Thank you everyone that has read/reviewed/favorited/alerted!
Not only does it keep me aware that people are still reading, but it reminds me this story exists as well!
This chapter goes out to XPandaGaaraX for reminding me the horror that are Dentists!
Nada: My apologizes if this chapter is shorter than usual. It's only 7 pages compared to Chapter five's ten pages. Also, I know the updates are slow. That's mainly because the ending of Coinquinatus is still very unclear to me... and I think I might have accidentally wrote the ending last month. I have NO IDEA how I could "accidentally" write an ending but that's exactly what happened. How the Hell does that even happen!
Warning(s): Minor swearing
Chapter Six
Since it was the last week of summer vacation, Olette decided it'd be a great idea to shop for school supplies together. So here we were, the whole gang (minus the usual three) entered the supplies store and immediately shot off in different directions for what we needed.
Kairi led Riku into the notebook section of the store. I didn't expect to see those two again for quite some time.
Naminé and Pence wandered off in search for art supplies. Pence wasn't much of an artist, but he did seem to enjoy browsing through the art section whenever he spotted one in a store.
Hayner and Olette decided they would browse the store for binders, which meant Sora and I were the last two left.
We were each given an item to collect. Kairi and Riku had notebook duty. Depending on how many classes we had and what classes absolutely needed it, they'd gather as many notebooks required. Olette and Hayner were on binder duty and Naminé and Pence were on utensil duty, as in, they were in charge of getting stacks of pens, pencils, and whatever else we'd need for this school year. Sora and I were given the easiest task possible-and I had the sudden suspicion it was Sora who thought I'd benefit the most from this task. We had to look for book covers. Book covers: the most non-threatening, non-sharp, softest thing in the entire store.
"Subtle, very subtle," I grumbled as we made our way down the aisle in search of those blasted book covers.
"What's subtle?" He asked. His eyes scanned the shelves for any decorative covers the girls might want for their books. He stopped in front of a particular set designed with multicolored swirls and stars. "This looks good." He dropped the package into my basket.
"You know what I'm talking about."
"No, not really."
He still didn't look at me. Instead, he reached for another package of book socks. This one was a solid blue. The one behind it was a solid red. He dumped them both into my basket.
I rolled my eyes. "Sure. Go ahead and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about."
"Okay," he said, grabbing another decorative book sock. This time it was pink and white with flora designs. I bet that'll be Kairi's soon. He grabbed two book covers from the shelf, one black the other silver and turned toward me. "Which one do you like: the silver one?" He wiggled the package. "Or the black one?" He wiggled the other package.
I stared at him blankly.
"What?" he pouted. "Aren't these your favorite colors? If you want both of them, you can have them."
I rolled my eyes. "No, I envisioned my future." I grabbed two book covers from the basket at random and held it up in front of him. "'Roxy dear, does the mahogany match the drapes or the burgundy?'"
Sora threw the book covers at my face, which I dodged rather easily, and snatched the basket from my hands. His cheeks were pink with embarrassment.
"Shut up Roxas," he grumbled, bending down to pick up the fallen book covers he threw at me like projectiles. "Like Kairi and Naminé would let us decorate our house…"
It somehow didn't surprise me that Sora thought it was more unbelievable to let us decorate our imaginary house than the fact that I was making fun of him for acting like a housewife picking out furniture. At least I got him to carry the basket.
"I hope that's not too heavy for you," I teased, shoving my hands into my pockets.
Sora glanced over his shoulder and laughed. "Don't worry Roxy; I won't let my little uke carry this heavy basket all by himself."
My jaw dropped. "WHAT?"
Just around the aisle, a pair of voices quickly burst into laughter. Sora stuck out his tongue playfully and wandered into the neighboring aisle. I followed after him.
It turned out that the art supply aisle was just around the corner. And there, standing in the middle of the aisle was Pence holding a semi-full basket and Naminé, holding a new art pad. They both had amused smiles on their faces that only widened the moment they spotted us.
"Hey guys," Pence greeted the moment we were within ear shot. "Have fun shopping?"
