd?"

Briefly, Todd thought about pretending to misunderstand the question, but he knew Dirk, he wouldn't take the hint, so instead he let out a sigh as he told him, "I didn't want to bother you with it. You were clearly dealing with enough stuff of your own; you didn't need me adding things you could do nothing about."

Frowning, Dirk told him, "I could have been here for you. Don't think I haven't already figured out you had an attack at that pub." Dirk pulled Todd impossibly closer as he whispered, "You don't have to go through this alone, Todd, not anymore."

Smiling with an edge of sadness, Todd said quietly, "I never should have doubted you. I don't know what I was thinking that night."

For a moment those words confused Dirk, mostly because they seemed so important, until suddenly everything fell into place, all the little things that had been niggling at him since the night he returned. "That's why I felt such an urgent need to get out and why I felt like it was of life and death importance." An overwhelming sense of sadness filled Dirk's chest as he whispered, "You were about to give up, weren't you?"

Instantly there were tears in Todd's eyes as he rasped out, "I felt so alone, Dirk, and scared. I didn't know how to handle the attacks, and Amanda was missing and you were gone." Todd took a deep breath before whispering, "I was so exhausted. I just wanted it all to stop. I just wanted some peace."

Tears filling his own eyes, Dirk pulled Todd into a crushing hug. Kissing his temple he whispered back, "You're not alone anymore and you don't have to be scared. You have Amanda and Farah, and you have me." Burying his nose in Todd's hair he promised, "We'll get you through this."