Thank you everyone that has read/reviewed/favorited/alerted!
Not only does it keep me aware that people are still reading, but it reminds me this story exists as well!
Chapter Eleven goes out to GriffinRose, who requested Roxas flip out on a teacher.

Nada: GUH! I SPENT THE LAST FOUR HOURS WORKING ON THIS CHAPTER! Which is ironic because the chapters are actually already written, but I had to add something into chapter 11 before I decided to post it. Thank you everyone who wished me well wishes on both Silentium's release and for the passing of my cat! It really helped me out. Speaking of, if anyone is interested in purchasing Silentium they can find a copy on Amazon.com for $15 (or something along that price range).

If something doesn't make sense in this chapter, please tell me. I wrote this out of partial sleep deprivation so I'm sure it's riddled with mistakes!

Warning(s): OOC-ness, Swearing, Monster Rage, Original Character

Chapter Eleven

Dinner was a silent affair that night. I wasn't in the mood to go into detail about how my day had been no matter how hard my family tried to pry it from me. Sora had enough sense to not bother with it, but the way his eyes watched me as I ate dinner gave way the curiosity he held. He would ask me once the house was asleep, I just knew it.

There was no use trying to avoid it, no matter how much I wished to. A curious Sora was almost as bad as an angry Sora. He was stubborn and persistent, even if I tried to avoid the question, he wouldn't let it go. So I decided to make his life easier and waited for him at the edge of my bed once dinner had finished and the dishes were washed. He walked in not a minute later, his blue eyes filled with solemn determination. I hated that look in his eyes; it never meant anything good-especially when it concerned me.

He took his place on top of his sleeping bag and folded his legs so he sat Indian style with his hands perched on his knees. We continued to eye the other, neither one of us wanting to start the unavoidable conversation. The seconds began to tick away then the minutes and still we refused to say a word. That is, until the brunet finally released a tired sigh.

"OK, I'll start first," he said, his expression now soft despite the tone of his voice. "How was your day?"

I resisted the snort that wanted to escape my throat and crossed my arms so that my nails latched onto my skin. The image of my scissors flashed through my mind once more.

"Why don't you ask something that isn't so stupid?"

His face contorted into a frown. "That bad, huh?"

I felt my nails bite into my skin on their own accord as the day's events replayed in my mind. "Stupid question times two."

Silence befell us once more, this time longer than before. I kept my eyes focused on my feet, my temper growing feral by the second. I could feel his eyes on me, watching me, concerned for me. It didn't take a genius to know why he was watching me. Digging your nails into your skin wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do when everyone thought you were suicidal.

"This isn't what you wanted to talk about, is it Sora?" I began once the silence became too much. "If it's about anatomy I already said I was sorry. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

He finally broke away from his intent staring in favor of playing with a loose thread on his pillow.

"It's not about that," he muttered.

I raised a curious eyebrow. "There's something else?"

I watched him as he wrapped the thread around his finger and gave it a few tugs before it finally snapped from the pillow. His expression formed into a pout, though I wasn't sure if it was because of the thread or his thoughts.

"It's about Kairi." He admitted; his eyes still focused on the thread.

"What about her?" I thought back to this morning and all the texts she spammed me throughout class. I couldn't help but grimace. I really need to get around to deleting them before someone read it.

"Don't take this the wrong way but…" he trailed off, his face scrunched up as though he were struggling with his confession. And perhaps he was having trouble. Kairi was one of his best friends after all; he couldn't say anything that would sully her reputation even if it was the truth. As he continued his internal battle for the right words, I heard the loud chime of my cell phone go off in my discarded uniform pants. I traversed across the room, pulled out the phone and climbed back on my bed, this time crossing my legs like Sora. He watched me curiously; his miniature internal battle paused for the moment. I ignored his gaze and clicked on the message. It was from Kairi.

hey : ) how r u?

My eyes trailed back to Sora, who continued to watch me inquisitively.