"Oh hah, hah," I snapped and snatched the basket out of Sora's hands.
He grinned mischievously at me.
"That's a lot of art supplies, Naminé." Sora said, peering into the basket. "Are we really going to need all this stuff?"
"Well, yes and no. You and Roxas have Anatomy together right? You'll both need the crayolas, but most of this stuff is for my art class." She beamed happily, hugging the drawing pad that was too big for the basket closer to her chest.
I peered into the basket, curious about the art supplies Naminé might need for school when a package suddenly caught my interest. It was a pair of regular scissors. The blades were long and thin, its edges sharp for a clean cut and its handle a dark blue. It surprised me how sharp the edges of the scissors looked. I didn't notice it before, but were scissors always that sharp?
I tore my eyes away from the enticing object, not at all bothered that I just described a pair of scissors as "enticing".
"Hey Roxas, can I ask you something?" Pence asked. He continued when I nodded. "I'm sorry for noticing this now, but what happened to your hands?"
My fingers flexed around the basket handle out of habit, showing off the clotted cuts. Pence and Naminé, who hadn't seen them out of their bandages before, stared at my hands for a brief moment.
It was Naminé who replied. "Oh, I must have forgotten to tell you. Roxas had an accident with his mirror. I don't know what happened exactly, but it was pretty bad. We had to throw out the whole mirror."
Pence grimaced. "Oh."
Sora wasn't too pleased with her explanation, but I didn't care.
-x-X-x-
After we regrouped and paid for the mound of school supplies, we brought our earnings to the Usual Spot and began to sort through them. Naminé separated most of her art supplies from the pile and gave us the things she thought we would need for our science classes. Olette gave each of us a binder and Riku handed the notebooks until the pile shrank to nothing. The packages of pens and pencils went around the group, a few bottles of white out and finally, the scissors went around.
I was a little too giddy for my pair of scissors. No one seemed to notice, except of course, Sora, who kept eyeing me like a predator since we left the store. When I caught his suspicious gaze, I raised an innocent eyebrow, like I was silently questioning his wary stare. They narrowed even more, quietly accusing me of playing dumb when I knew damn well why he was doubtful. I gave him an innocent pout.
My eyes said: I can't believe your accusing me. I didn't do anything wrong.
His eyes read: Not consciously. Then he mouthed: you lied to me.
I tilted my head slightly, allowing childlike naiveté to wash over me. Did I? I mouthed back.
Hayner watched us, astonished and bewildered by our near telepathic communication.
We ignored him.
You promised to tell Cloud. Sora mouthed. He flexed his hands to make a point, but it looked more like a vulgar gesture. I suppressed the urge to laugh.
I did tell him. I mouthed back. Sora raised an eyebrow in response. He didn't believe me.
"That's bullshit!" Sora cried, a lot louder than he needed to.
Silence fell in the Usual Spot and all eyes turned Sora, who blushed in embarrassment at his sudden outburst. He laughed it off; pretending it was a joke more so than an outburst. The others slowly returned to their conversation, except for Hayner, who was finding our silent communication to be much more interesting than what the others were talking about and Riku, who was under the impression that I made Sora swear in the first place.
The third year leaned into Hayner and whispered, "What's going on?"
"Lover's quarrel," Hayner replied, also in a whisper. "Something about promising to tell Cloud about boobs and Roxas lying to Sora. I'm not too sure. It's like they're talking telepathically. It's freaky."
Sora continued to ignore the growing audience, but I couldn't suppress the smile that wormed its way on my lips. Hayner was pretty good at reading lips, but he just didn't get it.
"If you're not going to tell him then I will."
My amusement instantly turned into annoyance. Not only was Sora threatening to reveal my secret again, but he was trying to talk about this in the presence of our friends too. I tore my eyes away from him and chose to tear the plastic off my new pair of scissors.
"I'm not talking about this here," I murmured, struggling to remove the plastic entirely.
"I don't want any more excuses Roxas." the brunet frowned; his anger sparked the fire of my own. "If we don't talk about it here, we'll talk about it never!"
