CHAPTER 41: Proof (Season 7, episode 2)

Character(s): Reid, JJ, Rossi, Prentiss

A/N: Only passing mention at best of the unsub/case in this one – I think you can all guess which storyline this particular chapter will be dealing with. As such, any spoilers are going to be in relation to the whole Reid/JJ situation, as well as Emily's return, and there will also be brief references to the events that took place in the flashbacks set in season 6 from the 200th episode. I'll simply say that the case in this episode was incredibly disturbing and leave it at that.

"Betrayal can only happen if you love." - John Le Carre

September 21st, 2011:

He'd waited until the end of the day before cornering her.

The committee interrogation earlier that afternoon had left the team completely rattled and anxious, the fear of losing their jobs and being separated again a very real possibility. Once they'd been given the all-clear, they wanted to focus on spend as much time with Emily as they could manage. Group hugs were shared right and left and they chatted for a while, before plans were made to head to a nearby bar after work to celebrate.

Reid, on the other hand, just couldn't quite bring himself to let loose and enjoy the reunion. His brain was still too busy trying to reconcile the fact that Emily was alive and standing before him.

The shocking revelation that her "death" had been nothing more than a cover up orchestrated to help keep her safe from Ian Doyle had only further jumbled his thoughts. He understood the need to keep her safe. He was even willing to accept the fact that such desperate times had called for the kind of desperate measures involved in that cover up. As absurd and unreal as the entire plot seemed, the motivations behind it made sense, and so he chose not to get too bothered by that part of things.

What did bother him, however, was that none of the team members were let in on this plan from the start. Instead of trusting them to help keep the secret and do their part to keep a beloved friend safe, they were all made to spend months believing her deceased and mourning the loss.

All of them except for Hotch, of course…and possibly one other person.

It hadn't exactly escaped Reid's notice, during Hotch's announcement of Emily's "return from the dead", that JJ stood next to him the entire time he spoke. She didn't have the same look of shock and surprise on her face that everyone else did, either. In fact, when Emily appeared in the doorway, he caught a glimpse of her smiling, looking utterly relieved. Nor did she run to embrace Emily the way everyone else had.

It'd been two weeks since Emily's return, yet JJ's reaction to the news had stuck in Reid's brain ever since, refusing to budge. He'd hoped to confront her about her behavior sooner, but the hunt to save Declan and capture Doyle heated up shortly after, and then came the committee interrogation of the team. Any other discussion had to be pushed aside.

Tonight, however, that would change. Reid wandered through the now quiet building, hoping to catch JJ before she left for the night. As he walked, he tried practicing what he was going to say. But his mind didn't seem to want to cooperate.

Do you really need to bring this up? It was probably nothing. You're overanalyzing again, as always. She's your best friend, for God's sake. Emily's here and she's alive, just be glad for that and let this go.

He couldn't, though. He wanted to, but if he didn't address this, it would burrow deeper in his brain and possibly never get out.

His thoughts were halted as she came into his line of sight. JJ was just heading past his desk, towards the doors. She stopped upon seeing him approach.

"Oh. Hey, Spence." She flashed him a smile.

"Hi, JJ." Don't lose your nerve, don't lose your nerve.

"Didn't realize you were still here. Are you heading out, too?"

"I will, shortly. But first…um…I was actually...wondering –" He licked his lips and tried again. "JJ…can I talk to you about something?"

JJ halted altogether now, the look on his face telling her everything she needed to know. Here it comes. The moment she'd been dreading for months. "Um, sure. What is it?" She stood straight, arms folded.

Reid was quiet for a moment, as though he was trying to find the right words. Then, "JJ, I'm going to ask you an honest question, and I want an honest answer." He paused, taking a deep breath. "Did you know?"

She cleared her throat. "Know what?" Said a little too brightly.

"That Emily was alive. Did you know about that?"

JJ's hands became slightly warm and damp. "Spence, I don't think…"

"Answer me, JJ."

JJ flinched at the demanding response. She hesitated a moment before sighing heavily, dropping her hands at her sides. The charade was over. "Yeah. Yeah, I did."

There was an uncomfortably long moment of silence.

"How long?"

"Spence, please…"

"Jennifer." His voice was barely a whisper. "How. Long?"

Jennifer? Putting that aside for the moment, though, JJ hung her head. "Since…since Boston."

