A/N: Finally, we get to part of the reason for the title.

Chapter 12.

"Eggs! We lay eggs?" Buffy cried before she fainted.

Buffy did wake up before sunrise and ate voraciously, if not enthusiastically. The revelation that she was so hungry because her body was getting ready to lay an egg was a lot to take in. On the plus side, she'd never have to deal with another period. Just get the urge to... well... and then lay an egg every ten years, according to Giles. The only trouble was that there were pretty much only two men/gargoyles in the world as far as she was concerned. One was Xander and one was Giles. One was a friend she didn't think of in that way, and the other was... old. For now, her plan was to keep her fingers and legs crossed and hope that nothing happened.

Luckily, she had work to do to take her mind off the future. Giles had given her the job of designing them some armor to wear while patrolling, since she was the fashion aficionado of the group. She set to work drawing and taking measurements.

Just before sunrise, Giles remembered the other news he had to share. The new Slayer had been called and was already on her way to Sunnydale. She was Jamaican and should be arriving in the next few days.

That day, the girls slept apart from the men. There was a strain in their relationship now that neither side knew how to fix. It was a quiet flight to town the next evening, despite the new radios they were all wearing.

"Right, Buffy," Giles finally broke the silence by speaking into his radio. "I realize it's your turn to patrol with me. But I think tonight perhaps you might get more benefit from a night in with your mother? All three of you girls take the night off, in fact. Xander and I will patrol together and call you if we need help."

Buffy looked back and nodded.

When they landed, Giles handed Joyce the contact information for a man he knew who could make them some armor and the measurements and designs for said armor. Along with some cash he'd gotten out of the ATM for a down payment. He gave her a brief explanation of the trouble tonight before taking off to join Xander, who hadn't even landed.

"Coward," Giles said as he formed up off Xander's wing. Giles was technically the leader, but his shorter wings meant he had to ride in the back of the formation more often than the others.

"Damn skippy," Xander agreed. "There is no way you could make me face Mrs. Summers right now."

"Is your radio off?" Giles asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, it may be crass—especially to bring this up so soon—but we need to discuss logistics. Privately."

"Logistics?" Xander wondered.

"So that there aren't any... misunderstandings with the girls."

"What are you saying?" Xander asked rather darkly. "Are you trying to divvy up the girls between us?"

"Thank you for being as vulgar as possible, Xander. What I am saying is that despite how the girls currently feel about us or about the situation, in less than six months, their bodies are going to be flooded with hormones that override all reason and cause them to seek out a mate. It is also likely that they are going to be putting out pheromones to override our own faculties and, despite what you or I might think now, nature is very hard to control in such situations," Giles explained. "What I am trying to avoid is any sort of shame or embarrassment that any of us might feel after the hormones wear off."

"And what's that mean in American?"

Giles sighed that he had to spell things out like this. "When the time comes, I want you to sleep with Buffy. I'm sure it won't be a chore for you."

Xander found himself with a wracking cough and lost several feet of altitude. "How did you-"

"The same reason it would be wrong of me to... mate with her. I am, or was, her watcher, and was in a position of authority over her... theoretically speaking at least. Which also meant I paid attention to her and her friends. You are a young man, completely infatuated with her. And you are hardly subtle. Willow's own infatuation with you is the picture of stealth by comparison," Giles said.

Xander sputtered and lost several more feet of height, "Willow? Me? No. No, no, no, no. She—she's Willow. She's like my sister."

"I take it that mating with her would damage your psyche in some way?" Giles questioned.

"Yeah. But, would it be better if she was with you? I mean, you are kind of, old...er," Xander wondered.

"Gargoyles reach sexual maturity at the age of 30. I'm not sure what exactly the age of consent is in California as I didn't think it would affect me, but I'm certain we won't be breaking any laws in any case. Nor do I think that Willow will be horribly upset afterwards."

"Wait, what?"

"I believe Willow has developed a small crush on me as well. Certainly nothing I would act on were she still a student, but in this case..."

"I really didn't need to know that," Xander said then pointed. "I'm going to go beat up on this vampire down here and get some horrible images out of my head."

"Please, please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know. Just stake me, please!" the vampire begged when Xander paused in his thrashing.

"What do I want to know about?" Xander hissed, pulling the battered face to within inches of his own. He'd been pounding on the vamp for a good five minutes as a form of stress relief.