"Who's that?" He asked.

My lips moved before I could help myself. "Kairi."

His mouth formed into a thin line, though his eyes remained curious. "What did she say?"

I watched him carefully for a moment. Could it be possible? I mean-it wasn't impossible, but… could this be what I think it is? Sora wasn't one to be possessive, or at least, he never gave me the impression he could be, but was he acting like this because he was jealous? It was too good to be true. Sora being jealous? Really? Was he jealous of me because I got to spend so much time with Kairi or was he jealous of Kairi because she got to spend so much time with me?

"Why should I tell you what she said if she's the one texting me?"

My thumb moved over the screen as I replied to her message. I glanced up at Sora afterwards, his expression sullen.

"You're not going to tell me?"

"I don't see why is should." The corners of my mouth suddenly twitched upward. "Unless you give me a good reason to."

There was only one reason I wanted to hear, whether or not that was the reason was up to Sora.

His expression morphed again and he was back to being torn between himself. He fiddled with the thread again until the string snapped between his fingers a second time. He sighed.

"I know you think I'm slow, and maybe I am, but I'm not blind." He raised his vivid blue eyes toward me, their usual spark now burning with gravity. "I'm happy that you and Kairi are getting along, but…"

"But?" I urged him on, an eyebrow raised. I tried to ignore my racing heart and the anticipation that suddenly coursed through my veins.

Just say it, just say it, just say it-

"…but don't forget that you're my boyfriend, OK?" He tore his burning eyes away from mine and fixated his stare on something on the floor. "It's not fair that she can touch you like that when I can't," he muttered like a dejected child denied of something sweet. "And worst of all, it's like you don't even-" the rest of his voice died in his throat the moment my lips crashed into his.

I hadn't even noticed I jumped off my bed or that I managed to reach him as quickly as I did. My mind fell blank the instant his words left his lips and instinct took over. We fell on top of his sleeping bag, his head just barely missing the hard wooden floor thanks to a discarded pillow. He wrapped his arms around me as our lips moved in a rhythm only we knew. The world around us slowly gave way to nothing; it was just him and me, two souls in one world. Nothing mattered but him and me.

"Hey does-" Crash! Something porcelain shattered against the floor, sending a thousand pieces into the air and making the two of us jump apart in seconds. I fell back onto my bottom, my heart hammering against my chest. It only worsened when I realized who it was that stood by the door.

"Don't mind me. Go on, continue," my brother's blue-green eyes narrowed dangerously, as though he were daring us to continue. I scooted further away from Sora, who sat up on the sleeping bag and had enough audacity to look embarrassed in front of my brother.

It was the biggest mistake he could make.

"I knew letting you two share a room was a big mistake. What did you think you were doing?" His voice rose in volume as he finished, his temper barely controlled. "Explain yourself, now!"

"It was nothing!" I managed before Sora could open his mouth. "I, uh, I slipped."

"On top of Sora?" Cloud asked dully.

"He caught me." I replied.

My brother's face grew unimpressed. "With his mouth?"

I quickly fell silent, having nothing else to defend our claim of innocence.

"Cloud-" Sora tried, but Cloud interrupted him with a wave of his hand.

"I don't want to hear it. Pack up your things and sleep in my room."

Sora clamped his mouth shut and climbed to his feet. As he began to gather his things, Cloud turned his stern gaze to me, his anger still evident but not as fiery as before.

"Save it," I grumbled, turning away from my brother's gaze. "I don't want to hear your lecture."

My brother crossed his arms and said, "Fine. I'll save it for another day. If you have homework to do, I suggest you do it now." With that, he stormed into the hall in search for a broom for the shattered plates and crumbled cookies that littered the floor.

-x-X-x-

Sharing a room with my brother made me feel like a little boy again. It brought me back to a time when my mom was still in training to be a nurse and the only thing Naminé and I had for entertainment was playing hide and seek with ourselves in the one bedroom apartment we once occupied. They weren't pleasant memories and Cloud's presence in my room made it more tangible than ever before. I was reminded once again of how trapped my life had become.