If this were any other situation, Reid's eyes turning to saucers would've been almost comical. "You mean, the night she…died?" Just how deep did this plan go? "So you helped hide her?"

Oh, joy. A headache coming on. JJ rubbed her head as she answered. "I..uh…I traveled to Paris, and gave her the passports. So…yes."

Traveled to Paris? "Wait…you saw her?"

JJ could only nod in response, not trusting herself to speak anymore.

"You got to say goodbye?"

Yeah. This conversation just got better and better.

"So you knew she was alive the whole time that I…" Reid turned his head away, blinking his eyes, trying to process this fact. It was worse than he'd thought.

JJ just stood, numb, watching his reaction. God, please just yell at me already, Spence. Slam a hand down on your desk. Punch a wall. Curse up a storm. Something, anything.

"I'm sorry." It came out so small, she didn't think he'd heard her at first. His gaze settling onto hers told her otherwise, though, and it was clear he didn't accept her apology. The anger was still there, but now it was mixed with a deep hurt, the effects of her betrayal written all over his features.

Reid stared her down for a moment longer, before finally yanking his messenger bag off his desk, giving her a wide berth as he stormed off.

JJ stayed rooted to her spot, listening to his quick footsteps and the loud thwap! of the doors.

September 28th, 2011:

Reid's eyes traveled up and down the array of clothing that hung on the carts. He and JJ had been assigned to check out local thrift stores and churches throughout the small Oklahoma town in the hopes of finding clothing belonging to the victims of the case they were working. The running theory was that the unsub would sell the victims' clothes to thrift stores, and in turn buy up new clothing for his victims to wear.

The two of them scanned the aisles, seeing if anything jumped out at them. Reid was on one end of the store, JJ on the other.

And right now, he very much preferred it that way. Maybe that sounded childish, but truthfully, the distance was welcome. He'd snapped at her enough already today, and had come very close to revealing some things to her he didn't want to reveal. It was much better for all involved if he could have some time to himself, let his feelings simmer for a while.

Fortunately, further distraction came in the form of a clue. "Aha!" Reid muttered, yanking an outfit off the rack. The clerk he found gave him the necessary information – it seemed the team was on the right track with their guess about the clothing. Reid called Rossi, informing him of the find. Just as he was putting his phone away, a voice behind him made him jump.

"Find something?" JJ asked, trying to look over his shoulder.

"Um, yeah. Abby's clothes."

"Oh, great." She hesitated, wondering if she should speak any further. "We should get them returned to her family, then –"

"Yep, on it." And that was the end of that conversation.

The ride back was completely silent. Even the radio wasn't turned on. JJ's eyes didn't stray from the road the entire time. She considered the fact that Reid still sat in the passenger seat next to her some form of progress.

Reid, meanwhile, let his thoughts continue to drift. And they didn't involve the case.

On some level, Reid realized, he really shouldn't have been surprised at JJ's smooth ability to craft her words so carefully. She always knew just the right things to say, and when the right time was to say them. As a media liaison, she'd "spin" information to make the news go down simple, easy, for the reporters. When talking with victims, she knew how to divert their attention away from the pain they dealt with.

She could lie right to someone's face, and sound believable. She'd had that ability as long as Reid could remember. He'd never forgotten her story about her fear of the woods, after all – running through a darkened forest to escape a murderer. Her fear was real, but the rest was all a made up tale. One, that, while admittedly quite good and scary, Reid didn't exactly find appropriate to share at the time, considering the particulars of the case they'd been working.

She didn't tell any of us about her and Will for an entire year, either. We'd invite her out on weekends, and she'd say she was "busy with work". He'd spent the first few months of her relationship wondering when she'd turned into Hotch.

And what was it she said when the subject of how her State Department job was going came up? "It's fine."

That statement was a flat out lie, he knew that for a fact. Every time he came to visit her, she looked unnervingly worn down and haunted – and that was before everything with Emily happened.

Working amongst others who could tell everything about a person just by observing them for five minutes, Reid sympathized with JJ's insistence on privacy. But privacy was one thing; keeping secrets was another altogether. Especially secrets that involved matters as serious as someone's life being in danger. What was she afraid would've happened if she'd told him about Emily right away? Did she really think nobody would notice anything?

I knew her reaction at the funeral seemed oddly composed. That whole day had felt so…off, for reasons Reid couldn't quite put his finger on at the time. Now those reasons made perfect sense.