"The Anointed One," the vampire gasped. He didn't need to breathe except to talk. But every bone in his body felt like it was broken, including all of his ribs and his jaw. "The Master has called the Brethren of Aurelius to find him."

"The Brethren of Aurelius?" Giles chimed in from the mausoleum where he'd been watching the scene. He didn't completely approve of Xander's coping mechanism, but venting on vampires was better than venting elsewhere. He glided down to stand next to Xander.

"Yeah," the vamp tried to nod. "Called them yesterday, I think. They should be here in a few days. But that's just what I heard. I could be wrong. Now, please, a little mercy?"

Giles staked the vamp and turned to Xander. "I trust you are feeling a bit better after that? I also hope that taking your anger out on sentient creatures, even vampires, doesn't become a habit."

Xander balked at those words. The last thing in the world he wanted was to become like Tony Harris. He looked at the vampire blood on his hands and fell to his knees, "Oh, god." He started dry heaving.

"There, there," Giles patted his shoulder. "It was too much for you. I understand. I rather wish we didn't have to deal with the mating cycle of gargoyles so soon after being transformed, or if you had simply been slightly less astute and let things progress a bit more while we all settled in. This shock layered upon the shock of our recent change just doesn't seem quite fair. But I suppose they wouldn't call it a curse if it were supposed to be fair."

"I don't know if I can do this," Xander admitted.

"The, ah, mating ritual?" Giles confirmed. "You have nearly six months before they go into 'heat' in which to woo them first, if you wish," he pointed out.

"... we get fat enough to be pregnant, which we nearly are by that point, then apparently we get so horny that we just can't help ourselves, then we lay an egg. An egg!" Buffy finished her tirade.

"In a nest we already built. Though we didn't know why at the time," Amy added. "We just kind of felt like building it."

"We should destroy that nest," Buffy thought suddenly.

"We are not destroying my nest," Willow got in Buffy's face very aggressively. It was either the hormones or she really liked that nest.

Joyce placed a calming hand on Buffy and Willow's shoulders. "I always wanted grandchildren. And I understand you didn't expect your biological clock to start ticking so suddenly-"

"I never thought it would start ticking at all," Buffy admitted sadly. "I was the Slayer, Mom, remember? I know Giles kinda glossed over the fact, but it's pretty much a death sentence. A year, maybe two, tops. Which is about how long I lasted."

"What?" Joyce asked worriedly.

"We died," Buffy said sadly.

"Uh, my mom-" Amy started.

"Turned us to stone," Willow finished.

"But you're gargoyles. You're still alive then, right?" Joyce wondered.

"Not enough. Or Giles has a theory that because we're completely stone when we sleep, the... whatever that chooses the next Slayer counted me as dead. Either way, a new Slayer got called. She's on her way here already," Buffy explained.

Suddenly, Buffy was the one comforting her mother instead of the other way around.

"Buffy, please don't be mad at me that I'm really looking forward to being a grandmother," Joyce said. She was looking forward to it for a new reason as well: she sincerely hoped that having a child would make Buffy that much more careful as she patrolled each night. She wasn't sure if that was a selfish reason or not, wanting her daughter to be safe.

"I'm not mad, Mom. Definitely not at you. I'm just miffed that I don't seem to be given a choice on anything that happens to me right now. I mean, I was the Slayer. Sure, I had a destiny to fight evil, but I was in charge of that destiny. Kinda/sorta. Now...?" she left unsaid what she thought of recent events.

The heavy 'wump, wump, wump' sound of large wings back winging alerted them that the menfolk had returned.

Willow opened the door before they were even able to knock.

"Ah, wonderful. Willow, I wished to talk with you. Would you care to step outside?" Giles said from the doorway.

Willow shrugged but followed him out. On her way out she passed by Xander and thought he smelled especially good; like fresh-picked flowers. She and Giles walked down the sidewalk in silence for a bit.

Xander walked through the door then placed his hands behind his back. From the folds of his wings he produced two bouquets of mixed jasmine and moonflowers. Then he frowned. He'd forgotten about Joyce. He held one bouquet with his tail while he pulled a flower from each bouquet and handed them to Joyce first. He then handed Buffy her bouquet and finally 'handed' Amy hers with his tail.

Joyce stood up. "I'll just go put mine in water and ready some vases for yours when you're done," she said before she left them alone.