-x-X-x-

School that following morning hadn't been any better than yesterday. We met up with everyone just outside the doors and dispersed for our lockers with the promise of meeting in homeroom. Sora waited by my locker, eating a honey bun he had bought from the cafeteria. It was hard to keep focus on what I was doing when your back felt like people were burning holes into it with their eyes. It didn't help if their whispers sounded more like casual chatter rather than them trying to keep a secret. I can't say I didn't know what brought on the change, because then I would be lying. I knew what they were talking about, but even then I just wished they'd keep their comments to themselves.

Today was the day I revealed what those scissors had done to my arm and the reception it was getting was not a very pleasant one.

"I can't believe they're still together. How can Sora stay with him?"

"That's so sad. Love really does conquer all, huh?"

"Ugh, he's still here. I can't believe they even allow people like him in school. Let's hope he doesn't snap one day and get us all killed."

"I know right?"

"Ew, look at his arm. Is that really what it looks like? Gross!"

The book I pulled out from my book bag fell into the locker with a loud thunk just as the last "whisper" walked past by us. My right hand clutched onto the locker door so tight, my knuckles grew paler than their natural color. I chose to remove the bandages because it was easier to wash my hands without the itchy, uncomfortable cloth rubbing against the wounds. The slashes that littered my skin were no longer painful or an angry red as they had been the day they were created. They were dull in color; the ones too light on the skin no longer there and those too deep now covered in scar tissue. It wasn't a pretty sight to behold, but it was nothing compared to the atrocity etched on my backside.

I tore my eyes away from the disaster only to find Sora watching me with a troubled look.

"Don't start," I grumbled, my temper rising. I grabbed the remainder of my books and closed my locker door with more force than was necessary. "Let's just have a good day, OK?"

He reached out for my left hand, his fingers intertwining with my scarred ones. "OK." he smiled.

-x-X-x-

Surprisingly, Friday morning turned out to be a better day than the previous. The judgmental stares from the student body didn't get any better, but they were easier to ignore than the whispers. Luckily, their hushed tones were beginning to subside as the thought of the weekend sank into everyone's minds.

Why bother with idle gossip when tomorrow was Saturday? Speaking of Saturday…

"Are you and Sora planning on doing anything tomorrow?" Kairi asked.

She took her place beside me on the bleachers, her team having lost a volleyball game against the seniors. We turned our gaze towards Riku's team-as a show of support rather than actual interest. We already knew his team would win anyway.

"I don't think so. He didn't say anything about it." I shrugged.

Kairi's brows knit together in concern. "Oh. I wonder if it's because of that?"

I snapped my gaze toward her. "That? What that?" I frowned.

I watched her violet-blue eyes shift from concern and curiosity to concern and turmoil. She nibbled on her bottom lip as she thought. She looked almost as torn as Sora did yesterday. Unfortunately for her, I wasn't having it.

"Spit it out Kairi! What do you know?" I snapped.

My small outburst caught the attention of some of my teammates, but I chose to ignore them like I did everyone else. Kairi quickly withdrew from her inner struggle and narrowed her pretty little eyes at me, anger blazing within them.

"Don't give me an attitude Roxas! I'm trying to be considerate of your feelings."

Her words were meant to be kind, but somehow, it infuriated me.

"Don't give me that crap, Kairi. I'm not some stupid thing that would break at the slightest touch." I growled, trying my best to keep my voice even, though I was failing miserably. I gave her the most fearsome glare I could muster and watched as her anger deflated in seconds.

"OK, I'm sorry," She said with a sigh. She reached for my left hand and held it within her warm, small hands. "It's just that, after what happened, none of us want to make you reach that point again. We're all a little uneasy and I'm sorry if it's making you angry, but can you really blame us?"

I rolled my eyes in response, mostly because I knew she was right.