The tears she shed the night she told us the news, those nights I sat on her couch – they'd seemed so genuine. I know they were. It's tough to fake crying. But if she wasn't crying for Emily, who, or what, was she crying for?

He'd probably never get an answer, though. He would've, back in the old days. She used to tell him everything then. Everyone told him things back then, come to think of it, from the simple (collections) to the complex (family memories, fears, hopes).

Had he done something to betray that trust since then? The Fisher King debacle? His addiction?

No, that couldn't have been it. He wouldn't be Henry's godfather if she didn't trust him.

So what was it? What changed?

He continued to turn those questions over in his mind for the rest of the drive.

JJ felt like she was in some sort of time-out.

She and Reid had been ordered to stay behind at the police station, keeping an eye on any similar signatures that might've matched the ones related to their case.

Just another in the string of not-at-all subtle attempts to force JJ and Reid to work together. She'd half expected Hotch to lock her and Reid in the conference room and tell them they weren't coming out until they agreed to behave and apologize to each other.

That's clearly not going to happen anytime soon, she thought as she looked over at Reid, who was sat at the other end of the table, looking over some notes. She continued to study him, his sharp, harsh words to her from their earlier fight echoing in her mind.

He wasn't really serious about taking Dilaudid again. Was he? He wouldn't dare go back there, risk his job like that.

Why wouldn't he? He thought he'd lost somebody he cared about.

But – but she'd never wanted that! Part of the reason she'd welcomed him into her place for ten weeks was the knowledge that he would be somewhere safe, and she could keep an eye on him as a result. JJ knew all too well what an unexpected, horrific death could do to the people left behind, after all, and the moment she saw Reid's grief-stricken face in her doorway that first night, she knew he shouldn't be alone. If she'd turned him away, he would've been upset about that, too.

And didn't he know that his presence brought her some much-needed comfort as well? I mourned, too, Reid. Just for a very different sort of loss.

Besides, despite her knowledge, she'd missed Emily, too. She'd lost count of how many nights she lay awake, wondering how her friend was, debating when and how to contact her, just to check in. She'd reluctantly log off from their Scrabble tournaments, wanting to run out and share any updates on Emily's life with her friends.

The fact was that contrary to what she'd said, she fully understood why he was so angry, and he had every right to be. If the tables had been turned, JJ couldn't deny she'd have been rather pissed off, too.

But Reid has to understand my side, too, doesn't he? He knows full well the importance of doing everything possible to protect a friend. JJ could still remember the immense guilt Reid had carried after Benjamin Cyrus' attack on Emily at that compound.

If he saw how she looked after her fight with Doyle, he would've done the exact same thing I did. I know he would. His insistence on doing the right thing was a big part of what she liked most about him, after all.

Besides, who's he to talk about keeping secrets anyway? What about his addiction, and his meetings. How many times did he interrupt a morning briefing because he came in late, with no explanation? And then there were those headaches recently…

Even before the Doyle ordeal, JJ had noticed Reid looking awfully sickly on occasion when he came to visit. She'd catch him rubbing his forehead, wincing and shielding his eyes from bright lights. Some nights he called to tell her he wouldn't be able to come by at all, his voice sounding pained on the phone.

But what did he say when I asked if he was okay? "I'm fine. It's nothing." Just another secret he wanted to keep from me.

And if he kept his apparent illness, whatever it was, from her, it was a safe bet he'd hid it from the others as well.

We've all got things we won't share, don't we?

Maybe it was better they were fighting. At least this way they were actually being honest with each other.

Another drive through town, this time to a motel. Rossi and Reid were heading to the last place Tammy had been before she'd gone missing, in the hopes of figuring out how she was taken.

As he drove, Rossi snuck glances at the young genius sitting next to him in the car. The fact that he wasn't yakking Rossi's ear off about things not related to the case was telling. The not-so-little blowup between him and JJ at the police station was obviously still weighing on his mind. Rossi suspected Reid was doing everything in his power to avoid any discussion of it.

Well, too bad.

"So, that was quite a conversation you and JJ had earlier."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, now you don't? Didn't seem to stop you earlier. The entire police station got to listen in."

Reid shifted uncomfortably. "I hadn't planned that, you know. I was just…"

"Pissed off?"

"She said this was about my profiling skills, Rossi."

"Yeah, and you implied she would've let you go back on Dilaudid." Rossi gave a meaningful look to Reid, who folded his arms. "But you don't really believe that she'd do that, right? Just as she really doesn't believe this is about your profiling skills."

