Chapter 8: Nomenclature
Popopo ate the shard.
Nothing happened.
"What... I... Did that really give me a new power?" said Popopo timidly.
"Yes, that it did," said 'Gooey'. "According to my data, you now have the power to copy the ability of whatever you inhale."
"Copy?"
"That is what I said. From now on, after inhaling an enemy, you can either spit it back out as a projectile or swallow it to copy its special ability if it has one."
Popopo didn't know what he was feeling about this latest revelation. Was it perhaps a tiny bit of excitement? Was he actually looking forward to using this new power? A number of seconds passed in silence.
"Is there something else you're wondering about?" said 'Gooey'.
Popopo shook himself slightly. "Uh, yeah I guess. Why do the shards give me powers? They're... broken pieces."
"Hmm, well, I was once in contact with someone I have never met in person, someone named Sah-koo-rye."
There was more silence for a few moments before Popopo responded, "But, that doesn't answer..."
"Yes, yes. I'm getting there," interrupted 'Gooey'. "This person gave me the job of aiding 'the one who will be left alone'. That 'one' has turned out to be you. Sah-koo-rye gave me instructions, which always turned out to be the right courses of action, and information, which I would always find later to be true. He seemed to know the future, but never spoke like a prophesier. Another example of information he gave me was about the powers that Star Rod shards can grant a person imbued with the power from the Fountain of Dreams. You see, I had no idea at the time why he was giving me this information, but now I know."
After a moment's pause, he continued, "Remember when I spoke of 'destiny'? This is really what I was talking about. It's just too bad I was never able to ask him many questions, and not once did he ever pick up when I called him."
There was a much longer silence after this speech. Popopo was stunned. He had just learned the true reason why he had been given this mission. Some mysterious fortune teller had just told 'Gooey' to take care of it? But then he remembered the question that had prompted 'Gooey' to make his speech, and realized that it still hadn't been answered.
"But..." said Popopo again, "that still doesn't explain why the Star Rod shards give me powers."
"They just do, Kirby!" snapped 'Gooey'. "I don't know why they do, but they do, all right?"
There was yet another pause before the Dream Lander spoke again.
"What's 'Kirby'?" he asked.
"What?" 'Gooey' was clearly startled. "How do you know that name?"
"That's not a name."
"How do you know it?" asked 'Gooey' again.
"You just said it."
"I did?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Sorry about that, then." 'Gooey' sighed slightly. "I might as well explain. Kirby was an associate of mine. He was a hominid, and died of old age a few years ago. Hominids have far shorter lifespans than Dream Landers, and I myself age even slower than Dream Landers. So, although we were great friends, I don't feel like I knew him for very long."
"But..." Popopo still couldn't get past this. "'Kirby' isn't a name. Real names abide by the one-sound-three-times rule."
"Oh, that's just a pointless Dream Lander thing. Names don't have to be like that."
"Hey! It's not a pointless Dream Lander thing! Everyone follows that rule."
"Well, they obviously don't, or I wouldn't have the name Gooey."
"But..."
"Popopo, the world is much bigger than what you have known as a Dream Lander. You have been ignorant for a long time, and you should accept the things I tell you as we go. It is imperative that we trust one another, or Dark Matter will never be defeated."
Popopo gulped.
"So," said 'Gooey', "believe me when I say that Dream Lander names are not the only names possible. 'Gooey' and 'Kirby' are both real names that are held by real people (or was held in Kirby's case)."
"Okay. They're real. I get it."
"Do you really believe me?" 'Gooey' sounded unconvinced. "I am offering you truths that almost no Dream Lander has ever learned before, to help you on a quest the likes of which no Dream Lander has ever gone on before."
It was finally clear to Popopo that he needed to adapt to this bigger world in order to stand a chance in it. He couldn't resist anymore.
"Yes, I believe you. Gooey is a real name," he said, believing it at last.
"Good," replied Gooey, satisfied. "Now, speaking of names, it is time for you to assume a pseudonym."
"A pseudo..."
"A pseudonym. A false name."
"You mean like the one you called me?"
"What?"
"You called me Kirby."
"No, no. A pseudonym, or alias, is a name you use instead of your real one, to conceal your identity. But, wait... What a brilliant idea!"
"What?"
"You can use Kirby's name!"
"...What?"
"Alright, here's my idea." Gooey's smart-alecky tone was back in place. "Kirby was my lawyer, right?"
"I... I don't know what that-"
"Well, he had another business, a sort of hobby, and it was a line of vacuum cleaners! Ha!"
"...Okay..."
"You see, it'll really confuse people if we give you the same name as a guy who once sold vacuums. At least, it might. Kirby wasn't very well known. But anyway, I... have a slight habit of calling people 'Kirby', as you've already witnessed. He... well, he was my only contact for quite a while after Sah-koo-rye stopped calling. Your name change won't cure my habit, of course, but it will make it no longer a problem."
Popopo considered this. Taking on a new name would be like finalizing his change of lifestyle. But, it would also ensure no one would go after him when he changed his name back to Popopo at the end of his quest.
"You do need an alias, Popopo. It will-"
"Yeah, I know." It was Popopo's turn to interrupt. "I'll do it. I'll be Kirby."
"You will?" Gooey finally sounded pleased. "Excellent! That makes things much easier."
"Alright. So, I just say I'm Kirby and answer to Kirby... and then that'll be it?"
"Right." Gooey then switched to a more businesslike tone. "So, Kirby, a Warp Star is on its way to take you to Butter Building, above which the next Star Rod shard is located, in Castle Lola."
"Got it," said Kirby as the Warp Star landed.