"Anyway, I asked if you were doing anything on Saturday because-" her glossy lips suddenly split into a wide grin. "-I want to go shopping!" her eyes sparkled in a way I had never seen before. "It'll be fun!" she added at the first sign of my hesitance.

"Fun? Wait, why are you even asking me? What about Olette or Naminé? Or Slephie or Riku?"

Kairi released my hand from her grip in favor of raising four fingers in the air. "Naminé said she, Hayner and Pence already had plans this Saturday, so they'll be at the Usual Spot doing whatever." She checked off one finger. "Olette already made plans with Sora." She checked off another finger. "Selphie stopped hanging out with us ages ago-"

I suddenly frowned. "Why? She's been best friends with Naminé since forever."

"I know," The red head rolled her eyes in disdain. The topic obviously annoyed her. "But she didn't want to deal with it."

She didn't need to elaborate in order for me to know what she meant by "it." Selphie gave up years of friendship with my sister because of me. It wasn't a selfish thought based on assumption alone. I had seen the way she looked at me during the few times we all managed to hang out during the summer. Her sudden disappearance near the end of the summer and her blatant lack of interest for my sister now, only confirmed what we all suspected. Selphie didn't want to be friends with Naminé if it meant she had to deal with someone as unstable as me. I honestly couldn't blame her, but that didn't mean I couldn't hate her for it.

How easy it must be to walk away from someone like me and not have to look back with regret.

Kairi shook her head, her expression tight with displeasure. "Anyway, Riku can't come because he'll be with Sora and Olette. You know how it is. Wherever Sora is-"

"Riku would be there too," I finished with another roll of my eyes. "Like a dog following his owner."

She giggled, playfully smacking my arm at the mental image I gave her. She scooted closer to me so that her fingers brushed against my left hand.

"So come on, come shopping with me, please? It'll be fun, I promise!"

I groaned at the thought, but couldn't find any excuse to get me out of it, especially since I would be the only one without any plans to do on a Saturday. Cloud wouldn't leave me alone in the house anyway, so not having any plans on a Saturday was no longer my choice to make. If I refused to go, Cloud would take me somewhere of his choosing. Crap.

So, with a defeated sigh, a chose the lesser of two evils and reluctantly agreed to go shopping with Kairi tomorrow. She squealed in delight and wrapped her arms around me in a bone crushing hug. From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Riku watching us from the gym floor and gave him the most smug smirk I could muster.

If looks could kill, I would be dead three times over.

-x-X-x-

The thought of Sora making plans without me knowing followed me hours after Kairi was no longer at my side. Anatomy was slightly more productive than yesterday's class, so I hadn't gotten the chance to ask him about his Saturday plans. Thankfully, an opportune moment came up in the form of a lab period.

Riku and I reached the table first. He sat across from me, his green eyes blazing with an unspoken promise of murder. To test the waters, I gave him a somewhat friendly, somewhat devious smirk and watched, with great satisfaction, at a muscle in his jaw clench.

Yep, Riku definitely wanted to kill me.

Sora appeared by my side seconds later.

"Kairi told me you're going to help her shop tomorrow," he said, much to my surprise. He gave me a sympathetic look and reached for my hands. "I'm so sorry."

I furrowed my brows, thoroughly confused. Sora's sympathetic expression worsened at my confusion and Riku-well, that bastard was actually snickering.

"Oh, I get it," He suddenly smirked, pleased with himself. "So that's how it is. She convinced you to go shopping with her. Heh, good job."

"Is anyone going to bother to fill me in or am I just going to be left in the dark?" I grumbled, annoyed with their looks. "She said you two made plans with Olette."

Sora and Riku exchanged expressions for a moment. "We lied," the senior admitted. "Kairi asked me to go shopping with her this morning and I told her I already made plans with Sora."

The brunet in question nodded in agreement. "And when she asked us, we both panicked and lied on the spot."