Reid didn't say anything. He simply sunk further into his seat, continuing to stare out the window.

"Maybe she was right, though."

He'd said it so softly Rossi had to lean in to hear. "What?"

"Maybe I wasn't paying attention. Looking back…there were some things that…"

"…just didn't make sense," Rossi finished knowingly.

Reid whipped his head around at that comment. "Don't tell me you knew, too?"

"I suspected," Rossi clarified. "I didn't want to say anything, though, in case I was wrong. Didn't want to get anyone's hopes up too high."

"So she was right," Reid muttered.

"Reid, stop being so hard on yourself. Emily's death was tough on all of us. It makes sense we'd all miss the signs. Hell, I'm willing to bet that any suspicions I had were borne out of desperate hope rather than any solid evidence." He looked over at Reid, who sat, mulling over his words, nodding.

They slowed to a stop at a corner. "Look, Reid, I won't tell you how you should or shouldn't feel about any of this." He turned to fully face the younger man then. "All I know is that you and JJ have been close friends since before I knew either of you. She named you her son's godfather. When she came back, one of the first things she told me was how much she'd missed working with you."

"…she did?" Reid glanced at Rossi out of the corner of his eye.

"She did. And that's all the more I'll say. You do with those facts what you will," he finished up. "Now let's go solve this case."

I tried.

That was all Emily could tell herself as she stared across at Reid, who was now sound asleep, his head resting against the back of the seat.

How many times had the two of them had little heart-to-heart talks during their return trips? Come down from a case with a game of cards or chess, a discussion about books, or an interesting story or fact?

Reid would probably know the exact answer.

Tears stung the corners of Emily's eyes, and she gripped the armrest. She hated this. If she'd known seven months ago that two of her best friends would be at odds over her, she'd have continued to hunt Doyle out in the open.

He should be mad at me. I ran away. I expect him to tell me everything, but I couldn't talk to him about Doyle? I could've stopped all of this. I could've told JJ not to get involved.

I could've contacted them. What would've been the harm in passing along a simple message? They would've kept quiet.

That would've been too much pressure, though, for them and for JJ. She had enough on her plate already without becoming a messenger for the team. Her and Hotch being the only ones involved just made sense.

Not that that made her decision any easier, of course. JJ had spent many a long night venting about keeping the secret from her friends, from Will, during her online interactions with Emily. And her rants almost turned into rambling babble whenever she went on and on about Reid.

"We all know how smart he is, Emily. Nothing gets by him. He's bound to figure this all out eventually, isn't he?"

Emily had actually asked that very question often, too, about Reid and the team at large. Hearing about all the things they'd done just to try and avenge her "death" during that committee interrogation had been incredibly overwhelming and touching.

The fact that none of them, save for Rossi, considered the idea she might be alive was a little startling and tough to deal with, though. They'd obviously longed for that fact to be true, yes, but never seemed to accept it as a legitimate possibility.

I suppose I can't really blame them. The very idea sounds crazy when you say it aloud. Hell, I started to believe I was dead after a while.

God, if only I could've just taken Doyle out myself. Then nobody'd be in this mess at all.

She just wanted to protect me. Her and Hotch. And they did. I'm okay. I'm alive. Doyle's dead. Nobody else, save for a few criminals, was hurt or killed. The plan worked, damnit. Can't we just leave it at that?

At least she didn't have to do much convincing with the others in terms of forgiveness. Garcia and Rossi were far too thrilled at her being back to get hung up on the details. Any anger Morgan had felt was more directed at himself, something which Emily planned to talk to him about. No way did she need anyone else blaming themselves and thinking they'd "failed" her, when that couldn't be further from the truth. And Seaver wasn't even there anymore.

There was only one person left, and she was staring at him right now.

Reid never ceased to amaze Emily. One minute he could be snippy and sarcastic, like at the police station, the next, he could look like the most innocent, sweetest boy in the world, like now.

Emily snuck one last glance at her still sleeping friend.

JJ's right. Reid is very smart.

He'd make the right choice tomorrow. She was sure of it. He wouldn't be Spencer Reid if he didn't.

JJ was barely paying attention to the friendly conversation and laughter that were taking place nearby. Instead, her eyes kept darting to the kitchen doorway. Everybody had gathered at Rossi's for the cooking lesson.

Well, almost everybody. One person was noticeably absent.