It was the same useless conversation from yesterday, only this time my anger had a renewed purpose.
"What exactly do you want me to say, Sora?" I snapped, throwing down the empty package now that my scissors were free and clutched tightly in my hand.
The noise of conversation quickly fell silent and all eyes were on us again. This time, neither one of us addressed our friends or laughed it off like it was some sort of joke. We were too busy glaring daggers into each other to care whether or not they were watching.
The rational part of my brain knew exactly why Sora was vehement with me. He cared about me too much to sit on the sidelines like a helpless boyfriend. He didn't want me to suffer, but he just didn't understand.
I'm already suffering.
"Look, Sora, I know you're worried about me, but you don't have to be. It doesn't even hurt anymore."
"What doesn't hurt anymore?" Hayner asked bewildered by where this conversation was heading.
Riku didn't say a word, but the way his green eyes narrowed told me that whatever suspicion he had before had finally been confirmed.
Naminé, Kairi and Pence watched the two of us with the same confusion Hayner felt, but Olette watched on with sadden eyes, almost as though her own suspicions had been answered.
Sora's expression shifted from anger to shock to realization and then to sorrow in a matter of seconds.
I don't like it.
I was suddenly surrounded by watchful eyes, every one of them full of pity and accusation.
I don't need your pity! What do ANY of them KNOW about DESPAIR?
The numbness inside my core erupted like a volcano of emotion for the second time that summer. Anger and hatred melted into one, it flowed through my veins like blood and quickened my beating heart. At the center of it all was envy, sinking poison into my very soul and controlling my body like a puppeteer.
"Don't give me those looks! Like any of you could really understand what I went through," I yelled at them, not really caring if I startled them with my outburst. "I'm so sick of your damn questions! I'm so sick of all the lies! I'm so sick of everyone pretending like they actually give a fuck when it's so OBVIOUS that NO ONE DOES!"
I kicked my pile of school books in fury, ignoring the flinches Kairi and Naminé did when my books crashed into theirs.
"Calm down Roxas," Riku tried, until my eyes zeroed in on his and he suddenly fell silent by my vicious glare.
"Shut up Riku!" I growled at him maliciously. My grip around my scissors grew tight, but the blades around the outer edges were too dull to cut, too dull to draw blood. The feel of metal pressed against my skin snapped reality back into place and I realized exactly what I was doing.
Taking my anger out on them would only make things worse between us. They would still have their precious childhood memories. They would still have their stupid inside jokes; their stupid way of doing things; they would still and always will, be much happier than I ever could be. Screaming at them, lashing out at them, doing anything to show what I truly felt inside would only separate me from them. Or worse, separate Sora from me.
This tantrum of mine was useless. I had to reel the hurricane back inside.
The untamable anger, the fiery hatred, the poisonous envy, I forced it all back into the dark depths of my heart like a Pandora's Box that had been accidentally opened.
I hated myself for being this weak. Why can't I lash out at them? I have every right to be angry about what happened!
It changes nothing. It happened. It's done. You're tainted. They're not. You're broken. They're not. Accept it.
I loosened my grip around the scissors, but didn't let go. It was reassuring against my skin, like an unspoken promise only it and I could understand. I didn't want to let it go. I was afraid that if I did, I would lose my temper again.
I muttered an apology, it was probably too soft to be heard, but no one seemed to mind as I walked out of the Usual Spot still clutching the scissors in my hand.
Sora didn't follow me. Neither did Naminé or Olette. No one grabbed my arm. No one called out my name or text my phone. No one bothered to chase me, to stop me or ask if I was okay, but that was fine.
I didn't expect them to.
They must have been too stunned to move or too lost to really understand why I had exploded on them. Or maybe, they really didn't care. Maybe, they were tired of this game almost as much as I was. But I guess it really didn't matter.
I still had my scissors.
Nada: Remember kids: just because your Auto Correct says "Untamable" is a word, doesn't actually make it so! My computer is lying to me again.
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