Something akin to anger bubbled in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't sure if it was because my friends had the audacity to lie to Kairi the way they did or because they had the capability of doing so in the first place. Was I angry because I was the last person Kairi came to despite our numerous classes together or because Sora hadn't lied for me too? Whatever the reason, it didn't matter because now I was angry and I had no way of removing it.

I closed my eyes and released the air encased in my lungs. Getting angry would do me no good, but what else could I have done? We dropped the conversation, though I wasn't sure if it was for my sake or theirs. The rest of the period went on without a hitch. Sora and Riku managed to keep themselves occupied with the lab work while I sat in my chair staring down at the words that were meant to mean something but failed to reach my brain. I couldn't help but think of Kairi.

It was a mistake to do so. The thought of her only brought back the memory of their lies and once again, the fury that wanted to unleash itself gnawed achingly against the surface of my skin. It wasn't something I could ignore with a simple change of thought. It was too powerful, too overwhelming; I needed an outlet and I needed it fast. But what? What could I possibly do that would ease the monster inside me?

My eyes roamed my scared fingers, the memory of my lash out with the mirror flashed through my mind.

It was a stupid question. I had an outlet and I had access to it, but how to get away with it?

My gaze wandered back to the paperwork in a futile hope that maybe something would click in my brain and make sense of what we were supposed to do, but as I expected, it didn't click. Nothing made sense. So I gave up trying.

I threw my hand into the air before the plan materialized in my head. I wasn't sure on what I was planning on doing, only that I needed an outlet and despite the fact that I didn't have anything sharp anywhere on my person, I had to make do with the next best thing.

"Yes, Mr. Uchiyama? Do you have a question about the assignment?"

"No. I need to go to the bathroom."

Riku and Sora tore their eyes away from their worksheets. From the corner of my eye, I watched them exchange unreadable expressions before they brought their gaze back to me. I made sure to keep my face impassive, I didn't need them catching me in the act like last time.

Our Anatomy teacher pursed her lips together as if contemplating whether or not she should allow me to go. I watched her gaze shift toward the clock that hung over the classroom door then return back to me, her expression strangely disapproving. I watched, with mild disgust and burning rage as her beady little eyes slowly focused on my scarred arm. Her lips curled into something that resembled disgust while her eyes hardened in a way that made the monster within me want to scream.

She tore her scrutinizing eyes away from my arm and turned away from me with such abruptness that I hadn't noticed I was staring at her back until then.

"I'm sorry Mr. Uchiyama. I can't let you go." Her tone was stern, almost like how Cloud sounded when he was trying to enact a will of authority over me. It only fueled my anger.

"Why?" The word slipped out of my mouth before my brain could register it. It was also loud and brought most of the class to attention. The air around us grew thick with tension, as though the students were expecting something to occur. It wasn't my intention to give them a show, I just wanted to use the bathroom.

"Excuse me?" She asked, turning her gaze back toward me, though I didn't miss the flicker they did in-between my arm and face. The corners of her lips twitched like she were trying her best to hide the disgust that wanted so badly to escape, but she didn't need to hide it. I could see through her fucking facade.

My fingers curled into a fist.

"Do you have a problem with me Mrs. Miller? Because if you do, you might as well excuse me from class. I don't need to sit here and watch you judge me because you're like every other fucking person in this god forsaken school!"

There were a few collective gasps that rang throughout the class. Some students seemed to lean closer into the conversation, as though this were the most exciting thing they'd seen all year. Others, tried to keep a low profile. They tried to act like they weren't listening, but I knew they were just as interested in what would happen as everyone else. Sora and Riku had stiffened, their expressions frozen in what I expected would be shocked.

Mrs. Miller, on the other hand, dropped her facade and showed her true face. She was disgusted with the scars that littered my arm, disgusted with my attempted deed over the summer. She didn't know the full story; she couldn't possibly understand, and yet, here she stood, so tall and proud as though she thought she were better than me because she didn't have scars that marred her skin. She didn't have constant reminders of the past haunting her at every waking turn.