Emily caught JJ at that same moment, noticed the disappointment appearing on her face. "JJ…" she began.

"He's not coming, is he?" She gave Emily a pointed, knowing look. "Don't tell me he's 'running late'."

Emily sighed. "He said he'd think about coming."

"That's not much better," JJ muttered, folding her arms.

"He'll show up, JJ."

"How do you know?"

Emily shrugged. "Just a feeling."

"I hope you're right," JJ replied, her voice still uncertain, as she turned away.

Emily had been right, of course. Reid did show up – a bit late, but he showed, and shared in the delicious meal Rossi had taught them to cook. Some time later, after everyone had had their fill, the team had all settled out on Rossi's porch, slowly letting the tension from the last few days fade as they all swapped more recipes and shared silly stories.

At some point, Reid looked up, noticing JJ still wasn't back yet. She'd left to grab a drink a few minutes ago. Rossi caught Reid staring.

"Go."

Reid jumped at the sound of the older man's voice. "Huh?"

"I know you want to talk to her. So go."

Reid nodded, wandering off on another search for JJ. This one didn't take as long – she was standing in the kitchen, gazing at the moon through the window. JJ didn't hear the footsteps, but she could still sense the movement anyway. She turned to see Reid cautiously approaching her.

"Spence…" she whispered, hesitantly turning ever so slightly in his direction.

"Hi," he said softly, coming to stand next to her. "Thought you came to get a drink."

She held the bottle up. "I did. But then I couldn't help but notice the moon outside."

"It is nice," Reid noted, taking a quick glance.

He hadn't come here for small talk. Reid's eyes darted down and away before reaching hers again. "I think we need to talk."

JJ nodded, swallowing a bit. "Yeah. I think we do."

The two stood, staring, waiting to see who would make the first move.

"I'm glad you came tonight," JJ said, hoping the genuine emotion in her words shone through.

"I hadn't planned to at first, to be honest. But then I realized I had to." He paused. "I don't want…this…" he gestured at the space between them "…to linger and become worse."

JJ perked up at that comment. Another positive sign. "I don't want that, either." She reached out, daring to touch his arm. "Look, Spencer, I'm really sorry."

"I know."

"It wasn't that I didn't trust you, or didn't think you should know, or –"

"Your hands were tied, JJ. I understand." Another pause. "I'm sorry, too."

"About what?" JJ looked utterly puzzled.

"What I said at the station…about…you know."

JJ bit her lip, surprised at the tears stinging at her eyes. "It really scared me when you said that, Spence. Just the thought of you even considering going back to that…" She couldn't hold back any longer, throwing her arms around him. He's here. He's healthy. He didn't go there.

Reid returned the hug, gently rubbing her back. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You know I'd do everything in my power to stop you if –"

"I know." The fact he'd even brought up his cravings, the way he'd snapped at her in Oklahoma…it all seemed eerily reminiscent of his interactions with Emily a number of years ago.

A meeting or two was definitely in order.

"I couldn't turn you away," JJ said suddenly as she pulled back.

"What?"

"During those ten weeks. I know I shouldn't have invited you in, but I just…I couldn't bear to do that."

Reid gave a rueful look. "I didn't know where else to turn. I saw everyone else at work, I knew how they were feeling." He let out a wry chuckle. "I guess there was one upside to you being gone from the BAU after all."

"Yeah, well, trust me when I say I'm very glad to be back here. I never thought I'd miss a job involving chasing serial killers, but…"

"It's a living, right?" The two shared a laugh at that before quieting.

"So…we're okay, then?" Her expression full of hope.

"We will be." He flashed a small smile to emphasize his point. He didn't want to make any guarantees – they'd both said some hurtful things, and he wasn't sure what level she was at in terms of moving on.

JJ breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God. She could accept that. Nobody could possibly process and deal with all of this in so easy and short a time. "That's good enough for now."

Reid nodded. "Well…" he began, clearing his throat, "we should probably get back out there." He glanced over towards the doorway.

"Yeah, the others must be wondering what's happened to us." JJ grinned, raising her eyebrows. She giggled as Reid blushed at her words. He then waved a hand in the general direction of the doorway, allowing her to go ahead of him.

As she did, JJ felt Reid place his hand on her upper back.

Yes. They would indeed be okay.

"Familiarity can no longer be a necessary condition for trust." - Robert C. Solomon

Reviews/critiques/etc. appreciated, as always.