Xander started with Buffy, luckily it had been a slow night and he had had time to go over what he would say while he and Giles flew. "Buffy, I don't know if you've realized it yet, but apparently, it's an open secret that I've been infatuated with you since I first met you. And I'd like to point out that that was wa-ay before I found out just how incredibly brave you were to go out fighting monsters every night. I never thought I'd ever meet an actual superhero. And if the cost to meet you and fight by your side is my humanity, then I pay it gladly. But I want you to know, that to the best of my power, nothing will happen between us if you don't okay it beforehand. I want this to be completely consensual without either of us being able to blame it on our hormones. So if that means that I have to fly away for a couple of weeks, then so be it: I will."

Buffy took a deep breath of her flowers before she answered. "According to Giles, if you flew away, I'd probably just track you down. But this means a lot to me. I'm not promising anything. But I'll keep an open mind for now. But what about Willow?"

"Willow is like a sister to me. And I don't care how many pheromones, hormones, or whatever-moans- Okay, that sounded dirty. Anyway, the point is I don't think I could do that with Willow because my brain literally thinks of her as my sister. Giles had a fancy name for it. West-something."

"What about me?" Amy asked. "Do you think of me as a sister? You've known me almost as long as Willow."

"Strangely, no," Xander shrugged. "We met two years after I knew Willow. I didn't think of you that way before all this happened, but we do have a solid foundation of friendship I think we can work on. I don't have a romantic speech for you, sorry. But the same offer goes for you. If it's not completely consensual, I don't want any part of it."

"So, what about tonight then?" Amy asked.

"Tonight, what?" Xander replied, confused.

"Xander. I've gotten to see you fight quite a bit now too. And all that stuff you said to Buffy about going out and fighting monsters, that all applies to you too. Plus probably the only good thing my mom did for me was give me a pragmatic view of sex. So, what about tonight? It's not like we have to worry about getting pregnant. Well, not tonight anyway," Amy smirked. "And practice makes perfect."

Xander could only make a few unintelligible noises. Buffy also made a small squeaking sound.

Joyce came out of the kitchen where she certainly hadn't been listening. She set two vases on her coffee table and put a bouquet in each. "Buffy, why don't you and I go for a walk? I should be safe enough with a gargoyle to protect me. Oh, and Amy, if you want to lay down for a minute and rest, there's a spare room upstairs you can use."

Amy smiled at Buffy's mom. That was a very kind offer. "Thank you, Joyce. I think I will lay down for a few minutes." She grabbed Xander's hand and led him upstairs.

Joyce did the same thing for her daughter.

Once they were outside, Buffy's brain reengaged and started working again. "Mom! I can't believe you just did that."

Joyce just laughed. "Honey, if I knew I didn't have to worry about you getting a disease or getting pregnant, you would have gotten a very different sex talk when you reached puberty. More 'it's fun but make sure he loves you' and less 'don't ever, ever do it'. And Xander loves you. And I don't think he'd do anything to hurt Amy either. Plus, you've already told me that he saved your life."

"Xander—is currently indisposed. A point you made sure of," Buffy retorted.

"Then make sure your time with him is more memorable than hers. I'm just being practical here, honey. Your choice of men in your life is extremely limited now. Don't push Xander away just because he's not perfect or you blame him for something neither of you has any control over," Joyce said as she pulled her daughter into a hug.

Buffy was silent for a bit. "Do you want to go flying, Mom?" Buffy asked. She didn't wait for an actual reply, just scooped her up, leaped to the chimney of a neighbor's house, and took off.

Giles was having a very different night than Xander. He was hugging a distraught and sobbing Willow after telling her that Xander didn't and couldn't feel that way about her. He had picked her up and moved them both off the sidewalk and into the shadows in case anyone came by. He also wrapped them both in a near cocoon using his wings. Inside, Willow had darkness and warmth as well as the strength of his arms and his love. Giles understood the Westermarck Effect, the phenomenon where two children raised together never develop sexual urges for each other, but what he couldn't understand was how one child could exhibit classic symptoms while Willow clearly wasn't affected in the slightest. Perhaps it was simply the Hellmouth at work once again.

Despite what he had assured Xander earlier, he absolutely had many qualms about what would happen in the coming months. However, it simply wouldn't do to express those concerns to the young adults who were already unsure enough. Being the calm voice of reason and accepting that this had to happen because it was going to happen whether they wanted it to or not would save them a great deal of worry and guilt later. Everyone but him of course. But he was the leader. Worry and guilt came with the job. As did soggy shirts, apparently.