She thought I was weak.

She thought I was selfish.

How could she possibly understand?

And then she opened her god forsaken mouth, "Mr. Uchiyama, I will not tolerate such inappropriate language in my classroom." She narrowed her beady little eyes at me, her skin turning a shade of red. "I will not excuse you from class just so you can run off to the bathroom and cut yourself to death. I will not enable such a heinous, disgusting act take place during school hours. If you so desire to mutilate your body, do it in your own home on your own time! And might I suggest, the next time you feel the inclination to get attention that you pick a hobby less self-destructive? Not only would you gain respect from your fellow peers, but you might also gain a few more friends than the ones you currently have. Now if you don't mind, sit there and be silent!"

The silence that permeated the room was so heavy, a pin could drop and sound like an explosion.

There were no more whispers, no rustling of paper, no shifting of seats. Everyone sat frozen, their countless eyes focused between her and I, their mouths agape. Shock. That was the only word that described the heavy stillness within the classroom.

Shock and sorrow, because her words had stung harsher than all the students combined.

I returned my attention back to the sheet of paper, my mind blank, my body still. I didn't even want to breathe. Sora tried to place a comforting hand against my shoulder, but his touch was uncomfortable against my headed skin. I shook him off.

He didn't try to comfort me again.

-x-X-x-

Dinner that night was worse than yesterday. After Anatomy had let out for the day, the excited whispers from the students who had bare witnessed the horrid event spread like wildfire throughout the school. I was extremely relieved when I managed to gather my things before all eyes could focus back on me and by the time the whole student body knew about my verbal smack down with Mrs. Miller, I was already waiting in Leon's car for the others. Sora and Naminé made no mention of what occurred, even though I knew they wanted to say something. It was obvious with the way my twin kept biting her bottom lip.

Now, here we were again, awkwardly sitting in the kitchen in half-silence. Naminé kept alternating her gaze between me and her meal, the curiosity evident in her eyes. It ate at her. She wanted to know, but resisted asking. It was the first time I saw my sister struggle with her desire of wanting to know and my desire for peace. For once, I was grateful that she wasn't bombarding me with questions.

When the silence became too suspicious, Sora and Naminé tried their best to pretend like nothing was wrong. They tried to chat up a storm while Cloud and Leon mindlessly nodded their heads as though they were listening when it was obvious the two of them were lost in their thoughts. Occasionally, my brother would catch onto my eerie silence and toss a question on how my day had been today, but Sora and Naminé would distract them with questions of their own. They were trying to give me peace, it was too bad my cell phone didn't understand the meaning of the word.

It'd been going off the hook since the others got wind of the story. It got to the point that hearing its' chime grew irritating, so I silenced the phone and ignored every vibrate that coursed against my thigh. Kairi's text, on the other hand, had caught my attention.

heard about wat mrs miller said. im sorry u had 2 go thru that : ( if u dont wanna meet up 2morrow i would understand

My thumb flew over the letters without hesitation: It's not your fault. I had it coming, I guess. Let's meet up at tram commons at 10.

in the morning?! She replied.

I grinned, imagining her startled expression in my mind's eye. It was at times like this I welcomed Kairi's distractions.

Is that too early for you?

Her reply was instantaneous: is that a challenge? lets make it 8! c u there roxy~

I released a lighthearted sigh, a sigh smile gracing my lips. Waking up at eight in the morning just to go shopping wasn't exactly the best way to spend one's Saturday, but after the hell I went through today, I think the distraction would do be wonders. Besides, I was going to spend the day with Kairi Uchida.

That was a first.

Nada: Roxas's temper is escalating. That can't possibly be a good sign for anyone! By the way, sorry about the random OC drop. I forgot who the Anatomy teacher was supposed to be and since I can't find my notes for this story (as usual) I had to pull a professor out of my ass. And then she started talking like that, so I just decided to roll with it.

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